*A second Dedication to SomeGamerGirl because she's literally so sweet and talented and an awesome friend. She's making an original BTS story just like me guys, so please show her support and check out her newest story "Dare to Dream" it has an amazing start already.*

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I've never viewed my propensity for wasting a bunch of my time on social media as a problem, and I've never considered how much of an actual problem I truly had when it came to it. I also never realized how much of an issue social media in general could be.... not until today.

My social media choice of the day was Youtube, a wonderful yet dangerous place on the thing we call the internet. However, it turned out to be far from the best choice that day because the information I received from it was like a splinter to my already bleeding heart - an especially sharp splinter to be specific.

I'd managed to keep myself from watching BTS related content on Youtube and instead watched the makeup tutorials that I usually enjoyed watching. I love makeup and I want to be able to do my contour and eyebrows just right someday. The tutorials on Youtube offered me a free education on the art of glam makeup, and in efforts to protect myself from unnecessary emotional abuse I watched them almost every day because the fact was, I was no more nearer to forgetting about those boys and moving on than I was to giving up social media (even though I heavily considered it, my follower count continued to grow by the day and consequentially so did the hate).

Here was the thing, I was too attached to them to let them go so easily. I just couldn't. I was aware of how unhealthy that was. It wasn't that I didn't have other things that I loved, blogging was a passion that stemmed from my need to write, any and all things. I've always written the things I felt, the things I thought, and whenever I had a new experience I would go home right away and record it in my journal. But there was a problem. Recently the only feelings I had were all unhappy ones, and what good would it do to fill my journal up with sad thoughts? I could maybe use a diary for that, but my journals were places that kept my happy feelings and memories.

I don't know what possessed me to look for the very content I was avoiding, but whatever it was had me clicking on a video against my better judgment. It was a fan-sign, a recent one by the date of the video. I bit my lip as I waited for the video to load.

I felt a little bit like a stalker. Meeting them in real life changed the way I felt about watching them through a screen even though I knew it wasn't really considered stalking by the general public standard. It just sorta felt that way to me now.

I held back a sigh as I watched the video play. There they all were, sitting in their element and interacting with their fans. They all looked so at ease, like professionals in their line of work. I stamped down the slither of irrational jealousy that popped up in my chest. I had no claim to them, they were Idols to thousands of other girls. There was no room for jealously, and besides I wasn't even the jealous type.

I almost had myself convinced until I saw a fangirl toss her hair in front of Suga in obvious flirtation. Oh hell no! Who was this ugly girl who thought she could flirt with him? I suddenly wished I could reach through the screen and yank her hair from her scalp.

Yikes, I needed to get myself together. This sort of violent possessiveness was most probably unhealthy, not to mention possessiveness was never a trait of mine in the first place, and I didn't need to start now.

At least he wasn't flirting back. Suga looked unmoved by the girl which I took a small comfort from. He looked like an imperial ice king, fazed by none and indifferent to all. He gave absolutely zero reaction and I liked that.

What happened next ruined the little bit of comfort I felt. The video skipped forward to the fans asking questions. Someone had been nice enough to sub this part of the video.

"Suga Oppa! What about this picture? Who is she?" a fan asked him as they held up an iPad. I zoomed in to see what the fan was talking about, even though I kinda already had a clue. It was a picture of me and Suga at the driveway at McDonalds. I inhaled a hissing breath. My hopes that nothing would come of it was apparently in vain.

"They are...she is...just a friend." I read the sub with round eyes.

I felt a prick in my chest. What had I expected him to say really? That I was a romantic interest? He probably wasn't even into me like that. By now he probably found some nice Korean girl to talk to, someone who could stand with him in the spotlight, someone who he could introduce to his family and they would welcome her with open arms. A bitter taste filled my tongue.

Had we truly ever been friends in the first place? What were we even? My eyes pricked at the edge and I rubbed at them irritably. I had no right to be crying. I barely even knew the guy, and I knew from the beginning that I had no real chance with him so I had no right to be upset. In fact I should have been happy that he even called me his friend.

I closed the tab and flung my phone to the bed, silently cursing the person who had the bright idea to sub that video. I knew Suga could be cold, even felt his chill before, but I was frozen solid by his choice of words. The night that picture was taken, it certainly didn't feel like I was just a friend despite his claim. Whatever. I closed my eyes and shoved the words away. It didn't matter now. I was never going to see him again anyway.

