August 17th, 2014  

I yawned as I was jolted awake by my mom early in the morning.

"Honey, I'm going with Dad to the doctor today. I'll be back home in about two hours," she whispered in my ear. My eyes popped open. Today was the day we were finally going to figure out what's going on with my dad. Over the past few weeks he has become more irritable and aggressive. It sometimes seems like he has multiple personalities, but Mom thinks there is something more to it than a mental disorder. I don't know what to think, and I probably never will until we find out the truth.

"Ava is going to go on a run I think. You should go with her," my mom says with a half smile as she pats my leg and stands up. I nod and attempt a smile back at her while sitting up in bed. I sigh and text Ava, letting her know I'll join her this morning. I get up from my bed and quickly change into a loose dark pink tank top and gray workout shorts. I tie my black Nikes and race down the stairs.

"Took you long enough," Ava comments. I snort and make my way over to the fridge for a protein shake.

"I didn't even take five minutes to change," I say with a swig of the chocolate drink.

"I've been up since 5. Couldn't sleep," she explains.

"Worried about Dad?" I ask, already knowing the answer before I even asked the question. She nods and I lean against the cabinet.

"Me too." She throws away her yogurt cup and washes her hands quickly in the sink.

"Let's go," she commands, and she opens the door and slams it behind her. I toss my shake in the garbage and go after her. We begin stretching in the driveway before our run. I slide my hands down my legs to touch the hot blacktop and feel the stretch behind my knees. I reach my hands out a couple feet away from my feet and stretch my Achilles' tendon, a usual sore spot after I go running. I hold that for a few seconds before lunging forwards on my left leg. I glance over at Ava and see her doing a straddle stretch, and I switch to my right leg. A few minutes later, we both are stretched out and ready to run.

"The normal loop?" Ava says.

"Sure. Maybe a little longer," I say with a nod. She nods back and we take off. The concrete pounds underneath my sneakered feet, grounding me from all the thoughts floating around my head. I tell my brain to shut up, wanting to focus only on the running. The steaming sun shines down onto me and Ava, and I feel like I'm boiling. Sweat runs down my forehead and onto my cheek. I swipe it away, keep running, and glance around at the scenery. Green trees stand stick straight, flowers wilt a little with the scorching sun, and dirt gets kicked up with the constant moving of our feet. My throat and legs begin to burn, but I refuse to stop. Ava keeps running without any problem and I envy her. Always the better sister. I shake my head and pound harder into the ground.

We run for about twenty more minutes before slowing to a stop at our house. I gasp for air and bend over at my waist. I fall to my knees and flop down on the ground, and Ava gives me a look.

"Get up. You can't just stop moving after you run," she declares. I hold out my hand and she rolls her eyes before pulling me up. She pulls out her phone and checks it with a worried look.

"What?" I ask, coming up to read behind her shoulder. "Is there an update on Dad?" She quickly slams her phone shut and puts it away.

"No. Stop spying on me anyways, Camylle," she retorts before walking inside the house. I sigh. I'm getting more used to Ava's attitude lately. She's going to be a senior after all and is sick of her little sister. Of course it still hurts knowing we aren't as close as we used to be.

I take out my now loose ponytail and pull open the front door. A rush of ice cold air hits me right in the face, and I thank the Lord the air conditioner hasn't broken yet. I immediately head upstairs to take a shower before Mom and Dad get home. My mind races to thoughts of Mom crying as she comes home without Dad, saying that he has cancer and needs to stay in the hospital from now on.

"Shut up!" I whisper-yell at myself while smacking my arm. "It's fine. It's going to be fine. Everything will be fine."

.......................

I race down the stairs at the sound of the car beeping. I'm worried and scared and nervous all in one huge bundle, but my curiousness overtakes all those feelings. Even though I'm scared out of my mind to know the truth, I'm also a natural wonderer and am curious to know what's going on.

"Mom?" I call down as I step off the last stair. Ava is waiting patiently a few feet away from the door. I join her and grab her hand in some sort of comforting way.

"We're okay. It's going to be fine," I say with a smile. She gives me a half-hearted one back and looks down at the ground. The door opens with a familiar crack and my face immediately falls. Mom looks worse than I imagined. She looks tired, and her face shows that she's been crying. She's a mess. Dad somehow looks better. He's putting up a strong front I can tell. Underneath it I'm sure he's just as disheartened.

"Mom? Dad?" Ava whispers, her voice already cracking. I hold back tears as I realize that this is really happening. That it's not going to be okay. Something is wrong and my fairytale mind will not be able to fix it.

The rest is a blur. I can hardly remember what happened after they came home from the doctor. I do remember Mom saying he had Huntington's disease and trying to explain it to us, but my mind was racing and couldn't fully understand what was happening. She said they needed to finalize it with a blood test. The doctor was already 90% sure that's what he has though. After my mom seemed done explaining and my dad was comforting her, I couldn't stand sitting there doing nothing. My heart was pounding and everything around me seemed brighter, louder, closer.

"No," I whispered. "No!" Emotions flooded into my brain and I felt the need to flee. To run away and never look back. My legs worked without my brain telling them to. I didn't realize I was running until after I slammed the front door. My whole body felt numb as I sprinted down the street faster than I ever had before. I didn't know where I was going. Wherever my legs took me there I would be.

*

I had run into Daisy and Lincoln's neighborhood without knowing. I slowed my pace as I looked around for whoever's house was closer, and I saw Daisy's home directly to my left. I walked up to her doorstep and rang the doorbell before stepping away. I anticipated the chickens clucking and covered my ears.

"Oh shush," Daisy mumbles at the birds. She opens the door to see me and has a smile on her face that quickly fades to a frown. "Cam?" She says, more like a question than a welcoming.

My heart breaks into a million pieces as I let free a sob I've been holding inside. I feel Daisy wrap her arms around my upper back immediately and her warmth flood inside me. She rubs my back and squeezes me tightly as I let all my tears free. We sit on the couch for around an hour before she slips away to call Lincoln. I faintly hear her tell him what's going on, but everything is fuzzy in my mind. I curl my legs up on the couch, close my eyes, and burrow into the blanket Daisy gave me.

"Cam," I hear Lincoln's calming voice say. I open my eyes to see him run over to me and feel him engulf me in a hug. They both sit down on the couch, Lincoln to my right and Daisy to my left. I lay my head in Lincoln's lap, and Daisy curls up next to me and rubs my back. We don't speak. We don't need to. As we lay there in silence I feel all the comfort I need to in that moment without any words spoken.