I hid behind a tree. Sitting there, thinking, possibly the most dangerous weapon ever invented.
My father insisted I stayed away from my thoughts, because the good ones, soon become the bad ones. The positive, becomes the negative, and the dreaded, becomes the most feared.
The strong becomes the broken, as hope fades into disbelief. It's a place no man should dwell, your mind is your own hell.
Somehow his voice echoed through my head soundly, as if he were right here, staring me down, fiercely. Because my father always meant business, rarely was he ever harsh toned, or ill spoken.
When he did speak however, it was only two things. One: he was making a joke. Two: he was making a very important point. Which is why my mother and him never argued, not much anyway, the point is, my father was usually always right about everything, when I was not.
Like now, as I rubbed my palms aggressively on my shoulders trying to keep myself warm, I had no right blowing all of my anger out at him.
I overreacted, but as he said questions can ruin a good thing, so why did he? Have I been really that sad?
How could I myself not notice such things?
I had a feeling something would happen. It gnawed at the marrow in my bones, and sawed at my strength, lurked in broad daylight, it had no use for shadows. It wanted me to know it was coming, it was only a matter of time.
A moment where everything seemed like forever, only for it to end so fast, there was no time for me to breathe.
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Stone didn't hesitate when he found me asleep under a tree, to sit me up, and slither behind me. Pulling my hair behind my neck, as it so carelessly drowned my face in its red thickness.
I felt the softness of his lips, as he kissed my forehead subtly, and then another to my cheek. He didn't have the intention to wake me. But I moved a bit in his arms, feeling him near, I gripped his torso, as I slowly dropped my head to his chest.
I was half awake, but I was well aware of his presence. "I'm sorry I got you upset. I didn't mean it." He spoke into the cold oblivion, his hand resting on the tip of my back, his finger ran circles continuously.
"I must admit to you, though I know you won't ever remember, but I love you so very deeply Grant Everly. And I have never loved, I have never lived, I have never cared so much about someone I never knew. It is safe to say, you are my first kiss, my first love, my first...everything. As I told my cousins, you are the love of my life, because I discovered both when I met you. Now to my true confession, I am scared. I'm so frightened that I will lose you, to whatever it is that you are dreading. And my assumption is your departure, I'm afraid that I will feel the well renowned feeling of heartbreak. And I am a man of harshness, it would kill me so. Sometimes when I feel a bit worrisome I allow my mind to walk about, I let it out of its cage. But I keep my hand tightly on its leash. If I give it too much lee way it would surely devour everything, but lately I've been allowing my grip to weaken. And I've been slowly...slowly letting that leash go. Which is why I asked you those things so recklessly, because I'm losing myself. And I feel as if it is too late to take hold of my mind again, it's going to take over. And then I suppose I'll be just like the rest of the people in this world. Mad. A crazy lad with a broken heart, that is what I will be, if I keep this up. But in time my love, in time. I suppose I'll let you rest now."