It had been a few months since the incident with Irene. It was raining outside and Sherlock was looking at something on his microscope. He had been doing that a lot lately. It had helped him get his mind off of Irene. He refused to call her anything other than The Woman. Alex was sitting with him when she got a text. It was from Mycroft.

Meet me outside.

Alex quickly made an excuse and grabbed her jacket and went outside. Sherlock had barely even let her know that he had heard her. As soon as she stepped outside, she was soaked. Mycroft was standing under an umbrella, smoking.

"You don't smoke." Alex said.

"I also don't frequent cafes." Mycroft said. He closed the umbrella and went inside. Alex followed him.

They sat down at a table. Alex ordered some chips, but Mycroft didn't get anything. He took out a baggie with some papers and the camera phone in it.

"It this the file on Irene Adler?" Alex asked.

"Closed forever." Mycroft smiled. "I am about to go and inform my brother or, if you prefer, you are that she somehow got herself into a witness protection scheme in America. New name, new identity. She will survive and thrive. But he will never see her again."

"Why would he care?" Alex asked. "He dispised her at the end. Won't even mention her by name, just The Woman." 

"Is that loathing or a salute?" Mycroft asked. "One of a kind, the one woman who matters."

"I matter to him." Alex said. "Not in that way, but still, I matter. He's not like that. I don't think he feels things in that way." 

"My brother has the brain of a scientist of philosopher, yet he elects to be a detective." Mycroft said. "What might we deduce about his heart?"

"I don't know." Alex shook her head. 

"Neither do I." Mycroft said. "But initially, he wanted to be a pirate."

"He'll be okay with this witness protection, never seeing her again." Alex said. "He'll be fine." 

"I agree. That's why I decided to tell him that." Mycroft said.

"Instead of what?" Alex asked.

"She's dead." Mycroft said. "She was captured by a terrorist cell in Karachi two months ago and beheaded."

"Is it really her? She's done this before." Alex said. 

"I was thorough this time." Mycroft said. "It would take Sherlock Holmes to fool me. And I don't think he was on hand, do you?"

"No." Alex said. "To be honest, I'm glad she's dead." 

"So...what should we tell Sherlock?" Mycroft asked, pushing the file towards Alex.

"I'll tell him what really happened." Alex sighed. She took the files and went back to the flat. 

Alex walked into the kitchen, seeing that Sherlock hadn't moved. He didn't look up at her.

"Clearly you've got news." He said. "Spill it." 

"It's about Irene Adler." Alex said. 

"Oh?" Sherlock looked up. He sounded so hopeful, which broke Alex's heart. "Did something happen, did she come back?"

"No, she's, uh...I just bumped into Mycroft upstairs. He had to take a call." Alex said.

"Is she back in London?" Sherlock said. 

"No, she's..." Alex took a deep breath. She couldn't do this to Sherlock. "She's in America." 

"America?" Sherlock tilted his head.

"Yeah." Alex nodded. "Got herself in a witness protection scheme, apparently. I don't know how she swung it, but, you know."

"I know what?" Sherlock asked.

"Well, you won't be able to see her again." Alex said. 

"Why would I want to see her again?" Sherlock asked.

"I didn't say you did." Alex said, shaking her head.

"Is that her file?" Sherlock asked, gesturing to the file in Alex's arms.

"Yes, I was just going to take it back to Mycroft." Alex said. "Do you want to take a look?"

"No." Sherlock shook his head. There was a moment of silence.

"Listen, actually-" Alex started.

"But I will have the camera phone." Sherlock said. 

"There's nothing on it anymore." Alex said.

"I know, but I'll still have it." Sherlock said. He held his hand out.

"I've got to give this back to Mycroft, you can't have it." Alex said. Sherlock didn't retract his hand. "Sherlock, I have to give this to Mycroft. It's the government's now, I couldn't-"

"Please, Alex." Sherlock said.

It was the first time Sherlock had ever said please to Alex. That was what got her. She sighed and took the phone out. She set the phone in his hand. She kissed him on the cheek to be friendly.

"Happy late or early birthday." She said. Sherlock smiled.

"Thank you." He said, putting the phone in his pocket.

"Well, I'd better take this back." Alex said. 

"Yes." Sherlock nodded. 

Before leaving, Alex looked at Sherlock over her shoulder. "Did she ever text you again?"

