Her

"Bakit parang nakakita ka ng multo?" Natatawang tanong ni Evelyn.

She knew! She knew that I was with Adam! That I was her temporary replacement!

"Don't worry. We're good." She winked at me that I clenched my.

It was like a hidden message. That she won't tell his brother what we botg knew.

Ano ang kapalit?

"Okay naman na ang Papa mo. Umuwi na tayo, Arabelle. Hindi ko alam bakit bigla napabisita itong mailap kung magpakita kong kapatid pero gusto niya raw sumama sa bahay natin."

Natin?

"Okay . . ." Nag-iwas ako ng tingin.

Sumulyap ako kay Papa na nakapilit na ngayon. I sighed and turned the lights off before heading out. Evelyn smirked at me and walked ahead with her confident high heels.

"Tsk. That narcissist bitch. Paglakad pa lang halatang mahangin na." Komento ni Aston dito.

Hindi na lang ako nagsalita hanggang sa tahimik kaming sumakay sa truck niya. Mukhang hindi muna kabayo ang ginamit ni Aston at hindi ko alam. Siguro ay trip niya?

"Thanks, Kuya. You know how much I hate riding horses." Ani Evelyn at pumasok sa front seat.

Oh? So he knew she'll visit?

Sumulyap ako kay Aston na kaagad pumasok sa loob ng driver's seat habang naiwan naman ako sa harapan. The car beeped that I jolted and opened the car's door. Pumasok ako sa loob at walang pasubaling pinaandar ni Aston ang sasakyan.

"So doon ba sa bandang bukid ang bahay ni Arabelle?" Tanong ni Evelyn habang nasa sasakyan kami.

"Oo." Sagot naman ni Aston, nanatiling nasa harapa ng mata. Itinuon ko nalang ang mata sa bintana, the sun was alrrady rising and I could see the large plantation and many trees beside the road. I could even hear roosters from afar.

"Ang pangit doon. Doon ka ba titira kapag kasal na kayo?"

Natigilan ako sa narinig. Binalingan ko ang harapan at nakitang parang wala lang ang tanong ni Evelyn sa kaniya.

Wala akong planong pakasalan siya!

"Maybe or maybe not. Depends. Maganda naman doon kahit bukid. Malawak ang lupa at sariwa ang hangin."

"Tsk. Sariwa naman talaga ang hangin kahit saang sulok ka sa Casa Cantatio. Doon na lang kayo tumira malapit sa bayan."

"Bakit ba? Kung ikaw makapagdesisyon parang ikaw ang ikakasal?" Iritadong tanong ni Aston dito.

"I'm just worried about you, Kuya! Ikakasal ka na! Tapos sa babae pang . . ." Sumulyap siya sa akin sa rear view kaya kumunot ang noo ko.

Sige, ituloy mo. Kaya kong sabunutan 'yang buhok mo rito.

Humalakhak si Aston kaya parehas kaming bumaling sa kaniya.

"Ganito ako magmahal! Loyal! Kahit magkamukha pa!"

Nagulat ako roon at napabaling kay Aston. Nanatili naman ang halakhak niya kaya nalito ako sa sinabi niya.

"Siguraduhin mong hindi mo pagsisisihan. Maldita pa naman 'yan." Bulong pa ni Evelyn.

"Don't worry. I'm the only man who can tame her."

Ang kapal. Sarap sampalin.

Tahimik lang ako habang ang dalawa ay dada nang dada, pakiramdam ko dumudugo na ang tainga ko. They're botg narcissist and I can't even imagine how they manage to live in one house. It must've been draining to be with both narcissist people.

"Ito na 'yon! Yuck, kuya! I thought you had taste! Wala pala!" Evelyn spat when he saw our house.

Kalma, Arabelle. Hindi ka puwedeng magpadalos-dalos. Huwag mong sasampalin. Huwag kang mananampal.

"Lilipa kami—"

"Dito ako titira. Dito tumira ang mama ko, dito ang gusto niyang lugar at dito ko rin gustong tumira." Putol ko kay Aston.

