Her

It wasn't really the notebook why I visited him.

I just wanted to see his face.

Tapos aalis na kaagad ako.

Iyon lang ang plano ko!

But why am I suddenly on his bed and moaning?!

"Adam!" I shouted when he entered me all of a sudden, setting aside the cloth of my panty, not even fully taking it off!

I was wet, okay, but I didn't expect him to suddenly thrust so fast inside me! Baguhan pa ako kaya masakit pa siya! Gusto ko pa sanang magreklamo kaso lang inatake niya na ako ng marahas niyang halik. I moaned in his mouth when he started moving.

It wasn't slow. It wasn't gentle. I bit his lower lip when he pushed and pulled in a fast pace, like a selfish wild beast finding for its own pleasure. And I hate to admit it but it's turning me on. Masakit . . .  pero masarap.

He rode me like how he rode a horse, like he was in a race, chasing for something in the darkness and I was under him, enjoying the pain and pleasure he could give. Tears welled up in my eyes as he fastened his pace, naramdaman kong nanginginig na ang paa ko dahil sa epekto ng bawat paggalaw niya and he must've noticed it, he kissed me. This time, it was slow, gentle, and sensual, it triggered something inside me.

"Dahan-dahan . . ." Hinihingal kong sambit nang kumalas siya sa paghalik.

He didn't listen, instead, he pulled down the top of my dress, leaving my front exposed. Hinawi niya ang bra na pumuprotekta sa hinaharap ko and I arched my back and shut my eyes tight when his whole mouth devoured my other boob.

His right hand pulled the nipple of my unattended mound while the other pinched my clit, I shivered and cried. He's wild, wilder than our first. Hindi ko alam kung iiyak o sisigaw ba ako dahil sa sakit o sarap na pinapadama niya.

I cried more when his thrust became more aggressive, he pushed deeper, hitting something inside me that I screamed until I reached my ecstasy. Nasa tuktok pa lang ko, gustong damhin ang pansamantalang kaligayahan ngunit hindi siya tumigil sa paggalaw, instead, it fastened and I cried from too much pleasure, I just reached my first peak and I'm about to reach my second in just seconds!

"Dahan-dahan!" Napapaos at naiiyak kong sigaw.

Hindi niya ako pinakinggan! He's a beast! Kahit na nanghihina ay hinawakan ko ang braso niya at ibinaon doon ang kuko ko dahil sa galit. He was too fast, too wild to tame and I was his prey. I was willing, okay, pero sana dahan-dahanin niya naman! My stamina can't take it!

Until he stopped and I felt liquid spilling inside me, along with mine. There were mini thrust before we both convulsed and it was exhilarating. Hinihingal niyang ibinagsak ang noo sa balikat ko, parehas kaming pagod at puno ng pawis. Kumpleto pa ang damit niya samantalang ang damit ko ay halos mapunit na dahil sa kaniya!

"I'm sorry. I was just . . ." His whisper was soft and weak.

"Ang sakit ng buong katawan ko!" Galit kong sabi kahit na pagod pa.

"I'll clean you up." Kahit na alam kong pagod pa siya ay tumayo siya.

Doon ko lang napagtantong wala na pala siyang maskara. The only thing that was bare in him was his face, and it speaks a lot. As if it was a reflex to remove the mask whenever I'm with him. Like he trusts me, he didn't even think about it.

Hindi na ako nagsalita at pinikit nalang ang mata, trying to calm my heart and my irrational mind. Bakit ako nandito?! Bakit hinayaan ko siya?! Bakit ganito ang nangyari?!

I fell asleep despite my loud and chaos mind. Nagising nalang ako nang mapagtanto iyon. I opened my eyes and felt something warm beside me. Kumalabog ang puso ko nang unti-unti kong nilingon anf katabi ko.

My lips parted out of shock when I realized he was sleeping beside me, on the bed, peacefully, without sweat, without his forehead crinkled. His bare face was calm and his lips were slightly parted. His huge hands were around my waist and his whole body was facing me.

I stared at his bare face. From his eyes, down to his lips. From his brows down to his jaw. From his scar down to the tip of it. Everything in his face was perfectly made and the scar on it added impact on it. As if the scar was meant for him, for his looks.

How can his mom hate this innocent beast?

He looked innocent when his face is calm. Like a teenager boy who doesn't know that porn exist.

I sighed and slowly removed his hands off me. Dahan-dahan akong tumayo kahit na ramdam ko ang hapdi at sakit sa gitna ko. I was sore, but it was bearable because he didn't fuck me all night unlike last time.

I grabbed my jacket and scarf. Isinuot ko ito at mahinang naglakad palabas ng kuwarto niya. I wad thankful that the mansion was quiet. Tahimik akong bumaba at lumabas ng bahay, wanting to go back before Aston even discover it.

The sky was slightly dim but there was a light light on it. Maybe it was two or three in the morning already. Nakarinig na nga ako ng tilaok ng manok kaya batid kong umaga na. I slowly walked near the horse's stable so I could steal some dahil sigurado akong walang namamasada ngayon.

