It had been a while since she'd worn her formal uniform - Historia's coronation if she remembered correctly. She hated the feel of it. The way the material itched against her scars, the way the coat reached her knees, and most of all, the way it branded her as a model scouts. She felt like a trophy, being showcased to the public to prove the strength and dedication of the scouts. Normally, she could cope with that pressure, however now proved difficult. This time, she wasn't being flaunted as a strong example. Instead, she was being exhibited as a fallen soldier. A wounded and distraught scout that dedicated her life and body to the cause.

"It's good you're finally able to walk." Mikasa spoke, handing the assassin a crutch just in case she needed it.

"It's good you're finally out of prison." Carmen replied, only recently finding out that the reason she hadn't seen Mikasa and Eren for a while was because they'd both landed themselves in a cell - curtesy of Levi. "Levi told me you staged a mutiny." She quirked a brow, hoping to get a full story.

Mikasa nodded, holding out her arm to help Carmen stand, then sticking by her side as she shakily and slowly walked. "Yeah, did he tell you he was going to let Armin die?" She defended. In truth, Carmen didn't blame her for her actions, despite the fact that she'd held a knife to Levi's throat. That said, Carmen had done the same occasionally.

"He did." She continued walking at a slow pace, trying her best to look as though she wasn't uncoordinated. "But I don't blame you for trying to save Armin. In fact - between you and I - I'm actually glad."

Mikasa paused, contemplating Carmen's words. At first, she thought she'd be scolded, reprimanded by either a superior or someone close to Levi. However, this was unexpected. This was different. This was... a relief. The girl continued walking by Carmen's side, her previous dread leaving her body. Both scouts continued their walk, a mutual sense of respect and gratitude lingering in the air.

Once they'd reached the rest of the scouts - albeit slowly - the two separated into their own secs. Mikasa wandered to the rest of the squad, whereas Carmen walked unsteadily towards Hange and Levi. The two superiors instantly noticed the fact that, although she was holding it, she wasn't using her crutch. Looking at her with a hint of concern, Levi walked by her side, putting her arm over his shoulder to hold her steadily.

Though his act of kindness didn't have its desired effect. "I'm fine." She gently tugged her arm back, the action shocking both Levi and Hange. However, Carmen saw no fault in her approach. It was the way that things were - she got injured, and now she'd get back up, walk on her own two feet just as usual. Regardless of the fact that one of her 'feet' was now made of metal. She'd gotten back up when Annie Leonhardt had wounded her. She'd gotten back up when she'd decimated the dolls.

And she would do the same now.

"I'm sorry, but Levi, this is something I need to do on my own." She expressed, her unwavering independence made Levi fearful. He knew well enough of Carmen's history, and he knew her awful habit of biting off more than she could chew.

Sighing, Levi reluctantly gave that space, despite the fact he'd much rather have it her safe in his embrace than unsteady and vulnerable. It was odd. The words 'vulnerable' and 'Carmen' almost felt as if they couldn't be said within the same sentence. Yet here he was, thinking it - seeing it. Carmen was vulnerable. Carmen needed to be protected. He needed to protect her.

"Whatever you're going through, it never has to be done alone. I'm here for you, whether you want it or not." He reassured. "I have two shoulders, feel free to lean on either of them. They're reserved strictly for you."

The assassin nodded, his words meaningless to her. Kindness lost value when it was done out of pity, she hated to be looked down on. But as her eyes wandered to the squad surrounding her, she couldn't help but notice the concern laced behind their feigned indifference.

"Can you ride?" Levi asked her, a discreet offer behind his question.

In truth, Carmen didn't know the answer, but she sure as hell wasn't going to assume negatively. Not when her whole squad had quietened down to hear her answer. "I don't see what's stopping me." The woman played ignorant as she weakly strode over to Bowie, grasping its reigns.

Luckily, she wasn't completely stupid. She wasn't going to jump straight on, knowing it would be difficult. Instead, she climbed a stepladder, straddling the horse with caution. "See. I'm fine." She tugged on the reigns, guiding the horse to the rest of her squad as she watched them all mount their own horses, soon riding in the direction of the palace.

"I thought we agreed that you'd take it easy?" Levi rode his horse by her side, attempting to make his voice seem calm.

For someone who'd been pushing herself ever since she'd gotten the prosthetic that morning, Carmen couldn't see how riding her horse was any different. She'd been working so hard to gain the minimal balance she'd obtained, Mikasa occasionally helping her, knowing how it felt to feel unusually weak. Thus far, her progress was stunning. She could walk. Stand. And she'd even been focussing on balancing to perfect the fighting techniques that she could still pull off.

