Bristol, England  2011

A cold January wind howled about the house. Geoff, wearing his green patterned pyjamas, sat gingerly down on the edge of the bed and carefully peeled off his socks.

"But, I can't see why we can't go to Australia, Geoff, you know I really want to see Patty on her 60th birthday and as it's my birthday two days later we could have a big party." said Frances loudly as she climbed into her side of the bed and pulled the covers up under her chin.

"Keep your voice down, Frances, ears have walls!"

" 'Walls have ears' you mean. Anyway they're on holiday next door."

Geoff eased himself down into the bed beside her and groaned, "AAhhhh." Agony was engraved upon his face. Frances ignored his scream, having heard it so often of late.

"Please Geoff, I really want to go to Australia. It would be such an adventure."

Geoff cleared his throat and swallowed deeply before replying,

"Look, Frances, we can't afford it now, I've told you; next year perhaps or the year after." Frances crept towards him in the bed, placed her hand on his chest and nestled her soft cheek against his. He knew what she was doing and usually it worked!

"But Geoffy, we haven't seen them for years. What if something awful happened and we never saw them again? She's my only sister, after all."

Her fingers gently rubbed his ear lobe.

"Sorry Frances, we just can't." replied Geoff. "We're saving for our retirement, you know that. It's not nice when you keep on like this, not nice at all."

Frances pulled away from him in annoyance swiping a tear with her finger, but he pulled her gently back towards him. He held onto her hand, resting it again on his chest.

"Don't be mad at me, you know how much I love you. We will go, but not just yet and please don't cry."

Frances sniffed and swiped another tear with her finger. "It's just so disappointing, Geoff."

"I know." he said kissing her cheek. "You'll feel better after a good night's sleep."

He released his hold on her and Frances moved back to her side of the bed saying grumpily, "Some hope of that."

As Geoff lay in bed he couldn't help worrying. He knew Frances would use her many charms to get him to change his mind. It wouldn't be easy, but he wanted to surprise her. He had tried before, but somehow she was always got there first. Once, he had tried to organise a picnic, but she had the same thought and they had ended up with two and guess which one was best? He should have known it would always be like this because even on their wedding day his best man's car had broken down on the way to church and they'd run the last leg of the journey. He'd arrived hot and bothered to find a stunningly, beautiful Frances, calmly talking to the vicar at the front. She'd turned and watched him, in quiet amusement, as he and Morris the best man galloped furiously down the aisle to meet her, fifteen minutes late and then she'd borrowed her father's handkerchief to mop his sopping brow and Geoff turned scarlet with embarrassment. It was a standing joke for quite some time.

For some reason, Frances was always two steps ahead of Geoff and it annoyed him immensely. It was almost impossible to outwit her, not that he wanted to, but a little surprise, what was the harm in that? There was something else Geoff remembered. When his brother Malcolm first caught sight of Frances, he'd very rudely said "How did you pull that lovely bird? It won't last, Geoff, so don't get too excited!"

Geoff knew what he meant. He was a plain man, nothing to look at. No good looks, no height, not much of a personality really and it had even surprised him that Frances had looked at him twice, but she had and how happy they had been all of these years. Malcolm had been madly jealous and tried to steal her from him, but Frances would have none of it and, in fact, she disliked Malcolm intensely. Geoff was the one for her she had always said so and not so long ago she had said she loved him desperately. How was that for a plain, short man with no personality?

Malcolm, for all his charm and good looks, was incapable of keeping a woman happy; twice divorced and a third marriage very rocky. It was sad, really, that a grown man was unable to be faithful. And he always married nice women and that was the saddest thing of all. With those thoughts in mind, Geoff fell painfully, into a fitful sleep.

Geoff turned slowly on the bed and groaned. His back was aching beyond belief and the alarm had already sounded; the start of yet another Monday. He opened one eye and lifting his head, peered across at Frances. He felt a twinge in his back and giving an agonised cry, flopped back against the pillow.

