Song: The Love You Left Behind- Michael Schulte

Surprise

"Ugh! I'm bored! Let's go out!" Jeya said then she groaned.

I rolled my eyes at her and chuckled.

"Let's go to the Van Gogh Museum!" aya ko. Ngumiti ako sa kanya at nagbabakasakaling gumana ito at bumigay siya sa gusto kong mangyari.

"Seriously?! Haven't you been there for like three times already? Hindi ka pa ba nagsasawa?"

Umiling ako kaya siya naman ang napairap ngayon. Napakamot siya sa kanyang leeg sa sobrang frustration.

Jeya arrived here in Amsterdam yesterday to visit me. While I've been here for two years now.

Sa loob ng dalawang taon na iyon ay hindi ako umuwi sa Pilipinas. Marami na nga rin ang nagtatanong kung kailan ako babalik pero hindi ko rin naman masagot dahil hindi ko alam kung kailan.

I know two years is such a long time to get away from everything. But I'll be honest when I say that it really did help me.

"Come on! Suggest something else!"

"Bakit? It's really amazing to be inside the Van Gogh museum!"

"I know but... pwede next time nalang 'yun? Sa iba na muna ngayon!"

"E, saan mo gustong pumunta?"

I gave her a questioning look. What she did in return is she smirked at me na para bang may tinatago ako sakanya. Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay.

"What?" I asked.

"Wala ka bang ipapakilala sa akin?" tanong niya. Tumawa ako.

Oh, here comes the issue girl again! Lahat nalang talaga issue sakanya!

"Wala! Bakit? Meron ba dapat?"

Niliitan niya ako ng mata. Sa paraan ng pagtingin niya sa akin, akala mo may ginawa na akong kasalanan na hindi ko magawa-gawang sabihin.

"Hmm... I don't know. Haven't you met someone?"

Natawa ako nang dahil doon. "Did you seriously went here to ask me that?"

"Well... I'm just curious!"

I scratch my head. Hay nako! Si Jeya talaga kahit kailan!

"Wala, Jeya. Okay?"

"Bakit naman? You're single! You're free to meet someone! At tsaka... two years ka na dito. Imposible namang wala."

"Jeya, I have no friends here. Kung meron man, itong kapit bahay. And she's a senior citizen!"

Ngumiwi siya at umirap sa akin.

"Hmm. Okay, fine. Baka kasi... hindi ka pa nakakamove on kaya..."

I pushed her away playfully. Tumawa naman siya nang dahil doon.

"Kahit kailan ka talaga."

Kinuha ko ang phone ko at tsaka naghanap ng lugar kung saan ko pupwedeng ipasyal itong bwisita ko. Patuloy lang ako sa paghahanap hanggang sa nagsalita muli si Jeya.

"Speaking of... have you ever talked to him since you left?"

Nawala ang atensyon ko sa aking telepono at tsaka ibinaling ito muli kay Jeya. My mouth parted a little. Sandali akong napatitig sakanya at hindi agad nakasagot.

Nang mapansin ko ang naging reaksyon niya ay nginitian ko siya at tsaka umiling. I heard her sigh.

"I see... do you even know... what's up?"

"Why? Is there something that I should know?"

Jeya shrugged her shoulders. She bit her lower lip. She smiled at me apologetically before she speaks.

"It's not my intention to make issues ha? But... I've seen a lot of articles about him. May mga girls kasi na... alam mo 'yun... umaaligid?"

"Oh!" I exclaimed. "Yeah... I've heard."

I've heard because of my freaking cousin who doesn't shut up about giving me updates about my ex-husband. Hindi ko naman siya tinatanong tungkol kay Benjamin pero lagi niyang bukambibig. Like he's teasing me!

All I wanted to know is the status of our company! Pero eto namang pinsan ko... ibang status ang ibinabalita sa akin.

"O-Okay lang sa'yo 'yun?" medyo nahihiyang tinanong ni Jeya.

"Bakit naman hindi?" napaiwas ako ng tingin sakanya. "He's single... he's free to meet someone else."

"Is that the case?"

Yeah, right. Is that the case, Kelsey? Okay nga lang ba talaga sa'yo?

"Of course." I said nonchalantly.

That day, we still ended up visiting the Van Gogh museum. Walang nagawa si Jeya dahil ako naman itong magttour sakanya. At isa pa... she seems to enjoy the place! Nung una, aayaw ayaw pa pero mamaya, manghang-mangha naman sa lahat ng nakikita.

After that, we went to that famous canal here in Amsterdam. Nag-aya pang magbike itong si Jeya at mukhang sinusulit talaga ang bakasyon dito.

I've been to many places in Europe, ever since I left. I've been to Rome, to Venice, to Vatican, to Paris, to London, to Norway and many other European countries. I've been there all alone and it's funny because this is the first time I've roamed around an unfamiliar place without someone with me.

