This is probably the longest epilogue I've ever written so far. 😄 I hope you won't get tired of reading Benjamin's POV hehe. Again, thank you so much for reading this story! 💛 Wouldn't have done it without you. 

Songs: Perfect- Travis Garland (cover)

Incomplete- sisqo

  Say You Won't Let Go- James Arthur 

In The Silence- JP Cooper

Half A Heart- One Direction

No One Else Comes Close- Joe

Benjamin

She's freaking annoying.

"Bro, she freaking insulted me by comparing my balls to tweety fucking bird!" I said out of frustration.

Hinding hindi ko talaga magawang kalimutan ang lahat ng sinabi ng babaeng iyon sa akin nung isang gabi. It wasn't my fault that I only want the punch and it's also not my fault that she's not looking in her way.

The music's loud but that didn't stop me from ranting. Hanggang ngayon hindi parin maalis sa isip ko ang lahat ng sinabi niya! I admire her guts for taking the risk of comparing my balls to tweety bird but damn! I was insulted!

No one ever insulted me like that! Natatanging siya lang!

My friends' mouth turned into a big 'O'. Later on, they burst out of laughter. Sinamaan ko sila ng tingin. Seriously? They have the time to laugh at me huh?

Nagkatinginan silang dalawa. Binagsak ko ang hawak na shot glass at seryoso silang tiningnan. They turned serious, too, when they saw my reaction. Ngunit ilang segundo ang makalipas, tumawa na naman silang muli.

Yeah, I know. What I've been through at that business party is fucking funny and insulting.

"Damn, Benj. Who would've ever thought of comparing your balls to... Tweety bird!?" Charles asked in between his laughter.

"Tss..." umiling ako at tsaka kumuha ng panibagong shot glass. Humilig ako sa upuan at tsaka inalala ang lahat ng nangyari noong isang gabi.

"Benj, are you available on Saturday? Gusto sana namin kayong isama ni Brittany sa business party." Ani Mama habang kumakain kami ng hapunan.

"Absolutely. Wala naman po akong masyadong gagawin ngayong sabado."

Ngumiti si Mama at tsaka ibinaling muli ang tingin sa kanyang kinakain. "Good. We would love to introduce you to someone."

Umangat ang kilay ko. I tried to hide my smirk but I can't. Is it a girl? I hope she's my type.

I love going to business parties. The reason why I always wanted to come is that I always have the opportunity to meet a lot of beautiful girls.

I have to admit that I was a man whore before. I've been with a lot of girls. I've had a lot of one nightstands. I had girlfriends but I didn't take that relationship seriously.

I always try to have fun. I was living my life to the fullest and I thought that I'd be contented with that. But everything's changed when I met her...

"Look what you did to my dress!" the girl shouted at me.

Napaatras ako at itinaas ang dalawa kong kamay. I cocked my head to the side and shrugged my shoulders.

"I'm sorry, princess, but you're not watching your way," I said.

That's the truth! I was carefully trying to sip on my punch when this girl freaking bumped into me. Tapos ngayon pinapamukha niya sa akin na ako ang may kasalanan? Wow! Just wow!

"So it is my fault now? How fucking dare you, mister? You're walking in the wrong way! Can't you see that the line starts at the dessert table! It doesn't fucking start at this punch!"

I shrugged my shoulders again. I still think it's not my fault though.

"Well, it's not my fault that I only want the punch and not the dessert!"

Mukha namang nabigla siya sa sinabi ko. What's wrong? I'm only trying to defend myself from all her accusations. Pinipilit niyang ako ang may kasalanan. Well, I'm sorry... hindi ko na kasalanan kung hindi siya tumitingin sa dinadaanan niya.

So annoying.

"Oh, did I ruin your dress, princess?" I asked her teasingly. Galit niyang inangat muli ang tingin sa akin.

"Why can't you just say sorry?"

Kumunot ang noo ko nang dahil sa sinabi niya. Huh? Why would I? Ang sabi ko nga, hindi ko naman kasalanan. So, why bother?

She clenched her jaw. Kulang nalang may lumabas na usok sa kanyang ilong nang dahil sa galit. I smirked. Ganito pala magalit ang isang prinsesa ha?

Pinasadahan ko siya ng tingin mula ulo hanggang paa, hanggang sa natigil ito sa dibdib niya. I scoff.

Ha! This princess has enough confidence to wear a plunging neckline dress huh? Akala ko masyadong conservative ang mga prinsesa. Hindi pala.

"And now you're looking at my chest, you moron!" she said then she started hitting me which to me was a surprise.

Tila ba nawala ang kanyang postura bilang isang prinsesa nang dahil sa ginawa kong pagtitig sa dibdib niya. Sa tingin niya ba interesado ako? Oh, hell no!

"Don't worry. I've seen much bigger boobs than that. Yours are like... non-existent." I said to tease her more.

When I saw that her jaw dropped because of my remark, that's where I knew that I was winning. Ngunit nang sinimulan niya akong insultuhin pabalik ay tila ba nagkamali ako sa iniisip.

I wasn't winning. I'm always bound to lose especially when it comes to her.

"Hahahaha! Tweety Bird! Tweety bird!" Bradley teased. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Tss... fuck off, Brad!" I said and I pushed him away.

"Now that made me more confident about mine." Dagdag niya. Marahas kong ibinaling muli ang tingin sakanya.

"So, what are you trying to say huh? Na totoo ang sinasabi ng babaeng 'yon?!"

Bradley raised his arm defensively bago ko pa siya tuluyang masapak. First of all... why am I telling this to them? I should've known better. Pagtatawanan lang nila ako! This is all because of that annoying girl! I didn't know she knows how to insult an overly confident man like me!

What a fucking surprise!

Kung akala niya tapos na ako sakanya... nagkakamali siya. Once I get to see her again, I will tease the hell out of her hanggang sa mainis siya sa akin. I need to get even.

"Kelsey's on her way here now. Sayang at hindi pa tayo makakapagsama ng matagal dahil sigurado ako na mag-iinit na naman ang dugo noon kapag nakita niya itong si Benjamin."

So, hindi parin pala siya nakakamove on tungkol sa nangyari noong business party ha? I'm glad to know that. At least, matutuloy parin ang plano ko na inisin pa siya lalo.

I smirked when I saw her coming nearer. Nang makita niya ako ay bakas sa mukha niya ang pagkadismaya. She rolled her eyes at me.

Damn... feisty, isn't she?

Nang makalapit siya ng tuluyan ay hindi niya ibinaling ang tingin sa akin. Hmm... trying to distance herself huh? Is she acting like I'm not here? Well... I wouldn't let her succeed. I will make her notice me.

"Hello po. Good evening." bati niya kay Mama.

When she finished kissing my mom on her cheek, I cleared my throat to get her attention.

"Where's my greeting, princess?" I asked while I smiled playfully at her.

Nakita ko ang pagbabago ng ekspresyon niya. She's irritated at me just as much as I am irritated with her. At least the feeling's mutual.

"Stop calling me princess," she answered simply.

And why should I? She's a typical modern-day princess. Always prim and proper, like she's trained to do it. I mean, she can act like herself in front of new people! No one would judge her for being her.

That's mainly one of the reasons why I feel irritated with her. I hate to see people pretending to be someone that they're not just because they're trained to do it. I know there's something inside of her that she doesn't want to show to people. 

Well, I can't blame her parents for wanting her to be like this. She's their only child. Gusto lang siguro nila na maayos ang tingin sakanya ng ibang tao. But they should also understand that she can also act the way she pleases.

I mean, mukha namang wala siyang gagawing masama na ikapapahamak ng magulang niya. She looks kind and naïve. Which also became the opposite every time I tease her.

I don't know why I feel satisfied whenever I succeed in making her angry. Doon ko kasi nakikita kung sino talaga siya. She suddenly forgets that she has to act prim and proper every time I annoy her.

And that's a job well done for me.

At least she knows what it feels like to come out of her comfort zone. Wala namang huhusga sa'yo basta nagpapakatotoo ka lang.

I wrapped my arms around the girl that Bradley introduced to me while we were entering the club. Naupo kami sa pinareserbang upuan ni Charlie. I sat next to the girl that I'm with. She's cute and quite funny. Pupwede na kahit hanggang ngayong gabi lang.

We were having a very intimate conversation when Bradley decided to ruin our conversation. Hinarap ko siya nang dahil sa paulit-ulit niyang pagtapik sa balikat ko.

"What?" I spat at him angrily.

Way to ruin our conversation, Brad! I was just about to ask her for a hook-up when you ruined our conversation. Thank you so much!

"Hey... Tingnan mo 'yun oh! Feeling ko type mo 'yun." aniya sabay itinuro ang tatlong magkakaibigan na kakapasok lang.

I saw two ladies walking towards one of the couches and a man was following them from behind. Their backs are facing us so I couldn't see how they look like.

"Sino riyan?" Tanong ko.

"'Yung nakapula."

Ngumuso ako. I couldn't say that she's beautiful since her back is facing me. But based on her stance, she's definitely worth trying for.

"Ano, Benj?"

"Let's try."

Inalis ko ang braso ko sa balikat ng babaeng kausap ko kanina. I excused myself. Mukha namang nagulat siya sa ginawa ko, hindi siguro inaasahan na bigla ko siyang iiwan matapos ang usapang iyon.

I am always up for a challenge. My friends and I have made it a habit to look for some girls every time we hang out here at the bar.

I was confident about myself. Kahit kailan hindi ako nahirapang kumuha ng babae. Ang iba, isang tanong ko lang, sasama na agad. While there are some girls who willingly push themselves to me.

But only one girl was brave enough to reject a Benjamin Donovan.

I was walking confidently towards their couch. May mga babaeng nagtatangkang lumapit sa akin pero desidido akong lapitan itong tinuro ni Bradley sa akin kanina.

Without thinking twice, I sat next to her and snaked my arms around her shoulders. Nakita kong napabaling ang tingin ng dalawa niyang kaibigan sa akin. 'Yung kasama niyang lalaki ay walang nagawa kung hindi titigan ang braso kong nakaakbay sa kaibigan niya.

Is he jealous that I'm able to do this move to her easily? Mahina kasi ata 'to, e.

"Hey..." I whispered in her ear to try and get her attention. Namilog ang mga mata ng kaibigan niyang babae at may kung anong sinabi ito.

I felt the girl that I was eyeing for shifted from her seat. Mukhang naghahanda na para linungin ako. Agad namang nanlaki ang mga mata naming nang harapin naming ang isa't isa.

"You?!" we both pointed at each other.

Oh, dang! I didn't know it was her!

Her blazing eyes are staring right into my soul. Parang ang laki laki na agad ng kasalanan na nagawa ko sakanya base sa pagtingin niya sa akin. I only wrapped my arms around her shoulders! As if I transmitted a disease to her or something!

Padarag niyang inalis ang braso kong nasa balikat niya. My eyes widened. Napatayo nalang ako ng di oras nang dahil sa gulat.

"What the hell? I didn't know it was you!" I said.

But she didn't believe me... of course. And instead, she freaking insulted me again.

"Make some friends? Pero kung makahawak ka sa balikat mo akala mo close na close tayo! Kadiri ka! Nilagyan mo pa ng germs 'to!" she pretended to wipe something off of her shoulder.

Tss... arte!

"If I only knew you were that person we were looking at, then I wouldn't even bother coming here! Akala mo naman ginusto ko 'yon! Geez!"

She was about to hit me when someone stopped her from doing it.

"Kels..." the guy whispered.

At sino ba 'to ha? Her boyfriend? Tss... walang taste! Mas gwapo naman ako dyan!

Kahit na may binulong na ito sakanya ay hindi niya parin inalis ang tingin sa akin. She keeps on glaring at me while I keep on giving her a teasing smirk. Alam kong dadagdag lang sa inis niya sa akin itong ngisi ko sa labi.

I don't care. I love teasing her. I think I could make this a pastime.

My friends came into the rescue. Hindi ko sila binalingan ng tingin. I remained my gaze at Kelsey, trying to examine everything about her.

She's interesting.

"What's happening, bro?" tanong ni Charlie.

"What did you do?" si Bradley. I can sense how uneasy he is.

"Just bumped into someone I know." I answered. Naramdaman ko ang paglapit ni Bradley sa akin upang may ibulong.

"Is this the girl you were telling us about?" I scoff instead of answering his question. "Damn! She's pretty."

I smirked a little.

"I know..."

At least I am not the only one who can notice that. It's just impossible not to notice her beauty. She's very unique. Very far from the girls that I have been with before.

Kahit na kausap na niya ang mga kaibigan ay hindi ko magawang alisin ang tingin sakanya. I swear... there's something about her that I couldn't explain.

I saw her boyfriend grab her arm, ready to pull her away from this scene before she start a fight with me. But before they can finally walk away from us, she turns to me again and gave me her signature death glares.

"Thanks for ruining my night, asshole!"

Charles and Bradley has an amused look on their faces, wala silang nagawa kung hindi ang matawa nalang. Umiling ako. My smirk grew bigger.

"Anytime, princess," I said.

Sinundan ko naman sila ng tingin hanggang sa makalabas na sila ng tuluyan sa bar. I can't believe that I'm suddenly interested with that annoying girl.

She challenged me. Ipinamukha niya sa akin na may mga babae paring hindi mo makukuha ng ganong kadali. Ipinamukha niya sa akin na ang mga babae, dapat pinaghihirapan, at hindi lang basta pinaglalaruan.

She's the only one who managed to stop me from doing my old habits. Because ever since that night, that's where I first laid eyes on her.

I don't know what's with her and why I always wanted to cling and get to know her. There's something about her that's unexplainable.

