Before I die; Prologue

Lucy

I had always wanted to live life step by step, let it flow as it went. To take it slow, because there was time for everything.

...But now, there was no such a thing as slow.

"Fuck, bunny girl..."Gajeel groans as I continue to grind, letting him deep in me. I hold onto him tightly, I grip and pull his black long hair into my fist. He rubs his calloused hands over my body, to my neck, to my face. He pulls me into a deep kiss, I suck on his lips before throwing my head back.

I moaned and bit my lip, I could feel myself so close to coming. He sucked on my breast, and helped me move faster against him. I tightened my hold on his muscled arms before bringing him into another kiss. My body shook slightly as I came, I felt warmth course through my body. Tiny pleasure needles poking my lower region, I curled my toes and got off of him.

He slipped the rubber off of him and laid next to me. He didn't look at me, I didn't look at him. We both knew what we were doing, it was just sex. Simply that, and a good friendship. I push him playfully.

"I've got to go on a mission."I say. "You can come if you want."

"I've got a mission with Levy today."He says. He closes his eyes. "Any other day, you know I'd go."

I nod. "I'll get going then."I jump over him down to the floor. I bend down to get my clothes and boots.

"Don't bend down like that, you'll tempt me to keep you in bed all day."

I turn and give a small smile. "I wouldn't mind. But I really have to leave."

He stands and leans down for a kiss, but I move my head away and kiss his cheek instead. "You're a tease."He chuckles and spanks me.

I laugh and clasp my bra. "Good luck on your mission."

"Same to you, bunny girl."He heads to the shower, when I hear the water running, I let out a long breath.

I was growing tired, not of him, not of sex anyway. I was just physically tired, exhausted. My bones ached, my muscles felt as if they weren't even there to begin with. I could feel the small pangs in my chest as my magic continued to reduce with each passing day.

I pull on the rest of my clothes and slip my boots on. I knew I had to tell someone soon, I was sure people were beginning to question my sudden change. Even Gajeel was out of it when I proposed this 'affair', but ended up accepting either way.

But I knew my life was coming to an end, slowly but surely. And I just wanted to do things I had never done before. Experience, be someone different. That little sparkle was beginning to fade though, I could feel my days counting down. I was too conscious of it, of my sickness. How I wished I would have never found out and simply lived out the rest of my days happily.

I tucked my keys into their pocket. I put my hair up into a pony tail and walked to Gajeel's kitchen. I couldn't remember the last time I had slept in my own bed. Or eaten in my own kitchen.

Lily raised a brow. He sat on the bar table, fresh cut kiwis on his lap. "Something wrong?"

"No."I shake my head. "What do you want to eat?"

"There's not much. Gajeel hasn't bought anything."He says as he munches on his kiwi.

I roll my eyes. "When does he buy anything...?"I mutter. I open the fridge and scan through anything that could be edible.

"Only when you come around, we mostly go out to have breakfast or something."He comes close to me. "But not since you started coming."

"Should I feel like that is a good or bad thing?"I ask and pull out some eggs and milk. Some pancakes could sit my stomach right before heading out on this mission.

"Dunno. I do miss eating pizza for breakfast. But you also cook amazingly well."He chuckles.

"Is that all you ate for breakfast? Pizza?"I question and turn the stove on. I set a pan down and let it warm up while I mixed the ingredients.

"Well, no-sometimes it was Ramen."He tries to defend their petty breakfast.

"Uh-hu."I smile and start warming up the pancakes. I hear footsteps coming down the stairs, his fresh aroma was always enchanting.

"What are you two talking about?"Gajeel walks into the kitchen, towel I hand and drying his long mane.

"Your pizza and ramen breakfast. Pancakes?"I ask and flip one onto a plate. I hand it to Lily and proceed to the next one.

"No. I'm heading out with Levy to get breakfast."He sighs. "She insisted we go to the new restaurant that opened up down town before leaving."

"Oh OK,"I smile. I place my own pancake down onto my plate. I turn the stove off and sit on the stool. "You should hurry, you're going to be late."

"You're rushing me out of my own home?"He quirks a brow. I laugh.

