Chapter 29

I never cared about Valentine's Day because I was never really lonely in terms of a relationship. I didn't really like anyone and I didn't long for a relationship, unlike most of my peers. Now that I pay attention, I see it- the uncomfortable stance of single people as couples hold each other, the way two friends glance at each other when a loving pair walks by, and even the groans when couples share a kiss before separating. I can't believe I was completely oblivious to this these past few years.

This year seems different. I guess, in a way, I want to be in a relationship. In art, it was obvious that Mr. Komodo would've rather been with his significant other because he had us painting hearts and flowers while he sat at his desk and texted. US History, American Literature, and Algebra 2 were no different.

 As I walked into the gymnasium, I groaned, remembering the coach telling us that he was going to be absent today because he was taking his wife on a romantic weekend getaway, not only for Valentine's Day, but for their upcoming anniversary as well. But his absence meant that a substitute would be taking his place, and students will definitely be skipping this class. I swore under my breath when I saw Ronnie. I assumed he'd be the first one to go straight out of the double doors in the front of the building.

Ronnie began approaching me and I sighed, remembering what Noah told me. But the idea of Ronnie liking me is completely insane. I can understand a bit of teasing, but full on disrespecting my late father? Now that's going too far. It's venturing into the realm of verbal assault if you ask me.

"Yes, Ronnie?" I asked, trying to sound polite.

"Where's your boyfriend?" he inquired, glancing behind me.

"He isn't my boyfriend. And he's obviously not here yet, so what do you want?" I muttered as I began walking towards the bleachers.

"So is he taking his pills?" he snorted.

"What's your problem?" I asked, turning around. Clutching the straps of my bag, I stared at him. "I don't even understand why you're so mean to me, but Noah? What has he done to you? What have I done to you? What has anyone done to you, Ronnie?"

He stared at me with an annoyed look on his face. "Aren't you guys supposed to be spending this class together? It is Valentine's Day, you know?" he retorted, blowing off my statement.

"He isn't my boyfriend," I told him, shaking my head. I'm pretty sure Noah would get uncomfortable at simply mentioning the words. "And don't disregard me like that."

"You sure act like he's your boyfriend," he rejoined, shrugging as he stared at me with a hard look on his face.

"I don't think it's any of your business how I act," I countered. He continued to stare at me and I raised my shoulders. I was anticipating an argument. "What?"

Catching me off guard, he took a swift step forward, eliminating the space between us. Before he could lean down and kiss me (or whatever he was planning to do), I let out a shriek and jumped back, falling over my own feet. I drew attention from the small group of students who actually bothered to come to class. I began crawling backwards away from Ronnie. He stared at me with an expression I couldn't quite read plastered on his face.

Once I was five feet away, I got up and ran towards the door. As I was about to open it, someone else did and I went charging into them. We both tumbled to the floor. "Oh gosh," I repeated as I fell onto the ground. I sat up and realized that the person who opened the door was Noah; like me, he was sitting up with a ticked off look on his face.

"Is there any reason why you tackled me like a football player?" he asked, standing up. Surprisingly, he extended his hand and helped me up.

"I-I, uh, Ronnie...to kiss me, tried, failure," I stuttered, looking around. I probably looked like an idiot. I definitely sounded like one. 

"What?" Noah asked, confused.

"Ronnie, he tried to kiss me," I explained as I threw my bag over my shoulders.

"Oh," Noah muttered, probably unsure of what to say. "Was it a good kiss?"

"No, you idiot! I didn't let him kiss me! He tried to kiss me!" I retorted, leaning forward and putting my hands on my knees. "Oh boy, that was terrible."

"Was he flirting with you?" Noah inquired.

"No! It was...it was weird. One minute, he was talking about you and me, and the next he tried to attack me with his lips," I shook my head.

"You and me?" he asked curiously.

"Yeah, he asked where you were and...some other stuff," I told him, shaking my head and waving my hand dismissively.

"Some other stuff?" he pressed.

"You wouldn't like it," I told him, shaking my head as I stood up. He nodded his head as if telling me to speak and I sighed. "Relationship stuff," I dully explained. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and I sighed. "He thought you were my boyfriend," I told him.

