@eliwest: how i met captain america and the winter soldier, a thread
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@eliwest: so, i live in hell's kitchen, alright, we got a cool devil guy, it's great
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@eliwest: now, you may be wondering, "this bitch lives in hell's kitchen, why would captain america be there?" good question, he wasn't
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@eliwest: cut to me, in brooklyn, wandering around like i've never fuckin been to Brooklyn before
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@eliwest: for those wondering, i used to live in brooklyn, which makes what i'm about to tell you really show my peak dumbass
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@eliwest: here i am, lost, with a dead phone, unable to find my way, like the beginning of a horror movie
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@eliwest: queue me asking people where i am in brooklyn and they tell me but i still have no fucking clue what's going on
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@eliwest: now, at this point, i'm just hungry, i spot a diner, and i'm a simple gal, i went in for food
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@eliwest: so i get some fries and a milkshake at 11pm bc fuck it, and then this guy just slides into the booth across from me
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@eliwest: immediately i get on my Resting Murder Face because i'm a brooklyn bitch and i will fight a hoe
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@eliwest: imagine my surprise when i see bucky fucking barnes across from me, and we're both wearing the same stupid captain america shirt (noah fence cap)
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@eliwest: and this bitch goes "are you eli, from twitter?"
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@eliwest: YES, I AM
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@eliwest: "cool, can i have some fries?"
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@eliwest: it's midnight and im sharing fries with bucky fucking barnes, and then, someone is shoving bucky down the booth seat and steve GOD DAMN rogers is there, and immediately steals a fry like a goblin
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@eliwest: so i'm sitting here like???? what the fuck????
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@eliwest: steve introduces himself, and also recognized me, and orders more fries bc they've destroyed mine at this point
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@eliwest: anyways, it is now 2am and i'm like "wait can y'all tell me how to get home" and steve's Dad instincts kick in and he's like "no, it's dark out! it's dangerous!" but a bitch gotta go home
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@eliwest: anyways, steve and bucky walked me home and i accidentally stole steve's nice leather jacket and have no current intentions of giving it back
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@eliwest: and that's it, the end, thank you all

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@username: wait, what the fuck?