"Cog?" Gulat kong tawag nang makita ko siyang sinusuklayan ang buhok ng kabayo.

Gulat din siyang bumaling sa akin nang makita ako. Hindi niya rin siguro inaasahan na nandito ako, pati sarili ko, hindi ko alam bakit ba bumalik ako rito!

"Arabelle? Anong ginagawa mo rito?" Hindi makapaniwala niyang tanong.

"Ahh . . ." Nag-iwas ako ng tingin.

"Saan ka? Aalis ka? Ihahatid na kita." Aniya kaya napabuntong-hininga ako.

"Sige!"

Mabuti naman at hindi pa nag-usisa si Cog. He let me ride with him. Kahit na masakit siya ay tiniis ko buong biyabe dahil ayaw ko namang mahalata niya! I just told him to drop me off near the hospital where my father is currently in.

"Salamat, Cog." Sabi ko nang makababa na sa kabayo.

He smiled gently at me and nodded. Tinalikuran ko na siya at nagmartsa papasok sa loob ng hospital. Kaunti pa lang ang tao, madalang din naman kasing may maaksidente rito sa amin dahil kakaunti lang ang namamasada o ang may nagmamay-ari ng sasakyan. Most people in here prefer having a horse than a car, kaya rin sariwa ang hangin dito sa amin dahil hindi puno ng usok ng mga sasakyan.

When I entered my Papa's room, I was shock to see his eyes wide open while staring at the wall. Dali-dalu ko siyang dinaluhan kasabay ng pagkalabog ng puso ko.

"Papa!" Hindi makapaniwala kong sigaw nang mapagtantong gising na siya.

Binalingan niya ako, his eyes were shock but it teared up.

"A-Arabelle. Anak ko . . ."

Tumulo ang luha ko at mahigpit siyang niyakap. He looked older than usual, and he's weaker than usual.

"S-Sinong gumawa nito?" Even though I know the answer, I was hoping against all odds that it wasn't him.

So I could hate him less. I could hate myself less.

Please don't make it him.

"I-Iyong h-halimaw! P-Plano ka niyang patayin dahil kamukha mo si C-Cara!" His eyes were wide as he panicked and my heart fell in disappointment.

"P-Papa . . . sigurado ka?" Nanghihina kong tanong. Tangina alam ko naman, eh. Narinig ko na, ipinamukha na sa akin pero bakit parang ayaw ko pa ring paniwalaan? Kahit na galit ako, gusto kong paniwalaan na hindi niya iyon kayang gawin!

His eyes widened even more. His lips parted as he panted, I panicked.

"A-Ayos lang—"

"Oo, Arabelle! P-Papatayin ka niya! Papatayin niya ako! Papatayin niya tayo! Kaya dapat mauna siyang mamatay!" He moved, wanting to get up and I panicked even more.

"Papa! Huwag ka muna gumalaw!"

"K-Kailangan nating tumakas! P-Pumunta tayo sa Manila! O kahit saan! Layu—"

"Kailangan mo munang magpagaling!" Namomroblema kong putol sa kaniya.

"S-Si Aston! T-Tutulungan—"

"Oo, Papa. Poprotektahan niya tayo kaya magpahinga ka na." Bumuntong-hininga ako.

His panicking eyes calmed down when I said those words.

"Po-protektahan niya tayo doon sa halimaw na 'yon?" Kumakalma niyang tanong.

Kahit na ayaw kong ipamukhang nakadepende kami sa kaniya, I know it was the truth. Kaya dahan-dahan akong tumango.

"Okay." Tuluyan na siyang kumalma kasabay ng malapad niyang pagngisi. He was weak earlier, but now he looked like he gained some strength.

"Anong nangyari sa 'yo, Papa?" Tanong ko maya-maya sabay upo sa tabi niya.

I held his hands as he stared at me. My question seemed to take his guard off, his lips parted as his eyes started to move in different direction.

"Tinulak ako . . . ng halimaw sa bangin." He uttered brrathlessly.

It must've been traumatic for him to utter those words. Humigpit ang hawak ko sa kamay niya, unti-unting nagagalit sa sarili kung bakit ba ako bumigay sa halimaw na 'yon. I should've reminded myself of the things he had done to my Papa! Dapat inalala ko! Dapat hindi ko kinalimutan! I shouldn't have let my feelings rule over me!

"Bakit?"

"Kasi galit siya sa akin!"

"Hindi ka niya pinatakas?"

"Pinatakas pero plano niyang patayin ako!" Agaran niyang sabi.

"Ba—"

"Inaantok na ako." Aniya biglaan kaya napatayo ako.

"Papa, matulog ka na." Mahina kong sabi.

Tumango siya at nag-iwas ng tingin. He closed his eyes and I stayed there for an hour before going out of his room.

May nurse akong nakasalubong kaya tinawag ko siya.

"Bakit po?" Lapit niya sa akin.

"Kakagising lang ng papa ko. Pwede paki-check?" Although he looked fine, I just want to make sure.

Nagtataka niya akong tiningnan. Tiningnan niya ang kuwartong pinili ko sabay sulyap sa chartboard na dala-dala niya.

