Him

I . . . I fucking heard her voice!

Fuck. Am I dreaming?!

When I heard her voice, I feel like I broke the gates to heaven as I experience the paradise of her voice. A satan enjoying the pleasures in heaven while the angels around him panic at its presence.

Tangina, ang ganda ng boses niya!

And she . . . she asked me to kiss her! That's her fucking first word to me!

Pakiramdam ko mamamatay ako sa sobrang saya but I should compose myself. Baka mamaya bawiin niya.

Tinulak niya ako papalayo at namula. Her lips were reddish from my kiss and I didn't even notice that because I was too distracted with her voice. Hindi ko namalayang nakagat ko na pala siya, and it was an unconscious reflex.

"Tama na . . ." She said softly.

I want to curse so badly. Can I fucking record this?

"What?" I pretended not to hear it so I can hear her voice again.

She glared at me but she didn't talk! Pinagkait niya nanaman!

"Beauty, I didn't hear you."

"Adam." She warned.

Tangina.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Control yourself. Calm yourself.

"Adam! Maligo na tayo!"

I sighed when I heard Cara's voice behind me.

"Sasama ka?" Tanong ko kay Arabelle, nanatili ang titig sa maamo niyang mukha. She's so cute.

I held my breath as I waited for her answer, hoping she'll answer me verbally.

"Hindi . . ."

She did!

Can I just stay here and listen to her speak?

"Adam!"

"Okay!"

I need to distract myself! Baka mamaya, hindi na siya magsalita sa harap ko dahil sa sobrang adik ko. I should control this urges. I don't want to scare her.

Siguro maliligo lang ako ng limang minuto tapos babalikan ko agad siya. I'll ask her random things and listen to her talk after that.

Kaya sinamahan ko muna si Cara sa dagat. I removed my shirt, broad shorts nalang ang natira sa akin. Nilingon ko si Arabelle at nakita nakakunot ang noo niya sa buhangin, hindi man lang ako tiningnan. I sighed. This is not getting any better.

Unti-unti na akong pumunta sa dagat para samahan si Cara. Like a kid, she played with me. She loves playing games because I was the only person whom she can play with when she was just a child. Sometimes, I pity her for not being able to interact with other kids, kaya kahit na hindi naman talaga ako mahilig maglaro, I play with her just so she wouldn't feel lonely.

Sumunod na rin sila Lumiere kaya nakaahon ako kaagad. Umahon din si Cara at tumakbo papalapit sa truck ni Cog para magtanong kung nasaan ang damit at mga make-up niya habang lumapit naman ako kay Arabelle na nakaupo sa buhangin at pinagmamasdan ang kalangitan. Basa pa ako kaya may distansya pa ang pagkakaupo ko sa kaniya. She didn't even turn to me.

"Beauty." I called.

"Hmm?"

I breathe deeply and exhaled loudly. Pakiramdam ko kinuhaan niya ako ng hininga! I should stop exaggerating things.

"Why do you love yellow so much?" I asked a random question.

"Sunset."

Nawala ang ngiti ko nang marinig iyon.

"Why sunset?" I asked slowly as I gulped.

She smiled as she watch the sunset.

"Papa told me that mama loves sunset."

I avoided my stare and looked at the sunset. Natahimik kaming dalawa, walang isa ang nagsalita.

"Arabelle. May pagkain doon." Si Lumiere sa likod ang pumutol sa katahimikan.

She stood but I remained seated. Tiningnan niya ako, nagtataka, but my eyes remained on the sunset.

"Kumain ka na." Sabi ko.

She nodded and left. I let out a soft sigh. Akala ko sasamahan siya ni Lumiere but he sat beside me and I furrowed my brows as I stared at hum.

"Do you like her?" He asked seriously, his eyes were on the sky.

"Who?" I avoided my gaze and stared at the sky as well.

I know who he's referring but I still don't want to admit it.