"Oh, Geoff, are you still suffering?" Her soft, dulcet tones reached his ears, her pretty little face full of anxiety. Even at this time of the morning she looked lovely, hair tousled, perhaps, but still quite lovely and the years had only deepened his feelings for her. She was very petite, slight of frame and only 4' 11" tall; he towered above her, being 5' 4."

"I really think you should see a doctor. This is ridiculous. Night after night, tossing and turning, neither of us can get a good sleep." Geoff pulled a face and groaned his way gently out of bed. "Can't talk now Frances, have to go to work" he said, hurrying as quickly as his back would allow, out of the bedroom door.

Geoff sat at his desk in the office re-living the awful moment in the bathroom that morning when, against all his protests, Frances had made him strip down to his underwear and stand on the bathroom scales. He had gained too much weight (was her theory) and it was affecting his back. He remembered the humiliation he'd felt as she'd read out his weight. Fourteen stones. And for the first time, as he looked down, he realised he had a very fat stomach. It was not nice, having a fat stomach, not nice at all. She was right; he would have to lose weight. She liked him cuddly, but fat? Would she still love him if he was fat? No looks, no height, no personality and fat into the bargain. Poor Frances.

'Fourteen stones, how many bags of sugar is that'? he thought to himself. Sighing with despair, he reached for his calculator and tapped out the numbers.

'Good grief! Far too many'!

Alan passed by his desk, "Morning Geoff, have a nice weekend?"

Geoff muttered something about his bad back and Alan laughed as he walked away. Alan was always laughing, took nothing seriously unless it was a matter of life and death and thankfully, that didn't happen too often in an accountant's office.

Geoff arrived home that evening to find the house empty. Frances had gone to her 'Readers Circle' and left a very precise note. "Gone out, back later, dinner in fridge." His heart sank down onto the floor. Ominous words, 'dinner in fridge' and it looked even less exciting; ham and egg salad sitting limply on a plate. Geoff said loudly "Oh, Joy and Delight!" Frances hated sarcasm, but as she wasn't there he could be as sarcastic as he liked, so just for good measure he said it once more, louder and with twice the feeling!

He prodded the salad with his fork and as it didn't fight back he ate it, hating every mouthful except the beetroot, but was careful not to eat too much as it gave him indigestion. Having finished the meal, he gave a long, loud belch, followed by a quieter one. This was something else Frances protested about, his loud belches and Geoff knew they weren't nice, not nice at all, but he couldn't help it. He was not the man he used to be and it was all to do with the passage of time. And no one escaped from the passage of time. It was like the caves at Wookey Hole only longer and darker and woe betide you should accidentally get locked inside when everyone else has gone home!

He washed up and tidied round the kitchen and then settled down peacefully into his favourite armchair and turned on the television. It was a cooking programme. They were cooking something fattening. It had to be fattening, it looked delicious. He switched channels and found a 'keep fit' programme; runners, preparing for a marathon. However did they fit that into the working week? He had trouble climbing the front steps. Mind you, they looked much younger than him. He was 62 and only had three more working years to go. He was so looking forward to retirement and spending more time with his darling Frances. He switched channels again and found a nice little murder mystery. Much better, he could get his teeth into that.

At 10.15 pm Frances arrived home. Geoff heard her car draw up outside and he walked to the front door and let her in, kissing her on the cheek as he did so.

"Have a good evening, darling?" he asked. Frances removed her coat and hung it on the coat peg in the hall. "Oh, we had a wonderful time. We discussed 'Lady Chatterley's Lover' tonight." she replied as she walked into the lounge. Geoff followed her in a state of catatonic shock.

"Lady Chatterley's Lover! Frances, you can't read that, it's not nice, not nice at all. What would Pastor say? You can't Frances, you really can't."

Frances sat down on the sofa and said, rather grandly, Geoff thought,

"Tough. I already have."

