The squad was gathered around a small fire, water boiled to give them the opportunity to have a hot drink of tea. None of them were too eager to speak, seeing as they had just witnessed something traumatic - especially Jean, who had seen Carmen's carnage.

Levi though, took their silence as a chance to speak, he could finally get a word in while the other were quiet. "Has all this filth killed your appetite?" The captain asked as he observed the full cups in the teenagers' hands, at least Carmen's was empty, but he should have expected her to be so composed.

"Drop it." Carmen advised, figuring that his approach was far from appropriate. Instead of folding, the man sent her a glare, not liking the fact that she was undermining him.

"They aren't going to learn a damn thing if they live with regrets." Levi challenged, Carmen scoffed.

"Sometimes it's good to have regrets, they help us grow." She wasn't backing down, she refused to let him confront the squad about what had happened.

"Not if we let them consume us."

"Its a good thing we all have a strong resolve."

"When you take a life, resolve isn't enough." He tried to reason with her, hinting to his squad, that's when Carmen realised, he wasn't talking about her. Slowly, she looked at each of the teenagers, out of all of them, Armin and Jean looked the most distraught - it had to be one of them.

"I see." Carmen nodded her head, understanding him. "Take it from a killer, you shouldn't keep your feelings to yourself - it's not worth it."

Armin's head lifted, rather than looking towards the ground, he gazed at Carmen. "How many people have you killed?" He asked her, eyes slightly watery.

The assassin shook her head, she hadn't exactly kept count of all her victims. After all, she'd been killing since she was 8, the corpses all just fades into an endless pit of shame. "Too many to count." Carmen finally replied. "I did what I had to in order to survive, but I'm not proud of it. Why would I be?"

Armin hummed, he somewhat understood what she meant, but that didn't mean he could separate her from her past, like Mikasa could easily disregard. For someone who used to think he was a 'good person', Armin's heart was taking a toll on him.

"There's something I don't understand. When I turned around and tried to save Jean, that woman already had her gun to your head." Armin explained. "Funny, how could I have shot before she did?" He wondered.

For the others, the answer was obvious. But no one, other than Levi, was blunt enough to say it. "You shot first because she hesitated. It's simple."

"I'm sorry Armin." Jean apologise. "You wouldn't have had to save me if I had just done my job."

"I know what it is." Armin continued as he neglected Jean's apology. "The woman I shot back there, I bet she was a really kind person, she must have had a lot more humanity than I ever did. I pulled that trigger so easily. I'm ..."

"A killer." Levi interrupted, his method overly blunt and absent of sympathy. "And now that your hands are bloody, the person who you once were is gone."

Quickly, Mikasa defended her friend, he wasn't like the others, he shouldn't have been the one to pull the trigger. "Why would you say that?" She accused, but Levi ignored her and refocused on his point.

"And you shouldn't regret it for one second. Because, if you had chosen to keep your hands free, Jean would be a corpse on a cart right now." Armin seemed to relax at his words, guilt lessening as Levi spoke. "I'll tell you why you pulled the trigger, it's because your comrade was about to die. Armin, everyone on our squad survived today, because you, Carmen and I, got our hands tainted. Thank you."

At ease, Armin's shoulders relaxed, none of them expected the cold-hearted captain to be so comforting. It was almost foreign. "Captain Levi, I thought it was wrong for us to fight other humans. I thought it was wrong that you ordered us to do it." Jean stated, his boldness admirable. "We became soldiers to protect people, but when I got back to the warehouse and saw all that red..." Jean trailed off, not daring to look at the assassin, who still had small remnants of her victory in her hair.

Carmen had no way of defending herself against him, it was overkill, and she knew that. But still, she protected the squad, that's all that mattered. So, she accepted the criticisms from her squad, it was deserved.

"That isn't fair." Mikasa disagreed. "You were there when they first started to surround us. They were prepared to kill us, you saw that one try to get close, but Carmen saved our lives. She stayed behind and drew all the dolls to the warehouse, she took them all out of the fight so that we would stand a chance."

Listening intently, Carmen was surprised by Mikasa's response. That said, the two girls had gotten closer ever since she had spoken to her at the cabin, Carmen would even go as far as saying that they were friends.

"That's right." Levi agreed. "She gave them a choice, surrender or die. They knew what they were getting into." He echoed the words that Carmen had told him, showing how well he listened to her. Carmen's heart warmed, knowing that they appreciated her. It was intense for her, considering she had contemplated the fact that she may be heartless.

"Thank you." Carmen spoke up. "I know that most of you are scared of me, but you need to understand that I would never hurt any of you. I couldn't lose any more friends, so I made a tough call. I'm sorry you had to see that Jean."

Jean looked shocked, as though he hadn't expected her to apologise for her actions. Initially, he had assumed that Carmen regretted nothing, she always acted distant, always avoided mentions of her past. However, he started to realise why - she was ashamed.

