Sitting in silence, that's what I do most of the time except for when I occasionally talk to myself.

I find myself clutching Bucky's dog tags from time to time. Sometimes when I'm nervous watching Ophelia train and sometimes when I feel sad and lonely in my cell.

I'm clutching them right now.

I look at them maybe more often than I should. They just give me a sense of protection which is stupid, because they're just his dog tags. He's not actually here.

Although sometimes it feels like he is.

Sometimes it feels like somebody is out there in the hall, hiding in the dark, just looking at me. It makes me a little bit uncomfortable but somehow it also feels familiar.

A thought about him being out there has popped into my mind a couple of times but if he was there, he would surely answer my calls. I occasionally call out his name at night just in case he's magically appeared from wherever he was taken to.

It's sad how hung up I am.

It all got so much worse when I realized he had left his dog tags behind.

Wait...

How come it took me a few weeks to find them?

Before I get to think about it any further a guard comes to my cell and opens the door. I stand up and he gestures for me to follow him and I do.

They've started to be less rough with me. They've realized that they don't need to watch so closely over me. I'm very obedient since I have no will to even think about disobeying them anymore.

To be fair they haven't made me do anything that bad. All I've been doing is healing people and going to the training room to support Ophelia.

If you think about it, I've done nothing but good if you push aside the fact that I've been doing the latter to help HYDRA turn her into a weapon.

We get to the training room and I'm surprised to see Ophelia already training by herself. She's always had someone to train with her.

She looks focused as she holds a knife in hand, looking at the target. I wait until she throws the knife before I call out for her. "Ophelia!" She turns around and I wave at her. She runs up to me and I frown as I see a new cut on her cheek. "Darling, you've cut your cheek," I say and place my hand on her cheek, running my thumb over the cut, healing it instantly.

My powers have improved slightly. A while back I could feel the energy draining from my body after healing a small wound but now, I don't feel a thing.

I don't know if that's good or bad, not feeling anything, I mean.

"There," I say and pull away. "All gone." She smiles which makes the ends of my mouth flicker upwards as well. "So are you training all alone?"

She shrugs, looking around. "For now." She says and grabs a gun.

I can't help the grimace from making its way to my face. A nine-year-old with a gun. That is wrong on so many levels.

I place my hand on her head and ruffle her hair and she lets out a giggle before she runs off, still smiling.

How does she manage to be so happy?

***

"Ankins?" I hear a voice say behind me.

"Yes?" I ask as I turn around to see a man wearing a lab coat. I've seen him in the lab a lot.

"We need you. It's urgent," he says and starts to leave.

I stand up and turn to look at Ophelia who's looking at me with a frown.

"I'm sorry, I have to go," I apologize and give her a sad smile which she returns.

"It's okay," she says and turns to look away.

I sigh and turn to follow the man, hurrying to the lab.

I wait impatiently at the doors as they begin to open. As I step inside and look right ahead of me I feel all air leave my lungs.

There he is.

He's alive.

He's right in front of me.

He's been here the whole time.

I bring my hand to my mouth and cover it as I let out a sound between a gasp and a sob.

I start walking towards him but a guard grabs my arm roughly, pulling me back, almost making me fall backwards.

My eyes start to fill with tears that cause my vision to blur but I can still see him as clear as ever.

"Bucky," I whisper.

"Winter Soldier," the guard corrects me from behind me. I turn to look at him, confused. The guard doesn't react in any way so I turn back to look at Bucky.

Now that I've dealt with the fact that he is right here in front of me, I start to notice all the things that have changed in him.

His hair is a bit longer than it was the last time I saw him. His hair almost reaches his chin by now.

His eyes... They're cold, lifeless. His grey eyes are fixated on the floor in front of him. The expression on his face is so foreign it frightens the hell out of me.

I take a look at his body and feel my eyes widen as I see his left arm that he didn't have a while back. The arm is made of metal with a red star painted on the shoulder.

I start taking small, slow steps towards him and get a closer look of the deep, red wounds all over his body.

What the hell happened to him?

He's not reacting in any way and it's making me feel fear like I never have before. He seems absolutely lifeless. It's frightening.

I extend my hand carefully, as slowly as I can manage. Now his head shoots up and he backs away abruptly, making me jump slightly. He's breathing heavily, chest rising and falling in a fast pace.

"Bucky," I mutter out, refusing to call him the Winter Soldier, whatever the hell that means.

He looks up at me with a frown etched on his face. I wait a few seconds for him to realize it's me.

I wait for nothing.

He doesn't remember me.

I shake my head, biting my lip as I try to blink away the tears threatening to escape my watery eyes, trying to brush off the hurt that I'm feeling and focus on him. "Bucky," I say even quieter. I take another step towards him and glance at his wounds again, clearing my throat. "Let me help you," I say as calmly as I can muster.

And then I see something.

I see something change in his eyes.

The look, it changed.

I swear I could see something change in his eyes but it all happens so quickly, I don't have the time to wrap my head around it but I do know I saw something.

I lift my hand up again. Bucky still seems hesitant but I near him anyway. I carefully walk in front of him, silent tears running down my cheeks. I place my hand gently on his shoulder which causes him to flinch but fortunately he relaxes in mere seconds.

So I close my eyes, really wanting to concentrate on healing him since his wounds were deeper and more fatal than I'm used to. Sure, my powers have improved but that still doesn't mean I can heal wounds this severe without it affecting me in some way.

I press my hand firmly on his shoulder and slowly run my palm across his arm to his wrist, making sure to heal every little cut. I then move to his other shoulder only to jump back a little as I feel the cold metal under my fingers. I already forgot about his metal arm.

I move my hands to his chest, noticing the rapid movement under my palms. I finally open my eyes and look into his, only to realize he's staring at me intently, eyes wide, lips pressed into a line, breathing heavily through his nose. He's nervous.

"It's okay," I tell him quietly. "I'm only helping you," I say and run my hands to his stomach. The deep, red wounds start their healing which makes him ball his hands into fists. The wounds are deep and some reach his insides, it's no surprise that it hurts while they're healing.

Finally, I bring my hands up to his cheeks. I press them lightly on the sides of his face. His grey, almost empty eyes stare into mine. I bite my bottom lip, hoping no more tears will escape my eyes. I gently run my thumbs over the dark circles under his eyes and I let out a quiet, almost inaudible whimper.

I feel his metal hand touching my elbow. I jump slightly, but not enough to scare him. He runs his cool fingers over my skin and my breathing starts to pick up its pace. His fingers find their way to my shoulder and I can feel his fingers hooking underneath the chain that's hanging around my neck. My eyes widen slightly as his fingers follow along the chain to my upper chest and he pulls out the dog tags, he looks at them and a crease makes its way between his brows as he frowns.

"How could they do this to you?" I ask so quietly it would be no surprise if he didn't hear me. "You were so kind and beautiful," I cry as he turns his gaze back to mine, staring at me with that frown still on his beautiful face. "And now they've ruined you," I finally let out a sob and throw my arms around his shoulders. "I'm so sorry." I cry while cradling his head to my chest, leaning my head on his.

So... What do you think?

I tried to make this chapter an emotional one, don't know how that worked out.