Her

"Do you like it?" He asked after I tasted his cook.

"Mmm!" Nakangiti kong sabi.

He smiled softly at me and I avoided my gaze. Hindi dapat ako nadadala sa ngiti niya.

"Ikaw? Bakit hindi ka kumakain?" Tanong ko nalang dahil hindi siya nagsandok ng sarili niyang pagkain.

"Hindi naman ako gutom . . ." Aniya at hinuli ang tikwas ng buhok ko para mailagay sa likod ng tainga ko.

He was just sitting beside me, staring at me as I eat. His eyes looked so happy and I felt something in me.

"I didn't know I didn't like being alone." He said after awhile.

Natigilan ako dahil doon. My heart clenched in another level of pain but I decided to shoo it off and continued eating.

"Now that you're here. I don't feel lonely anymore."

Dahan-dahan akong ngumuya habang nakatingin sa niluto niya. I didn't have the courage to look at his warm blue eyes.

"And I feel kind of free. Without mask on." He said and chuckled.

He's opening up. Again.

"You know, when you ran away, it was the very first time I looked in the mirror."

Tuluyan na akong tumigil sa pagkain dahil nawalan ako ng gana.

"To see if I am indeed handsome with my scar on. Or if it was just a lie because you pity me."

Nilingon ko siya at nakitang nakangiti siya sa akin. He looked so . . . different from the Adam I used to know. From the beast I used to think. Now, he looked like the innocent little Adam, opening up to someone he trusted.

"Anong nakita mo?" Dahan-dahan kong tanong.

His blue eyes stared intently at me and I clenched my fist under the table. His smile widened, and my heart clenches. This smile, it looks genuine and happy.

"I was handsome." He proudly said, I couldn't control my lips from smiling.

I'm glad.

"Guwapo pala ako? Hindi ko rin iyon alam. I was happy because of the scar. I didn't look like my father! I looked like Adam— like me, not my father." Masaya niyang kuwento, para siyang bata na nakatanggap ng hindi inaasahang regalo.

I held his hand and caressed it. Happy at that thought. I know how much he hated his father.

"Dati kasi, si Mrs. Potty lang ang gumugupit sa buhok ko kapag mahaba na. Wala naman akong pakealam kung humaba siya, eh. Pero palagi niya akong pinapagalitan. Kaya noong napagtanto kong iniwan niya ako, siguro, na-curious din ako kung ano ang itsura ko bago ako tubuan ng buhok. Hindi ako marunong gumupit, eh." He chuckled. His voice sounded like a child, so vulnerable, but happy. Far from his usual deep tone.

"I bet you're still handsome." I said softly.

"Talaga? You should wait for my hair to grow then. I'll see if you still find me handsome."

Wala na akong plano pang makita pa iyon. Wala na akong plano pang bumalik sa 'yo pagkatapos ng lahat ng 'to.

"Okay! I'm sure you'll be handsome!" I lied.

He smiled genuinely at me, I avoided my eyes. I don't know why my heart is even breaking for this monster? He's literally a murderer, a heartless beast, why am I pitying him? He deserves to be left alone!  

That night, he slept peacefully on the bed beside me. He was hugging me tight, like a little boy, afraid that his mom might leave him while asleep. Hinayaan ko nalang siya kahit na ang laki-laki niya sa maliit kong katawan.

Kahit na alam kong mahal ko pa rin siya. Na may parte pa rin sa puso ko ang tumitibok para sa kaniya. Alam kong hindi na tama pang magsama kami. He gave me too many traumas. He was the reason behind my scars, he was the reason behind my nightmares, he was the reason why I can't even grieve for my father's death. He was the reason for every single thing I'm suffering right now.

Kung hindi ko siya nakilala, sana hindi ako ganito. Sana hindi ganito ang boses ko, sana hindi ako nahihiyang ipakita ang balat ko sa ibang tao, sana hindi ako nagluluksa ngayon sa pagkamatay ng Papa ko.

And I will forever hate him for that.

Dahan-dahan kong inalis ang kamay niyang nakapatong sa akin. Mabigat ang braso niya pero nakayanan ko naman dahil mukhang sobrang himbing ng pagkakatulog niya. Umupo ako sa kama at napatulala sa kawalan.

