Dedicated to: xxyrrie
To the very first reader who messaged me on wattpad. I love you! You made me cry and made me want to pursue writing even more! I reached 1k! This is a milestone I will forever be thankful! Love you, guys!!

Mahal ko kayong lahat ╥﹏╥
As a thank you gift, here's the special chapter 2

***

Him

Akala ko kapag naging kami na, wala na akong kaagaw.

Madami pa palang nakapila.

Literal.

"Ang ganda ni author! Crush ko siya!" Ani ng babaeng nakapila sa harapan ko.

"Sorry, teh. Asawa ko 'yan." Sabi ng kasama niya.

"Akin siya." Hindi ko napigilang sabat sa dalawang babae.

Sabay nila akong nilingon kasabay ng singhapan ng dalawa. Ang isa ay namula habang ang isa ay nanlaki ang mata.

"Hala ka, teh. Boyfriend niya oh." Tulak ng isa sa babaeng kani-kanina lang inaangkin ang akin.

"H-Hi po! Ang g-gwapo niyo po!" Sabi ng namumulang babae.

"Huwag kayong nang-aangkin ng hindi sa inyo." Seryoso kong sabi, tinuturuan silang huwag gumawa ng masamang bagay dahil masama ang mang-agaw.

Napahiya ang dalawa at yumuko. Nagtaas lang ako ng kilay. Beauty must've noticed it that she turned our way, I smirked at her and she shook her head. Nagpatuloy siya sa pagpirma ng libro kasabay ng pag-usog ng nasa harapan. Ako ang nasa hulihang linya at pagkatapos niyang pirmahan ang libro ko ay isasama ko na siya sa pag-uwi dahil nakakainip na. Kanina pa ako antay nang antay na matapos siya.

"Sinabi ko sa 'yong huwag mo na akong antayin." Aniya nang ako na ang nasa harapan niya sabay lahad ng kamay para ibigay ko ang libro.

So I gave her the book she signed last year. She frowned.

"Napirmahan na 'toh." Aniya.

"Hindi 'yan." Binuksan ko ang libro kaya nanlaki ang mata niya nang makita ang loob.

"Adam!" Her cheeks flushed and she glared at me.

"What? Sign it just like how you signed your reader's books." I feigned innocence.

"Marriage certificate 'to! Seryoso ka?!" She looked at me incredulously.  

Humalakhak ako. It's obviously fake but it could pass as a marriage proposal.

"Ayaw mo?" Kunwari inosente kong tanong.

"Anong ayaw?" She hissed but her cheeks were flushed.

"Maging asawa mo." I motioned the certificate.

"Are you proposing? Seriously? While standing?" Sumimangot siya kaya ngumisi ako.

"Sige, luluhod ako." Sabi ko at umambang luluhod pero kaagad siyang tumayo at pinigilan ako. Mayroon pang natitirang tao kaya alam kong nahihiya siya sa atensyon.

"Tigilan mo ako sa mga pakana mo, Adam!" 

Humalakhak ako nang hinampas niya sa akin ang papel. Hinila niya ako paalis doon dahil nakukuha namin ang atensyon ng dumadaan.

"Ayaw mo ako maging asawa?" Tanong ko nang mapagtantong hindi niya pinirmahan ang marriage certificate ko.

"Tigilan mo 'ko." Nagpatuloy siya sa paghila sa akin pero tumigil ako sa paglalakad at hinila ang kamay niya nang mapagtanto ang katotohanang iyon.

"Ayaw mo akong maging asawa?" Ulit ko, seryoso na.

She glared at me and crossed her arms. "Ang lakas ng trip mo, ah." Hindi niya sinagot ang tanong ko!

I stared at her for a beat, waiting for her to say the thing I wanted to hear but she remained shut. My lips part out of shock as realization downed on me.

Ayaw niya akong maging... asawa?

"Hindi pa ako handa." Iyon ang sagot niya kaya bumaba ang tingin ko sa kamay ko.