The next day, Geoff sat at his office desk and sighed deeply as he sorted through his tax returns. In two short weeks his life had changed dramatically. There was no more of Frances's legendary apple and coconut flan (the best in Bristol, it had to be said) to tickle his taste buds and very little to eat, but salad and fresh fruit. If it was true that ' you are what you eat ' he was very much afraid he would shortly turn into a lettuce and he certainly felt green. He was, he felt, clinging to normality by a very thin thread and it was not... nice.

To make matters worse, Frances had thrown away all his favourite patterned pyjamas, they were old fashioned, she said and now he had to wear plain ones, blue or burgundy. What was the world coming to? He hoped she left his y-fronts alone the very idea, because he absolutely refused to wear boxers. All this talk about the 'new' man it was beyond a joke. He was an old man. Always had been, always would be.

He heard a rustle of paper and glancing up saw his colleague Jessica, who was sitting at her nearby desk, remove the wrapper from a chocolate bar and take a large bite. His mouth watered, so he looked away. He'd promised Frances he wouldn't cheat and he could never lie to Frances. He had lost a little weight though, half a pound, to be exact. He just hoped he didn't lose his mind.

He turned back to the tax returns, but again his thoughts began to wander and it wasn't just the diet preying on his mind, he was worrying about Frances. What on earth would she turn into if she read things like 'Lady Chatterley's Lover'? his lovely, innocent, Frances. And the words she used, words like 'tough,' or 'so?' and 'virginal' it was disturbing, to say the least. She had never used those words before. It wasn't nice. Where would it all lead? He visibly shuddered and tried to turn his thoughts back to his work, but it wasn't easy.

When Geoff arrived home that evening, Frances was hovering in the hall waiting for him.

"Right then, Geoffrey Pocock, come this way" she said as she grabbed his hand and pulled him up the stairs. In all innocence he said,

"I'm not in the mood right now, Frances." Frances ignored his remark and continued to pull him up the stairs and push him into the bedroom.

"Look, it's disgusting!"

Geoff looked. It was disgusting. It was their bed, falling apart with great gaping holes in the foam beneath the frayed red satin material, especially on his side of the bed.

"It's the bed making your back ache, we should have guessed. I stripped the bed today and took the opportunity to have a good look at the mattress." She pointed at the bed as Geoffrey bent carefully forward and peered into the deep, dark recesses.

"There could be a family of mice in there." said Frances.

Geoff started back in alarm and looked straight into her lovely green eyes.

"There isn't, is there?"

"No, but there could be. This means, Geoffrey Pocock, we have to buy a new bed and not before time."

Geoff shook his head in horror. "No, Frances, not now. We can't afford it at the moment. Sorry love, it's just not possible, Christmas was very expensive this year. I'll get some foam and I'll repair it."

"Oh, no you won't."

"Yes, I will and I'll do a nice job." Geoff could see Frances wasn't about to give in and he tried to change the subject.

"What's for tea, darling? I've been looking forward to my nice salad all day."

It was a terrible lie and it didn't work. The look of dogged determination on her face, Geoff had seen many times before over the years and he knew what he was up against.

"You know what the visiting Evangelist said recently in Church, he said if a man loves his wife and she wants a new carpet, he should buy her a new carpet." she said firmly.

"But we've replaced all the carpets."

"You're missing the point. It's the principle, not the carpet. I mean, if you love me you buy me a new bed and it isn't just for me is it, it's for you as well. They do say you should buy a new bed every ten years."

"Perhaps you should ask 'them' to buy you a new bed then Frances, seeing as 'they' are so interested!" said Geoff under his breath.

Almost immediately, Geoff knew his mistake. Frances turned red and she did what she always did when she was angry, she bristled and shook her shoulders, saying,

"I heard that, you.......you...... ooh." and with those words, she flounced out of the bedroom and Geoff knew he had made a big mistake.

They continued the discussion during the evening, until finally when they climbed into the bed that night Geoff put his foot down with a very firm hand.