There's something about her that made me so hooked.

"Hey, Benjamin. Hindi pa tayo tapos..." the girl that I was talking to a while ago sat beside me, almost asking me to cradle her on my thigh.

Umiling ako. "I'm done with you."

Her jaw dropped. It seems like she wasn't expecting my answer. Oh, well... I have no interest in you anymore.

The next morning, I asked my mother to give me Kelsey's parents' phone number. I'm just going to tell them what happened last night. And also... to try and say sorry. Alam kong wala naman akong ginawang masama. But imagining the look on Kelsey's face when she hears about this... very satisfying.

I could've stopped teasing her from the moment we were already introduced with one another normally. But for some reason, I didn't. Because I can slowly feel myself... craving for her attention. Every single time.

I was busy fixing some documents when I heard my phone beeped, signaling that someone messaged me. I quickly grabbed it to see who it is.

I couldn't help but smirk when I read what's on my screen.

Kelsey Alena Sanchez sent you a message request.

Agad kong binitawan ang mga hawak na papeles at tsaka naupo sa aking kama. I leaned in against the headrest while I swiped to read her message.

Kelsey:

Hey. I just want to let you know that I didn't regret shouting at you last night. But because my parents told me that you called and apologize... they forced me to do the same. So... I'm sorry. First, for reacting that way. And second, for being such a whiny person. I hope this will reach you.

I scoffed. I accepted her message request so I could type my reply.

Me:

Looks scripted.

I can already imagine the irritated look on her face while she's reading my reply. Ineexpect ko nang magagalit siya at magsisimula na namang magsabi ng kung ano-ano.

Kelsey:

You know... It isn't that hard to accept someone's apology, right? No need to say that it looks scripted to you. Wala naman akong pake.

And there goes my easily irritated girl...

Our conversation continued. Nakalimutan ko na ngang may kailangan akong asikasuhin nang dahil dito, e. I was savoring the moment. I was enjoying every bit of our conversation, even though it was non-sense.

Me:

Nag-message ka na lang rin, di mo pa ako inadd. Hindi mo pa sinagad.

Natawa rin ako nang dahil sa sinabi ko. I probably look like an attention seeker. Hindi naman ako ganito sa iba. I wouldn't even bother to tell them to send me a friend request! I am a completely different person whenever I'm with her. It's unbelievable.

Kelsey:

Bakit? Required bang maging friend ka?

Me:

Not really. But don't you want to see my Facebook posts on your timeline?

Kelsey:

No thanks. Baka puro kabaduyan lang ang makita ko.

Oh... she's got a big mouth, isn't she? I like that she can be feisty and very cute at the same time.

Me:

You have such a big mouth, Ms. Sanchez.

Kelsey:

And I don't have time for your stupid little jokes, Mr. Donovan.

Hmm... walang oras ha? Pero reply parin ng reply sa akin! That doesn't work on me, Ms. Sanchez. Maniwala ako sa'yo!

Me:

Don't have time huh? Then, why are you still replying to my messages? Can't help but reply? Still, want to talk to me?

It took her a while before she replies. Siguro narealize niya na tama nga ako. Kung wala talaga siyang oras para sa akin, sana hindi na siya nagreply kanina. She can easily ignore my message if she doesn't really care about me.

Tsk. Tsk. Tsk... girls and their tactics.

When I sent her a friend request, she did not accept it right away. I see... it's her pride talking. S'yempre... hindi niya basta-basta iaaccept 'yun. 'Yun pa ba!?

I swear I'm doing things that I don't usually do with this girl. I usually ignore some messages kahit na nakita ko na ito sa notification ko. I just feel lazy to open it. Bukod sa hindi na rin interesado pang kausapin ang mga babaeng nakasama ko na dati, ayoko lang talaga.

But it's different with Kelsey. When I see her name pop out of my screen. Feeling ko mas mabilis pa ako kay The Flash kung kunin ko ang telepono ko upang tingnan kung ano ba ang mensahe niya sa akin. Minsan nakakalimutan ko na ang mga responsibilidad ko dahil masyado akong natutuwa sa nagiging usapan namin ni Kelsey.

What surprised me the most is when she accepted my friend request the next day. Nasa meeting ako ng mga oras na iyon nang matanggap ko ang notification na iyon. Kahit na may nagsasalita sa harap ay walang pag-aalinlangan kong kinuha ang aking telepono.

Iaaccept rin pala. Pinatagal pa!

I went to visit her profile. She rarely posts anything. I like that she likes to keep her life private. That made me admire her more. Ibang-iba talaga siya sa mga babaeng kakilala ko. They always post a lot on Facebook! They post every single detail about what's going on in their life. Kaya minsan ayoko na rin buksan 'tong Facebook ko.

I decided to go through her photos. Ngumuso ako nang makita kung gaano siya kaganda kahit sa litrato. If she's already beautiful in person, she's equally beautiful in photos. How could she even?

"Right, Benjamin?"

Kung hindi dahil doon ay hindi ko mamamalayan na napatagal na pala ang patitingin ko sa mga litrato ni Kelsey. I raise my gaze and made an excuse.

"What is it again? I'm sorry I just received an important message."

"I feel like we should widen our range with construction. Marami na ring kompanya ang nag-uupgrade ng kanilang mga materyales at sa tingin ko kailangan nating makisabay."

I scoff. "Don't worry, Mr. Yumang. Hindi ko naman hahayaan na mapagiwanan tayo ng ibang kompanya. I already have a plan in mind even before you mention this."

His mouth parted. Ang iba ay hindi naiwasang mapangiti nang dahil sa sinabi ko. Even in business, I was really confident. Hindi ako basta gagawa ng desisyon kung alam kong walang pagtutunguhan iyon. And that's mainly one of the reasons why a lot of people really wanted to work with me.

I already earned a lot at the age of twenty-five. Lahat ng perang pinagpapaguran ko ay napupunta lang rin sa akin. Wala rin naman akong pinagkakagastusan bukod sa mga nakahiligan at pagbili ng mga hiling sa akin ng kapatid ko. 

When I found myself slowly falling for Kelsey, I finally know where or who I'm going to spend this money for. I don't care how much it's worth. I don't care if I'll go bankrupt. I just want to make sure that I provide her with everything, no matter how much it costs.

Nang ipaalala sa akin ni Mama ang nalalapit na pagbalik namin sa America ay hindi ko alam kung ano ba ang dapat kong maramdaman. Should I feel happy because we're finally going back to the country where I grew up in? Or... should I feel sad because... this might be the last time I'm going to see her again?

I hate to leave this country knowing that we're not in good terms. Galit siya sa akin dahil hindi ko sinasadyang matabig iyong fruit salad habang kausap ko siya. I was careless because I was so focused on getting her attention.

Hindi niya ako pinapansin buong gabi! She's acting like I am not here and I'm not used to it! I want her attention. So bad!

Alam kong nagmumukha na akong papansin, but I just couldn't help it. I am... falling for this girl and I don't know why. Everything's just so sudden and I wasn't able to take control of it.

I messaged her last night to tell her I'm sorry pero hanggang ngayon hindi niya parin sinasagot o tinitingnan man lang iyong mensahe na iyon. I tried to send as many messages as possible. I want to tell her that my apology is very sincere.

Hindi ko naman kasi talaga sinasadya iyong nangyari kagabi. Maybe she's mad at me because that causes her parents to fight and scold her. And I feel bad.

Aalis na nga lang ako ulit sa bansang 'to, gagawa pa ako ng problema.

Enough of trying to get her attention, Benj. Maybe she's not interested in you as much as you are. Baka ikaw lang 'tong laging nagpapapansin pero para sakanya wala lang iyon at nagiging dahilan lang iyon para mas mainis siya sa'yo lalo.

I stayed quiet the whole ride. Kahit si Brittany ay napansin rin ang pagiging tahimik ko.

"What's wrong, Benj?" she asks. Umiling ako at tsaka nag-suot ng earphones. Nakinig nalang ako ng music ay hindi na sila pinakinggan pa.

I asked the driver to stop by a coffee shop before we head to the airport. At sa mga oras na iyon ay hindi ko inaasahang makikita ko si Kelsey doon. She's with that guy again.

Kaya siguro hindi siya interesado sa akin dahil mas gusto niya ito.

They stood up to leave the coffee shop. Hindi ko magawang alisin ang tingin sakanya. She's walking towards the exit without looking at me.

"Kelsey..." I tried calling her, but she just ignored me.

Nakita ko rin ang pagbaling ng tingin ng lalaking kasama niya sa akin. His forehead creased. Pinanood ko sila hanggang sa makalabas na sila ng tuluyan sa coffee shop. I pursed my lips and shake my head.

"Hey, I saw Kelsey! Nagkita rin ba kayo?" tanong ni Brittany nang iniabot ko sakanya iyong order niya. 

Tumango lang ako bilang sagot. Napansin ko ang pag nguso niya. Hindi niya inilubay ang tingin sa akin. She cocked her head to the side, as if she's trying to figure something out. 

"Oh my god! Benj... don't tell me you were jealous because she's with another-"

"Shut it, Britt. I'm not." Sabi ko at tsaka hinilig na ang sarili sa upuan.

Ramdam ko ang pagbaling ng tingin nila Mama sa akin. Hindi ko nalang sila pinansin. Isipin na nila ang dapat isipin. I'm not in the mood.

Maybe this is just a fleeting feeling. Hindi naman siguro totoo 'tong nararamdaman ko. Makakalimutan ko rin naman siguro 'to. That's where I'm good at after all. I am going back to America and I can now continue my old habits. Susubukan kong kalimutan si Kelsey.

It's not right to feel this towards her. Nabigla lang rin siguro ako. Maybe this is just an infatuation. I should probably forget her from now on.

"Daddy! Daddy!" my daughter said in between her laughter as I was chasing her and her twin down our garden.

"Benji, run!" sigaw niya sa kapatid. 

Well, they only know a few words and the word Daddy and Mommy are one of them. Kelsey and I are still teaching them how to speak properly. We'll get through that soon.

Benji turned his head in my direction and when he saw me, he ran together with his twin. Nagtatawanan sila habang ako naman ay patuloy silang hinahabol.

"The monster is coming and he will take two little children with him," I said as I tried to sound like a monster. I even tried to move like one.

I'm doing things out of my league just to make sure that I make my kids happy. I bet I look like a retarded father here. Kelsey will surely laugh at me when she sees me.

"Kids!" we all stopped when we heard their mother calling them from the inside. "It's time for lunch. Come on now inside."

Kelsey stopped in front of the glass door and waited for us to approach her. Lumakad ako patungo sa mga bata pero agad naman silang tumakbo palayo sa akin, siguro iniisip na ginagampanan ko parin ang role ko kanina.

Tumakbo sila patungo kay Kelsey at tsaka siya niyakap ng mga ito. They are laughing as they wrap their arms around Kelsey's legs. Tiningnan naman ako ng asawa ko at tsaka ngumisi.

Celestine pointed her index finger at me. "Mommy! Ster! Coming!"

Napailing nalang si Kelsey nang dahil sa narinig galing sa anak. She squatted to level the eyes of our children. I stopped in front of them to admire the scene.

"Daddy is not a monster anymore, okay? He's done playing his role," she said sweetly. I pressed my lips into a thin line to hide my smile.

Damn. I knew she's going to be a great mother.

"You're going to play later with daddy again. But now, you have to eat. I asked Ate Nela to cook all your favorites! There's a cordon bleu!"

The twins' eyes widened. They look excited. They gave each other a meaningful look. Kahit ako napailing nalang rin. Para bang may telepathy itong dalawa at ang bilis magkaintindihan. Cordon bleu is their favorite dish. Marami silang nakakakain sa tuwing ito ang ulam namin.

Tumalon ang dalawa, kinuha naman sila ng dalawang kasambahay upang samahan sila patungo sa dining table. And because our kids are very hyper, pati ang mga kasambahay nadala na rin sa pagtakbo nila.

"Kids, be careful!" Kelsey reminded as she watch our kids run towards the dining table. She stood up to face me.

Nagpakawala siya ng malalim na hininga. Lumapit naman ako sakanya at tsaka ipinulupot ang braso ko sa baywang niya. It's an automatic move. I pulled my wife closer to me.

"So, you skipped work to act like a monster again huh?" she mocked at me.

I don't find her smirk at me annoying at all. I know she's trying to tease me. But every time she does that, I only find her astounding. Her tactics don't work on me anymore.

I scoff. "What's wrong with it? The kids seem to love it!" pabiro siyang umirap sa akin.

"So, how's my baby?" I asked. Tinaasan niya naman ako ng kilay.

"Baby who? Baby #3... or me?" natawa rin siya nang dahil doon. I ran my fingers through her hair so I can see her face better.

"Of course... both." I whispered sensually on her ear. Napalayo siya ng di oras sa akin. Humalakhak naman ako.

"Oh my god, Benj, no," she said as she glared cutely at me.

I know her sex drive is insanely high during her pregnancy stage. She was really careful enough not to let the temptation get to her. Sometimes I'll see her at the back garden, sitting on one of the sun loungers, and whenever I ask her what she's doing she'll always answer me with...

"I'm meditating."

"Why?"

"You know why!" she pierced her eyes at me to give me a meaningful look. 

She's always like this every time I try and talk sensually. I was just messing with her! It's really funny to see her face every time she tries to ignore the temptation. 

She's three months pregnant and she knows that at this stage, her drive for sex is unstoppable. Pero dahil may mga anak na kami at hindi naman sound proof ang dingding namin, hindi niya hinahayaan ang sarili na mahulog sa patibong na iyon.