He averted his gaze and I nodded vigorously, pointing to him. "See? I knew you'd get all uncomfortable."

"I'm not uncomfortable; it's just...never mind," he shrugged, "But he just tried to kiss you? Out of nowhere?"

"Yes! I'm pretty sure I just said that," I told him.

"Sorry, I was thinking," he shook his head. "Are you going to go back?"

"No! There's no point in going back either! The substitutes dozing off at the gym teacher's desk and there are about six people in there," I told him. "Are you going?" I added as an afterthought.

He bit his lip in thought before shrugging and joining me as I began walking towards the courtyard. I wish I had the nerve to hold his hand. You had the nerve to tell him that you like him. Yeah, but that's different. I had friends there to cushion my fall. Now, if I just hold his hand, he'd probably shake it off and make an excuse as to why he has to go back to the gymnasium.

"So...how have you been?" I asked him. We haven't talked much during class and I don't have my phone, not like we texted every day when I did.

"Good, I ran five miles yesterday," he told me. I cringed at the idea of running that much.

"Did you? That sounds...fun," I muttered unenthusiastically. He chuckled as he shoved his hands in his pockets. Seniors were eating lunch at this time, many of them were scattered around the courtyard with various fast food wrappers. I'm surprised a teacher isn't out here- students aren't allowed to leave school grounds. Of course, it happens often (example- me and Marissa) but there's usually a teacher that watches over students here.

"It was fun. Running gives me time to think," he shrugged.

"Running gives me cramps and pain," I replied as I plopped down at a picnic table. He sat on the other side, rolling his eyes.

"I guess running isn't for everyone. What do you do to think?" he inquired as he fiddled with his hands over the table.

"Look at you, making conversation." I smirked, earning a glare from him. "To think, I usually sit alone and draw, or write, or read."

"I like reading," he nodded.

"Oh really? I didn't know," I sarcastically retorted.

"Shut up, okay? I'm trying to make conversation," he responded.

"Okay, okay, my bad," I told him, holding up my hands. "So when are you going to play that song on the guitar for me?"

"Never," he replied.

"Why not? Can you at least tell me the song title?" I pressed.

"Nope," he shot me down.

"Why not?" I whined.

"It's girly," he admitted.

"Girly like Barbie Girl or girly like a love song?" I asked him. His nose wrinkled slightly and I smirked. "You're learning a love song!"

"Shut up, it has a catchy tune," he admitted.

"Okay, will you tell me if I guess it right?" I asked him, leaning forward excitedly.

Looking at me for a minute, he sighed. "Take your best shot."

"Uh, do I know it?" I asked him. He nodded. "Is it old?"

"It's pretty recent," he told me as he drew circles on the table. "You get one shot."

I pursed my lips. "If I guess it right, will you play it for me?"

"Nope," he replied.

"Come on, I'll play you a song on my piano," I told him.

"As much as I'd love to hear you mess up a beautiful song on the piano, I'm going to have to pass," he rejoined.

"You're such a loser," I muttered, rolling my eyes.

"And you're a dork," he responded. "Now are you going to guess or aren't you?"

"I have one guess. Is it—?" he simply cut me off.

"Eh! No, you're wrong," he told me before I could even guess, imitating a loud and irritating buzzer.

"You don't even know what I was going to say!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, well, you're not going to get it," he shrugged.

"If I guess it right, you're going to play the song for me," I demanded. He simply rolled his eyes.

"Only if you play a song on the piano for me," he retorted.

<<>><<>>

"And he has the cutest idea for a date and I'm so excited!" Marissa continued to rant. I swear I saw Noah dozing off beside me but I didn't bother to look. He'd probably make a big deal and call me a creep for staring at him. Instead, I nodded at Marissa's words. I managed to get Noah to sit with us to endure Marissa's excited talk about her and Eric's upcoming date, which he had been planning since the end of January.

"That's amazing," I told her with a nod.

"I know! I love him so much!" she squealed.