He was still sleeping peacefully and I'm about to do something bad.

You shouldn't have trusted me.

Kinuha ko ang kutsilyo na nakatago sa likod ng jeans ko. My hand were trembling as I stare at the black kitchen knife. May nakatabon pa rito pero plano ko iyong alisin.

Tiningnan ko ang lalakeng natutulog sa tabi ko. His eyes were shut in a relay way as he breathe deeply. I don't know when he started being comfortable sleeping on bed but I'm about to ruin it.

He killed my father.

Inalis ko ang tapis sa kutsilyo at bumungad sa akin ang makintab nitong talim. My eyes reflected on the silver blade and I gripped the knife tightly.

If he can get away from killing my father, then I can also get away with it. Tatakas ako. Wala namang may pakealam kung mamatay siya.

Walang . . . nagmamahal sa kaniya. His death don't matter to anyone.

Kapag mamatay siya, hindi niya na ako mahuhuli muli. Kapag wala na siya, hindi niya na ako makukulong ulit. Kapag hindi na siya gumising, hindi niya na ako mahahanap pa. He deserves death! He killed my father! He's a murderer! A beast!

My vision blurred as I stood and with my trembling hands, I aimed for his stomach. Mahirap idiin pero sinubukan kong bigyan ng lakas para umabot iyon sa bituka. I could feel the blood dripping down my hands but I continued. His eyes reflexively opened as his lips parted. Our eyes met and my vision became vague as my tears fell down.

"M-Mamatay ka . . ." Nanghihina kong sabi.

"B-Beauty . . ." Nahihirapan niyang tawag. His trembling hands wrapped around my bloody knuckles.

"B-Bakit ayaw mo akong pakawalan?! Pakawalan mo ako! Ayaw kong makasama ka! M-Mamatay tao ka!" My throat strained as I shout angrily at him.

His lips were pale and I stopped pushing the knife inside his stomach. My hands were full of his blood, oozing down my forearms but he remained holding it. His eyes were staring intently at me, as if memorizing my features. My eyes trembled in both fear and pain when I saw a lone tear escaping his eyes.

"Dapat . . . sinabi mo sa akin. I . . . could've done it myself. Para hindi ka mahirapan. Look at you. You . . . have blood all over you." His tone was breathless, in agony, but soft.

Doon ako nahimasmasan. I stepped back and everything was blurred even with how many times I wiped my tears off. Nanatili ang kutsilyo sa tiyan niya na nakabaon. His blood was flowing down the bed and I paled at the sight.

"T-Tatakas ako! 'W-Wag mo akong susundan!" Sigas ko at tinalikuran siya para makatakbo papalabas.

My hands reached for the door knob but I stopped. Hindi ko napigilang lingunin siya dahil wala akong narinig mula sa kaniya at nahuli ko siyang nakapikit at nakahiga pa rin sa kama. His lips was pale as his palms were stopping the blood from his stomach. He looked like he already gave up and has no plan or will to live.

With my trembling hands, I opened the door and ran away fron where he was.

Mamamatay tao siya! Pinatay niya si Papa! He deserve it!

I narrated to myself several times. Nagnakaw ako ng kabayo at kaagad na pinatakbo ito. Hindi na muli ako lumingon kahit na nanginginig ang kamay ko at tumutulo ang luha ko.

Tumigil ako nang makakita ng sapa malapit sa kakahuyan. I washed the blood off my hands even though my hands didn't stop trembling. Naghilamos din ako at ilang minutong natulala sa kawalan bago nagpatuloy sa pagpapatakbo ng kabayo.

I have no plans of going back. Kung mamatay man siya dahil naubusan siya ng dugo, then that's even better! Malaya na rin ako! I have avenged my father's death!

"Arabelle?" Si Fou ang unang nakakita sa akin.

"Arabelle!" Si Aston nang makita ako.

Tumakbo siya papalapit sa akin. Napatingin ako sa kanila at nakitang maraming tao ang nasa labas ng bahay namin. May nagtatawanan, may nagbabaraha, may nagsusugal, sa bahay namin . . . sa libing mismo ng Papa ko!