"Once, a few months ago." Sherlock said. 

"What'd she say?" Alex asked.

"Goodbye, Mr. Holmes." Sherlock said.

Alex left the flat, close to tears. She felt terrible for Sherlock. absolutely terrible. Once she was gone, Sherlock took the camera phone out and went to stand at the window. He scrolled through the various texts Irene had sent him. He paused on the last one.

(Two Months Earlier)

Things were being shouted around Irene in a language she couldn't understand. A man with a sword walked up to her. She was on her knees. She typed a text into her phone, ignoring the man who was trying to take it from her.

Goodbye, Mr. Holmes. 

Irene hit the send button, tears pouring down her face. She felt the sword on the back of her neck. She closed her eyes, preparing to die. She suddenly heard the sighing noise on Sherlock's phone. Her eyes flew open and she smiled hopefully. She looked up at the executioner. 

Sherlock.

"When I say run, run." He said.

He swung the sword, killing the only other person there besides himself and Irene. She smiled. 

(Present Day)

Sherlock laughed as he recalled the memory. He flipped the camera phone and caught it easily. He shook his head at the phone, smiling.

"The Woman." He said. "The Woman." 

He put the phone in the drawer and shut it, shutting Irene Adler out of his life, forever.

(SEASON 2 EPISODE ONE = DONE)

It had been several months since Alex had told Sherlock about Irene. She still thought he believed her. Sherlock stepped through the door to the flat, breathing hard. He'd just come back from a case. Alex looked up to welcome him and gasped. Sherlock was covered from the waist up in blood. He was also carrying some sort of weapon akin to Loki's sceptor in the Avengers.

"Well, that was tedious." He said simply. 

"Are you hurt?" Alex asked. She walked up to him and then backed away.

"Whew, you stink!" She said. 

"You went on the tube like that?" John asked.

"None of the cabs would take me." Sherlock said.

"Go take a shower!" Alex said.

Sherlock nodded and went into the bathroom. Several hours later, he was pacing in his pajamas. He was suffering a withdrawl from his ciggeretes. John and Alex had forced him to try to quit. He was already bored out of his mind without a case.

"Anything?" He asked John.

"Military coup in Uganda." He said.

"Hm." Sherlock said.

"Another photo of you with the hat." John smiled.

"Oh." Sherlock said.

"Cabinet reshuffled." John said.

"Nothing of importance." Sherlock said. He banged the pole on the ground. "OH, GOD! Alex, I need some. Get me some." 

"No." Alex said.

"Get me some." Sherlock ordered.

"No! We agreed, cold turkey, no matter what." Alex said. "Anyway, you paid everyone off, remember? No one within a two mile radius will sell you any." 

"Stupid idea, whose idea was that?" Sherlock asked.

"Yours." Alex smirked.

"Mrs. Hudson!" Sherlock said.

He started rummaging through things frantically, as if his life depended on it. Alex and John looked at each other and sighed.

"Sherlock, you're doing really well." Alex said gently. "I don't want you to get lung cancer and die. Don't give up now!"

"Tell me where they are! Please, tell me!" Sherlock said. He gave Alex puppy eyes. "Please?"

"Can't help, sorry." She said. 

"John?" Sherlock said.

"I'm not helping you either." John said.

"I'll let you know next week's lottery numbers." Sherlock offered.

"I don't do the lottery." Alex said.

"It was worth a try." Sherlock muttered.

He dove to the fire place and started looked there. Alex started laughing. Mrs. Hudson came into the flat.

"Yoo hoo!" She said. (Yoo hoo, family!)

"My secret supply, what have you done with my secret supply?" Sherlock asked.

"Hm?" Mrs. Hudson said.

"Ciggeretes! What have you done with them, where are they?" Sherlock said.

"You know you never let me touch your things." Mrs. Hudson said. "Oh, chance would be a fine thing."

"I thought you weren't my housekeeper." Sherlock said. 

"I'm not." Mrs. Hudson said.

"How about a nice cuppa?" Mrs. Hudson said. "Perhaps you could put away your harpoon." 

"I need something stronger than tea!" Sherlock said. "Seven percent stronger."

Sherlock suddenly realized he needed to deduce something. He looked to Mrs. Hudson and pointed his harpoon at her.

"You've been to see Mr. Chatterjee again." He said.