Shaking myself, I got up determined to not let this bring me down. I hadn't been to the mall in a while. It wasn't hard to convince Ummie and Maya to come with me. A few seconds of distraction was all I needed right now.

*             *            *

The mall we ended up going to wasn't as glamorous as the mall we went to some weeks back but it was still nice. We decided to go to the food court to grab a bite to eat. Ismael was with us- he decided to join us at the last minute which was okay by me. We'd been getting along lately so I didn't mind him being there.

The food court was buzzing with people. I couldn't quite contain a groan of annoyance. I really disliked eating in front of people, not that I'm self conscious or anything, I just generally prefer a more calm setting to enjoy my food. We took a table closer to the center of the food court and I wasn't thrilled with this seating arrangement. It put us smack dead in the middle of all the people, but it was the only multi-seater table left so I just had to deal with it. I sighed as I took my seat and tried to ignore the people around us.

Ismael ordered at the counter for us and I idly tapped random little beats on the table while we waited. I stopped when I realized the rhythm wasn't random at all but were in fact beats from some of BTS's music. Really, could I make It for just one hour without them coming into my thoughts somehow? I know it could be possible if I just tried a little bit harder...

"Why is everybody looking at us?" Maya suddenly asked, cutting of my thoughts.

"Everybody who?" I asked, looking around curiously at the people in the food court.

"Everybody. They're all looking."

"They're not looking at us, they're looking at Amani." Ismael said, instantly making me aware of the people looking our way. He was right. They were all staring at me.

"What's going on? Why are all these people starting at my daughter?" my mom wondered out loud in a threatening tone. She clearly didn't like that everyone was staring me down. It was weird and highly unusual. It made me wonder...did I look funny or something?

"You guys, do I look strange? Am I looking weird right now?" I asked everyone at the table, looking down at myself with a scrutinizing eye. Ismael and Maya both shook their heads. So what was it then? Why were these people staring?

All the staring was freaking me out, so I tried my best to ignore it like it wasn't happening. I went back to my drumming and shrugged all the intrusive eyes off as best as I could.

Our food came, a cheese pizza and a burger a piece for everyone. We also ordered a bucket of fries and salad (gotta have the salad). I opened my burger excitedly, it smelled delicious. I was famished and ready to dig in. My excitement dimmed when I saw that it was a beef burger instead of chicken...and there was no cheese.

"Why every time it's always my order that gets messed up?" I grumbled.

"I can take it back for you." offered Ismael kindly. I shook my head.

"No it's okay. I'll take it. You're already eating. Thanks though."

I walked with my tray of food to the counter, painfully aware of the stares that followed. Some even pointed and me and whispered to the person next to them. I swallowed hard. What was going on right now? I felt extremely confused and more than a little uncomfortable.

I quickened my steps to the counter - it was empty much to my relief and I returned my botched order for the right one. I turned around with the intentions of making a bee-line back to my table and yelped in surprise when I came face to face with a small crowd of people.

My heart drummed in my chest, my mind automatically thinking of the worst possible scenarios. Was I about to get jumped? I didn't even know how to fight. My first and only fight was weeks ago and I barely made it out of that unharmed. I'd be helpless with a group this big, there were at least 15 people surrounding me.

I blinked fearfully at the crowd. One girl must have noticed my distress because she put up a hand in a sign of truce.

"Sorry to....ehm...make you eh...scared. We just ah....want to...to ah...ask you if...you... know Suga from ah....Bangtan?" the girl asked me in heavily accented and broken English. I just barely understood her question. My eyes grew big with understanding.

Oh! So that's what this was about. Dude I was so relieved to know they weren't going to jump me. But relief was soon replaced with nervousness. What was I supposed to say to that question? I didn't want to say anything that could cause a problem. Should I be honest? I blinked my eyes, trying to formulate a response.

Well, he did call you a friend at the fan-sign...I reasoned with myself. It couldn't be bad if I acknowledged that, right?

"Uhh... yeah. I know him."

The crowd began to murmur excitedly. I couldn't understand anything that was being said, but I hoped it wasn't anything bad. The next question caught me off guard.

"You ah...dating with himeu?"

I opened and closed my mouth repeatedly, completely thrown by the question. Is that what everyone thought? That I was dating Suga?

Tell them no! My mind screamed at me. I went to tell them just that, but was interrupted by my mom who pushed through the now pretty large crowd.

"Everybody move! Back away from my daughter!" she shouted. Everyone took a step back at the strength of her voice. I noticed belatedly that people had their phones out and were recording while others took pictures, the flashes blinding my vision for a split second.