I smiled at her before going back to my meal. It fell silent as Marissa grinned at her sandwich, thinking about how her date with Eric will play out. The only thing I could hear was the loud cafeteria, well, that and Noah's tapping. I slowly tuned into the tapping of Noah's fingers. I felt a large grin spread across my face as I recognized the beat. I looked up at him. He quirked an eyebrow as he slowly lowered his apple from his mouth.

"All of Me by John Legend," I proudly identified.

Noah furrowed his eyebrows before shaking his head. "Nope."

I stared at him in confusion. Marissa slowly made her way into the conversation. "Hey! Isn't that the song you've been playing on your guitar lately, Noah? Jeez, that has gotten annoying. Every time I walk to the bathroom, it's all I hear through the walls. Don't you know any other songs?" she squealed loudly as she dropped her sandwich. She quickly placed her hand under the table, holding her calf. "Noah! Why would you kick me? That's considered abuse!"

I grinned in satisfaction while I stared at Noah, who had an annoyed look on his face as he glared at his sister. "You know what this means."

"Actually, I don't," Marissa muttered as she rubbed her leg.

"Well, Marissa, Noah and I had a deal. If I guessed the song he learned on his guitar, then he'd play it for me. And I'd play him a song on the piano," I shrugged. Noah grumbled under his breath as he shoved his tray, which was filled with a weird beef stew like substance, to the middle of the table.

"I'm not doing it," he informed me.

"What? No! We had an agreement," I retorted.

"Well, you're grounded anyway, and today was the only day I was willing to actually play the song," he explained.

"You never said that!" I responded.

"I just did, didn't I?" he spat.

"You're such a cheater!" I retorted.

"Maybe you shouldn't make deals while you're grounded," he replied.

I glared at him before sitting back in my seat. What a jerk.

<<>><<>>

I thought long and hard about how Noah managed to evade our bet, so the moment I stepped out of physics, I hauled it to the parking lot. Noah was just about to get into his car when I stopped him by shouting his name. With a sigh, he stood up, leaning on the side of his car with an impatient look on his face.

"You're not the only one who found a loophole," I told him with a smirk on my lips.

"What?" he asked.

"I can't go out, but that doesn't mean that I can't have friends over," I told him. "So I'm inviting you to my house."

"Is Marissa coming?" Noah asked curiously after a few moments. His hands were shoved into his pockets.

"No, Marissa has that date with Eric," I told him.

"What about my guitar?" he asked.

"What about it?" I responded.

"I haven't learned righty guitar," he retorted.

I guess he'll have to go to his house and get it. That'll buy me some time to convince my mom not to embarrass me. "Fine, but you have to come to my house."

"Okay, okay, fine," he muttered as he raised his hands up innocently. I smirked as I walked towards my car, grinning once I sat down in the front seat.

You're good, Kennedy.   

<<>><<>> 

"Mom!" I called as I got in the house. She didn't respond so I jogged up the stairs, walking into her room. She was standing in the mirror with a pretty red dress on. "Uh, what's the dress for?"

"Your aunt and I are going out," she told me with a smile. "We're celebrating the fact that she found a house."

"So you're wearing a dress?" I asked. I haven't seen my mother in a dress since my father's funeral.

"Well, we're going out after that, too," my mom told me.

I stared at her. "Going out?" I asked.

"Yes, we're going to a bar," she nodded.

I continued to stare at her. "A bar?" I continued to question as I leaned against her closet door, watching as she applied eyeliner in the mirror.

"Yes, a bar," my mom responded. "I'm leaving in a few minutes."

I can't imagine her with any guy other than my father. A car honked outside and my mother jogged towards me with a pair of heels in her hand. She kissed my cheek. "I love you. I'll see you later!"

I watched her as she jogged down the steps, putting her heels on once she reached the bottom. I followed her slowly, reaching the door when she was getting into my aunt's car. They drove off down the street and I gazed as they turned the corner. I see why she didn't tell me about this earlier in the week. I would've made her so guilty that she wouldn't have gone. I've been doing it for the last few months. My mother's few friends would insist that she should go out and have a drink, but I knew that there was a possibility that there would be a guy that my mother would start to like. And I don't think I can accept it. But then again, I don't really have to. I'll be graduating next year and I'll be off to college, and my mom can be with whoever she wants without having to worry about my opinion.