Marami rin kaming kasamang kasambahay dito kaya siguro nagiging maingat lang siya.

Hmm... my baby gave me an idea. Mukhang may ipapaayos ata ako sa bahay ah? Should I make our walls soundproof so my wife wouldn't get worried? 

I smirked at the thought. 

"You know what? Let's just head inside. The kids are probably waiting for us!" kinuha niya ang kamay ko at tsaka ako hinila papasok ng bahay.

She smiled at our kids like nothing happened. Naupo siya sa tabi ni Celeste, habang ako naman ay naupo sa tabi ni Benji.

I couldn't explain the feeling that I felt when Kelsey and I found out that we're having twins. To be honest, we are only expecting for a single child. Nagpaplano na nga akong bubuntisin ko siya sa susunod na taon para dalawa na agad ang anak namin.

But then, God gave us twins! And I couldn't be happier!

"We're going to visit Lolo and Lola at their grave today, okay? Kaya pagkatapos niyong kumain, maligo na agad kayo. After that, we're going to the mall."

"Mommy... toys?" Benji asked innocently.

Tiningnan naman ako ni Kelsey, hinihintay ang sagot ko. Hinarap ko ang anak at tsaka siya nginitian. Kapag kasi hindi napagbigyan sa gusto, nagwawala. 

"Yes, boss. We're going to buy you a lot of toys."

Lumapad ang ngiti ng dalawa kaya naman ay binilisan nila ang pagkain. They're only two years old, pero alam na nila kung paano kumain ng mag-isa. We don't need to assist them anymore every time we eat.

Natawa nalang si Kelsey nang dahil sa reaksyon ng mga anak. She continued eating her food.

Hanggang ngayon hindi parin ako makapaniwala na sa akin siya. Out of all the guys who fantasize about her, she chose me. She chose me to be the father of our children. She chose to spend the rest of my life with me. And most of all, she chose to love me.

Buti nalang rin at hindi ako nagtagumpay sa binabalak kong kalimutan siya. Because I succeed, hindi sana kami ganito ngayon. I'll be with another girl and she'll be with another man. And I can't imagine what my life would be like if that's the case.

It's been years ever since our return here in America. Ilang taon na rin ang nakalipas matapos ng huling usapan namin ni Kelsey. The last conversation that we had was about business.

I'm trying to keep things between us casual because I'm trying to forget her. I don't want my feelings involved as much as possible.

Years passed and I think I am slowly succeeding in trying to forget her. I've been with a lot of girls again. I used them to make me try and forget her. Pero minsan nagiging imposible rin.

Kelsey's the only one who made me feel so many things during our first meeting. At 'yun rin ang lagi kong hinahanap sa mga babaeng nakikilala ko. I'm trying to look for girls who can try and pass Kelsey. She just set the bar high.

I'm trying to look for girls who can also give me the same feeling. But none of them succeeded. Because I know there's only one... and no one can do it better than her.

I quickly clicked the Facebook tab when I saw a message from the girl that I'll be meeting up with tonight. Makikipagkita ako sakanya pagkatapos ng trabaho. I just need to give myself a break. Work has been really stressful these past few months.

Ang daming responsibilidad na nakasasalay sa akin at hindi ko alam kung ano ang uunahin.

I read her message.

Mia:

You up for tonight? 💋

I smirked. I just met her recently. And she just gave herself willingly at me so quickly. I'm always up for a hook-up because it doesn't involve feelings. It will only make things messy. Nadala na ako.

I was about to reply to her when a new photo of Kelsey popped into my Facebook timeline. I arched a brow. She's out with her friends. I think they're in Palawan. She posted two pictures. She wasn't smiling in the first photo and on the second one, she's on her goofy self where she's holding on to the railing near the pool with a big smile on her face.

Napasandal ako sa aking swivel chair habang tinitingnan ang kanyang litrato.

It's crazy that years can make a lot of difference. She's gotten more confident and beautiful. I wonder what she looks like now in person.

Oh, shut it, Benj! Akala ko ba kinalimutan mo na?

Umiling ako at nirefresh nalang ang Facebook para hindi na iyong litrato niya ang bumungad sa akin.

Mia:

Hey?

If it wasn't for that, I wouldn't remember why I opened the Facebook tab in the first place. I sigh heavily and typed my reply.

Me:

See you tonight.

Ngunit kahit ilang babae pa ang makasama ko, wala talagang makakapantay sakanya. The more I try, the more it becomes impossible. So, in the end... I stopped.

Because when we bumped into each other in Barcelona, that's where I realized that I can't.

Kaya siguro ako ang inatasan ni Papa na magpunta dito dahil alam nilang nandidito si Kelsey. Their decision is just so sudden that I find it weird. As far as I know, Papa's ready to leave for Barcelona in the next few days.

When he finished the phone call with someone, he immediately told me that he can't go and that he needed me to fill his position up for him. I didn't think twice because I also wanted to explore and have time for myself.

"We've already fixed everything. No need to worry about your hotel room because it's already reserved." Tumango ako sa sinabi ni Papa.

I'm currently packing the clothes that I'll bring with me in Barcelona. Si Papa naman ay nakatayo sa harap ko habang ipinapaalam sa akin ang mga dapat kong gawin habang nandodoon ako.

He was invited in a formal party in Barcelona. Ang sabi niya sa akin ay marami raw business tycoons na pupunta roon at kailangan kong makuha ang loob nila.

"I knew you were good at this, kaya naisipan namin ni Barbara na ikaw nalang ang papuntahin doon."

Tumango ako at nagpatuloy sa pag-iimpake.

"What time is my flight?"

"Two in the afternoon."

"Okay... I'll tell you how it goes."

Napangiti siya ng dahil doon. Tinapik niya ako sa aking balikat.

"Thank you, son."

"No problem, Pa." ngumiti rin ako sakanya pabalik.

Nang dumating ang araw ng pag-alis ko ay ilang beses akong pinaalalahanan ni Brittany tungkol sa mga bilin niya. Gusto ko na nga lang lagyan ng earplugs 'tong tainga ko para hindi ko na marinig 'tong boses ng kapatid ko. Nakakarindi, e.

"Yes, Britt. I won't forget! Okay?"

She smiled pleasingly at me. "Gandahan mo ang pag-pili ha?"

Napipilitan akong tumango. When I informed my family that I landed safely in Barcelona, humirit na naman si Brittany tungkol sa mga pinapabili niya sa akin. Pinatay ko nalang ang telepono ko at tsaka nagtungo sa hotel kung saan ako mananatili ng ilang linggo.

I've been roaming around Barcelona for about a week now and I still can't find the store that Brittany has been telling me. Inaway pa ako noong isang araw dahil hindi ko raw inaayos ang paghahanap! Siya na nga itong humihingi ng pabor sa akin, siya pa itong demanding at mareklamo!

Me:

If I can't still find the store tonight, hindi na kita ibibili.

Mabilis na nagreply si Brittany sa message ko. I'm surprised she's not studying. May time siyang buksan ang cellphone niya, e.

Brittany:

What? How dare you! You promised that you're going to buy me! Wala ka talagang kwenta!

Me:

Ilang beses ko nang hinahanap 'yung store na sinasabi mo pero wala parin.

Brittany:

Galingan mo kasi maghanap!!!

I scoff insultingly. Napapikit nalang ako nang dahil sa inaasal ng kapatid. She's a spoiled brat. Gusto niyang nabibigay agad sakanya ang lahat ng gusto niya. And I can't blame her for that, my parents' spoiled her because she's like a princess to them.

At noong nagkapera ako, ako naman itong nang-spoil sakanya kaya eto, sinasamantala!

I was roaming around Sagrada Familia when I received a call from Brittany. Even if it's out of my will, I still answered her call.

"Benjamin!" bungad niya. "Ano? Nahanap mo na ba?"

"Not yet. But I'm trying." I said to reassure her.

"Tss... did you even search where it is located?"

"I did."

"Then why can't you still find it?!" sigaw niya sa kabilang linya. Napahilot nalang ako ng aking sentido at pinilit nalang ang sarili na making pa sa mga pinagsasabi ng kapatid.

I was busy listening to her rants that I didn't notice that I already bumped into someone.

"Oops..." I said. I was about to say sorry to that person when Brittany screamed on the other line. Kasabay naman noon ay ang pagbaling rin ng tingin ko sa mga grupo ng turista na dumaan.

"I'll die if you don't buy me that thing! Please, Benj, look for it!"

I scratched the back of my head. "Yes, Britt. I'll buy it for you! You don't have to cry!"

"I'm not crying! I'm just desperate to get that thing!"

"Okay! Okay! I'll try and look for that store again. Bye!"

Hindi ko na hinintay pa ang sagot niya dahil binaba ko na ang tawag. I inserted my phone inside my pocket angrily.

"Fucking demanding!" I whispered under my breath.

Nagpatuloy ako sa paghahanap doon sa store na tinutukoy ni Brittany, but I still can't. I think it's located in Madrid because I can't find it here in Barcelona! Pero ang sabi naman sa akin ng kapatid ko, dito daw iyon!

Damn! I can't go back without buying this for her. She'll get mad! I know her too well.

When everything seems impossible, I decided to go back to Sagrada Familia.

"Where the hell is fucking Nouvum?!" I groaned out of frustration. Inalis ko ang salamin na suot at tsaka pagod na naupo sa bench.

I sighed heavily. Masyado akong pinapagod ng demanding kong kapatid.

Inilibot ko ang tingin sa buong paligid hanggang sa tumigil ito sa bench na malapit sa akin. The girl immediately tore her eyes away from me. Itinago niya ang kanyang mukha sa pamamagitan ng kanyang buhok. Kumunot ang noo ko.

She looks familiar... hindi kaya...

I stood up to get near her. Mukhang nagmamadali siya habang papalapit ako sakanya. But she didn't succeed on getting away from me because her sketchpad fell from her hand. Yumuko ako upang kunin iyon para sakanya.

I glanced at her and when I confirmed that it was her, I smirked. Long time no see, Kelsey...

Tiningnan ko ang laman ng sketchpad niya. Her sketch of Sagrada Familia welcomed my sight. I was surprised because her drawing was breathtaking. So talented.

"You did this?" I asked in an amused voice.

No wonder why she chose to take architecture. She's really good at this. I am very amazed. Is there anything that this girl can't do?

"Uh..." she struggled to speak a word.

"This is amazing!" I complimented.

"Thanks." Aniya. Umupo ako sa tabi niya at tsaka tiningnan ang iba niya pang drawing sa kanyang sketchpad.

Now I came to realize why it's impossible for me to forget her. She's the most amazing person I've ever met. Every single thing that she does keeps on surprising me. No one could ever pass her level. All my efforts of trying to forget her vanished. I just can't.

I like her so much.

"I knew it was you," I said. I couldn't hide the happiness that I'm feeling in my voice. Binalik ko sakanya ang kanyang sketchpad. She accepted it. "Magtatago ka pa ha?"

Tumawa ako at nakita ko ang pagkunot ng noo niya. Still beautiful as ever. I can't help but continue staring at her.

If I could look at one person for the whole day, it would be her. Hinding-hindi ako magsasawang titigan siya.

That's why when I saw how engrossed she was at her drawing of Park Güell; I tried to capture her secretly. Nang inangat niya ang tingin sa akin ay mabilis kong iniwas ang tingin sakanya at nagkunwaring may kinukuhanang iba.

I need something to make me remember this day with her. I pursed my lips and glanced at her. Pinagpatuloy niya ang ginagawa. I took a picture of her again for the last time before I turned off my phone and sat next to her.

Later that night, while I was browsing through some photos, I came across her picture. I took a lot actually. It surprises me that she's not the type of girl who wants to take photos of everything. Instead, she's the kind of girl who wants to draw everything she sees. That amuses me so much.

Napangiti nalang ako nang makita ko ang litrato niya kanina sa Park Güell. I was surprised that I managed to take a photo of her while looking right into my camera. She looks so innocent.

Shit. I hate that I look like a creep when it comes to her.

I made that photo my wallpaper. I bit my lip.

"There..." I whispered. "Much better."

My father reminded me about the business party the next day. I know I don't need a date for the business party. But I just need to be with her before I leave. Hindi ko na kasi alam kung kailan pa kami ulit magkikita, e. It will probably take a long time again so might as well take advantage of the time I have left with her.

"Please be my date at the business party," I said.

Alam kong may magiging kapalit at handa akong ibigay sakanya ang lahat ng gusto niya basta mapagbibigyan niya ako sa hinihiling ko sakanya. I just need her time. That's all I ask.

Ilang beses ko pa siyang pinakiusapan. I tried so hard not to sound desperate. I even came up with a lot of excuses para lang mapagbigyan niya ako. 

"Who is this fine lady that you brought with you tonight, Benjamin? Another girl that you met somewhere?" Mr. Soliven asked.

Nakita ko ang pagkunot ng noo ni Kelsey. Mukhang hindi nagustohan iyong narinig.

It wasn't actually part of my plan to introduce her as my girlfriend but I just couldn't let the idea that they think Kelsey's just one of the girls I'm going to dump the next day.

I quickly changed my mind and decided to introduce her as my girlfriend instead.

"Uh... no." agap ko. "I know her personally." I pulled her closer to me. "She's my girlfriend."

I saw the surprised look on their faces. Mukhang nagsisi naman si Mr. Soliven nang dahil sa sinabi niya. Agad siyang humingi ng tawad sa amin ni Kelsey.

I just didn't want them to get the wrong impression of her. I didn't want them to compare her to those women that I've been with before.

Kelsey's far from that. She's different from the rest and that made her stand out.