"Frances, once and for all, we are not buying a new bed and that's final."

* * * * * * * * * *

The new bed arrived two weeks later and on Monday night, when Geoff arrived home, there was Frances smiling up at him and urging him to "come and see the new bed." Up the stairs they went, Geoff following Frances as usual. Flinging open the bedroom door with a certain flourish, Frances pulled Geoff inside the room and there it was, a beautiful new bed the cream and silver threads of the mattress, shining out and declaring "A Bed of Quality."

Frances, eyes twinkling like midnight stars said "It's so wonderful Geoff, I've laid on it. It feels like a dream. This will put paid to your back troubles. I'll make it up in a minute, but I wanted you to see it first. Isn't it fabulous?" Her hands lovingly smoothed the silky fabric of the mattress and she turned smiling sweetly towards Geoff, looking for his approval.

"Well, I should think so, it cost enough!" he replied.

"Come and lie down Geoffy and try it."

Frances, still all smiles, walked around to her side of the bed and climbed on and Geoff lay on his side gingerly, of course, as his back was still tender. He eased himself into his usual position and sank into the softly supporting mattress. He didn't mean to like it quite so much, but he couldn't help it. It was truly lovely, just as she'd said. In a state of complete bliss, he closed his eyes and sighed.

"Ooh Frances, I see what you mean. It's nice, very, very nice."

His whole body relaxed and he started to drift peacefully away until Frances made him jump as she sprang from the bed crying "the apple flan" and flew out of the bedroom and down the stairs. Apple flan! For weeks on end there had been no sign of apple and coconut flan and at the thought of it, he sprang all too quickly from the bed and followed Frances, groaning loudly as he did so, slowly down the stairs.

After their meal, which consisted of fish, mashed potatoes and three vegetables, Frances served them both a large slice of apple flan each, with hot, creamy, yellow, home-made custard.

"Don't expect this too often, though Geoff, it's a little treat, I thought you deserved it for buying the bed. You're still on the diet."

Even though the horrible word 'diet' made him shudder, he sat at the dining room table in a euphoric state and when they went to bed that night those feelings continued. He slept extremely well on the new bed and felt refreshed and happy in the morning.

Frances, however, woke feeling the worse for wear. The new mattress had given her back-ache and it did not improve as the days went by. By the end of the third week of the new bed while Geoff was feeling like his old self, poor Frances was in agony and made a visit to the doctor.

One evening, after they had eaten their evening meal (more salad) they stood in silent disappointment, in their bedroom inspecting the new bed. Frances had pulled the sheets away and was touching the mattress.

"I think it's these lumps Geoff, you see the bed is very deeply stitched and these lumps are hard. When I lie down they feel like a hard fist between my shoulder blades and in the base of my spine, you do see what I mean?"

Geoff looked at Frances wondering how they could sort this out and hoped she didn't mention another new mattress. Would his problems never end?

"They won't take the bed back Frances, I rang them up today. And they said this does happen now and then, a person having trouble with a new bed. They said it's the filling in the mattress that does it, but I can't understand why it affects you, but not me?"

"Well, Geoff, we're all different aren't we? Anyone would think," she added angrily "Anyone would think I'm doing this on purpose! I'm bitterly disappointed too and I'm getting to dread going to bed at night the pain is so bad. Bed is supposed to be a safe place, not a place of torture!"

"Sorry, darling, it's just......." Geoff sighed deeply and taking Frances in his arms, pulled her gently towards him, but she cried out in pain.

He smoothed her hair with his hand and cupped her face.

"Ah, love, we'll sort it out, I promise." She placed her arms around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder.

"That stupid bed's really getting me down. If anyone had told me a person could suffer so much pain over a new bed I wouldn't have believed it." She started to cry, softly. Tears ran slowly down her face.