A few weeks after my seventeenth birthday, my mother told me that my father would've wanted her to be happy. She said that they'd had this conversation many times before, the one about what would happen if one of them was to die. I still can't accept the idea of my mother being with another man so easily. As I stared out at the street, the familiar red car parked in front of my house and I sighed, tucking my emotions away.

Noah came walking up the pathway with his guitar case around his back. "Were you just going to stand there until I showed up?" he asked.

"No, my mom, she just left," I nodded towards the corner she disappeared around before letting Noah into the house, closing the door behind him.

It was good that he decided to go get his guitar. I don't know what would've happened if my mom was going to leave and Noah showed up at the doorstep only moments before. She'd probably make him go home, telling me that there's no way we can be alone together. As I locked the door, I led him towards the music room where my piano was. When he entered, he took a moment to admire the shelves of albums and CDs. My father even had records and a record player on its own separate table. I never bothered to touch those, mainly because I wasn't interested in music from the 1960's.

"Your father really liked music," he noted as he looked at the brass instruments that lined the walls.

"Yeah, he did," I shrugged as I sat down at the piano bench.

"You can go first," I told him with a smirk.

"Uh, no thanks, you can go first," he muttered as he patted the grand piano. I glared at him before opening my notebook, pushing it towards him.

"Choose a song, any song," I responded. "It's three pages long."

"Why didn't you put it in alphabetical order?" he asked me as he flipped through the pages, going to the last before flipping back to the first.  

"My bad, I should've looked into the future to see what songs I was going to learn and then composed my list alphabetically. I apologize," I retorted.

"No need to be rude," he muttered as he kept looking. "You know all of these songs?"

"Some I know better than others," I shrugged. "I only know a few classical songs by heart. I learned most of those in piano class."

"This one," he muttered as he pointed to a song. When he saw that I wasn't going to move from my spot on the bench, he sighed and moved closer with his finger pointing to the song.  

"Ah, good choice. That song is still fresh in my mind," I replied as I reached into my folder, which was beside the piano, and grabbed the sheet music. I aligned it along the piano in order. I put my hands on the first few notes before I stopped. "I don't have to sing, do I?"

He smirked. "Anyone can play instrumental."

"So you're going to sing, too?" I asked him and he sighed.

"I can't hit the high notes," he muttered. "But sure, I'll sing."

I nodded as I began playing the song, letting the familiar intro of Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol fill in for the silence. Noah was quiet as I played and I didn't look at him. Instead, I focused on not messing up because that'd be embarrassing. I managed to get through the song without making any terrible mistakes. At one point, I looked away from the sheet music and I forget where I was, but I managed to find it in time.

Once I finished, I sighed. "That was worse than performing in front of a crowd."

"That was great," he told me and I sighed heavily. "Definitely better than me."

"Wow, compliments from the great Noah?" I muttered, earning a glare in response. I chuckled and smiled at him. "Thanks."

"Shut up," he murmured as he held his guitar in his hands, running his hands along the neck of the guitar before he grabbed a pick from his pocket. "Don't laugh at me."

"I wouldn't dream of it," I told him.

Despite his nervousness, his playing was confident and strong. I felt a well of nerves form inside of my stomach when he started singing. I tried my best not to grin like an idiot as he continued singing, glancing up at me occasionally to see that I was listening. At one point, I gave him a cheesy smile and two thumbs up and he rolled his eyes but couldn't hide the smile that made its way to his face. Once he finished playing, he put his guitar down and let out a sigh.

"That was awesome," I told him.

"A compliment from you? That means absolutely nothing," he told me. I glared at him, shaking my head.

"Obviously it does. You wouldn't have been so nervous to play in front of me if it didn't," I retorted, mentally high fiving myself for that five star comeback.

"No, I just don't like playing in front of people," he responded rather hastily. And yet another blow to my nearly nonexistent ego.

"Oh really? So you just scream the song lyrics at home but you're scared to play in front of people?" I asked him with a smirk. He took a minute too long to respond and I grinned in satisfaction. "I thought so."