"Kung sinong unang pumasok sa isip mo." He fucking knew how to corner me.

Hindi ko siya sinagot. Binalingan ko ang direksyon ni Arabelle at nakitang nakangiti siya habang katabi si Derobe, may hawak siyang biscuit at tahimik na kumakain.

Do I even deserve to like someone?

"Bakit hindi mo pa siya pakawalan? She's silently battling here. Alone."

I clenched my fist as I remember what happened to her.

"I won't let her go." Mariin kong sabi.

"Bakit? Gusto mo ba siya?" Hamon niyang tanong.

I looked at him indifferently, he challenged me. He's getting protective of her and I hate it. I should be the only one who feels this way.

"Why? Do you like her, Lumiere?" My tone was dangerous, giving him a warn not to say anything stupid.

Mahina siyang natawa at umiling, and instead of being comforted, it annoyed me even more.

"Naaawa ako sa kaniya. Hindi siya rito lumaki at ayaw kong makulong siya rito."

I clenched my jaw as I avoided my gaze.

"Confess before it's too late." And he left me.

I scoffed and shook my head. Nothing would be too late. I have her until the day I want her. I'll never let her go.

"Adam! Kain ka na!" It was Cara.

I sighed and stood. Naghanda sila ng maliit na lamesa at maliit na tent. Cara loves camping on the beach, ilang beses na rin kaming natulog dito dahil sa kagustuhan ni Cara kaya sanay na sanay kaming lahat. This might be Beauty's first time though.

Kaya nang maggabi at kaniya-kaniya na silang set-up ng sarili nilang tent, I went to her. I don't need to worry about Cara because she's an expert on setting her own tent.

Nagkakamot siya ng ulo niya habang binabasa ang instruction na nakalagay roon. That was the note I made Cog brought noong tumabi siya sa kaniya. With of course, a fucking warn.

Buy a tent for her and get your fucking ass away from her.

"You know how to set it up, Beauty?" I asked teasingly when I went close to her.

"Of course!" Mahinang depensa niya and I minutely stop to admire her low pitch shout. It was fucking cute.

"Really? Alam mo ba kung paano simulan?" Hamon ko.

She glared at me and grabbed the materials, wanting to be independent.

"I can do it alone." She said.

I chuckled and went close to her, she protectively hugged the materials and glared at me, shooing me away.

"Come on, Beauty. I know you can do it, but let me help you." I smiled gently at her.

Ngumuso siya pero nagpaubaya na rin. I assisted her but of course, I let her discover things independently. Hanggang sa natapos na nga and she looked so happy.

Cara was already inside her tent, probably watching vlogs or doing her skincare. Lahat sila ay nakapasok na sa kani-kaniyang tent nila pero nanatili ako rito.

"Ikaw?" She softly asked, binalingan ko siya.

"Hmm?"

"Saan ka . . . matutulog?"

"I'll probably sleep on a camping chair. Just outside yours in case you'll have nightmares." Tinuro ko ang camping chair na palagi kong dinadala.

Kumunot ang noo niya habang tinitigan ang silya.

"Hindi ka lalamukin?" She cutely asked.

"I don't get mosquito bites easily. Probably they hate the taste of my blood?" I joked but she didn't laugh.

"Sa . . . loob ka nalang." Nag-iwas siya ng tingin at tinuro ang tent niya.

Nagtaas ako ng kilay. She looked flustered and she'll probably feel uncomfortable beside me, lalo na't malaki ako. Besides, I don't sleep on bed, it felt uncomfortable.

"I don't sleep on bed, Beauty." I gently explained, subtly rejecting her offer.

She pouted, she must've noticed it too. Whenever I lie on bed, I'll always transfer to a chair so I can sleep. Maybe because of trauma? I don't know, it just felt uncomfortable.

"You still have nightmares . . . kahit na sa silya ka natutulog." Her tone was slow, cute, and low.

I stared at her for a while, admiring the flustered look on her voice for a minute.