"No." Jean shook his head, arm stretched out as if to deny Carmen's statement. "I see now that it was necessary. I shouldn't have second guessed your motives, I just don't know what to think." His hand pressed against his head, clearly, he was stressed. "We're the good guys, right?" He added, his question provoking the thoughts of the other scouts.

"Who knows really?" Levi replied unconvincingly. "My moral high ground is shot straight to hell. The best we can do, is stick with what we believe is best for humanity."

Jean covered his ear, burying his head in his hands before finally responding. "Whatever happens, I'm with the scouts." He decided.

"Me too." Connie said.

"Same here." Sasha announced.

"And me." Armin nodded.

"Agreed." Mikasa contributed.

"I'm with you." Stated the assassin as the rest of the group looked towards the captain, awaiting his response. It took him a while to give in, but eventually, he clicked his tongue and agreed.

"I'm with the scouts." He said dryly, but Carmen knew he was discretely enjoying the squads company, despite the dire states they were in.

"That looked painful." She muttered to him, the man simply scoffed in return, getting to his feet to announce his orders.

"I think it's time we spoke to our hostage, he's been waiting long enough." The hostage in question started kicking and screaming, though it was useless against the tight knots that he was secured in. He wasn't going to escape any time soon.

A few members of the squad followed Levi, most stayed seated by the small fire, not wanting to expose themselves to anything unnecessary. Everyone was expecting a small aspect of torture, those threats always seemed to work best, and Carmen had already injured the man. However, as soon as his mouth was freed from the cloth, the man said something unexpected.

"I'll talk, just get that bitch away from me." He nudged his head in Carmen's direction. "She took my fucking finger." He accused - it was true of course, but Carmen didn't see the need for his outburst.

"Maybe if you hadn't shot at us, then you'd still have it." Carmen shot back, the man shook in fear as she took a step forwards.

On a normal occasion, Levi would tell the hostage to stop being a wimp - but they were in a hurry. He needed information, and potentially cooperation. So, he sighed in annoyance as he passed the bad news towards Carmen. "I think it would be easier." He turned to her, seeing disappointment cloud her features. Despite being undermined, she took a step away and went back towards the fire.

The others were less on edge around her, it was only Sasha, Connie and Jean who were still on the fence. So, she sat down beside them, checking over her injury when she got a moment.

"You okay?" Jean asked her, not daring to look her in the eyes after his confrontation.

"I can't feel pain, remember?" She returned, seeing that the bleeding had fully stopped. Levi had his flaws, but his first aid was immaculate.

"Right." Jean replied, as if cursing himself for forgetting something so obvious. Regardless, Carmen still appreciated the gesture.

"So were you born that way?" Sasha asked, curious as ever.

Connie nodded, he too wanted to know more about something so strange. "Have you ever felt pain before?"

Surprised by their questions, Carmen was glad they they were acting so casual with her. "I was born this way, thats one of the reasons why the government took me in."

"Can you feel other things, though?" Sasha followed up. "Like if I were to slap you, would you feel my hand?" It was a blunt, yet valid question, Carmen would have laughed if she could have.

"I would feel your hand, it just wouldn't hurt me."

The back and forth questions continued for a while until Levi, Mikasa and Armin returned, they looked as though they had achieved something with the hostage. Proud in a way. Levi looked at Carmen, nodding in her direction - the woman took it as a symbol of gratitude, he knew she didn't want to leave him alone to interrogate that man.

"Did you get what you needed from him?" Carmen wondered, curious because she hadn't heard any screams or sounds of torture.

"He was awfully complicit when we threatened to bring you back over." Levi scoffed. "You cut his finger off?" He knew she had, that mans face said it all. He was mainly just questioning what led her to make such a strange decision.

"His trigger finger." She elaborated, as if supplying reason for her actions. "He tried to shoot us, twice. I thought it was best I made sure he couldn't do it again."

"Well, at least you're scary enough to get us allies." He added, before changing the topic to a more serious note. "The plan is to capture the MPs who orchestrated the attack. Then find out what we can from them. We'll keep moving through our enemies until we get to Eren and Historia."

"So, any idea who these MPs are?" Carmen rightfully wondered, she had a few dozen faces that she knew she didn't want to encounter.

Levi didn't look overly confident in his answer, he didn't know. "For your sake, I hope it isn't any of your handlers." He offered his sympathy, but it didn't matter to Carmen all too much.

"For your sake, I hope it is." She disagreed. "They know things, they'd be useful if you manage to crack them."

The captain didn't care about the usefulness of the MPs they were about to capture. Obviously, it would be ideal for them to have knowledge on Eren and Historia, but if it cost the expense of Carmen's safety, then it wouldn't be worth it.

"We're moving out soon. Be prepared."

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Authors note

Currently in my Carmen era, I can't wait for you to read what I have in store for the next few chapters

Season 3 is her season