"No, you know Levy is so into you. She'll feel like you don't care about her if you don't arrive on time."I say and pop a piece into my mouth. "Oops, forgot the honey."

"But you really care about her don't you,"He chuckles and hugs me on the side. "Fucking your best friend's crush? Didn't pin you like that kind of girl, bunny girl."He whispers into my ear. He licks my jaw and places a small kiss.

"I'm still here guys,"Lily grumbles and turns away from us.

I really didn't know what kind of girl I was, not after finding out I had a very limited amount of time to do everything I wished. Perhaps sleeping with my best friend's crush was not such a great idea after all, but I couldn't help it, I found some type of consolation in his big arms.

"You're probably right."I mumble and look at him. "I might not care for her as much as I thought."

He pulls back a bit surprised. "As long as she and I aren't anything, there isn't really anything wrong with this..."

"I am what is keeping you two apart."I sigh and offer him a weak smile. "But it'll be over soon."

"Be over?"He clears his throat. "This?"

"I think it might be the right thing to do."Lily turns toward us. "If Levy finds out, she'll be torn. I care about her, you both care about her. We will loose her if she ever hears of this."

"I know."I lay my head on the table. "Today will be the last day."

Gajeel narrows his eyes. "Last day?"

I huff. "Yes, you need to man up and tell her how you feel."

He scrunches his face. "I don't feel ready yet."

"Ready for what?"I stand and put the things I had used away. It was almost 9 o'clock, I had to be at the requesters home by 11.

"To end this, to start a serious relationship. I am not ready for any of that."He sighs and slumps onto a stool.

Lily rolls his eyes. "Levy has been pinning after you since you arrived at the guild."

"Yeah? Well let her continue doing that for a couple more months."

"You're an asshole."I smack his head. "If I were Levy, I would have stopped following you around years ago."

"Yes. But you're not her."He pushes my swatting hand away.

"No. Because I already have you."I click my tongue. I felt terrible speaking like that, I felt my heart drop. I needed to end this as soon as possible, I don't want to loose my best friend.

Gajeel stays quiet for few seconds before standing up. He pats my head as if I were a dog. "I don't want to be too late. You should get going too."

"Sure thing."I swat his hand away and grab my bag. We walk out of his house, Lily on his shoulder. "Bye."I tell them before heading my way.

Gajeel doesn't respond. Lily waves and I turn away from them.

I knew what I was doing was wrong on many levels. I could have been with anyone else, but instead I had slept with him. Someone extremely important to Levy. I really didn't know who I was anymore.

I wiped the tears that fell. I wouldn't cry over something that I had looked for on my own. I didn't bother stopping by my house. I went straight to the train station.

I had already gotten the mission paper since last night anyway. It was simple really, I would do a play as a princess on the outskirts of Magnolia. Where the rich people liked to hand out in.

It was more like a bar than a theater really. I made line and paid for my ticket. The last time I had been on a mission with team Natsu was a month ago. Since then Lisanna has decided to accompany them, I felt bad for neglecting my team. But how can I be around them while keeping a huge secret from them.

Not like I didn't have many secrets already. I had been injecting myself with Ethernano, it helped calm the pain and to increase my magical abilities. With a greater secondary effect. I think I was wearing down faster that way, but it really helped not feel so sleepy all the time. It was popular drug amongst humans, but for mages, it was like a feeder to our containers. Except with time it damaged those containers.

I got onto the train, I ignored everything around me. Focusing on the bathroom door. I was beginning to feel drowsy, I was glad I had made it out of Gajeel's house before it happened. I pushed the door open and immediately wretched into the toilet seat.

I sat on the marble floor. There were knocks on the door, a small crowd gathered outside. I could hear them whispering.

"Are you OK?"A delicate voice asked.

"I'm fine, just get a bit of motion sickness."I lie and head to the sink. I clean my face and stare at my reflection.

The crowd dispersed. Leaving me to my thoughts. I pulled my shirt up and took a small syringe filled with electric blue liquid. I shoved the needle into my belly flesh and let it flow into my system.

The world was really fucked up, no-I was really fucked up. All I had ever wanted to do, was to become a great mage. One no one would mess with, one they could admire.