"I don't need two feet to ride a horse." She stated dismissively. "Trust me, I'm fine." Insisted Carmen, getting rather annoyed by all the concern and worry. It was still a fairly foreign concept for her, she doubted she'd get used to it.

.
.
.

The road outside the palace was bustling with people of all ranks. The garrison, the press, and worst of all, the nobles and MPs. The scouts' horses gradually lost speed as they came face to face with the carriages lined up outside, countless familiar faces lines up in rows to welcome them - to welcome humanities saviours.

Each of her comrades began descending from their horses, offering the reigns to a few stable boys. Carmen figured she'd follow suit and spun one leg over her horse.

Shit.

Disaster struck when her prosthetic got caught in the stirrup of her saddle. She tried to regain her balance, she really did, but she couldn't startle Bowie, tugging on his reigns would only make matters worse. Practically powerless, she let her body fall sideways over the saddle, plummeting towards the floor.

Just in the nick of time, she felt Levi's arms wrap around her, catching her and saving her from total humiliation. "Are you alright?"

No. She wasn't. Carmen's face was completely void of emotion as she refrained from making any eye contact. Her pride had been gravely wounded, and the wound deepened when she discovered that her prosthetic was stuck in the stirrup. A metal clinking noise echoed as she continuously tugged on her foot, trying to free it but to no avail. This had to single-handedly be the most embarrassing moment in her life. Her tugging got more desperate as she recognised the whispers around her.

No. This was awful. This was horrendous. She had to-

"Calm down." Levi brought her back to reality, his grip firm yet comforting. "I've got you."

"I can't get it out it's... I'm stuck." She spoke in a hushed tone, her words came out rapid and shock woven. How could she have been so reckless? How could she let herself get caught in such a position.

"My back pocket." Levi said briefly and Carmen immediately understood. Her hand snaked its way into his back pocket, pulling out the weapon he'd concealed on himself - the two were similar in that respect. Flipping the switchblade, she sharply slashed the leather around the stirrup, allowing her to put weight back on her prosthetic. However, the metal frame was still latched around her metal foot, a constant reminder of her negligence.

The panic she was experiencing had subsided as she began to relax. Levi's grip slowly loosened as he felt her regain her composure, though he still remained on standby, just in case she needed him. "Thank you." Carmen said reluctantly. Despite being appreciative, she couldn't deny the overwhelming sense of humiliation. Relying on people was always tedious, even if it was someone as dependable as Levi, whom she trusted with her own life. "Did people see?" She asked cautiously, already feeling the answer - her habit of sensing being watched was a chore.

"No one important." He brushed off, his attempts to reassure her fell on empty ears. She already knew the truth. She knew all those nobles and MPs had seen her act, it was a daunting time to begin caring about social cues.

Sighing, Carmen stood up straight, standing completely independent of Levi in a futile try to reassert her strength. "Let's go." She said bluntly, practically dragging Levi to the inside of the palace, her only goal was to remove the stirrup trapped on her ankle. "I need your help." She spoke, guiding him to a discrete room inside the palace before sitting down. Of course, she wasn't completely delusional.

"Oh, so now you ask?" Levi seemed unimpressed. He didn't mind helping her - in fact, he was glad she finally abandoned her stubbornness - however the fact remained that she could have easily asked sooner rather than later.

"Yes, now I ask." Her words displayed a sense of annoyance. After that humiliation, she wasn't in the mood for playful banter. She felt as though a dagger was sitting in her chest, any comment made only twisted it. Levi stayed silent, he recognised that tone and didn't want to irritate her further. There was a time and a place - this was not one of them. Instead, he raised her trouser-leg beginning to unbuckle the straps of her prosthetic foot. The contraption slipped off with ease once the buckles were loose, finally dislodging the stirrup that had gotten caught there. Tossing it aside, he began to reattach her prosthetic foot.

"There, all better." The captain got to his feet, outstretching his hand for her to take.

"Thanks." She muttered, reluctantly taking his hand and allowing him to gently pull her to her feet.

"You okay?" He wondered, arm linked with hers as they began walking towards the palace hall where the ceremony was set to take place.

"I'm fine." Her words shot out harsher than she'd intended, regret instantly enveloped her. "I mean- I'm fine, really." She tried to soften her tone. "It's just that I'm not used to this. I don't like being pitied or coddled. I don't have it in me to give up or become contingent on everyone else, you understand that, right?" It was a pitiful attempt to excuse her behaviour, but Levi understood what she meant. Carmen was trained to be self-sufficient, independent, and diligent - not a reliant veteran, too broken to function on her own.

"I know." He nodded. "You push yourself, thats always how you've been. A quality I admire... but can't stop hating."

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Authors note

Beginning to regret taking 3 essay subjects for a-level. However, here's your crumbs.