She changed me. Siya lang ang babaeng kinababaliwan ko ng ganito. Siya lang ang babaeng nagpatibok ng puso ko ng ganito.

I was about to enter my hotel room when she spoke.

"Uh... Benjamin." I didn't know my name would sound even better when she says it. I turn to her and waited for her to speak.

I moved a little closer while she speaks. I clenched my jaw. Damn it, Benj. Control your fucking self. I know you like her but please fucking control yourself.

"Thank you for tonight. Thank you for... buying me all this," I stared intently at her. I just couldn't hold myself back anymore.

I am crazy in love with her.

She tried to smile at me and cleared her throat. "I guess... this is where we break up now huh? I mean... you told those people that we're in a relationship even though we're not. I just thought that if we break up now, then... you'll probably have a reason... when... they ask you about me."

I can't help but smile because of that. What are you doing to me, woman?

She gulped and smiled at me for the last time.

"Good night. I hope you'll sleep well."

She turned her back on me. Inalis ko ang pagkakakuyom ng aking kamao at mabilis na hinablot sakanya iyong keycard niya at ako na mismo ang nagbukas ng pinto sakanya.

I pushed her against the wall. I stared right into her eyes. Nakabuka ang kanyang mga bibig at halatang hinihintay nalang rin ang susunod na mangyayari.

I'm sorry, baby, I just can't hold myself anymore. I need you. I need to taste your lips. I need to know how it feels to be this close to you. Without thinking twice, I crashed my lips into hers. 

Before she gave birth to my twins, I always make sure that she's okay. I always check on her every time kahit na nasa meeting ako. Siya lang at ang mga anak namin ang laging nasa isip ko.

That's why I filed a leave for work until Kelsey gave birth. Gusto ko ako ang nag-aalaga sakanya. I need to be with her all the time. Iyon ang ipinangako ko sakanyang mga magulang bago kami ikasal ulit.

I promised to always look out for their only child. I promised that I will love her more than anything in this world. I promised that I will give her the world. 

Nakahilig siya sa akin habang sabay naming pinagmamasdan ang pagdaan ng mga alon sa harap namin. She told me that she wanted to go to the beach, I obliged because I will do anything for her and for her children.

She controls me. She rules my system. Typically, it's the guy who always gets followed. But it's the other way for us.

"Paano kaya kung buhay pa sila mommy ngayon? Ano kayang magiging reaksyon nila?" tanong niya sa akin.

Bumaba ang tingin ko sa tiyan niya. She's eight months pregnant now. And we'll soon welcome our twins into this world. I keep on looking forward to that day. I think I'll cry.

"I'm sure they'll be happy." Sagot ko.

"Sa tingin mo kaya pinapanood nila tayo ngayon?"

"Yes, I'm sure they're always looking out for you." I brushed her hair. Umayos naman siya upang tingnan ako. Inalalayan ko siya.

"Sayang at hindi nila nasisilayan ang lahat ng 'to no? I used to dream this kind of life with my mom." She admitted. Her voice broke. "Sabi niya gusto niyang makita kung gaano ako kasaya sa piling ng taong mahal ko."

She smiled sadly at me. "And it's sad that she wasn't able to witness more of our story."

Pinalis ko ang luhang lumandas sa kanyang mga mata. This is probably a side effect of her pregnancy. She tends to get overly emotional sometimes. Minsan nga magugulat nalang ako at nasa opisina ko siya dahil gusto niya raw lagi akong kasama.

That's why I didn't need to think twice when I have to file a leave. I needed to satisfy her needs.

"It's okay... sigurado naman ako na masaya sila para sa atin ngayon."

Ngumiti siya sa akin at ibinaon ang mukha sa aking leeg. I kissed the top of her head.

"What does my queen want for lunch?"

I felt her scoff. "Anything you cook for me is fine."

Inalis niya ang pagkakabaon ng kanyang mukha sa aking balikat at tsaka ako tiningnan. She smiled at me. I made sure that she's fine before we head back to our villa.

Hinaplos ko ang pagkabila niyang balikat at tsaka hinalikan ito. I stood up first before I help her. Kinuha ko ang sapin. I wrap my arms around her shoulders as I guide her back to our villa.

When we went back to the Philippines, I tried to accept that it will probably take time before I get to see her again. I met up with my friends as usual. We were having so much fun when one of the girls from our table asked us to play truth or dare.

Tahimik akong sumimsim ng alak. Binalingan naman ako ng tingin ng ni Charlie.

"Are you up with that, bro?" I shrugged my shoulders. "Of course, you are!"

Nagsimula ang laro at agad itong natapat sa babaeng katabi ko. She chose dare.

"Wrap your arms around Benjamin for five minutes." ani ng isa niyang kaibigan. Naghagikhikan sila. 

Nilingon ko siya at pinasadahan siya ng tingin. Not going to pass my taste. Not going to pass my Kelsey.

Namula ang pisngi niya at nahihiyang nag-iwas ng tingin sa akin.

"Is it fine with you?" her friend asked.

"If it will help her with her dare, then go ahead. Just don't come close."

Binalewala ng babae iyong huli kong sinabi. She quickly wrapped her arms around my neck at mas inilapit ang sarili sa akin. I tried pushing her off but I didn't want to be disrespectful in front of everyone so I just let her stay in that position. Iilang minuto lang naman, e.

When they rolled the bottle again, it went to me.

"Truth or Dare?" the girl beside me asked excitedly.

"Truth."

She looks disappointed with my answer. I smirked. Maybe she wants me to answer the dare so her friends could take advantage of the situation.

"Are you seeing someone at the moment?" Bradley asked. Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay at mukhang ipinaparating na sagutin ko iyon ng totoo.

Tumawa ako.

"We're not dating. But my eyes are currently set on her."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Bradley at Charlie. Unti-unti silang napangisi.

"No wonder why you've been really occupied with your phone these past few days huh?" 

"Is she here?" the girl beside me asked sweetly. Bahagya ko siyang nilingon. She's giving me a meaningful stare.

"No, she's probably working her ass off."

I heard her gasp. Ngumisi ako at nakita ang masayang ngiti nila Bradley at Charlie.

"Damn it, bro! That's the reason why you always light up whenever we talk about her!"

I chuckled. "'Cause, she's amazing."

The girl beside me keeps on trying to make me kiss her. But I'm sorry... I'm not the old Benjamin anymore. Someone made me quit my old hobby. So, when her five minutes is over, I immediately informed her about it.

"Your time is up." I said. She disappointingly removed her arms around me. Lumayo ako ng bahagya sakanya at mas itinuon nalang ang pansin sa laro.

That night I didn't know that Kelsey was also in the same bar as me. My eyes immediately darted towards her when I saw her dancing in front of us. Her eyes are closed and she's just having the time of her life.

Bradley watches her with an amused look on his face. I watch her seriously as she dances sensually in front of us.

Oh, damn it! Enough of that, woman! This dance is only for me. Hindi ko hahayaang makita ka ng ibang lalaki na ganito.

Tumayo ako at nilapitan siya. Agad kong hinawi paalis ang lalaking nagtatangkang lumapit sakanya. I shielded her from all the men who are trying to watch her and get her attention.

"What are you doing?" I whispered in her ear. "This isn't your place..."

She's so drunk. Alam kong hindi magugustohan ng mga magulang niya ang ginawa niya. As much as I want to drive her to our house, I also had a few drinks and I can't drive that far so I decided to just bring her to my condo unit.

What has gotten in to her mind to make herself drunk? Mukha pa namang hindi siya sanay sa mga ganito!

"You look like Benjamin," she said while I was wiping her up with a towel. I arched a brow.

"It's because I'm Benjamin," I said simply and continued with my work.

"Luh! Siraulo! Imposible! Umuwi na ang isang 'yon kasama 'yong babae niya!"

And that's what she thinks of me—a man whore. She thinks of me as someone who uses girls to satisfy his needs. Someone who uses girls to prove that he has a big ego. Well, I admit. I am... but that was before.

Little did she know that she was the reason... why I decided to change.

Bahagya akong nagulat nang inilapit niya ang mukha sa akin upang ambahan ako ng halik.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm just... looking for someone who can kiss me better than that guy." She pouted.

I clenched my jaw. Paano kaya kung ibang lalaki ang nag-uwi sakanya ngayon? Paano kung ganito ang gawin niya sa lalaking 'yon? Fuck! I couldn't imagine!

"Who?"

"Benjamin!" I raised a brow.

What is she even talking about? Hindi pa ba siya nakakaranas na mahalikan?

"Why? Haven't you been kissed by other guys before? That you can't compare his kisses to them?"

"Hell no! That was my first kiss! And I desperately want someone to kiss me better than that!"

I don't know why the thought that I was her first kiss made me happy. And knowing that she still can't get over that kiss, made me even happier. It only proves to me that I have an effect on her.

"Can you try it?" ngumisi siya.

"What?" I asked in a very amused tone. I couldn't believe this woman! Buti nalang talaga ako ang nag-uwi sakanya!

"Kiss me. So I can know which one is better." She said simply as if she's challenging me.

I chuckled. She's being ridiculous! Ganito ba ang nagagawa ng alak sa sistema niya?

And because I am a Donovan... I accepted her challenge. We don't back out on any challenges. We are always up for it.

There's no more backing out now and no more self-control, Benj. Your girl just challenged you.

Dahan dahan ko siyang inihiga sa kama matapos ko siyang bihisan. I can't believe she managed to break my self-control. I gave in to her. Willingly. And without thinking twice.

Tumabi ako sakanya at tinitigan ang kanyang natutulog na mukha. I hope she doesn't forget what happened between us tomorrow. Because I would never dare to forget this. Ngayon lang ako nabaliw para sa isang babae ng ganito.

The feelings that I keep on denying for years came back. Laging bumabalik iyong nararamdaman ko para sakanya sa tuwing ganito siya kalapit sa akin.

I remove some strand of her hair out of her face. Patuloy ko lang siyang tinititigan. She's so beautiful and peaceful. She's like a thunder who struck me so hard. Bumaba ang tingin ko sa kanyang labi.

Damn. Why does it have to be you?

Sa dinami-rami ng babaeng nakasama ko, bakit sa'yo pa ako nagkaganito? Ano bang meron sa'yo at bakit hindi kita magawang kalimutan?

Every time I close my eyes, all I could see is you. Your smile. Your eyes. Your lips. Everything about you!

Sa dinami-rami rin ng mga babaeng nakasama ko, sa'yo lang ako nabaliw ng ganito. I can easily forget the girl I had a one night stand with easily.

But with you, it seemed so impossible. You're etched in my head. You're the only girl who managed to get stuck in my head for such a long time.

I continued staring at her until I can slowly feel myself moving closer to her. I moved closer until our lips are only centimeters apart. Just one taste of her lips again. I'll be completely contended.

Just one fucking taste again... and I'll be okay.

I stole a long kiss on her lips. This is crazy! I've never tried to steal a kiss from a girl who's lying beside me after we fucked! Damn it!

The taste of her sweet lips is the only thing that's keeping me sane. Para bang sa dinami-rami ng bagay sa mundo, ang labi niya lang ang hahanap-hanapin ko.

Fuck! I don't think I'll ever get tired of kissing her.

"We want you to marry each other for business. Arranged marriage, Benjamin, to be exact." My mother said.

My forehead creased as I listen to her. Are they crazy? Why are they forcing us to do something that we are not ready to commit yet? That's bullshit!

I laughed. Knowing her... she'll probably agree for her parents. Alam na alam kong gagawin niya ang lahat para sa ikasasaya ng mga magulang niya kahit ba ang kapalit noon ay ang kasiyahan niya.

At ayun ang ayokong mangyari. She'll agree on marrying me not because she feels the same way about me, but because she's only doing this for her parents.

Ayokong napipilitan lang siya sa akin. Gusto kong pakakasalan niya ako ng walang kapalit.

Yes, I do like her. Fuck! I even love her! But I didn't want to force her to do something she didn't want to! Agreeing to this would also mean that what we have between us means nothing to her! And that's the total opposite of what I'm feeling towards her... towards us...

This is everything to me! She is everything to me.

"You can't let us do that," I said in between my laughs. I glanced at Kelsey to show her that I am against this. I hope she does the same. "I will never do that."

"The decision is final, Benj. You can't do anything about it."

I laughed at my father's remark. I shake my head. What has gotten into their mind to think about this? We have nothing to lose with this arrangement. We also have nothing to gain with this.

Kelsey didn't say anything. I knew what's going on in her mind. She's probably thinking that I don't like her because I keep on pushing this thing off.

Well hate me, baby. Hate me with all your might just don't fucking agree to this arranged marriage. Marry me when the time is right. Marry me when you love me.

"Oh, come on... is that why you forced me to come here? To talk about this shit?" I said irritatingly.

"Benjamin!" my mother warned.

Hindi nila nagustohan ang inasal ko ng gabing iyon. Nagalit sila at pinagsabihan ako. They even explained to me the things that we're going to gain with this marriage, which I can't still understand.

Gain their trust? Isn't their friendship enough to prove that they trust each other? Why do they need to drag us into this?

I want to marry Kelsey. I really do. So fucking bad. But not like this. Not with an arrangement like this! I'll fucking wait for her if I have to. I'll fucking wait until she falls for me. I'll be patient. For her.

I agreed not because I'm pressured, but because I can see that she'll agree to this on behalf of her parents. Kitang-kita ko sa mga mata niya na may sagot na siya bago pa sila pumunta dito. And that drove me mad!

She has a choice! Hindi niya kailangan dumipende lagi sa mga magulang niya! She doesn't need to follow them all the time especially if it's against her will! She needs to stop them from taking control of everything. She needs to think about herself, too.