Geoff had meant to say, he was not going to get another mattress or anything else, but as soon as he saw her tears he relented. The trouble being, he couldn't bear to see her cry and truth to say, she had not cried much during their married life. She was happy and he kept her happy, so what was there to cry about?

"What shall we do Frances? I can't really afford another mattress right now. We're broke."

"Well," said Frances looking pleadingly up into his eyes,

"Marianne suggested a mattress topper, you can buy them from Argos, but the most expensive ones are the best. They've bought one for their bed. It's like sleeping in a downy swan's nest, she said."

Geoff gritted his teeth and asked "And how much does this mattress topper cost, Frances?"

"About £75.00."

"What! £75.00! when I've just paid out goodness knows what for that ruddy bed."

Frances pulled herself away from him.

"Don't you swear, Geoffrey Pocock."

"If you heard the things they say in my office Frances, you wouldn't think that was swearing and anyway I haven't got seventy five pence, let alone £75.00. What do you think I am a magician? Or perhaps.............." he rubbed his chin "Perhaps Malcolm could lend us the money?"

"Over my dead body you'll borrow from Malcolm! Leave him out of it, he's despicable."

"Oh, dag nab it!" said Geoff.

"You're in one of your moods, Geoff, I can tell and anyway there was plenty of money in our joint account when I last looked so what have you done with it? You're

usually so good with money."

"Um........I.........um..........I put it into our retirement fund."

"And you didn't leave any emergency money behind? That was stupid of you,

really stupid." He saw tears spring to her eyes again as she hurried from the bedroom and down the stairs. He sighed deeply and sitting down on the bed, began to pray for a miracle.

Frances' bag was lying near the bed and as he left the bedroom, he accidentally kicked it over. A book fell out onto the carpet. He reached down and picked it up; the dreaded 'Lady Chatterley's Lover'. His heart pounded in his body and feeling truly sinful, he opened the first page. His eyebrows raised. He turned more pages and to his complete surprise, certain sentences were obliterated with red pen and words, here and there, were completely struck through. So she hadn't read the bad words after all. Her copy was completely censored! He smiled and laughed out loud, "Sneaky little woman." Geoff felt happier now he knew her secret. She was still his sweet little Frances, nothing to worry about there, but he still had several other problems to overcome.

On leaving the office on Friday night, Geoff bumped into Alan in the car park, as their cars were parked next to one another. As Alan unlocked his black jaguar he said,

"You all right Geoff? You've been very quiet today, not your usual perky self, is your back still bothering you?"

"No, that's better thanks. It's all the other stuff."

"Frances not ill is she?"

"No, she's fine, it's just finances, that sort of thing." Geoff felt completely deflated and he knew his feelings showed on his face.

"Oh, if that's all Geoff, I could lend you some money. Not thousands is it? Perhaps I may change my mind." Alan laughed.

"No. Just seventy five pounds. We've got to buy a mattress topper. Frances is having trouble with the new mattress."

Alan's hand flew to the inside pocket of his immaculate grey suit and drew out a brown wallet.

"Well, there you are." he said pulling notes from the wallet and handing them to Geoff.

"No rush to pay it back".

"No, Alan, I couldn't. It wouldn't be right". Geoff pushed Alan's hand away.

"Look Geoff, when we came back from Canada you were a great help to me and Philip. He was only saying the other day 'Geoff is one of the good guys' and believe you me, coming from my bro, that's really something and you know I can afford it, so what's the problem? We can't let Frances suffer unnecessarily can we? She was very good to us to." Alan's eyes were twinkling with fun; he was enjoying the conversation. He was also one of the good guys, thought Geoff.

"We owe you big time Geoff, you know that. All the financial advice you gave us has paid dividends. You're a good friend, now please take the money, I'm only too happy to help."

