unpleasant thoughts

I don't know if I should continue. I don't know why people are so nice to me. I don't know why I'm still breathing. I could just end it, take those pills and die peacefully. I don't know why I'm still here, walking around my kitchen and helping my mom out by putting the dishes away. As I place each one up, I don't know how I did it. I don't know how I'm surviving. I feel myself hold back tears here and there at times. I don't know how I'm doing it because I can recall all the horrid things people have said to me or behind my back. Their words have burned into my memory and I hear them every day. I don't know how I'm doing it. I don't know if I should continue or how I should continue. I just know, I will forever have these unpleasant thoughts.

a.b.