"Fine," I answered. "I will marry her for business."

Hindi ko hahayaang ikaw lang ang papayag dito, Kelsey. Sasamahan kita sa desisyon mong ito.

She's staring coldly at me while I wait for her answer.

"He already agreed. Sino ba naman ako para tumanggi pa diba?" aniya. She leaned herself against the chair.

That's where I fucking lost it. Wala lang nga sakanya ang lahat ng nangyari sa amin. I mean nothing to her. I'm just a fucking guy who she was forced to marry.

"It's good that we made ourselves clear," my father smiled at her

"Of course," the way she smiled insulted me. Kumunot ang noo ko. And she's happy about this?! "This will be a good opportunity for both our companies."

Tumango ang mga magulang namin. Mukhang masaya nang dahil sa napagkasunduang plano.

"I'm glad to hear that, Kels." Ani Tita Clementine.

"Hindi naman po mahirap magpakasal diba? Especially when you're only doing it for business." She turned to me and raised a brow. "Right, Benjamin?"

I clenched my jaw. I can't believe her. Is she trying to insult me? Mas ipinamumukha niya ba sa akin na wala lang ang lahat ng 'to sakanya?

I tried to make her feel that she won't go through this alone. But she was just blind to see my efforts. She just didn't care about me. She doesn't give a fuck about me.

And that fucking hurts. Because my world revolves around her... while I mean nothing to her...

Or that's what I thought...

I bought her a ring that costs more than my monthly salary. I don't know what has gotten into me to buy her one. My father volunteered to provide for our engagement ring us but I told him that I can manage. Kitang kita ko sa mukha niya ang pagkagulat.

"It's my job to provide her one, Pa." I explained. His mouth parted. Wala siyang nagawa kung hindi ang pumayag.

I went to a jewelry shop and asked what's the most expensive her they have here. Kinuha niya naman iyon at ipinakita sa akin.

It's a fourteen karat gold diamond ring. Kinuha ko ito at tsaka ito tiningnan ng maigi. This will suit her finger.

"I'm getting this one," I said without hesitation.

"Ring size, sir?" tanong ng babae.

Bumuka ang bibig ko. I actually don't know... fuck! I'm the worst fiancé ever.

Inalala ko ang mga oras na pinagmamasdan ko siya habang natutulog. I reached for her hand so I would know how her hand feels when it's intertwined with mine.

I tried to guess her ring size... I just hope this perfectly fits on her.

"Is Kelsey inside?" I asked her secretary when I reached her office.

"U-Uh..." aniya, tila ba nangangapa ng sasabihin. "S-Sir B-Benjamin, right? Ah... eh... may bilin po kasi siya sa akin..."

"Ano 'yon?" I asked, a little impatient.

"Ayaw niya po kasing magpapasok ng bisita... lalo na po kung ikaw..."

My mouth parted. I tried not to show her secretary that I was surprised by her boss' sudden cold treatment towards me. I gulped.

"Saglit lang ako. It won't take long. May ibibigay lang ako sakanya."

"Pero, sir..."

"Tell her," I commanded.

Lumunok siya bago sundin ang inuutos ko. It took Kelsey a while to answer my request. In the end, she made me enter her office. The time that I was inside her office, was one of the most painful times I've ever had in my life.

I don't know what to feel with her cold eyes that are looking directly towards me. Her treatment towards me shows that she doesn't want me here. Or anywhere near in her life.

"Kelsey, can we talk?" I tried not to sound as desperate as possible.

"No. Can't you see that I have so many things to do?" She raised a brow at me. "Ang sabi mo saglit ka lang. Well, tapos na ang oras mo dito sa opisina ko kaya makakaalis ka na."

I pursed my lips. I just want to explain to her my side but she didn't let me. Maybe her mind was clouded by her hatred towards me. Kahit anong gawin ko, ayaw niya talaga akong makausap.

I sighed heavily. "Just a minute with you, please. That's all I ask."

Baby, please let me... please... please just talk to me...

"Even a minute can hinder me from doing all these. Kaya hindi ko kayang paunlakan 'yang hinihiling mo. I'm sorry but you have to leave."

Hindi ako nakasagot. So, this is how it feels to have your heartbroken huh? Ganito rin pala ang naramdaman ng mga babaeng binalewala ko noon. This feels like karma to me. I deserved it.

I clenched my jaw and tried to find a reason to make her agree to talk to me. But I can't... ayoko nang pilitin pa siya, e. Baka mas lalo lang siyang magalit sa akin.

The years where we have to distance from one another were the hardest. Nasa iisang bahay lang kami pero nag-iiwasan pa kami. I badly want to treat her as my wife, I really do. Pero napag-isip isip ko rin na ayoko nang ipilit pa ang sarili ko sa taong ayaw naman sa akin.

The first year was definitely the hardest. Puro kami away. Kahit na maliit na bagay lang, pinag-aawayan na namin. I keep on asking her what's wrong but she keeps on shrugging it off and keeps on telling me that it's nothing.

But it's obviously not. I will keep on asking her what's wrong and the ending—we argue. Kaya minsan nananahimik nalang ako at sinusubukang ilayo nalang ang sarili sakanya para hindi na kami mag-away pa. I hate to see her cry. I hate to see her breaking. And I hate to see her getting tired of this...

I didn't want her to get tired. But I also didn't want to force her anymore into something she doesn't want to do in the first place. And that's the reason why I filed for an annulment.

If she wants to free herself from me... I'll try to accept it. Lalo na kung ang magiging kapalit noon ay ang kasiyahan niya. Her parents' took her happiness away from her. Sinusubukan ko lang na ibalik sakanya iyon. 

I'm willing to give up the fight for her. I'm willing to give her anything. Even if it will cause me pain.

"I can pay a lot. Just grant me the petition." I convinced my lawyer.

"But, Mr. Donovan-"

"This is just an arranged marriage and she's tired. She doesn't love me. And she... probably wants her freedom back."

"Is that the same case with you, Mr. Donovan?"

No... "I-I guess..."

"Seems like you're not sure of that."

"Come on. Just fucking grant me the petition."

"It will take a lot of processes. It will take a lot of time."

I sighed heavily. "I don't care. I don't care how much it costs. Just grant me the petition."

I used my power to make him grant me that damn petition that I was asking from him. We didn't go through the normal process. I paid a big amount of money. I put my lawyer's work at risk just so he could grant me this stupid piece of paper.

I clicked my pen at tsaka iyon itinapat sa papel. I'm going to sign this shit up now. After that, I'm going to tell Kelsey about this. Pagkatapos nito... magiging malaya na siya. Gaya ng gusto niya.

I stared at the paper for a while. I only managed to write my name after staring at it for a long time. I couldn't bring myself to sign it.

It feels so wrong... I... still have to think about this.

But as the time goes by... as the years goes by... I suddenly forget about that shit of paper that I filed a long time ago. It was a mistake. I shouldn't have thought about that.

I should've realized that the problems we are facing are trying to teach us a lesson. May pagkakataon talagang sinusubukan kami ng tadhana. The only thing that we should do is not give up. No matter how hard things can get.

That's why I didn't think about continuing that shit anymore. I was so focused on living the present with Kelsey, that it made me forget about it.

I just love her so much and I just can't give up on something so important to me. Something that gives me life. Something that makes me want to go on. It's hard to let go.

I always have this urge to do something for her but I just can't bring myself to do it. She always prepares breakfast for us and I feel bad for not eating it with her because I always wake up late.

I have a lot of things to finish and I just can't sleep early. So, when I had the chance, I made sure to wake up early the next day so I can join her for breakfast but what happens is that... she just stopped cooking.

She started leaving so early. Sinisigurado na hindi ko siya maaabutan. I sighed heavily and leaned against the counter.

Kinuha ko ang telepono ko upang iutos kay Regina na ikuha akong muli ng umagahan. Nang matapos ay tinitigan ko ang itsura ni Kelsey sa aking telepono.

I recently changed my background. This was taken during our wedding. Kahit na nakangiti lang siya ng kaunti sa litratong ito ay kinuha ko parin ito.

Gustong-gusto kong humingi ng tawad sakanya. I want to say sorry for not being the husband that she imagined me to be. I want to say sorry if our marriage causes her pain. I want to say sorry because she has to be forced into this.

"I'm so sorry..." I said as if I was talking to her from face-to-face.

Sinubukan kong isantabi ang lahat ng nararamdaman ko para sakanya. After all, if I told her about the annulment papers, she'll probably sign it without even thinking about it carefully. I tried to distance myself from her ever since that day. I tried so... fucking hard... but all my attempts failed. 

I can't distance myself from her. I always find myself trying to cling to her. Sinubukan ko na 'to noon. But did I succeed? No. So, what's the sense of doing it again now if I already know where this is heading. 

I had a lot of clients ever since we widened our range with construction. Ang iba kong kakilala na kapwa engineers ay sa akin rin lumalapit. Some of my colleagues even recommend me to their friends. Kaya naman ay napapadalas rin ang pagbisita ng mga kliyente sa opisina ko.

Sometimes I'll get surprised when the girls that I've been with before are now my client. Binabalewala ko nalang iyon. It's all about work.

Plus, I'm married. I'm already committed to someone. And I just don't care about them anymore... I only care about one girl.

I came home a bit late and tired. Kapag maraming ginagawa sa trabaho, minsan hindi na ako nakakauwi kay Kelsey kaya nananatili nalang muna ako pansamantala sa condo unit na malapit lang sa opisina. The lights are all turned off. Kelsey must be sleeping now. I loosened my tie and opened the lights.

Nagulat naman ako nang makita ko si Kelsey na natutulog sa sala. Her head's against all her works. She has a messy workplace. Siguro hindi na naman nakuntento sa iisang design at gumawa ng marami.

I walked towards her. Niligpit ko ang mga gamit niya. I squatted in front of her to stare at her face. The sight of her face calms me and takes my worries away. I suddenly forget how messed up our marriage is.

I ran my finger through her jaw.

"You have to take a rest sometimes. You don't always have to prove yourself to anyone else." I whispered. "I am already proud of you even before you start doing anything."

Bahagya siyang gumalaw. Mabilis kong inalis ang daliri ko sa pisngi niya. I sighed.

Hanggang dito ko nalang ba siya mahahawakan ulit? How long do we have to distance ourselves from one another? How long will I fight my feelings for her?

I carried her towards her bedroom. I gently laid her down on the bed. I tucked her in and covered herself with her comforter.

Hanggang kailan pa ba ako magtitiis na matulog mag-isa sa kwarto gayong dapat nandodoon siya at katabi ko? How long do I have to keep on waiting?

I leaned in to kiss the top of her head. "Good night."

"Bro! You've been so busy with work! When are we going to see you again? O baka naman, busy ka dyan sa bebe mo?" Charles said on the other line. I scoff as I sign some important papers.

"Tss. What makes you call, Charles?"

"Let's hang out, Benj! It's been a while! Bradley and I keep on inviting you but you always decline! Your married life is trying to hinder you from spending time with us and it's unfair!"

"My marriage doesn't have anything to do with this. I'm busy with work."

"But take some time off! I mean, you can still earn a lot even if you don't work for a day! Come on, man. Minsan lang! Give your time to us this time!"

I let out a sigh. Who am I to decline, right? Marami rin akong pagkukulang sakanila. All they wanted was to hang out, as simple as that. But I couldn't give them that because I'm busy with work and I have so many things in mind.

"Fine, man. When?"

"'Yun! Later, with Brad! You can bring Kelsey with you." I already thought about that. Pero alam ko rin ang magiging sagot niya. 

"No, that's not her thing. And she'll probably just decline my offer."

"Aww, man! That sucks! But anyway, see you later! Same time, the same place." I chuckled. Charles seems excited.

I made sure that I'll finish my work early so I can come home early. Kelsey still keeps on working her ass off. She's that hard-working. Nothing can stop her from doing what she loves.

"I'm going out with Bradley and Charles. Isasama sana kita kaso mukhang abala ka dyan."

For a second, she looks surprised. Tiningnan niya ang ginagawa. I saw her nod and smile a little. Tumango rin ako at nagtangkang maglakad patungo sa pinto nang magsalita siya.

"Ingat ka," aniya. My mouth parted. "Sa pagmamaneho."

And that's enough for me to make sure that I'll be quick. Saglit lang at uuwi rin ako agad sakanya.

But my friends seem to miss me a lot. They made me drink a lot. I couldn't refuse because I was trying to compensate for the time where I couldn't hang out with them.

"One more!" sabi ni Bradley.

"No, man. I'm good." Tinulak ko palayo sa akin ang alak na iniaalok niya.

I promised myself not to drink a lot because I'm driving later so I could come home to my wife. I felt my phone vibrated inside my pocket. Kinuha ko iyon upang tingnan kung kanino galing ang mensahe nang mabilis naman itong agawin ni Charles sa akin.

"Oh, Benjamin Donovan never refuses a drink! Come on! More!" sabi niya at tsaka itinulak sa akin ang isang shot glass.

Wala akong nagawa kung hindi ang inumin iyon. Pagbibigyan ko lang ang mag lokong 'to.

Ngunit habang tumatagal ay hindi ko napapansin na napaparami na pala ang naiinom ko. I'm slightly getting dizzy now because of too much drink. My friends keeps on giving me drinks that I can no longer count how many shots I've finished.

My eyes were about to close when I felt someone sit on my lap. Agad akong napadilat.

"Hi." The woman sitting on my lap whispered sensually in my ear.

I was taken aback by the way she sounds. Even my friends look surprised at what this woman did! She caught us all off guard!