"Okay..." Sagot ko sabay tango.

"Huwag ka nang magbibiro ulit." Aniya, seryoso rin.

Hindi ako nagbibiro. May singsing ako sa bulsa ko. Pero tumango nalang ako.

Bakit? Nagbago na ako. Nakokontrol ko na ang emosyon ko... hindi na ako nanakit. Hindi na ako nagwawala. I even got myself a therapist!

"I... I don't get violent anymore." I tried to reason out because maybe... maybe she thought I'm the same Adam from the past.

Kung... kung magkakapamilya man kami, hindi ko sila sasaktan! I would be the best father! Unlike my dad! I'll try my best! I'll make sure I'll be the best husband!

"Alam ko. Umuwi na nga tayo. Kumain ka na?" She tried to change the subject.

I gulped and shook my head. Tumango siya at hinila na ako palapit sa sasakyan ko. Hindi ako nagsalita. Alam kong wala pa siyang tiwala sa akin. Baka... baka natatakot siyang saktan ko siya at ang magiging anak namin? Hindi ko gagawin 'yon! I changed! I really... really changed!

"Adam?"

Doon ako natauhan. Nilingon ko si Arabelle at nasa passenger's seat na siya. Napagtanto kong hindi ko pa pala pinapaandar ang makina kaya nilinis ko ang lalamunan at pinaandar ang sasakyan.

"Beauty." I called in the middle of driving.

"Hmm?"

"I got myself a therapist." I said and I felt her freezing.

"Mabuti..." Ibinaling niya ang buong atensyon sa bintana.

"And my therapist told me I've improved well..." I explained... hoping she'll change her mind.

"Good!" Iyon lang ang sagot niya.

"I don't throw things or hurt other people anymore..." I continued.

"Adam." Seryoso niyang suway kaya sumulyap ako sa kaniya. She was looking at me seriously.

"I've changed..." I said cautiously.

"I know and I'm happy."

Hindi na ako nagsalita, hindi na rin siya nagsalita. Puno ng katanungan ang isipan ko, gusto kong itanong kung bakit hindi pero siguro... masyado pang maaga. Kahit na para sa akin hindi ito maaga. I waited for five years until the day I finally indulged myself. In those five years that we were not together, I felt like I was in hell. And I... I know that a lifetime without her would make my remaining life miserable.

She's not breaking up but why do I feel like she will? Why do I feel lile once I propose to her, she'll break up with me?

She's not ready, respect her, fucker!

"Kumain nalang tayo sa bahay mo. Ako magluluto." Malambing niyang sabi nang mapagtantong natahimik ako.

I bit my lower lips and surpassed my smile. She sounds so fucking cute! Sounds so fucking angelic. I'm addicted.

"Okay..." I tried my best to be serious.

"Okay..." She imitated me with a smile, I breathe out.

I want to kiss her!

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Calm down. Control yourself, Adam.

"Natameme ka." She chuckled, I sighed and let all smile loose.

"Tigilan mo ako. Porket alam mong marupok ako sa 'yo." Irap ko kaya humalakhak siya, napailing nalang ako.

She winked at me and I parked the car outside our house. Beauty went out of the car first and hurried inside. I huffed and went in with her.

Even though I'm a litte... okay, maybe really bothered, I acted like I didn't care. O sadyang marupok lang talaga ako at hinayaan ko nalang kahit na tinanggihan niya ako. Hindi niya man lang sinabi na gusto niya akong maging asawa! I'm not offended because I know I'm not really an ideal husband but I'm a bit hurt.

"Ow!" Reklamo niya kaya ngayon ko lang napagtantong masyado ko yata siyang nasaktan.

"Sorry." I whispered huskily. 

She glared at me, "dahan-dahan!" Paos ang boses niyang reklamo.

"I'll try to be gentle." I promised and looked down on her lips.

"Okay..." then she leaned in to kiss me again, I welcomed her with my tongue.