Kaya kung ayaw mong tumira rito, eh 'di 'wag mo akong pakasalan!

"Chill!" He chuckled and glanced at Evelyn. "Dito kami titira, Evelyn! I'll renovate this house into a mansion!" Yabang pa nito, napailing nalang ako.

I turned my back on them and started walking when he called me.

"Saan ka pupunta?"

"Magpapahinga lang." Pagod kong sabi at hindi na siya nilingon para makalakad papasok sa kuwarto.

I was drawn to sleep the moment I lie on the bed, maybe because I didn't get to have much sleep yesterday. Nagising nalang ako dahil sa malakas na kalabog ng pintuan.

"Arabelle! Arabelle!"

Kahit na pagod ay bumangon aki at kinusot ang mata. I slowly walked towards the door kahit na sobrang lakas na ng pagkakalagabog ni Aston sa pintuan.

"Arabelle! Ang Papa mo! Namatay!"

Doon ako natigilan. My eyes widened as I stared at the wooden door, banging loud at the impact of his knock. Kumalabog ang puso ko sa kaba at naramdaman kong nagsimulang manginig ang kamay ko. I didn't get to process the words as if he time stopped and my feet halted.

Hindi puwede . . .

"Arabelle!"

Bumalik ako sa ulirat at napatakbo sa pintuan. I opened it and I saw Aston who was sweating profusely.

"A-Ano?" Sinubukan kong kumalma. That can't be! Natulog lang ako tapos ganito ang bubungad sa akin? Surely it's all a lie!

"Namatay ang Papa mo! Tinawagan ako ng doktor!"

I cursed loud. Hindi ko alam kung paano namin nagawang bumiyahe papunta sa ospital. In the span of 2 hours, ganito ang bubungad sa akin!

My heart fell as my feet halted when I saw one person the moment I entered my father's room.

It was those blue eyes that used to be so warm, now looked cold and indifferent as he stared at me. Bumaba ang tingin ko sa kama kung saan kani-kanina lang ay nakahiga si Papa. There was a white cloth covering his whole body and I couldn't even see his face. My lips trembled as I look at the man in front of my father.

Many scenarios played in my mind as I stared at his indifferent eyes and I hoped . . . I hoped I was wrong. I was hoping against all odds that it was just a coincidence—

"I killed him." He said and my heart shattered into thousand more.

"No, you didn't." I denied and shook my head.

"I did."

"Hindi ko 'yon magagawa! I know . . . I know you love me. And you . . . you know I love my Papa so much!" Pagtatanggi ko sabay iling.

He scoffed and shook his head.

"Iniwan mo ako. It was the consequence. Pinatay ko na ang sagabal." Malamig niyang sabi na siyang nagpaputla sa akin.

"A-Ano?"

"Iniwan mo ako dahil sa kaniya, hindi ba? Kaya pinatay ko. He ran out of breath while he was asleep." He shrugged and my heart clenched in both pain and anger.

"Ano?" My anger started to boil.

"I killed your father."

I scoffed. "You think you can get away with it? Makukulong ka!"

He smirked and my heart fell. He doesn't look like the Adam I know and it was worse than a heartbreak.

"Beauty . . ." He called softly, but it was dangerous that I shivered from the impact.

His smirk widened as he walked near me, I stepped back but his warm hands wrapped around my arms as he pulled me close to him. My heart thumped loudly against my chest as I stare at his blue eyes.

He slowly leaned close to my ears. I shut my eyes tight as I try to control my pouring and confusing feeling. My breathing was fast while his breath brushed my earlobes.

"In this province. I'm the most powerful man. I'm a Carter, Arabelle." He whispered slowly.

I shook my head as I clenched my trembling hands. I looked at him miserably but his emotions were indifferent as he stepped back.

"B-Bakit?" Nanghihina kong tanong.

"Iniwan mo ako dahil sa kaniya." He shrugged it off like he did nothing and I cannot believe this is the man I loved!