Umiling ako. I pushed her away from my lap. She squealed a little. She did not expect that.

I groaned. "Go away... you're not Kelsey."

My friends whistled when they heard it. Napangiti nalang ako, feeling a little proud of myself. If that's Kelsey then I'll gladly let her stay in that position forever. But she isn't. Kelsey made me refuse a lot of girls from the time we met. She changed me.

Umalis nalang ang babae nang dahil sa hiya.

"The hitched guy is so in love with his wife!" Charles exclaimed when the girl left.

"Who wouldn't?" sabat ni Brad. Kumunot ang noo ko nang dahil sa sinabi niya. "Beauty and brains. Innocent but definitely sexy on the inside. I wonder-"

"Stop talking about my wife like that in front of me. Baka kung ano ang magawa ko sa'yo at kalimutan kong kaibigan kita."

"Oohh..." the both of them exclaimed. Tumawa sila.

"Mr. jealous guy is back!" si Brady.

"Fuck off!" I said then brought the glass of scotch in my mouth again.

The last time I become jealous was when I found out that Kelsey dropped off her best friend at the airport. Alam kong maliit lang na bagay iyon para pagselosan ko, but the way she looked sad the next day made me so irritated.

Is he that important to her that it made her forget that she's bound to marry me?!

I felt my phone vibrating again inside my pocket. I managed to snatch it from Charles. I check to see who texted. Pinilit kong basahin iyon kahit na hilong hilo na ako.

Princess Kelsey:

Where are you? It's already late. Text me when you're on your way home.

Are you still with Brad and Charles? Please let me know.

Are you still coming home?

I smirked because of her texts. Oh, look at my wife! So concerned and worried about me. I like it!

I suddenly found the urge to go home straight to her. I hope she won't judge me in case I went home to this state. This is Brad and Charles' fault. They forced me to drink a lot.

Kinuha ko ang susi ng aking sasakyan at tsaka tumayo. Agad na napaangat ng tingin sa akin ang mga kaibigan ko.

"Where are you going?" Brad asked.

"Home," I answered simply. I stumbled a little when I tried to move.

"You're driving?" si Charles.

"Obviously."

"Oh, no. You can't, Benj." Ani Brad. Tumayo siya upang pigilan ako sa tinatangka kong gawin.

"Kelsey's already looking for me. I'm going home."

"In a state like this?" turo ni Brad sa akin. "You're not going home."

Sinubukan niya akong pigilan pero nagpumiglas ako. Umiling ako at nilapagpasan siya. Well, I don't need their approval. My wife is waiting for me so I'm coming home.

I tried to move but they stopped me again.

"You can't drive in a state like this." Charles is the one who's trying to stop me this time.

"Then drive me home. I need to go home to Kelsey." sabi ko.

"We can't. We can only drive for a short distance. We're also drunk, Benj. Your house is very far from here."

"Uuwi ako sa asawa ko." pagpupumilit ko.

"We know how much you want to go home to your wife. But we couldn't risk it, Benj. Delikado na magmaneho ka ngayon."

"I think we should just bring him to his condo unit. It's near." Narinig kong nirekomenda ni Bradley kay Charles.

Sa tingin ko naman ay pumayag si Charles sa gustong mangyari ni Brad. Uuwi nga ako sabi sa asawa ko, e! Gusto kong magreklamo kaso masyado nang nanghihina ang tuhod ko kaya wala na rin akong nagawa nang inuwi nila ako pansamantala sa condo unit ko.

I woke up the next day with Kelsey's texts. Agad akong napabalikwas ng tayo upang basahin ang mga mensahe niya. She must be really worried.

Nagmamadali akong umalis ng unit kahit na medyo nahihilo pa. I decided to go grab a coffee on my way home to wake me up.

And while I was grabbing my coffee. I bumped into Sandra. My ex-girlfriend.

"Hey, Benj! It's good to see you here! Tamang tama pala. I want to finalize the project."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Sandra. I'm in a hurry. I need to come home. Maybe we can just talk about it at some other time or I'm just going to send someone from my team to help you with your concern."

"Sad to say that I also didn't have time. Now's the only time I'm free so... if we could talk about it now... then..."

"I can't stay longer here. I really need to come home."

"Pupwede naman tayo sa bahay niyo."

"But-"

"Come on. Don't let this opportunity pass. I'm a client."

And she's right. She's my client and I need to satisfy my client's needs and answer their concerns. I told her that it will be quick because I have some things to do. Pumayag naman siya.

She followed my car. Nagmamadali akong bumaba ng sasakyan at bubuksan ko na sana ang pinto nang magsalita naman si Sandra.

"Why are you in a hurry, Benj? I can't keep up!" she chuckled. Pinasadahan niya naman ng tingin ang bahay namin ni Kelsey. "You've got a big house huh? Nice!"

Bahagya akong tumawa at binuksan nalang ang pinto. I was about to go straight to her bedroom to check on her when I saw her already awake in the living room. Lumapat ang tingin ko sa mga gamit niya sa lamesa.

She must be waiting for me to come home last night. Fuck Charles and Bradley for not letting me come home straight to her!

Sandra cleared her throat. Ngumiti siya sa akin. I hesitated for a moment. I seriously want to walk straight to my wife to say how sorry I am for making her worry. But that will mean Sandra will have to stay here longer and I don't want that to happen.

I need this time with Kelsey. I need us to be alone.

"This will only be for a while, Sandra. I still have some things to do." Sabi ko. Tumango naman siya sabay sumunod sa akin patungo sa opisina.

Sinigurado kong magiging mabilis lang ang usapan namin. I seriously need to talk to my wife. Sobrang rami na siguro niyang naiisip. I need to explain.

"If you still need something, just call my secretary. She'll help you with it."

"Uh, Benj... regarding about what happened to us before-"

"Forget it. It doesn't matter anymore. I'm married now and I'm in a hurry because I need to talk to my wife."

Her jaw dropped. She didn't know that I was married. Umiling nalang ako at pinagbuksan siya ng pinto.

Bumaba kami ng hagdan at laking gulat ko nang naghanda pa si Kelsey ng umagahan para sa aming tatlo. Oh, Kelsey...

"Kain na kayo..." aya niya.

She must be thinking that I'm cheating on her. Oh no, baby, I can't do that to you.

Nilagpasan ako ni Sandra upang ipakilala niya ang sarili kay Kelsey. I shut my eyes out of frustration. What is she doing?

"Hi! I'm Sandra! You are?"

"Kelsey," she answered simply.

Lumapit ako sa dining table.

"Kaano-ano mo siya?" tanong ni Sandra.

Oh, fucking hell, Sandra! Don't play dumb with me. What games are you trying to play huh?

I was about to introduce her as my wife when Kelsey excused herself. Kinuha ko na rin iyong oportunidad upang pauwiin na si Sandra. I dragged her out of our house.

"Benj, I was just trying to-" aniya habang natatawa.

"You seriously need to come home. Our negotiations are done."

"I didn't think that was the type of girl you want to be with. So disappointing. She's boring."

I clenched my fist.

"If you will keep on talking about her that way, forget that you asked help from me. Find another company that will help you with your project." Sabi ko.

Her jaw dropped for the second time. Tumalikod ako sakanya. I didn't let her speak any more. I'm done with her.

When Kelsey returned to the dining table, she looked pale. That made me so worried about her. She needs to take a rest! She's exhausting herself!

"Nasaan na iyong babae?" she asked. But I ignored her question by asking if she's okay. I tried to check her.

She stayed there, emotionless. Hindi siya sumagot.

"Kelsey..."

"Nasaan na kako 'yung babae?" she laughed mockingly. "Or maybe... I should rephrase that question. Nasaan na iyong babae mo?"

I clenched my jaw. "Kelsey, she's not-"

"Ano? Nasaan na nga?"

I tried to explain to her what happened but she won't listen. Instead, she told it in my face that she thinks that there's no hope left for this relationship. She showed me that I was the only one trying to make this whole thing work. She told me that she didn't care.

But it turns out that she was lying to me...

She cares. A lot. Just like me.

I was surprised when I saw her calling. We were not on good terms and it just surprises me that she's calling. I immediately answered.

"Hello?"

Sa halip na boses niya ang sumalubong sa akin, boses ng kaibigan niya ang narinig ko sa kabilang linya.

"Can you please come home? Kelsey's drunk and I can't handle her alone."

Nang dahil doon ay mabilis kong tinapos ang lahat. I went home as quickly as possible. Nakita ko namang nag-aabang na si Jeya sa akin.

"What happened?" I asked.

"She asked me to have a drink with her. Akala ko casual lang but she drunk all your wines!"

My mouth parted a little. What has gotten into her mind to drink a lot?

"I don't know what's happening... but it seems like she has a problem. You two should talk. Communication is important, you know?"

Tumango ako at hinayaan na siyang umuwi. I went inside to check on Kelsey.

And on that night, we argued and that's also where I found out that she really cared about me. Doon ko nalaman na hindi siya napilitang magpakasal sa akin. She told me that it took her months before she realized that. 

I found out that she loves me and she feels the same towards me. I feel bad for asking her to give up...

Kaya naman nang naliwanagan na ako sa totoo niyang nararamdaman para sa akin ay hindi na ako nag-aksaya pa ng oras. I will show that I love her more than she loves me. I will treat her the way that she deserves.

I will give her the world. I will fucking give up anything for her.

"Did you ever regret marrying me, Kelsey?"

I asked her the question that's been bugging my head for a long time now.

"You just repeated my question-" she tried to laugh.

"I want you to answer that."

It took her a while before she answers my question. At first, I was already thinking that she regrets marrying me. But when I saw a tear stream down her face. My mouth parted. I attempted to reach for her but then she spoke.

"Akala ko dati, oo." she started. "But soon I realized that I don't. Because maybe... marrying you was my destiny. It was... our fate... who decided that we should end up together. I'll be honest when I say that I hated the idea that I will be married with you before. Pero kasi naisip ko, kung hindi ako sa'yo babagsak, kanino? E, ikaw lang naman 'yung lalaking minahal ko."

And that's it... that's where I knew I'm willing to marry her again. Real, this time.

Us, beginning to show our love for each other, was the happiest day of my life. Everything's going smoothly... we are now comfortable with one another. We talk a lot to each other now.

But then tragic news came into our lives. The day she lost her parents... was also the same day she lost herself.

"Sir, uh..." Regina started. Tinatapos ko nalang ang iilang trabaho at uuwi na rin ako mamaya kasama si Kelsey.

"Can you check if Kelsey's still inside her office? I want to make sure we'll come home together."

"Uh... 'yun nga po, Sir, e. Umalis na po siya."

"Huh? Saan nagpunta?" inalis ko ang tingin sa laptop at tsaka ibinaling sa sekretarya.

"Sir, sabi po ni Jona... sinugod raw po sa ospital ang mga magulang niya. Papunta na po-"

Hindi ko na siya pinatapos pa dahil dali-dali akong lumabas ng opisina ko upang tanungin si Jona sa kung anong nangyayari. She told me that Kelsey's parents were involved in a car accident at kasalukuyang nasa ospital.

Tinanong ko sakanya kung nasaang ospital nagpunta si Kelsey. Goddammit! I need to be there for her in times like this. Why do they need to leave us so soon?

When I reached the hospital, I saw Kelsey, on the ground... with her best friend. She was sobbing against his shoulder while he continually comforts her. That should be me. I should be the one in his place. I should be the one comforting her.

But I couldn't blame her if she wants him to be the one comforting her. She's known him longer than me. Mas nauna siyang pumasok sa buhay ni Kelsey bago ako. 

"Lapitan mo kasi," bulong ni Brittany sa akin habang tinatanaw ko si Kelsey at Troy. "Ikaw ang dapat dun."

I know... but I understand if she needs him more than me. May oras naman ako para ipakita sakanya na nandidito ako para sakanya. Sa akin naman siya uuwi.

"She needed her best friend more."

Brittany sighed because of my answer. "You changed a lot, did you know that?"

I scoff. "It's because she made me want to change."

Losing both of her parents was her breaking point. She wasn't eating properly. She always locks herself up in her room. She pushes people away who care for her. She pushes people away—including me.

"Why are you here?" she asked me. I couldn't see any emotions in her eyes.

Her room is always locked. I tried to knock but she won't answer that's why I took the initiative to grab the keys and open her room.

"Because we're all worried about you."

She stared blankly at me when I said that. I tried reaching for her hand but she moved her hand away from me. Clearly rejecting the comfort I was about to give her.

"I told you I'm fine."

But I didn't believe every word that she says.

"Kelsey, you can talk to me..."

Patuloy lang siya sa paninitig sa akin. Walang siyang kung ano mang sinasabi. She's just... staring at me.

Her face looks so pale—so lifeless. It's hard to see her like this. I want her out of this state.

I was about to head to the dining area to prepare Kelsey her breakfast before I leave when I saw her, sitting in the living room, quietly.

"Hey..." I called gently, lumapit ako sakanya.

I kept a little space between us because I'm afraid if I come near her, I might break her. She's been keeping all her emotions inside. She's acting like everything's fine even when it's not.

She tried to put a smile on her face. Damn it. It hurts to see that she's forcing herself to smile at me even though I know it was hard. I appreciate your effort, my love.

"Hey..." she whispered.

"What are you doing here?" nag-iwas siya ng tingin. "You hungry?"

Umiling siya. Of course, she'll answer that.

"I'm going to prepare you your breakfast." Tatayo na sana ako nang pigilan niya ako. She grabs my arm and put me back into my place.

"No need," she said, she tried to smile a little. "I can manage."