"Bakit ganito?!" Hindi ko mapigilang magalit dahil parang walang pahalaga ang libing ni Papa!

"Chill! Papalabasin namin sila kung gusto mo, okay?" Si Aston.

"Ako na magpapalabas. Kausapin mo siya!" Si Fou sabay takbo sa mga bisita.

Umaga pa, papasikat pa lang ang araw at mukhang nandito sila magdamag. Hindi ko alam kung paano nila naasikaso ng madali ang libing ni Papa pero nagpapasalamatako dahil doon.

"N-Nasaan ka no'ng nawala ako?" Hindi ko napigilang tanong nang kaming dalawa nalang ni Aston ang natira sa labas.

"Iyong Carter na iyon! They blocked my way! Pagkatapos no'n, nabalitaan ko nalang na nawala ka!"

Hindi ako nakapagsalita dahil doon. Hindi ko alam kung sasabihin ko ba ang totoo o hahayaan nalang.

"Nabalitaan ko, siya ang naghulog sa Papa mo sa bangin!"

The pity I felt earlier vanished in thin air. I nodded and avoided my eyes. Alam ko naman iyon, eh. It is one of the reason why I was able to aim the knife on his stomach.

I just hope he don't survive.

"Pabagsakin natin siya!" Biglaang sumulpot si Fou sa harap namin.

"Oo! Arabelle, plano namin siyang sugurin mamayang gabi. Sasamahan mo ba kami?" Si Aston, there was a glint of excitement on his eyes.

"Ano?" I was dumb for a moment.

"Susugurin namin siya mamayang gabi. Marami kami! Plano naming gibain ang bahay niya lalo na't patay na rin naman ang Papa niya kaya wala na iyong kapangyarihan!" Excited na sabi ni Fou.

Natigilan ako roon. Gulat kong tiningnan si Aston na malaki na ang ngisi sa labi. Nalilito ko siyang tiningnan bago nagsalita.

"Patay . . . na ang Papa niya?" I don't know if it was from the lack of sleep that I'm feeling hazy and confused right now.

"Oo! Patay na 'yon! Kaya mag-isa nalang iyon sa bahay niya! Naglayas na rin mga katulong niya, pati fiancée niya iniwan siya!" Humagalpak si Fou pero nanatili akong seryoso.

"Paano kung maku—"

"Wala na iyong kalaban-laban! Madami kami! Madami akong koneksyon." Aston bragged.

"Bakit? Bakit . . . gusto niyo siyang sugurin?" Nalilito kong tanong.

The smirk on Aston's face dissipated as he stared at me. I can see fury engulfing his pupils as he stared at me.

"Dahil . . . pinatay niya ang Papa mo." Mahinahon niyang sabi.

Tumango nalang ako at nag-iwas ng tingin. Ni hindi ako sigurado kung buhay pa ba iyon. I just know that if I let them, then I won't be the one who'll be blamed for his death.

Buong hapon, inasikaso ko ang libing ni Papa. Tahimik lang ako, nakakapagod ang mag-asikaso ng bisita pero nakayanan ko naman. Nang magkaroon ako ng kaunting panahon para makapagpahinga, doon ko nagawang ilabas ang lahat ng sakit at pighati. I cried until my eyes felt sore. I cried until I felt tired. I cried until I fell asleep.

"Arabelle! Sumama ka na sa amin!" Si Aston ang kumatok sa pintuan ko na siyang nagpagising sa akin.

Hindi ko alam kung nakatulog ba ako o hindi? All I felt was that my eyes were shut the whole hours. Malungkot ako, iyon ang naramdaman ko habang nakapikit ako kaya hindi ako sigurado kung tuluyan ba akong nakatulog ng maayos.

I silently walked towards the door. Tahimik kong binuksan ang pinto at nakitang nasa labas na si Aston at Fou. My eyes went down to the gun on his hands and my eyes widened.

"A-Ano 'yan?!" Doon ko lang napagtanto kung gaano siya kaseryoso kanina.

"Papatayin ang halimaw na 'yon!" Si Fou sabay taas ng itak na dala niya.

Kumalabog ang puso ko nang makita ang mga tao sa likod nilang dalawa. They were all holding different kinds of tools! Panggiba ng bahay! May nakita pa akong gasolina! Plano nilang sunugin ang mansyon!

