depression: a slam poem

Depression,
You were always there for me,
You were that voice that used to comfort me,
Then you got worse,
And I began starving myself,
Then when I thought everything was bad enough,
I began to have sleep deprivation which turned into insomnia.
Then you invited anxiety to the party.
You, depression, are not a friend.
You are the voice in the back of people's minds who tells them they are not good enough.
You are the toxic person everyone needs to get rid of in life.
But what's worse,
I couldn't get rid of you,
I couldn't say goodbye,
And you stayed with me for 4 almost 5 years,
I never had the voice to get help,
I found that I was better off writing down my feelings than saying them to an actual person who is qualified to give me pills that I need to get better,
I know you don't work that way with others,
I know I've had you for a long time than others,
I know, I probably went on a long time without telling someone about you than others,
I know that I'm tired of you,
I'm tired of being numb,
I'm tired of feeling like I'm not good enough,
I've seen past your evil lies.
I've seen past you and your friend's insomnia and anxiety.
But once in a while,
Once you hit me,
I begin to fall apart all over again.
You get worse each time I break too.
But I will not let you force me into dragging that damn razor across my thigh again.
Depression, I've mistaken you for someone that cared.
When in reality, you were only making things worse for me.
But, I can't get rid of you that easily.
You lurk over my shoulder waiting for me.

a.b.