Caleb
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Watching as the houses pass by.
Watching as the days of my life pass by.
Watching as every single bit of my life falls apart.

I can still hear her screams... the tears...
Her light was killed...
She was...

"CALEB ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!!" Matthew, my best mate or more like the only person left by my side tolerating my moody self after all this time, shouted waving his right hand in front of me.

"No." I say as I give him a blank look trying yet again to look outside or more like lose myself to my hell nuisance of random thoughts.

"Mate I know things have been...tough." And here we go again. One of his long lasting, never ending infamous speeches is about to knock the door one more time. " And I know you go through hell every damn second you think of her but it's already been a year, give or take. Try to get your life back together. Stop acting like a goddamn loser..." Yet another lecture from the mighty speaker, Matthew The Great. Told ya it was gonna be there.

He blabbers almost 24/7 and apparently no amount of food will ever be enough for him. He eats more than a bear after a long hibernation, but still he's the guy that most girls sent their dead wishes for, because of all the hearts he's broken.

But all that aside he's the best friend that wouldn't ever leg you down. He was there then I broke. When I shattered. Became a 'Loser'. And most importantly he still is here by my side stronger than ever.

He lost her too and he's hurt too but he's dealing with it quite maturely unlike myself.

I resorted to cigarettes and beers. New "replacements" for the inreplaceable. Helps the pain to go away although it's temporary but still a help nevertheless. Sometimes you just need the few second's numbness in your high state of mind.

"Try to have fun" He says giving me the sharpest glare he could master through the front mirror.
'Sure...since that's the only thing I specialise on.' I thought to myself as I rolled my dark shade of once a honey brown pair.

After he parks his car in the lot of a quite fancy house wich will be trashed by daytime, we got out. Ben always liked to be a show off by throwing the best parties when his parents where out , which is more that a lot.

"I'll try." I say giving him the best closed mouth smile which will for sure give him the massage to leave me alone.

I'm going to have fun but not the way he means it.
I'm going to drown myself in all the beer I can find and then crash on one of the finest beds and forger about reality.

With every step the music became louder till the point I could feel it vibrating through me. Through the way inside we met a couple of guys, sent them our acknowledgement and just headed inside.
Not thrilled to meet the fake.

Inside was just filled with people. Wouldn't take much time before the house explodes.
Everyone was dancing and just letting go. Letting the music guide them or rather command them. A few guys were trying their lucks to get an easy lay. And I might have got more than a few girls desperate winking or throwing flirtious looks my way. And it's only been 5 minutes!

Can't wait for the rest of the night to get outta hand. Lucky me, I ain't gonna be sober to see them doing far worst that what they'll regret.

Parting ways with Matt I make my way to the small bar at the corner to get myself drunk with the strongest beer I can find.

The bar was full. Man if this doesn't make you happy then I don't know what will. This gives my shitty day a petite ray of an almost sunlight.
Grabbing myself a bottle of Vodka I happily take a sip letting the bitter taste burn it's way down my throat.

'This baby will make me forget about
you, Evelyn.' I say to myself as I walk towards the stairs already feeling light weighted.

I need to find myself somewhere to crash before people start calling it a night and come up with their fun partners to scew.

Empty hallway...just the way I like it!

I grab the hold of the first room I find presentable and walk in. To my utter luck (call me a lucky man, why don't you) I come face to face with the scene that will forever hunt my ever present nightmares.

The guy was pressing the delicate girl to bed. Probably the start of a sex adventure. But it all seemed forced... way too forced. They were so caught up that they didn't even notice my statue like presence.

What caught my attention to have me stay put,unable to walk, was the girl. The delicate blonde was muttering something along the lines of 'sorry' or 'get off of me'. She was too weak for him. Obvious... . The guy was the next hulk with the fake tan as a skin colour.

Disgusting!

As I cursed my imaginations was planning to close the door and try to forget whatever my poor eyes were victim enough to see, the girl turned.

Evelyn...!
That's Evelyn...!
My Evelyn...!
No!...no it can't be!
It's just the Vodka playing tricks with my mind.
But...
The same sun-kissed blonde hair which fell around her like a waterfall of golden curls.
The same fair skin.

Her face had crystal tears falling down and her ever shining eyes were bloodshot from all the tears.

That's when I lost it.

NO ONE WILL EVER HURT MY EVELYN AGAIN.

I pounced on the guy who turned out to be Dave and caught him off guard.
Taking his startled state to my advantage, I punched him.
I punched him with all the anger I had bottled up all this time.
I punched him with all the hate I had in me. I punched him hard.

I saw red. All I wanted to do was kill him for even trying to hurt her.
Now that she's back, I'm gonna protect her even if that's the last thing I do.
I get a few punches and kicks too but it was like I felt numb to the pain. I felt nothing compared to the joy of having Evelyn back and being able to hold her tight and not ever letting her get away from me.

"Stop... you're killing him." A soft wisper was heard and I turn around to find Evelyn being the speaker.
She looked so small and so...so...scared.

As of instantly I let go.
Dave was left unconcious and I didn't care.
All I saw was her. Finally her.

I walked towards her and just enveloped her in my hug. She felt cold compared to my hit. I held her tighter but she flinched, trying to push me away. It hurted my heart beyond words could ever express that she was scared of me. Me of all!
But I didn't let go. It had been so long since I had held her petite figure. I'm never gonna let her go.

After a long while of her protest I finally let go and looked in her eyes expecting to be met with the blinding glow they always carried but there wasn't anything like that. No mischief either.

It wasn't the same skies of unexpected mischief!

They were blue alright but...but not the blue I want. Not the precious baby blue I'd grown to adore.
No! they were a darker shade.

I should have known. I hoped for the impossible!

You fool, there is no Evelyn. She's gone. He killed her. He took her away. It is always him fucking up everything. He screwed up my already messed up life which was in the first place his goddamn fault.

Feeling mad or rather furious with myself I let the disappointment swallow me whole as I jerked myself away from the so called Evelyn look alike and punched the wall, letting out a cry of pain which ever so quickly faded in sounds all around. Pain wasn't physical it was farther worst. It was emotional. It came from all the broken pieces shattering ever farther, into smaller pieces.

Sinking to the ground I pull my knees to my chest and run my hands through my hair pulling it here and there trying to ease up the the eternal melt down.

"I'm sorry." The look alike spoke up gently.

'What is she sorry for?!' I laugh to myself. 'Sorry' will never get back Evelyn.

Heaving a sigh filled with utter pain, I tried to look at her. I tried to look at her but all see was Evelyn.
No wonder they say alcohol kills brain cells. Mine are far worst than died they gone for good with the drinking problem I've managed to strike up in such a short while.

She gently touches my shoulder and I look up. The hesitation is her actions is as clear as a summer daylight.

"You... um... you've injured your um... knuckles. I...I think we should clean it up." She stutters as she ever so uncomfortably fights to finish her sentence.
I look into her eyes to remind myself it's not Eve it's just her dumblganger or whatever.

Looking at my knuckles I see the bloody mess as blood oozed out.

"Funny how you had felt nothing until she mentioned it."

Life is hard...In many ways...!
One worst than the other...!

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Xoxo
Sky 8)