"Okay . . ." Madali naman ako mapapayag.

Ngumuso siya at nauna nang pumasok sa loob. I felt like the back of my neck was burning, I turned around and saw Lumiere glaring at the distant. He's getting protective of Arabelle. I smirked at him and winked before going inside the tent with her. Mabuti naman at malaki-laki kaunti ang tent niya, kasya sa dalawa, malambot din ang higaan, hindi kasing lambot ng kama pero hindi naman matigas. When I went in, Beauty immediately slid on the other side to give me space. How cute of her.

"Isa lang ang kumot . . ." Problemadong sabi niya.

I chuckled. "You can have it." I said.

"No! Magshe-share tayo!"

When will she stop acting so cute? I'm getting worked up.

She covered her whole body with the blanket, up to her neck. Hindi niya pa rin tinatanggal ang pulang scarf sa leeg niya, maybe because of my presence. Parehas na kaming nakahiga ngayon and we're both facing each other, only that her eyes were shut tight as she firmly gripped the blanket up to her neck.

"I have scar too." I said as I stared at her beautiful face.

Her eyes fluttered opened and our eyes met. I smiled gently at her. Tinanggal ko ang maskarang nakatabon sa mukha ko and her eyes traced the scar on my face. Ever since I covered my face with this mask, I never thought I'd trust someone to see the scar beneath my facade. But when I met her, my heart unconsciously trusted her without hesitation even when my mind dictated me to avoid her.

Do I like her?

I think it was more than that.

"I'm not asking you trust me the way I trust you. I just want you to know that having a scar is still normal." I said gently.

Even when I feel ugly inside.

"You're still handsome." She said quietly.

"I am?" I smirked at her.

She rolled her eyes at me but she nodded slowly.

"Do you think I'm more handsome without this scar?" I asked playfully even when deep inside, this has always been my insecurity.

She stared at my eyes deeply and my heart pounded, expecting to hear a disappointing answer.

"I like it. Your scar." She said.

My lips parted at that, shock at her answer. I . . . never imagine someone liking this scar. It was because this scar reminded me of my ugly past and it made me hate my face whenever I look at the mirror.

"What?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"Your scars . . . I like it." She repeated.

Tangina naman.

"Matulog na tayo." I said and turned my back on her, afraid I might do something stupid.

If she don't stop this, I know I'll do something bad. Wala akong pake kung nandito kami sa tent at may tao sa labas. Kaya mabuti pang iwasan ko muna siya. Hindi pa nakatulong ang boses niyang pakiramdam kong inaakit ako kahit na wala naman siyang ginagawa!

Maya-maya, narinig ko na ang hilik niya. I sighed loud, envying how she can still sleep peacefully while I'm having a hard time controlling myself.

Damn it, Beauty. You made me this crazy.

🥀

"Adam?"

Naalimpungatan ako sa tawag ni Arabelle.

"Ayos ka na ba?" Nag-aalala niyang tanong, I must've had my nightmare again. Thankfully, this time, I didn't remember the dreams I had.

"Nasaan si Adam natulog?"

Napabaling si Arabelle sa labas nang marinig ang boses ni Cara. We were both still inside her tent and based on the light from the outside, it's already morning.

"Hindi ko rin alam. Hindi ko siya nadatnan sa palagi niyang inuupuan." Si Mrs. Potty ang sumagot.

"Baka binisita iyong may-ari ng hotel?" Derobe assumed.

Binalingan ako ni Arabelle at nagtama ang mata namin. I was still lying while she was already seated, her neck was bare and I saw the scar on her throat. She immediately covered it up with her palms when she realized it.

"Saan ang tent ni Arabelle?" It was Cara's question that made her eyes widened in panic.

"Baka anong isipin nila!" She whispered, her voice was barely a whisper and when she whispered, it was as if she was talking to an ant by how small it sounds. And it's cute.