"Kelsey, you need to eat."

"I know..."

"What do you want?"

Hindi siya sumagot at sandaling tumitig sa akin. Her eyes scream so much pain. She's so broken inside. She doesn't deserve to go through this.

I opened my mouth to say something but I was interrupted when my phone rang. Nag-iwas si Kelsey ng tingin sa akin. I excused myself to answer the call.

"Yes, Regina?"

"Sir, your meeting starts in an hour. Marami na po ang nagsisidatingan. Please inform me if you're going to cancel the meeting."

I sigh. I glanced at Kelsey who's staring blankly on her fingers. I need to attend this very important meeting but I also need to be with her. I couldn't leave her here alone.

"Cancel it. I can't go." Sabi ko.

"Okay, sir. Got it," she said without asking me the reason why. I think she already knows why.  

I ended the call after that. Muli ko namang hinarap si Kelsey.

"Regina?" she asked.

"Yeah..." I said, slightly disappointed. I'm sure they're going to be mad at me again for skipping this important meeting.

But they also have to understand that I have to set my responsibility aside because I need to be here for my wife. She's going through the worst pain in her life and I want her to recover from it.

I will help her recover.

"You should probably go. Mukhang importante 'yan."

Hindi ako sumagot.

"I'll be fine here..." she whispered. She tried to reassure me by putting a small smile on her lips.

But I didn't believe her. She won't be fine here. She'll break down and it will only cause her more pain. She's been through a lot already.

"No," I said without hesitation. "I'm staying here... with you."

Her mouth parted. She clearly wasn't expecting that I'm going to skip work.

I don't care if it's the most important meeting that our company will have. All I care about is her. 

I need to be wherever she is. I need to be with her during times like this. I will not leave her. I will show her how much I care and love her. I will show her how much I want to comfort her.

I want her to know and feel that.

I will give her all my love just to make sure that I'll take all her pain away.

Kelsey managed to recover with my help. I have always visited her in her office ever since she went back to work. Sometimes she'll be the one to visit me and I always make sure that the doors are locked because we both know what happens when she's inside my office.

She went over my desk. Kinuha niya ang iilang frames na nandodoon.

"This used to be blank before. Why is my picture here now?" nginisian niya ako at tinasaan ako ng kilay.

As if she doesn't know the reason behind that...

"It's simple. I've found someone worthy of being in that frame."

She nodded pleasingly. Binaba niya ang picture frame at tsaka ako nginisian muli. I walked towards her. Palaki ng palaki ang ngisi niya habang papalapit ako sakanya. She keeps on moving backward.

Niliitan ko siya ng mga mata. She won't get away from me. I will always run after her no matter where she goes.

She didn't succeed in running away from me because I quickly grabbed her waist and pull her close towards me. She was giggling when I pressed my body on her.

I'm glad that my baby is back now. I'm glad she's no longer living in that darkness.

These are the moments that made me forget that I filed a fucking annulment. I thought everything's going so well now. Akala ko tuloy tuloy na itong kasiyahan na meron kami. Pero agad ring nakuha paalis sa amin ang kasiyahan na iyon. I was reminded of the annulment papers that I filed when my lawyer called.

Without looking at the caller's ID, I answered the call. Nagulat nalang ako nang bumungad ang boses ni Atty. Dominguez sa kabilang linya. I stopped. I sit up straight. Suddenly alerted that I'm talking to the lawyer I asked to grant me the petition for annulment.

The paper that I've been keeping away from Kelsey for a long time now.

She's just right in front of me. I don't want her to hear any of this. She raised her gaze at me. I suddenly felt nervous. I should've expected that this day would come. I should've dismissed the case a long time ago.

"Uh... I forgot something in my office. It's in a blue folder inside my drawer. Can you get it for me? I just have to take this call."

"Of course." She immediately obliged.

I made sure that she's completely out of my sight before I talk to Atty. Dominguez.

"Attorney,"

"Mr. Donovan," he started.

"What makes you call?" I asked.

Idiot, Benjamin. You know why he's calling. He's probably calling to remind you of that stupid piece of paper that you filed!

Fuck. Why am I so nervous? I feel like something bad is about to happen.

"I'm calling to ask if you are still planning to pursue with the annulment. It's been a while since I last heard from you."

My mouth parted. Ni minsan hindi na sumagi pa sa isip ko na ituloy pa iyon. Nakalimutan ko na nga ang tungkol doon, e.

"It's been years and I still haven't heard anything from you."

"Oh. I'm sorry. I lost track of it."

"Are you still going to pursue it?"

My eyes darted to Kelsey and I's wedding photo. We both looked forced in this picture. But it's different now. I don't feel forced anymore. I feel like I'm the happiest man on earth whenever I'm with her. 

Hindi ko na kailangan pang pag-isipan ang sagot. I don't see any reasons to pursue with this stupid annulment anymore.

"No. I don't want to pursue it anymore. I want you to dismiss the petition immediately."

"Hmm..." he said, I can feel he's slightly surprised with my answer. "Okay. This might take a while again."

"I don't care. I just want this done immediately."

"Okay then, Mr. Donovan. I'm glad you changed your mind. I'm wishing you nothing but the best in your marriage."

"Thank you."

Natapos ang usapan naming nang hindi parin nakakababa si Kelsey. What's taking her so long?

"Did you get the papers, Kelsey?"

"Y-Yes!"

Little did I know that it was also the moment where she finds out about the papers. 

Late akong natapos sa trabaho at alam kong tulog na siya pagkauwi ko. She asked to sleep in her room again. I find that weird for a moment but I just let her. It feels lonely not to sleep beside her. I got used to it already. I got used to caging her inside my arms while we sleep.

While I was on my way, I bought Kelsey a bouquet of flowers out of nowhere. Thank god, there's still a store open at this moment.

"Dedication card, sir?" the florist suggested. I smiled. 

"I would love to." He handed me a piece of paper.

I started writing my dedication to her.

To my beautiful wife,

You're someone that I needed in this life. You complete me, Kels. And I can't imagine my life without you.

You may find these things corny, but it's the truth. You have to admit that you have the best husband in the world. ;)

I love you.

-Benj

It was already dark inside when I came home. Binaba ko ang mga dalang bulaklak sa lamesa. I hope this is the first thing that she sees when she wakes up.

I went upstairs, slightly hoping that Kelsey's in our room sleeping. Pero agad naman akong nadismaya nang makita ko siyang natutulog sa kwarto niya. I went inside.

"Tsk. You should've slept inside our room."

I went straight to her bed to fix her blanket. I brushed her hair. I smiled, feeling satisfied. Makita ko lang siya, mabilis na nawawala ang pagod ko. Seeing her is enough to make me sleep with a smile on my face.

"Good night, Kels."

Ngunit kung ano naman ang ikinasaya ng pagtulog ko, 'yun naman ang ikinalungkot ng paggising ko. I jolted up when I heard someone honk. Kumunot ang noo ko.

Who would dare to honk their car early in the morning?

I shifted from my position and the first thing that welcomed my sight was a piece of paper that's resting on the side table. Bahagya akong bumangon upang tingnan kung ano iyon.

My name is written on the back of the paper. I quickly open it.

Benjamin,

Before anything else, I just want to say sorry that you have to read this kind of letter. I'm sorry if this is the first thing that you'll read in the morning.

Benj, I know you've done a truly amazing job in making me feel better. But you've also done a great job in breaking my heart.

We were going on so well, I thought everything's fine. But then, I found out about this paper that you've been hiding away from me. I tried to look for some excuses. Maybe I was just wrong. Maybe I only misread it.

But I realized that the more I try to read it, the more it becomes real.

I couldn't blame you for filing an annulment... but I just don't understand. How long would you like to keep that away from me? How many years have you been hiding that away from me?

Hindi rin naman kita masisisi, e. Nakakapagod nga naman ang relasyon natin. Our relationship wasn't always glitz and happiness. It always involves pain, heart aches, arguments, and sadness. Kaya hindi rin kita masisisi kung napapagod ka na.

After all, I am tired, too. I'm tired of asking myself questions that I know you're the only one who can answer. I'm tired of everything.

I just don't want to hope anymore. I just want to end this.

If you really want an annulment, I already made it easy for you. Pinirmahan ko na baka kasi iyon nalang ang hinihintay mo.

I know I won't find the answer through this letter. But for the last time, I hope this will enlighten me in the future. I may not understand what was happening, but hopefully, soon I will.

Maybe I just really have to accept it. All things come to an end. Even the most beautiful thing must also come to an end.

I have to accept that this is where we end. We both have to accept that WE HAVE to end. I hate to do this. But I have to, right? It's for the better. It will only hurt us more if we continue this, knowing that we have burdens that we carry on our backs. We've been through a lot of pain and I think it's time that we should rest from it.

We need to grow. We have to learn how to grow without each other.

I love you in every way that I can. I'll miss the future I might have had with you.

Be safe. Know that I tried very hard to stay. I love you. I always will.

Goodbye, Benjamin.

-Kelsey.

Dali-dali akong bumangon. Umaasa akong maabutan ko pa siya. I hope she doesn't leave. I'm going to beg. Wala na akong pakialam pa kung magiging kaawa awa man ako. I just don't want her to leave me.

I want her here. With me.

"You are not leaving me," I said. I tried to conceal the pain that I'm feeling inside.

"I can't stay."

"But I love you."

"But loving you isn't enough reason to make me stay."

And that pained my heart a million times. She was really eager about leaving me. Heck, she even managed to pack all her things without me knowing!

Is this the reason why she's been acting weird lately? Sabi ko na nga ba may mali, e. Sana pinakinggan ko ang sarili ko. I believed her when she told me that everything's fine even though it feels that it doesn't.

"Are you willing to sacrifice your love for me?" Fuck! I sound so desperate!

Hindi agad siya sumagot. This is the first time I ever cried for a girl. This is the first time I've fallen in love like this. And this is also the first time I got my heartbroken.

Ang sakit pala. Tangina! Ang sakit, sakit pala.

"Yes. If it means that I'll stop hurting then yes... I will."

"Kelsey..."

And that's it... I had her... and I lost her.

Sinubukan kong humanap ng paraan para kumbinsihin siya na wag umalis. I fucking gave up everything. My dignity... my ego... my pride... pero sa huli, wala parin.

She really wants to leave and I couldn't do anything. What she did was wrong. She should've talked to me. I will listen. I will explain.

But then, I couldn't blame her. She recently just went through a heartbreak. Maybe that made her impulsive. Maybe she wasn't thinking clearly. Maybe she listens more to her brain than her heart.

Pinilit ko ang sarili na intindihin siya. Baka sa mga susunod na araw bumalik rin siya sa akin. Patuloy akong umaasa. Lumiliban ako sa trabaho at nagbabaka sakaling maabutan ko si Kelsey na bumalik.

Pero hindi nangyari 'yun...

"Man, I need her." napailing nalang ako ng ilang beses nang maramdaman kong tumulo ang mga luha ko.

Troy held on to my shoulder to offer me comfort. Hindi ko alam kung bakit sa dinami-rami ng tao sa mundo, siya pa ang sinabihan ko tungkol sa problema ko.

"I did not realize how much I needed her until the day that she left me." dagdag ko.

Hindi siya kumibo. Maybe he understands my pain. He is Kelsey's best friend; he has known her longer than me. He understands how her brain works more than mine.

"I want to get angry with her. I want to blame her for this heartache. But I can't... no matter how hard I try, I just couldn't bring myself to get angry with her."

"That's what love is, man." Aniya. "Kahit anong galit mo sakanya, basta mahal mo, wala parin. Love is always greater than hate."

I wiped my tears away. It's been a year since she went away. Hanggang ngayon hindi ko alam kung nasaan siya. No one knows where she is.

"She really wants to do this, did she?" I asked. Troy shrugs his shoulder. I scoff. "Maybe she does. And I just have to accept it. I have to let her do whatever she wants. I have to accept that maybe... she has no plans on coming back to me."

Humilig si Troy sa sofa. Naramdaman ko ang pag-iling niya. There are a lot of things that's going on in my head. Kung ano ano na ang naiisip ko. Minsan hindi ko na napagiisipan pa ng mabuti ang lahat ng sinasabi at ginagawa ko. 

"Will you be fine with her?"

What the hell! Why am I asking this? Why do I sound like I'm giving up!?

"Huh?" nagugulohan niyang tinanong.

"I want her to be with someone who will treat her and give her all the love that she deserved from me," I paused. "I want her to be with someone who will see her always as I do."

Troy laughs. I glared at him.

"I'm serious," I said. Tumigil siya sa pagtawa at ngumisi. He shakes his head. "Will you be fine with her?"

"Are you kidding me?" he asks like he knows I was being impossible. Pain made me want to say all these.

Hindi ako sumagot. Umayos naman siya sa pagkakaupo.

"What do you really care about?"

"I just want her to be happy," I said. "No matter what that means... I just want her to be happy."

"Is that the case?" tumango ako. "Pero inisip mo ba kung may kayang gumawa niyan maliban sa'yo?"

Hindi ako nakasagot. Mariin ko nalang ipinikit ang aking mga mata. 

"No one's capable of doing that except you." He says. "You're the only one who can do that. Ikaw lang ang gusto niyang nagpapasaya sakanya. She will never want me the same way that she wants you. She will always see me as her best friend and nothing more."

I didn't answer. My mind is a mess. What is happening to me?

"I know Kelsey way too much. I probably know her more than you... but I also know who her heart wants... it's you."

I let out a sigh. Hindi parin ako sumagot. The pain that I'm feeling is unbearable. I don't know how I can still go through the day without breaking apart.