Geoff thoughts flew back to the time when two grieving lads arrived from Canada with £1.25 million each, their father having made a fortune in their grandfather's business. Sadly, their parents had died eight months apart before they could return home to Bristol, but fortunately for the lads, they moved into the house next door to Geoff and Frances who helped them to adjust and gave them the love and support they needed. It was a very sad time, but gradually they pieced their lives back together. Geoff and Frances grew very fond of Alan and Philip.

Geoff's thoughts returned to the car park. Alan was pressing the money back at Geoff

"Take it, please." And finally, Geoff took it.

"Thanks Alan, it's nice of you. I'll pay it back within the next couple of months."

Alan slapped him gently on the back saying, rather seriously for Alan, "No hurry at all and it's true what they say Geoff, what goes round comes round." Then he climbed into his car and was away before Geoff could say another word. As Geoff stared down at the money in his hand, he said quietly and with all sincerity,

'Thanks Lord, that's the quickest answer I've ever had.'

The mattress topper was chosen, ordered, delivered and used and it worked very well for Frances. She could feel no more lumps or bumps and there were no more aching backs! Seventh Heaven, Bliss, Cloud Nine!

Several days later, Frances and Geoff were sitting in the dining room finishing their evening meal. Geoff was listening to his favourite CD of classical music, the 1812 overture to be precise, humming along loudly and conducting with his fork. Frances was sitting rather more quietly than usual and she was chasing the food around her plate, in time to the music. She usually talked to him about her day and as she was so quiet, Geoff was a little concerned. He looked across the table at her and asked,

"Off to reader's circle tonight then Frances?"

"No, I'm not in the mood tonight." she replied. Then she hurriedly got up and took her plate into the kitchen, half the food still on it, uneaten. Geoff was quite worried by now and leaving his salad, followed her into the kitchen. He found her sobbing, uncontrollably, at the kitchen sink and his stomach turned over with fright. He went to her and pulled her gently into his arms.

"Oh darling, whatever is it?"

At this she sobbed even louder and tried to push him away, but he was stronger and held her tightly so she could hardly move.

"Don't Frances, don't. Just tell me what it is."

Her tears were coming thick and fast and again she tried to push him away, but still he held her tightly.

"I wanted to see Patty on her birthday and now it's too late." Her face was streaming with tears and it tugged at Geoff's heart strings, it was truly unbearable to see Frances so upset and although he tried not to, he blurted out the secret which he had kept for so long.

"Frances, please don't upset yourself," he said as he wiped her tears with his thumb.

"We aren't going to Australia, but Patty and Graham are coming here to see us, I've paid for their tickets and they're arriving tomorrow."

The secret was out and Geoff was breathless to think of it, but he still had several secrets, which he hoped she wouldn't find out about. There was to be a party for Frances and her sister this weekend, all their family and friends would be there. If that secret was let out, there was still the gold watch and the diamond ear rings which he had bought for her some time ago. And if those were found out, (and it was always a possibility with Frances) there was also the announcement at the party. Marianne, their only child was finally expecting a baby, after twelve years of trying and was to tell everyone that evening. Frances longed to be a grandmother and would be 'over the moon with sixpence'. How was that for surprises!

"Oh Geoffy, darling," said Frances as she cuddled up to him and rubbed his cheek with her fingers, "I knew you wouldn't let me down, I think you're wonderful!" She looked up at him with an adoring look on her face and then said softly "How about an early night?"

And Geoff, being Geoff, rather stupidly said,

"But we haven't done the washing up yet, Frances."

Frances smiled coyly up at him.

"So?" she said.

Geoff looked down at his beautiful wife, the complete love of his life, his eyes shining with anticipation. There had been no 'early' nights for quite some time and it was an exciting prospect. Bad backs and lumpy mattresses were not conducive to 'early' nights. She caught his hand and led him out of the kitchen, switching off the lights, the CD player and finally, locking the front door. She led him up the stairs, still holding his hand and as Geoff followed her, his four foot eleven of ' Heaven ', he couldn't help smiling. Walls had ears, he had always thought so, but he hoped against hope that they didn't have eyes!

THE END