She tasted good like the usual make-out session. Today, she's extra wild and open, I mean the mouth and tongue, not legs. Maybe it's her way of saying 'sorry, I rejected your proposal' . Hanggang halikan lang kami tumitigil— or more likely I stop before things spiral out of control. At first I chose abstinence because I don't want everything to be too fast for her. I want to give her time and cherish our relationship first before I fuck her brains out. Now I changed my mind.

I'll choose abstinence until she decides to marry me.

That means I won't fuck her unless we get married.

That means I won't make love to her until there's a fucking ring on her finger.

Hindi ko alam kung kakayanin ko ba pero nakayanan ko nga ang limang taon. Kaya ko 'to. Tangina kahit umabot 'to ng sampung taon, kakayanin ko hangga't hindi niya ako pinapakasalan!

"Adam..." She complained when I wrenched from her lips.

Mapupungay ang mata niyang nakatingin sa akin. Her lips were red with blood that I unconsciously bit earlier. Her eyes were in lust and I'm sure I'm mirroring the same expression but I masked it with the determination to 'marry her first before you fuck her brains out' mantra.

"Iuuwi na kita." Sabi ko kaya kumunot ang noo niya.

"Dito na ako matutulog!" This is the first time she's initiating to sleep here. Maybe because she feels sorry and I'm even more determine to narrate my mantra. 'Marry her first before you fuck her brains out, bastard.'

"Hindi na. Iuuwi kita. Baka hinahanap ka ni Ro—"

"Hayaan mo 'yon! Alam niyang ikaw ang kasama ko." She insisted.

"Iuuwi—"

"Dito ako matutulog!" Giit niya.

Damn this stubborn beauty. I released a heavy breath and a smirk formed into her lips. She fucking knew she's my weakness.

"Fine. Matulog na tayo." Sabi ko sabay hawak sa baywang niya para maibaba siya sa kandungan ko.

Nawala ang ngisi niya at halatang gustong magreklamo pero bago niya pa ako maakit ay hinila ko na siya paakyat sa bahay. Natahimik siya nang nakaakyat sa ikalawang palapag kaya binitiwan ko siya. She didn't mind though, nauna siyang naglakad papunta sa kuwarto ko na ngayon niya lang napasok dahil sa ilang buwan kong pagpipigil sa kaniya na huwag pumasok sa kuwarto.

But I won't give her the satisfaction.

A small smirk formed into my lips when she turned to me but my feet remained outside my room.

"Pasok na." Aniya sa akin.

"Sa guestroom ako matutulog." Mahinahon kong sabi kaya nanlaki ang mata niya.

"Ha? Bakit? Kuwarto mo 'to!" Mahinang reklamo niya.

"Diyan ka matulog. Sa guestroom ako." 

"Pero—" I stepped a little and kissed her forehead before stepping back.

"Good night, Beauty." I said and turned my back on her.

"Adam!" Reklamo niya sa likod.

Inosente ko siyang nilingon. Masama ang tingin niya sa akin.

"Bakit?" Kunwari nalilito kong tanong.

"Tabi tayong matulog!" She demanded. Fucking cute and adorable.

"Bawal 'yon." Mahinahon kong sabi kaya nanlaki ang mata niya.

"H-Huh?"

"Hindi pa tayo kasal kaya bawal tayo magtabi sa isang kama." I explained and her jaw dropped.

"Anong— nakalimutan mo yatang ginawa na natin 'to sa Casa Cantatio?!"

"Ahh..." I scratched my nape. "That was before my belief. Now I believe that a girl and a boy should not sleep together unless they're married." Sabi ko kaya napasinghap siya.

"You can't be serious..."

"I am serious, Beauty." I smiled at her, mas lalo siyang nairita.

"Sige! Panindigan mo 'yan!" She banged the door loud, I chuckled. She looked like a fucking mad cat and have I said it enough? She's fucking cute and adorable.

Sabi niya, panindigan ko raw ang sinabi ko. Pinanindigan ko naman. Kaya lang...