"You think she'll be happier with someone that isn't you?" Troy asked.

"It's not impossible. She left me." I finally spoke... but with a fucking stupid answer.

"Don't tell me you're giving up."

I don't know... I fucking don't know...

"She's not coming back."

"Who told you that?"

"It's been a year, Troy. Kung babalik siya, sana matagal na niyang ginawa. If she really wants to come back to me, hindi na niya sana pinatagal pa ng isang taon."

He pats my back. "Patience is a virtue, man. Don't ever dare to give up on my best friend."

And I hold on to that. I waited until I can no longer handle the thought of not being with her. I asked someone to look for her. I need to know where she is. Kahit masulyapan ko lang siya ng kahit na saglit, sapat na sapat na para sa akin.

Nang malaman ko kung nasaan siya, I immediately started forming a plan. I went there on my own sometimes. Sinusulyapan siya sa malayo habang naglalakad. She likes to roam around the streets. Sometimes I'll see her with food.

She really loves trying out new food.

When Gio asked for help from our company to help him build his hotel, I made this an opportunity to go to Amsterdam again. I needed a reason to skip work again. Sa tingin ko hindi na sila naniniwala sa paulit-ulit kong rason.

"Ask Kelsey to design the hotel for you," I commanded. He raised a brow.

"Did you seriously drop by to talk about your ex-lover?"

"She's not my ex."

"She basically is."

I sighed heavily. I went straight to his desk.

"Come on, Gio. I won't help you with this project if you won't help me with this."

"Is that a threat?" umiling siya at tumawa. "You have a lot of skilled architects in your company. I can't believe you're neglecting them."

"I'm not neglecting them. I just want you to help me on this one."

"And why should I help you with this?" he raised his brows and waited for me to answer.

Ugh! I hate him more than Dominic. He always has a lot of questions to ask! Hindi ba pwedeng pumayag nalang siya?!

"Because Kelsey is a great architect and I need to see her."

He laughed out loud. "You don't even know where she is!"

"I do."

Tumigil siya sa pagtawa at nilakihan ako ng mata. "Are you serious?!"

"Yes, that's why you really need to help me with this."

Ngumuso siya at nag-isip. Why does he need to think? If he's really my cousin, he wouldn't think twice about helping me! This bastard!

"What do I have to do?"

Ah! Finally!

"Ask her to design the hotel for you. Personally."

"Personally?! Are you kidding me?!"

"No," I answered seriously.

"Where she is by the way?"

"In Amsterdam."

"In Amster-what?! You want me to travel all the way to Amsterdam just for this?! Oh, man, seriously!" He released an exaggerated sigh. He looks at me like I was the most impossible human being on earth.

"You can also invite her to your wedding personally," I suggested. Medyo kumalma naman siya doon. "I'll pay for our ticket."

"Sasama ka?"

Konting-konti nalang talaga babatukan ko na 'to, e. Pumikit ako sabay hinilot ang sentido. Hindi ko sinagot ang tanong niya. I stared at him and waited for him to realize what I meant by that.

"Well, yeah, obviously..." sabi niya. He rolled his eyes. "When are we leaving?"

"Two days from now."

"Two days- how did you manage to get- Okay... yeah, don't underestimate a Benjamin Donovan. How am I going to explain this to my fiancée?"

"Ako na ang bahala."

Umirap siyang muli sabay humilig sakanyang swivel chair. Itinuko niya ang kanyang siko sa arm rest nito sabay ngumisi sa akin.

"You're still madly in love with her even though she left you huh?"

At anong akala niya sa akin?

"It doesn't matter. Pack your things once you get home."

"Okay, boss."

I was really anxious while we were on our way to Amsterdam. Gio doesn't seem to mind me because he's busy with some other things. I tried to work while we were on our way, but I can't.

My mind's just so focused on the fact that I'm going to see Kelsey today. Again.

"Tell her you're meeting her at Ciel Bleu. I reserved a table." I reminded Gio as we were entering our hotel rooms.

"Hmm... very prepared. I'm amazed."

"Shut up." Sabi ko sabay pumasok na ng tuluyan sa kwarto.

I was looking forward on the next day. Ginising ko ng maaga si Gio para maaga rin siyang makapaghanda.

"Did she reply?" I asked him out of curiosity. He glanced at me then he returned his eyes back on his phone.

"Yeah. She said okay."

"'Yun lang?"

Umatras siya at tinaasan ako ng kilay. "Does she need to add more to that? Does she need to tell me what she's wearing when I know exactly how she looks like?"

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. I threw the towel to his face. Kinuha niya ito sabay tumawa at umiling.

"So crazy..." he mocked. "Very, very crazy..." 

Hindi ko nalang siya pinansin pa at naghanda nalang para sa pag-alis namin. 

"Enter with me." ani Gio.

"She might see me."

"Hindi ba 'yun naman ang gusto mo?"

Bumagsak ang balikat ko. Ilang beses ko bang kailangang i-orient ang isang 'to? If I could only threw multiple punches on someone's face, it would be Gio's.

"Come on. Enter now. Don't forget my letter."

He gave me an expression where he looks like he was being forced to do this. Damn this man. If only I wasn't desperate enough to do this then I won't even bother on asking help from him.

Gio entered the restaurant confidently. Sumilip ako at nakita na papalapit na siya kay Kelsey. Dali-dali akong pumasok at naupo sa isa pang table na pinareserba ko.

I'm glad she didn't notice my entrance. Bakas sa mukha niya ang pagkabigla. Maybe I should applaud my cousin for his good acting skills.

Lumapit sa akin ang isang waitress. She offered me a menu.

"Just tell me when you need anything, sir."

"Thank you."

I used the menu to hide my face from them. Kelsey really has no idea that I was here. She really thought that Gio was alone.

I hope the letter that I wrote will make her change her mind. It's been two years. Sana maisipan na niyang bumalik. If not, then...

I don't know.

I will just keep on hoping, I guess? Even though it might seem impossible.

I sighed in relief when I saw Gio handing the letter to her. Bumuka ang bibig niya at sandaling napatitig sa papel na inilalahad ng pinsan ko sakanya.

She reached for the paper slowly. Sana hindi niya balewalain. I really hope she will change her mind.

When they stood up from their seat, I quickly hid myself using the menu. Sinubukan kong sumilip pero nagulat nalang ako nang patungo na sila sa entrada ng restaurant. Nilagpasan ako ni Kelsey at lumabas ng restaurant nang walang kamalay-malay na nandidito ako.

On the other hand, Gio's looking at me with a smirk on his face. Umiiling siya habang natatawa. As if he wasn't like this to his girl.

Tumayo na ako at sinabayan siya sa paglalakad. Tinapik niya ako sa balikat. I swear he couldn't stop laughing that's why I elbowed him on his stomach.

On the day of his marriage, all I could think about was Kelsey and I's wedding. I don't know what I should feel. I'm having mixed emotions.

I honestly want to be happy while I witness my cousin getting married to the girl of his dreams. But I just couldn't help it. Loneliness has slowly crashed down on me. I miss her. So, so bad.

"Won't you join us for the after-party?" my mother asked. Agad akong umiling.

"No. I'm going home."

Pinilit niya ang sarili na ngumiti sa akin. She held me on my shoulders.

"Call me when you need anything." I smiled and nod my head.

I kissed her on her cheek before I proceeded on saying goodbye to the newlyweds. I told my goodbye to our other relatives, too.

I removed my suit while I was walking towards my car. Pumasok ako doon at sandaling natigilan. I stared at nothing.

What if she won't come back anymore? What if she has no plans on returning? How will I learn how to live my life without her?

Maybe I should also stop hoping. She won't come back anymore... I should start accepting it.

Tamad kong binuhay ang sasakyan at sinubukang balewalain lahat ng naiisip. I slowly opened our front door when I reached the house. Binaba ko ang suit na hawak sa sofa at sandaling nanatili doon. I stared at Kelsey's paintings on the wall.

I'm left with nothing but memories of her. Pumikit ako at pinilit na pigilan na tumulo ang luha sa aking mukha. I pressed the bridge of my nose.

Wala sa sarili akong umakyat patungo sa kwarto niya noon. Hindi ko alam kung anong pumasok sa isip ko para pumunta dito. I haven't visited her room in a while. The last time I've been here was months ago. I used to do this all the time before. I keep on checking her room, hoping that she's back.

But every time I do that, nabibigo lang ako.

Ngunit sadyang mapaglaro nga talaga ang tadhana. Handa na akong mabigo ulit. Handa na akong tanggapin na baka hindi na siya bumalik.

Pero nung oras na buksan ko ang ilaw at mukha niya ang bumungad sa akin, labis labis na pagkatuwa at pagkagalak ang naramdaman ko. 

I wasn't expecting this at all. I was just about to stop hoping, but then this happened... As if this is telling me that I shouldn't stop hoping and waiting for the only woman I loved this much.
Love truly always find their way back.

My lips started to shake. Is this real? Is she really now? For real?

I walked towards her and touched her face as if I was making sure that what I'm seeing is not just an illusion. This is real.

"Oh, damn..." I said as the tears started to stream down my face. I held her hand.

You will never, ever let go of that hand again, Kelsey. I will never let you go. You're stuck with me.

I quickly grab my phone inside my pocket. Dali-dali kong tinawagan si Troy.

He answered after its third ring.

"Hey, man. What's up?" salubong niya.

"S-She's back. She finally came back... She finally came back to me..." I said in between my tears.

Gusto ko nalang matawa nang dahil sa nangyayari. I can't believe that the first person I called was Troy—the person behind my jealousy before.

Since then, I made sure to propose and marry her before this year ends. That was my biggest goal this year and I'm so glad that I was able to achieve it.

She was looking down on the floor while the church's door is opening. Nang unti-unti niyang inangat ang kanyang mukha ay hindi ko na napigilan pa ang sarili na maluha. I've waited for this to happen again in such a long time. 

It still feels surreal to get married to the love of your life for the second time. This will always be a surprise to me. 

Bradley pat me on my shoulder. Binigyan niya ako ng panyo upang gamitin kong pangpalis ng luha ko. I feel like I fucking cried like a baby while watching her walk down the aisle. 

I stood up straight when I saw her near. I cleared my throat. I stared and examined her face. I still can't believe this is happening again. 

She came back to me after being away for two years. And she's now marrying me again. She made me the happiest man on earth!

"You are so beautiful." I couldn't help but tell her. She blushed lightly. 

"Thank you." aniya sabay kinuha ang kamay ko. I held on to her hand so tight, I didn't want her to let go. I want her to assure me that she won't leave me again. 

Hinding-hindi ko talaga kakayanin. 

"It came true," she said to me as we reached the altar. 

My forehead creased. "What?" 

"My imagination."

My mouth parted. It took me seconds before I realized what she means by that imagination. I suppress a smile. 

"I think I know what that image is now."

She dreams of seeing her husband cry as he watches her walk down the aisle. Sabi niya may kulang parin sa kasal namin noon, pero sa ngayon sa tingin ko kumpleto na. I cried like a baby without me noticing it. 

I didn't force myself, for your information. Kusang lumabas ang luha ko. 

Sa tingin ko ganito rin naman ang magiging reaksyon nila kung sila ang nasa pwesto ko. Imagine seeing the woman you love the most, willingly gives herself to you. It's more than anything. 

Wala rin namang pagkakaiba sa mga nasaksihan kong kasal noon. Aiden cried while seeing Ana walk down the aisle. Jaxon cried when he sees Margaux walk down the aisle. Kiel cried when he sees my sister walking down the aisle. Gio cried while seeing her bride walk down the aisle. 

We all felt the same way. They made us feel what true love really means. 

I bit my lip as I watch my wife hold on to the railing of our yacht, while she lets the strong wind hit her face. She requested to go to the beach again.

This is her ultimate request when she's pregnant: go to the beach.

And of course, being the best husband in the world and being under the control of her power, I agreed and made sure that she'll have the best time of her life.

Lumakad ako palapit sakanya. I immediately snaked my arms around her when I reached her. She jumped a little.

Nilingon niya naman ako sabay nginitian. She leaned into me and rest her head on my shoulder.

I love the way she makes me feel. She makes me feel like anything is possible... everything is certain with her.

She makes me feel so many things. Life is worth it with her.

"Mahal na mahal kita." I whispered. Humarap siya sa akin. 

Kelsey smiled at me and brushed my cheek. "I know. I love you, too, Benj. So, so much!"

I pulled her closer to me. I don't think that the space between us is enough. I need her to be close to me all the time. 

My hands went through her swollen stomach. We're expecting our third child this March. Our twins are very excited to meet their baby brother.

"Let's make more babies," I said seriously.

Natawa naman siya nang dahil doon. Humarap siya sa akin. "Stop it, Benj! Hindi pa nga lumalabas 'tong pangatlo natin may pinaplano ka na agad dyan!"

I chucked because of her remark. She really knows how to shut me off. Nawala tuloy bigla ang pagseseryoso ko.

"I will never ever get tired of telling you how much I love you, baby. You're all that matters to me. You're everything that I see."

She chuckled. "You're absolutely the best thing that ever happened to me."

I smiled at my beautiful wife. That was the only thing I needed to hear in this lifetime. I feel satisfied. I will not ask for anything for more. I just need her and my family. 

I pressed a long kiss on her lips.

"Thank you for bringing our children into this world. I'm so grateful."

"And thank you for loving me, Benj. Thank you for everything."

I held her cheek. I stared at her, examining every single detail of her beautiful face.

"Will you be able to put up with me for another sixty more years?" I asked my lovely wife. I smirked.

"I'll be looking forward to it."

She smiled.