Each one of us have a different way of dealing with sadness and grief. Some like to drown in it until they can't breathe while some of them barely even touch the surface of the deep waters, let alone explore the depths of the dark secrets it might hold. As for Layla, she prefered to sit all by herself, in solace and wander down the alley of her dark memories.
Glancing up to see who walks by, hoping it's someone she knows and getting back to her work, agitated. But she was used to it, used to being solitary. Eating in empty classrooms, hoping nobody finds her and asks her to come along with them for her faith, it's shaken. I've always wondered why.
Call it the concern of a good passerby, but I've always wondered why she never hangs out with her peers, her companions, why she never laughs so hard that she can barely breathe or why she always hesitates before she speaks.
Why does she chooses to swim in the abyssal depths all alone? Her smile, prettier than the flowers that bloom in the spring, her presence, warmer than the sun. Now you're telling me she does not have the charm to make people adore her? Funny.
She wants to be seen and heard, yet she hates being put in the spotlight, why? Maybe she can't stand being recognised for who she really is, for the talents she's got, for the things that she deserves. Is it because she thinks she doesn't deserve it? Or it is because she doesn't believe in herself?
What's it like to be seen and heard? Does it feel nice? Does it make you feel like you matter, matter to the people you so selflessly sacrificed yourself to? But I wonder, Layla, what is really keeping you here? Just empty sidewalks and hallways as you walk through them, you shoes squeaking. I wonder, what do you really have at the end of the day? Someone you could return to, you could turn to? Tell me, does it ever get lonely or are you just used to being an outsider? That feeling of being an outcast, a mere bystander in the lives of the ones you give your world to, always trying to fit in somewhere so you could feel safe and sound, something that could make you feel at home, will you ever escape it? I wonder why.

~ vishakha 🍂