What was to admire of me now? I pull my shirt down and flush the toilet before going to my seat. I ignore the stares and sit on the plush seat. I look outside, everything moving quickly. Changing scene and city every few minutes.

The ethernano kicked in, I felt my veins pulsating with energy. I felt warm and strong. Too bad it would only last enough to get me home on time.

"Can I sit here?"An old lady asks.

"Yes."I respond, I feel the weight shift next to me. I just wanted to curl up and cry my heart out. I was too young to die. But we didn't get to decide. I had been stuck with a sickness that unfortunately had been passed down onto my by my mother.

"Where are you headed to?"The old lady asks.

I turn to look at her. "Lioness Bar."

"You don't seem like the type to go to a bar."She smiles. "It's good. It's good. To enjoy life. Just don't drink too much."

I crack a small smile. "I'm not going to drink. I'm going to do a play."

"Oh, that's right. They just added that new theater didn't they? You'll get them plenty of people with your beauty."She chuckles. The wrinkles on her face deepening. And it just made me more upset, to think I'd never get to that age.

"How old are you?"I ask suddenly. I sober up from my thoughts. "So-sorry. I didn't mean to ask it like that."

"It's fine."She laughs. "I am 87, going to be 88 in a few more days."

"Amazing."I breath out before the train jolts to a stop.

---

The bar was fancy, filled with all kinds of liquor and woman. Men drank and laughed like no tomorrow. I walked further inside, towards the bartender. He shook a silver cup wildly before lighting fire on his fingers and inserting into the silver cup. He poured the fiery drink onto a glass cup before handing it to a waitress.

"Excuse me?"I call out to him. He looks up from the wiping the counter.

"Yes?"He asks. The piercing on his eyebrow shining maliciously at me, I had always wanted a piercing. Not on my eyebrow though, one on the belly button would do just fine. I shake my thoughts away.

"Martel Lioness?"I ask.

He nods and heads to the back of the bar. I sit on an empty stool and proceed to wait.

The hairs on my arms stand as another arms rubs against mine. I pull away and look at the side with narrowed eyes. I was about to say something when I noticed who it was.

"Laxus?"

He smirks. "You like to drink now?"

"Not really."I mutter. I really did not want anyone of the guild near me, I didn't want them to notice the constant waves of energy that changed in me.

"Why are you here then?"He asks.

"I am on a mission."I look at him. He sips his drink and cocks his head.

"I am on a mission too."His smirk deepens to a smile.

"Wonderful."I say sarcastically. I didn't want to deal with him today. I would take my leave and simply go home to rest. But before I could do that.

"Lucy!"Evergreen exclaims. She hugs me tightly. I pale once I remember I had not showered, I look at Laxus from the corner of my eye. He doesn't pay no mind and continues to drink away. He burps loudly and laughs.

"Don't mind him, he's been drunk off his mind since morning."Freed says and offers me his hand. "I hadn't seen you in a long time, Lucy."

I smile. "I have been a bit busy."

"Cosplay girl, what happened to your outfits?"Bixlow asks.

I was wearing a black long sleeve and right knee shorts. I had tucked the shirt into the jeans and placed a thick shiny black belt. I wore semi long white socks and boots.

"I decided to change it up a bit."I explain lamely.

"I really kind of liked it before."Bixlow laughs.

"Liked it, liked it."His wood dolls say after him.

I was really growing uncomfortable. I didn't want them to know, I was not ready.

"Lucy! Team Rajinshuu! I was waiting for you!"Martel shows up. I let out a grumble as I realize they had taken the same mission as me.

"Looks like we will be working together, Lucy."Evergreen slaps my arm playfully. I try to smile back. I was always with Gajeel when I was at my lowest of energies, I had never been around him while Ethernano was fully active in my system. And now with the Rajinshuu here, I had to make sure they never crossed me while being at the lowest of my energies.

I could feel a heavy stare, but I didn't want to acknowledge it. I followed Martel into the back of the stage, fully focusing on the entrance of it and not on the disgusting stares of the men around here. I felt my stomach drop, a small pang on my chest began. I had used ethernano far too many times, and that little container, was beginning to break...

My life was fucked.