"Don't be so cocky," he retorted. "You're the one that made out with Ronnie."

"No I didn't!" I groaned. "He tried to kiss me!"

"Sure he did," Noah drawled as he put his guitar back in its case.

"Why does it matter to you?" I asked him, watching as he leaned over to close his guitar case.

"It doesn't," he told me as he zipped up the case.

As I followed him to the living room, I kept thinking about my mom and how she's probably going to meet a charming guy at the bar who she'll use to try and replace my father. Once we reached the living room, I remembered something. "Wait a sec. Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure," Noah told me warily.

"Put that down and come upstairs," I told him. Catching the unsure look on his face, I rolled my eyes. "I need to find something really quickly."

"And you need my help with what?" he muttered as he followed me up the steps.

"Call my phone," I told him. With a sigh, he unlocked his phone and went to his contacts. Finding my contact, he clicked call. "Wow, you actually bothered to save me as a contact."

"And if you don't shut up, I'll be deleting it in a moment," he replied.

"Is that supposed to be a threat?" I asked him as I entered my mom's room, listening for my familiar ringtone.

"Yeah, I guess," he shrugged. I walked towards my mom's dresser, pressing my ear to each drawer. I walked over to her bedside table, noticing a picture of my father and my mom. I stared at it for a few moments. "Are you going to look for your phone?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry," I muttered as I opened her drawer. I noticed my phone sitting there. I grabbed it, noticing that it was turned off. It's probably dead. How stupid of me to think that it'd be charged after six and a half days? At least I got Noah to stay a few moments more. "Got it!" I exclaimed as I stood up, walking towards the doorway where Noah stood.

Once we arrived in the living room, I turned on the television, putting on the guide to see what shows were on. I wanted to groan when I saw that it was basically all romance movies, and all Valentines special of every show- even Spongebob. I glanced at Noah to see he was staring at me with a flat look on his face. "Really? That's what you're going to do? Sit on the couch and watch television?"

"Please, I'm lucky. You're going to go home and Marissa's going to be blasting music as she gets ready for her date," I told him with a smirk on my lips.

"Don't remind me," he muttered.

"You're welcome to stay here and watch a movie with me," I daringly suggested.

Surprising me, he placed his guitar on the love seat and dropped down on the couch I was on. He sat on the furthest cushion away from me. "Only because I'm really not in the mood to drive home and I don't want to deal with Marissa right now."

"Lying to yourself is okay with me," I shrugged. "Act like I'm not amazing."

"You're not amazing," he remarked.

"Because I'm fabulous?" I asked with a grin.

"No, because you're...weird," he responded.

"Ouch, I'm not really offended," I told him. "Now let's choose a movie."

"I'm not watching any mushy romance," he reminded me.

"Okay, PS, I Love You it is," I told him as I changed the channel. "Or we can watch something with more action, on one condition."

"No," he told me.

"So you'll watch PS, I Love You?" I asked him.

"Yes, I'll watch anything to avoid your creepy deals," he told me.

"Creepy? What do you mean creepy?" I inquired, my mouth opening slightly in shock.

"First you get unlimited hugs from me. And now you've managed to get me to come to your house, and now I bet you're going to suggest something weird like...like make me eat a raw hotdog," he told me.

"Eat a raw hotdog?" I asked. "I was going to make you say that I'm awesome, but now that you mention it—," he cut me off.

"I'm awesome," he exclaimed.

"No, you have to say 'Kenna is awesome'; there are no loopholes," I told him.

"Kennedy is awesome," he said through gritted teeth.

"Huh? I didn't hear you," I placed my hand by my ear.

"I'm not saying it again," he responded with an annoyed look on his face.

"Fine with me- Gerard Butler is shirtless in this movie," I told him with a nod as I looked at the television.

"Kennedy is awesome," he repeated a bit louder.

I smirked at him. "Why don't you call me Kenna?"

"I like the name Kennedy," he told me. "But I hate lying."

"Remember, Noah, you're still ticklish," I warned him.

<<>><<>>

"This movie is so stupid," Noah muttered as I turned up the volume, trying to mute out his commentary. "They're practically flying!"

"They're long jumping!" I retorted.