It was an impulsive action I never regret, my palm reddened after I slapped his cheek hard that it left a mark on it. Hindi siya natinag, mukhang inaasahan niya na 'yon. Dapat lang!

Tatalikuran ko na sana siya nang bigla niyang hinablot ang kamay ko at pinaharap ako sa kaniya.

"Bitiwan mo ako!"

"No. You're coming with me."

"Hindi ako—"

"Rix!"

Nagulat ako nang biglaang may lalakeng pumasok sa kuwarto ni Papa. My eyes widened when the same man who kidnapped my Papa when we first met came again!

"Aston!" I shouted in panic, he scoffed and shook his head.

Tangina, nasaan na 'yong lalakeng 'yon?! Nagpaalam lang 'yon na may bibilhin tapos hindi na bumalik!

"He was silenced. Everyone was silenced."

"An—" Natigilan ako nang may sumakop sa bibig ko na isang tela.

My words were incoherent against the cloth as I tried to push them but the smell . . . it was hypnotizing, as if pulling me back to sleep. My lashes started to feel heavy and my hands that were fighting weakened. Gusto kong magpumiglas, gusto kong manakit pero huli na ang lahat . . . dahil naging madilim na ang paligid.

Hindi ko alam kung ilang oras o . .  araw? Ba akong nasa kadiliman hanggang sa nakaramdam ako ng haplos sa buhok ko. I slowly opened my eyes and a familiar warm blue eyes welcomed me. Nakatungo siya sa akin habang hinahaplos ang buhok ko at doon ko lang napagtanto— nakahiga ang ulo ko sa hita niya.

Hindi ako nagsalita, hindi rin siya nagsalita. Gusto kong magalit, gusto ko siyang atakehin, murahin, saktan, umiyak, itanong kung bakit?, masaktan at humagulhol. Pero hindi ko ginawa. Dahil wala iyong silbi. Kahit ilang beses kong kumbinsihin ang sarili na siya ang mali, na siya ang may kasalanan ng lahat ng 'to, hindi ko alam kung bakit palaging bumabalik sa kaniya ang puso ko?

Ang tanga ng puso mo, Arabelle. Napakabobo. Walang utak.

Love . . . it is indeed scary that it was willing to go blind just so it could walk towards an illusion of happiness, disregarding every single mistake, every single sin, every single signs.

"You slept for two hours. You must be hungry?" He asked softly.

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin sa kaniya at bumangon. He assisted me and I wanted to push his hands off me but I need to act wisely. Hindi ko nalang siya pinansin at natulala sa kawalan. I was back again, inside his room— maybe prison?

"Kailangan kong asikasuhin ang libing ni Papa." Kahit na mabigat ay sinabi ko iyon.

"I can handle it."

I clenched my fist as I try my best to remain calm.

"Gusto kong nandoon ako."

"No."

Nilingon ko siya at nakitang bumalik sa pagiging malamig ang mata niya. I gulped and avoided my eyes.

"Ikukulong mo nanaman ako?" I tried my best not to sound so bitter.

Hindi siya nagsalita. Tumayo ako at tinalikuran siya. I regret it. I regret liking him! I regret loving him! Dapat hindi ako umamin! Dapat hinayaan ko siyang layuan ako! He's so toxic! Ayaw ko na! Tangina, ayaw ko na. Nakakasawa na siya. Nakakapagod. Ganito nalang ba palagi?!

"Beauty, where are you going?"

I shut my eyes tight and let out a heavy breath. Kailangan kong makatakas. Kailangan niya akong pakawalan. Kailangan ko siyang layuan. Tangina, lalayo ako! Kahit saan! Basta wala lang siya sa paningin ko!

I turned to him and forced myself to smile sweetly. His forehead knotted at that.

"Ginugutom ako. Sa baba tayo kakain?" Tanong ko.

"We can—"

"Gusto kong sa baba kumain." I cut him off before he could say that we can eat here.

"Beauty—"

"I'm craving adobo. How about you cook adobo? Tapos titingnan ko paano ka magluto?" I forcedly said.