"Let's go. We're leaving."

"But mama...."

"Now Amani. Let's go."

I was taken away by my mom - people followed our movement with their cameras as we went. I looked up to see Ismael trying his best to fend off another, less larger crowd from Maya. It was time to get out of here.

We hurried out of the mall with Ummie practically dragging us out. Most of the crowd hung back at the food court, but a few followed us out into the parking lot. Mama was moving too fast for me to keep up and I ended up falling behind. That was all I needed. Immediately a girl intercepted me, cutting me off from following my family who were now a few steps ahead of me.

"Suga will never love a terrorist like you!" the girl sneered venomously in slightly accented but otherwise clear English. Before I could respond the girl yanked on my hijab violently, pulling a shout of alarm from me. When it didn't come off easily she let go, only to spit on me with vindictive intention. Her spit made a trail down the front of my hijab in slimy progression, the wetness making a gleaming pattern in a narrow line.

"Amani!" Ismael came running swiftly back to where I was, anger flashing in his eyes at the girl who attacked me. The girl took off running back towards the mall at the sound of my brother's voice. She was gone by the time he got to me.

"Amani are you okay?! What did that girl do?" he demanded furiously. I couldn't respond. My eyes were fixed on the slimy nastiness hanging on my hijab, my favorite purple one. I felt nausea rise within me. My hijab was ruined.

"What happened Ismael?! Why is she crying?!" I heard my mom demand shrilly in the background of the white noise filling my head. I was crying? I touched a hand to my cheek and sure enough I was. I wiped away at the tears fastidiously, attempting to shake the misery I felt inside.

"Mama, do you have another hijab I can wear?"

My mom's gaze zeroed in on the line of spit she hadn't noticed before. "Subhanallah!" she exclaimed, upset at what she was seeing. "Why would she do something like that? She's lucky I didn't catch her stupid behind, I would have knocked the spit right out of her mouth."

That made me chuckle. That girl didn't know how lucky she was. My mom can tumble with the best of them.

"Here habibty. Wear mine," she said, taking off the one she was wearing.

"What about you mama? You need one too."

"It's okay, I have two today."

Mama gave me the larger hood and kept her smaller head scarf. I was sure she most likely felt exposed in that tiny thing, mama always wore a hood that covered her chest area. I felt bad for taking it from her but she insisted. I felt so much better without the spit shinning at me. I balled up my purple scarf and put it in the plastic bag Maya handed to me. I didn't know what I was going to do with it just yet, so I'd keep it for now.

"C'mon guys, let's get home."

I walked after Ummie and Ismael with Maya who looked at me with angry and concerned eyes.

"Why did that girl come up to you and spit on you? Why would someone do something like that?" she wondered out loud to me.

"Because Suga will never love a terrorist like me." I repeated the girl's derisive words to me. Maya let out a gasp.

"She attacked you because she thinks you're in a relationship with Suga? Is she jealous that you know him?"

I thought about Maya's question. No, it wasn't because that girl thought I had a relationship with Suga, it was because I was a Muslim girl, plain and simple. Because I was Muslim and... somehow becoming famous, more or less.

"No, she attacked me because of my beliefs. Even if I never saw Suga a day in my life she still would have attacked me." I asserted firmly, confident in my claim.

It was clear. As much as I tried to ignore it, the fact was people hated people like me and my family simply because we wore hijab and prayed five times a day. Because we believed in God and his book and lived our lives by his commands. And because they didn't understand the true nature of those commands, they feared it and anyone who followed it, because they couldn't see beyond the propaganda and misrepresentations the political powers painted us in.

Because they didn't want to understand.

The reality came crashing down on me and for the first time in my life I felt singled out for being a Muslim and I didn't know how I felt about it. For the first time ever, I felt uncomfortable in my hijab.

The feeling stayed with me all the way home and even after that for a long time to come.

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A/N: This isn't me in the header image guys in case you're wondering, though I can be as stylish if I wish ;) More drama is underway. Get your gear on guys XD

Shout out to Mimi372004 for the votes and comments on my story <3 I hope you liked what you've read so far :) Check out their story "Mysteries Behind the Eyes" a Min Yoongi fanfic for all you Suga stans ^_^

And shout out to Hoseokvibes97 for voting and and commenting on my story. I appreciate your readership very much <3

See you guys in chapter Eighteen. Chow!