"Last time I checked, vampires don't long jump. And they don't sparkle," he told me.

"Well, hot vampires do," I responded.

"He's so pale!" he complained. I stared at him for a moment until he realized that he was just as pale. "Yeah, but the difference is that I actually go out into the sun, and I don't sparkle when I do!"

"Edward is beautiful and I don't care what you think," I told him.

"Apparently you like pale guys," he muttered under his breath.

"Shut up!" I snapped and he innocently held up his hands. "And stop making commentary or I'll rip out your liver!"

"You're going to make me eat that like a raw hot dog?" he asked me and I shot him a glare, holding back a laugh.

We continued watching the movie and about twenty or so minutes later, Noah made a stupid comment about how they should've let Bella die at the Ballet Studio. I began scooting closer to him with my fingers prepared to tickle him, and he tried to push me away with the pillow he was using to protect his ribs. I grabbed it from his hands and let it fall to the floor. He was cowering in the corner of the couch, trying to protect his sides.

I began tickling him, listening as he tried to plead with me to stop. He began squirming as he tried to get my hands off of his sides but I wouldn't let him. I laughed evilly as his laughter slowly formed into groans of pain. I chuckled wildly as I continued to tickle him.

"Stop," he groaned in pain as he slowly gave up fighting me. I smirked as I stopped, staring at him. He turned to glare at me and I slowly began to realize how close we were. I took in a large intake of breath as I stared into his blue eyes, blinking my own a few times until I was sure that this was actually happening. I felt the urge to kiss him and I knew that I shouldn't. I knew that things were just starting to get better since my confession but I couldn't find it in me to back up, mainly because his breath tickled my cheeks and his eyes were actually staring into mine, which is a rare occurrence with Noah.

Slowly and cautiously, I began moving forward, looking between his lips and his eyes. It's like his eyes were teasing me and taunting me, as if telling me to do it, but if I do, we'd go another week without talking. And I don't want to go another week without talking. As I was weighing which was more important (our friendship or my unrequited crush on Noah), he caught me by surprise by brushing a strand of hair out of my face, placing it behind my ear. That was enough of an answer for me because I immediately tilted my head and leaned in to kiss him.

My hands tangled in his hair as his rested on the side of my face and on my neck. We were positioned awkwardly- he was sitting forward on the couch and I was sitting cross-legged beside him. But I couldn't ask for anything better. As our mouths moved together, I began thinking of the repercussions of this kiss. Maybe it'll be different this time, because now I know that he wasn't frozen in thought as I was leaning in to kiss him. He made the move to brush the hair out of my face, which initiated the actual kiss.

My stomach burned with happiness and I wanted to sigh. This is perfect. If happiness had a physical definition, this is it. Noah is perfect to me and I don't think he knows it. And this kiss should help me determine whether or not he likes me, but it's simply not that easy. But I need to know. I can't keep doing this to myself- going on like this, without knowing for certain, isn't helping me at all. And I need to take some advice from Floyd if Noah doesn't tell me how he feels, how he truly feels.

Once we pulled apart for air, I didn't bother moving away from him. Instead, I breathed raggedly and stared at my lap where my hands were now resting. "Are you going to get in your car and peel out of the driveway?" he inquired quietly.

"I'm home already, you idiot," I told him in response. He chuckled quietly. "And you're the one that freaks out."

"Well, I've gotten used to you surprising me," he responded.

"Are you going to ignore me for another week or what?" I asked him as I sat back on the cushion beside him.

"No," he replied after a moment of silence.

"Are we going to act like this never happened?" I inquired as I continued to stare at my lap.

"I don't know," he answered honestly.

"Well, I have my reason for kissing you," I explained. "What's yours?"

"I-It was the heat of the moment, Kennedy," he responded and I felt my heart drop into my stomach. I shouldn't have expected him to confess that he likes me too but I couldn't help but hope. I simply stared at my lap and he sighed. "Should I go? I feel like I should go."

I nodded. "Yeah, you should."

With that, he apologized quietly before getting up and grabbing his guitar case. He left my house. I heard his car drive off quietly as I sat there with a frown on my face.