"Paano kung—"

"Sumama ka na sa amin! Paghigantihan natin ang pagkamatay ng Papa mo!" Tinulak ako ni Fou.

Lutang ako nang hinila ako ni Aston palabas. Pinasakay niya ako sa isang truck at si Aston ang nagda-drive noon. Hindi sila gumamit ng kabayo, mga sasakyan ang gamit nila at kitang-kita ko ang determinasyon sa mata nila.

Bakit galit na galit sila kay Adam?

"Arabelle." Tawag sa akin ni Aston.

Napabaling ako sa kaniya. His eyes were on the road. He took the long path, dahil nasa malalim na kakahuyan ang mansiyon kung saan nakatira si Adam kaya mahirap ipasok ang sasakyan sa gubat.

"B-Bakit?" Kinakabahan kong tanong.

"Kapag nakita mo siya. 'Wag kang mag-aalinlangang patayin siya. I could cover you up. We could cover you up." Seryoso niyang sabi.

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin at napatingin sa bintana. Tirik na ang buwan sa kalangitan at tahimik na rin ang paligid kung wala lang maingay na tao sa likod namin. They all looked excited. Like they're all gathering for rebellion, ready to ruin the government's house.

Nagulat ako nang may maramdaman akong lumapag sa hita ko. Napatingin ako roon at nakakita ng punyal. I paled.

"Saksakin mo. Madiin." Aniya.

"Pe—"

Natigilan ako nang tumigil ang sasakyan at lumabas siya. Nakita ko siyang umikot at pinagbuksan ako ng pinto. Kahit na nag-aalinlangan ay lumabas ako. The trucks from behind stopped as well. Lahat sila ay bumaba. We stopped in the middle of the road, and beside it was a forest. Papasukin pa namin ang gubat para mahanap ang bahay ni Adam and they all looked excited.

As if they were hunting a prey.

Kinalibutan ako roon. May mga taong may hawak na lampara at sulo. Hinila ako ni Aston at naglakad na papasok sa gubat. I gulped and even though my hands were trembling, I held the dagger tight.

Tunog ng yapak ng mga tao sa tuyong daan ang umalingawngaw sa tahimik na kagubatan. Crickets were around the corners and everything except the moon was dark. Habang papalapit nang papalapit kami sa kung nasaan ang bahay ni Adam ay papalakas nang papalakas ang kabog ng puso ko.

Hindi ko alam kung kinakabahan ba ako dahil sa gagawin nila kay Adam o dahil sa baka patay na ito.

When a familiar large gate became visible on our sight, they all stopped. Napatigil din si Aston at inalis na ang pagkakapulot sa baywang ko. He smirked and I saw devil on his eyes.

"Sisirain natin ang gate!" Sigaw ng lalake.

Lahat sila ay nagsigawan at hinampas ang gate gamit ang mga dala nila. May nakita pa akong umakyat sa taas para mabuksan ang gate. Kahit na sira-sira na ito ay unti itong bumukas dahil sa mga taong nakaakyat para mapasok ang loob.

Umikot ang mata ko sa paligid, pilit na tinitingnan kung may tao ba— kung may guwardiya ba o kung may mga lalakeng nakaitim para ipagtanggol si Adam— pero wala. Walang umatake, lahat sila ay malayang nakapasok.

Natigilan lamang ako sa paglalakad nang nasa harap na kami ng bahay ni Adam. They all went towards the door to ruin and break it. Pero nanatili akong nakatayo sa labas, natulala at nakatingin sa bintana ng kuwarto ni Adam.

Nagtama ang mata namin. He was standing in front of a window, there was a bandage around his stomach. Nakahawak siya roon, wala siyang tapis at kahit na malayo, alam kong pawisan siya.

He looked weak and pale but he remained standing, looking down at me. And I read something in his eyes as he stared at me deeply.

Kill me.

🥀

Author's note: 3 chapter update since today is my third month since na release ko first story ko rito! (Glimpse of Yesterday) └(^o^)┐

I hope and pray for more months to come sa pagsusulat ko! I also hope na nandiyan pa rin kayo na nagbabasa ngayon :)) ily!!