"Hayaan mo na. Baka natutulog pa. Maligo ka muna sa dagat, Cara. Hindi pa naman sikat ang araw." It was Lumiere.

"Okay!" She said happily and I heard her loud giggled from a distant.

Arabelle waited for a perfect timing before she went out and I followed her. Mrs. Potty caught us and her mouth dropped as her eyes widened in shock when she saw me behind Arabelle, coming out of her tent. Si Derobe naman ay napasinghap at kaagad na tinabunan ang bibig. They're overreacting. I haven't done anything yet.

"B-Bakit siya . . ." Bumaling si Derobe kay Arabelle na masama ang tingin sa akin.

"Bakit ka sumunod kaagad!" Galit niyang sabi sa akin. Ang cute niya namang magalit. Her voice felt like scolding a puppy, gentle even when mad.

"Nagsasalita na siya sa 'yo!" Gulat na sigaw ni Lumiere sabay nag-aakusang tingin sa akin. He knew she never talks to me and he can't believe she's already talking. He must've thought I did something bad that she was forced to talk.

She asked me to kiss her! That was her first word!

Kung puwede ko lang sanang ipagmayabang, kaso baka magalit siya. Kahit na cute siya kapag nagagalit, alam ko namang hindi siya komportable kapag ipagkakalat ko 'yon.

"K-Kumain na kayo." Si Mrs. Potty sabay talikod sa amin.

"Hi ate!" Biglaang lumapit ang anak ni Mrs. Potty— Sammy, kay Arabelle. He greeted her happily and Arabelle happily interacted with him.

Hinayaan ko muna siya at lumapit sa lamesa kung nasaan ang mga pagkain. Si Cog ay nag-iihaw ng isda habang si Lumiere naman ay pinagmamasdan ng bawat kilos ko.

"Ate! Ligo tayo!"

Bumaling ako sa kanila at nakita ang bata na inaaya ang ate niyang maligo. I smirked at that.

"Sammy—"

"Sige na, ate! Hindi ako marunong lumangoy! Turuan mo ako! Hindi marunong si ate Cara!" Tulak pa ng bata.

"Marunong naman si Ada—"

"Huwag na lang." Bumagsak ang balikat niya at bumuntong-hininga, kumunot ang noo ko.

Ayaw niyang turuan ko siya?

"S-Sige. Magbibihis lang ako."

Napatingin ako kay Arabelle na nakanguso na. Umalis siya at nagpaalam sa bata kaya masayang-masaya siyang tumango habang tatalon-talon pa papunta sa ina para masabing maliligo siya dahil sasamahan siya ng ate niya.

"Adam! Ligo tayo!" Sigaw sa akin ni Cara sa malayo, I turned to her and she was waving her hand happily.

"Wala pa akong plano!" Iling ko sabay baling sa pagkain.

Hindi pa sikat ang araw kaya maganda sanang maligo, ang kaso ay wala pa akong gana. Si Derobe nalang ang sumama kay Cara sa dagat dahil wala itong kasama at nagkakatuwaan naman ang dalawa. Natapos na ring mag-ihaw si Cog kaya sumama siya sa kanila.

"Adam!" Si Cara, aya niyang muli sa akin.

Umiling ako at aalis na sana nang makita ko si Arabelle na hawak-hawak ang kamay ni Sammy. My brows furrowed as I look at her, shock and mesmerized. She's wearing a black turtleneck rash guard and it looks so good on her body, especially with her natural wavy brown hair. She's wearing shorts and it looks like she's about to really swim. Akala ko inuuto niya lang ang bata.

"Yey! Nandito na si Arabelle!" Si Derobe sabay hampas ng tubig sa kaniya nang unti-unti siyang naglakad sa dagat, she giggled.

"Oh? Akala ko ba wala kang plano?" Sabat ni Lumiere nang naghubad ako ng pang-itaas para maligo rin.

I gave him my death glare.

"May plano na."

🥀