"Sherlock..." Alex started.

"Pardon?" Mrs. Hudson said.

"Sandwhich shop." Sherlock said. "That's a new dress, but there's flower on the sleeve. You wouldn't dress like that for baking. Thumbnail, tiny traces of foil. Been at stratch cards again. We all know where that leads, don't we? Hmm, Kasbah Nights, pretty racy for the first thing on a Monday morning, wouldn't you agree? I've written a little blog on the identifications of perfumes. It's on the website, you should look it up.

"Please." Mrs. Hudson rolled her eyes.

"I wouldn't pin your hopes on that cruise with Mr. Chatterjee, he's got a wife in Doncaster that nobody knows about." Sherlock said.

"SHERLOCK!" Alex said. "That's enough!"

"Nobody except me." Sherlock continued.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Mrs. Hudson said. "I really don't!"

She slammed the door on the way out and Alex winced. Sherlock climbed over the back of his chair and sat down on it, drumming his fingers on the arms. John looked at Sherlock.

"What the bloody hell was that about?" John asked.

"You don't understand." Sherlock said. 

"Go after her and apologize." Alex said.

"Apologize?" Sherlock said. 

"Yep." Alex nodded.

"Oh, Alex, I envy you so much." Sherlock said.

"You envy me?" Alex said. 

"Your mind, it's so simple, so placid, straightforward, barely used." Sherlock said. "Mine's like and engine, racing out of control. A rocket, tearing itself to peices, trapped on the launch pad. I need a case!"

"You've just solved one, by harpooning a dead pig apparently!" John said.

"Oh that was this morning, when's the next one?" Sherlock said.

"Nothing on the website?" Alex said.

Sherlock handed John his laptop and started to read the email that had been sent to him in a high-pitched voice.

"Dear Mr. Sherlock Holmes,
I can't find Bluebell anywhere. Please, please, please, can you help?"

"Bluebell?" Alex said.

"A rabbit, Alex!" Sherlock said.

"Oh." Alex said.

"Ah, but there's more!" Sherlock said. "Before Bluebell disappeared, it turned luminous! 'Like a fairy!' according to little Kirstie. Then the next morning, Bluebell was gone! Hutch still locked, no sign of a forced entry. Wait, what am I saying? This is brilliant! Phone Lestrade, tell him there's an escaped rabbit!"

"Are you serious?" Alex laughed.

"It's either this, or Cluedo." Sherlock said.

"Nope, we are never playing that again." Alex said.

"Why?" Sherlock asked.

"Remember what happened last time?" Alex said.

(A few months earlier)

Sherlock, Alex, and John were sitting on the floor, a Cluedo board in the middle of them. Alex turned to Sherlock.

"Sherlock, your turn." She said.

"I want to guess." Sherlock said.

"And we both lose!" Alex turned to John.

"I think the victim killed himself." Sherlock said. 

"Ok, we both don't lose." Alex said.

"What do you mean?" Sherlock asked.

"The victim can't do it." Alex said. "It's not in the rules."

"Then the rules are wrong." Sherlock shrugged.

"Sherlock, take a look at the manuel." Alex handed him the manuel. Sherlock flipped through it and then threw it across the room. 

"I want to play it my way, therefore I win." Sherlock siad.

"Sherlock, you don't win." Alex said.

"Yes I do!" Sherlock said. 

"No you don't!" Alex said. "You're being stupid!"

"I'M NOT STUPID!" Sherlock yelled.

He grabbed the Cluedo bored and a kitchen knife. He threw the knife and the Cluedo bored. The Cluedo bored was stuck in the wall now with a knife holding it in. Alex and John gaped at Sherlock. Sherlock was panting.

"Sorry..." Alex said. 

"It's fine." Sherlock said. Suddenly, they all burst out laughing. The incident had actually been quite funny.

"We are never playing this game again." Alex said.

(Present Day)

"Oh yeah." Sherlock said. The doorbell suddenly rang.

"Single ring." John said.

"Maximum pressure, just under half-a second." Sherlock said. "Client." 

"Finally." Alex said. "I cannot express how badly you need a case."

--------------------------------

Finally, we are done with ASiB (A Scandal in Belgravia)! The Theme Song for The Hound of Baskerville will be Who Let the Dogs Out for obvious reasons. I'll put it in the next chapter.