"Arabelle Solace?" Tanong niya na tinanguan ko.

"Iyong papa ko, nagising lang kanina pagbalik ko." Sabi ko kaya nagtataka niya akong tiningnan.

"Kanina lang? Nagising na iyon kahapon pa. Na-check na rin namin at maayos naman kalagayan niya. Kailangan niya lang ng pahinga." Ngiti niya sa akin kaya kumunot ang noo ko.

Kahapon pa pala siya gising? Siguro'y hindi niya alam na binisita ko siya kahapon. I sighed and nodded. Nagpasalamat ako sa nurse kaya ningitian niya ako at sinabing iche-check niya mamaya si Papa. In the end, I went inside my Papa's private room. He was now asleep on the bed so I sat on the couch and stared at nothingness.

Anong mangyayari pagkatapos nito? Papakasalan ko ba si Aston?

"Ikaw ang plano kong pakasalan! Hindi siya!" Umalingawngaw sa isipan ko ang boses niya. Nanlaki ang mata ko at sinampal ang sarili dahil sa naisip.

Ano naman ngayon?! Hindi ko siya papakasalan!

Umiling ako at humiga na sa couch. I decided to take a nap so I could forget him and thankfully, I temporarily did.

"Hinanap kita! Nandito ka lang pala!"

Kinusot ko ang mata ko nang marinig ang boses ni Aston. Dahan-dahan akong bumangon nang mapagtantong umaga na pala, I saw the sun on the window and the light passing through it.

"Akala ko nawala ka na!" Si Aston kaya nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kaniya, nasa harap ko na siya at nakapameywang.

Sinulyapan ko kung nasaan si Papa nakahiga at nakitang gising na pala siya at pinagmamasdan na kami.

"Papa, ayo—"

"Arabelle! Kinakausap kita! I'm your fiancé!"

I sighed loud and looked up to him, he looked mad.

"Dito ako natulog para mabantayan si Papa." That was an excuse, hindi ko gustong umuwi!

"Tsk! Inantay kita buong gabi hanggang sa nakatulog ako!" Iritado niyang sabi kaya nag-iwas ako ng tingin.

"Babalik ako mamaya." Napipilitan kong sabi para lang tumigil na siya kakasigaw sa harap ng Papa ko.

Natahimik na siya dahil doon. Tumayo na ako at nilagpasan siya para madaluhan si Papa. He was looking at us with curiosity in his eyes.   

"A-Arabelle." Tawag niya.

"Hmm?" Mahina kong sagot sabay upi sa tabi niya.

Sumulyap siya kay Aston sa likod ko sabay tingin sa akin.

"A-Anong nangyari sa b-boses mo?" Siguro ngayon niya lang napagtanto iyon dahil naging mas klaro ang boses ko.

Nilingon ko si Aston na nakakunot ang noo sa amin.

"Would you mind?" I gestured the door.

"Tsk. Siguraduhin mong umuwi ka mamayang gabi." Pagkatapos ay nagmartsa na siya palabas kaya bumuntong-hininga ako.

"W-Wala naman . . ." Pagsisinungaling ko nang bumaling muli ako kay Papa.

Hindi siya naniwala. He looked at me skeptically so I tried to change the subject.

"I met my twin." I said after a while.

His eyes widened as he shifted. He was alarmed and I don't know why. Hindi ba't nabaon siya sa utang para lang makatakas ang kakambal ko?

"S-Si Cara?"

Nalilito ko siyang tiningnan at tumango. His lips parted.

"B-Bumalik siya? Bakit? A-Akala ko ba gusto niya maging piloto? Kaya nagnakaw ako ng pera! Para makapag-aral siya abroad! Bakit siya bumalik sa halimaw na 'yon?!" He was panicking and I realized that that what she said on her diary.

"Hindi ko alam. Mahal niya sigu—"

"May iba na 'yong mahal! Sinabi niya sa akin habang nasa abroad siya! Kaya bakit pa siya bumalik?! Papayag naman akong magtanan sila!"

"Papa, hindi ko mainitindihan. Kailan niya sinabi iyon?" Nalilito kong tanong.

His eyes widened and he avoided my eyes. His lips trembled and he was panicking. He looked so sick and older than usual. Ngayong nakikita ko siyang nanginginig, mas lalo akong naaawa sa kalagayan niya.

Kumatok ang pintuan kaya napatalon si Papa sa pagkakahiga. Binalingan ko ang pinto at sumulyap sa kaniya bago naglakad palayo. I heard him sigh in relief and it confused me.

Binuksan ko ang pinto at nakita si Aston na may kasamang pamilyar na babae. My lips parted as my heart thump violently against my ribcage.

"Ang tagal mo kaya kumatok na ako. By the way this is my younger sister." Si Aston sa babaeng katabi niya.

Ngumiti ang babae pero hindi ko magawang ngumiti. Kahit gaano ako kagaling umarte, hindi maitatago nito ang pamumutla ar panginginig ng kamay ko.

"Hi! I'm Evelyn." She smirked.

🥀