"What the fuck is that?!" I hissed when I saw her with a 'fuck me' dress.

"A nightgown." She said innocently.

Kaya pala.... kaya pala sinabi niya sa aking may bibilhin siya sa mall. Ito ang binili niya?! It was even yellow, yellow should not look seductive but she fucking is.

"Change." I looked away and glared at the food in front of me.

"Wala namang tao. Ikaw lang naman." She said innocently.

"That's why. Change."

She chuckled seductively. I stabbed the apple with a knife, so hard, I feel physically in pain. Fuck it.

"I'm not conservative Adam so it's okay if you can't control it..." She whispered beside me but my eyes remained on the fruit.

"Let us respect my belief." That's all I said before I started my usual mantra 'marry her first before you fuck her brains out'.

Mabuti naman at napatunayan ko kung gaano ko nadidisiplina ang sarili dahil ilang beses siyang sumubok na akitin ako at tangina, naaakit ako kaya lagi akong nahihirapan pero nanatili akong desidido sa desisyon ko.

"Marry me and I'll fuck you until you feel heaven." I whispered when things escalated quickly after our usual make-out session. Pinagbigyan ko siya ngayong halikan ako at pinagsisihan ko iyon dahil kaunti nalang ay bibigay na ako.

"Why wait until marriage? We can do it now." She whispered as her chest heaved.

"No." I resist.

"Come on! I'm giving you consent!" Simangot niya.

"Nope. I'll fuck you on our honeymoon." I promised... to her and to my fucking hard self.

Stay there, buddy. We can make it until marriage. After marriage, I promise to tame you. Just wait a little longer.

Looks like she knew how much discipline I have that she gave up.

When I say give up, I mean not only did she stop seducing me, but she also stopped answering my calls, texts, and refused to have a date with me!

"Beauty..." 

"Anong ginagawa mo rito? 'Di ba nandidiri ka sa akin?" That's what she chose to beleive! 

"I'm not!." I said truthfully but just like the other times, she didn't listen.

"Nandidiri ka kaya ayaw mo akong hawa—" I shut her up with a bruising kiss that she groaned against my lips.

"It's not that. I just want to marry you..." I said after the kiss, still chasing my breath.

Nag-iwas siya ng tingin  kaya bumuntong-hininga ako.

"I'm not pressuring you to marry me but I just want you to know that I'm willing to wait." I said assuringly.

Hindi niya ako nilingon kaya hinawakan ko ang kamay niya. Tears formed on her lids and I panicked.

"Fuck! Beauty. Why are you crying?" I wiped her tears but it continued.

"A-Adam..." Her voice was broken and it shattered my heart into pieces.

"What is it, hmm?" I gently tugged her close to me and she let me wipe her tears.

"I... I sometimes h-hear voices." Her voice was as quiet as the night sky.

That made me stop. Not just my hand but my whole world. I felt like my heart stopped beating for a minute.

"I-I'm getting b-better. But sometimes... they're there. And I-I'm still afraid. What if I won't heal until I give birth to our children? What if—"

"Shh... it's okay." I hugged her tight, fucking embraced her and she sobbed in my arms.

I... I didn't know this. I didn't know and I wish I knew it.

"If you hear voices. Tell me and I'll shut them out. I don't know how but if you're scared I'll hug you 'till you fall asleep." I said and she sobbed more. My heart wrenched into different form of torture but I endured it because she's my rose, I'm willing to endure all the pain.

"H-Hindi ka natatakot? Baka pati anak natin maka—"

"Hindi ako natatakot, Arabelle. Sasamahan kita. We'll battle against your demons. We'll get through this together, okay?" I whispered assuringly.

That day, she slowly opened up to me. How the events from the past triggered her mind and how it went chaotic. And I waited slowly, listened attentively, and embraced her fully. I waited and happily waited.

Until on day, we saw a kid passing by us. She uttered.

"I want a family with you, Adam."

Roses and sunset will always be my favorite thing aside from my wife and children.

🥀