Ilang minuto niya akong pinagmasdan bago siya bumuntong-hininga at tumayo. Tahimik lang ako pinagmasdan siya hanggang sa lumapit siya sa akin. Napasulyap ako sa maskarang nakalatag sa night stand na hindi niya sinuot. Lalabas kami? Hindi niya ba susuotin?

I nearly flinched when his arms wrapped around my waist. Kumunot ang noo niya. Akala ko hindi niya napansin ang saglit na pagkagulat ko sa biglaang paghawak niya sa akin! I avoided his stare and acted like I did not flinch earlier.

"Halika na." Sabi ko nalang.

Mabuti nalang at sumunod siya sa sinabi ko. The mansion was awfully quiet as we descended down the stair and I tried to look for a sign of human but there was none. Nang makapasok kami sa kusina ay pinaupo niya ako sa stool kaya tahimik akong umupo. My eyes roamed around the quiet kitchen, suddenly curious why I saw no one.

"They left me." He said, he must've noticed the confusion in my eyes.

Gulat ko siyang binalingan pero tinalikuran niya lang ako at kumuha na ng mga gamit sa panluto.

"Silang lahat?" Gulat long tanong.

Tumango siya at tinalikuran ako para may abutin na sangkap. I couldn't see his emotion really well, all I see was his back.

"Nilayasan ako ni Cara, pagkatapos no'n, lahat sila iniwan ako. I expected it, no one will stay with my attitude anyway, so it wasn't shocking." 

My lips parted as I stared at his back. Parang may kung anong kumalabit sa puso ko na kaagad kong inilingan. I should think wisely and not let my emotion get ahead of me! Naawa ako, pero matalino ako.

Kaya ba hindi na siya nag maskara? Dahil siya nalang mag-isa?

"Kailan?"

"I don't know. Maybe when I woke up and you weren't by my side? That's when I noticed I was all alone in this house."

Kaya ba siya pumunta sa hospital? Para tingnan kung nando'n ako? Pero bakit kailangan niyang patayin si Papa?! Dahil lang nagalit siya na lahat kami iniwan siya?! It wasn't our fault!

"Hindi mo sila hinanap?" Hindi ko napigilang itanong.

"Wala namang gugustuhing bumalik sa akin, eh. Unless I kidnap them. Just like you." He chuckled, but it was bitter.

Talagang hindi kita babalikan.

I stood and the stool screeched backward. Napasulyap siya sa akin pero ibinalik din ang tingin sa lamas na hinihiwa niya.

Dahan-dahan akong lumapit sa kaniya. I subtly grabbed a kitchen knife and hid it behind my jeans. Maliit lang iyon at may takip kaya hindi ako nahirapan. Mabuti naman at seryoso siya sa paghihiwa kaya hindi niya iyon napansin.

I stopped when I was behind him. My heart was banging loud against my chest and my breathing was fast and twice its normal speed. Nagpakawala ako ng malalim na hininga bago dahan-dahang lumapit sa likuran niya . . . para yakapin siya.

He halted, I could feel him stiffening from my touch.

"Hindi kita iiwan tulad nila." I said those words sincerely, I almost believed myself.

Hindi siya nagsalita, humigpit ang pagkakayakap ko sa kaniya. He sighed and removed my hand off his stomach, napaatras ako nang harapin niya ako.

He cupped my face and his eyes looked sad and lonely, for a minute, I pity him.

But that was just a passing moment. My anger was greater than this pity I feel.

"Hindi mo ako . . . iiwan?" He said slowly, as if confirming what I just said.

I smiled sweetly at him and nodded. Hinawakan ko ang kamay na nakahawak sa mukha ko at hinaplos ito.

"Hindi. Alam mo namang mahal kita. Bakit kita iiwan?" I chuckled and slowly traced the scar on his face using my fingers.

This time, he didn't flinch when I touched his scar. His eyes, they weren't afraid anymore, instead, there was a glint of joy in it, like I gained his trust and that he was happy that I was the one touching his vulnerability.

Lies. You made me want to vomit, Arabelle.

🥀