Noong nagpunta ako sa Barcelona, dapat mag-isa lang talaga ako noon. But since I accidentally bumped into Benjamin, nakapaglibot ako ng may kasama sa lugar na iyon.

I was busy reading a message from my cousin nang bigla naman akong hilahin ni Jeya.

"I want to try some gelato!" aya niya.

At dahil tour guide ako ng isang 'to... pumayag ako. Habang nag-oorder siya ay binasa ko ang mensahe ng pinsan ko.

Marcus:

Can you make a design for our upcoming project? Gustong-gusto kasi noong kliyente iyong naging design mo doon sa hotel. He's asking if you can make one for him? It would be lovely if you'll reply as soon as possible.

Agad akong nagtipa ng mensahe.

Me:

When is that due? I'm kind of busy since my friend is here to visit me. I'll find time to make one. What is he looking for though?

Marcus:

The design is up with you according to him.

Me:

Oh, well... that's quite hard. But I'll try. Sasabihan agad kita kapag may naisip na ako.

Marcus:

He's willing to travel to meet up with you. Is that fine?

Me:

Who is the client by the way?

Marcus:

He's a famous businessman. I forgot his name. But I'm sure you know him. So... is it okay if he'll go there so you two can talk about the design?

Kahit na nakakahiya para sa kliyente na siya pa mismo ang pupunta dito para makausap ako tungkol sa design ay pumayag na rin ako sa huli. After all, it's the client who also keeps on insisting. I'll be meeting up with him when Jeya leaves.

Nang matapos sa pakikipag-usap kay Marcus ay iniabot na sa akin ni Jeya ang inorder niya na gelato sa akin. I smiled when I figured that she knows what to order for me.

"Pistachio... For the pistachio girl." She said as she hands me my gelato.

I smirked. Nang dahil sa sinabi niya ay may bigla akong naalala. I remember Benjamin calling me pistachio girl when I ordered a pistachio flavored gelato again for the second time. We were roaming around the streets of Barcelona when he decided that we should get another gelato.

"You are such a pistachio girl. It's insane. Hindi ka ba nagsasawa?" kunot noo siyang lumingon sa akin.

Why? Is ordering a pistachio flavored gelato that bad? Wala na akong magagawa pa kung ito ang paborito ko!

"Well... you can't do anything about it. It's my favorite. Deal with it." sabi ko sabay umirap sakanya.

Naaalala ko pa noong mga panahon na ito. We're kind of not in good terms during this time. But as the years goes by, I did not expect to find myself to be crazy in love with him.

Akala ko noong una, hanggang inis, galit at pagkasuya lang ang mararamdaman ko sakanya. Ngunit sadyang mapaglaro ang tadhana. The guy that I used to hate before, is also the guy that I'm still in love with.

Siguro hindi lang talaga madaling kalimutan ang lahat. It's been years but our memories together still lives on within my heart.

It's hard to forget things especially when you already treasured them. Kaya kapag nakikita mong unti-unti nang inaagaw sa iyo iyong mga panahon na iyon, masakit. Kasi doon ka nakaramdam ng labis na saya. At kung kailan masaya ka na, tsaka ka pa masasaktan ulit.

"Huy!"

I jumped a little nang bigla akong gulatin ni Jeya. Para akong bumalik sa dating anyo nang dahil doon.

"Huh? What?"

Umirap siya at bumagsak ang balikat. "Saan na kako tayo sunod na pupunta?"

"Uh... I guess, sa Vondelpark?"

"Hmm. Seems exciting! Let's go!"

Agad kaming nagpunta doon ni Jeya. It's not a surprise anymore that there's a lot of people are here. This place is usually used for relaxation. The green grasses and the clear water are just soothing.

We were walking side by side when Jeya thought of something.

"Siguro... masarap magpunta dito kasama 'yung special someone mo. Imagine sitting on the grass while you talk about things... your future together... is just amazing! I wonder when will I bring someone here?"

Bahagya akong tumawa at natahimik.

Paano kaya kung si Benjamin ang kasama ko dito? Will we do those things that Jeya mentioned?

Inilibot ko ang tingin sa buong paligid. I'm seeing a lot of couples here. Ang iba ito ang ginagawang lugar para magpropose. I've seen scenarios like that before and it makes me so happy for them.

Paano kaya kung isang araw... makita ko si Benjamin dito... pero may kasama nang iba? Paano kung... dito niya rin binabalak na magpropose sa taong iyon? Paano kung isa pa ako sa maging saksi ng proposal na iyon?

Will I be happy?

Sinabi ko na rin naman sakanya noon na kung may makikilala siyang iba, ayos lang sa akin. Magiging masaya ako para sakanya. He deserves so much happiness. At kung masaya siya kasama ang babaeng iyon, masaya na rin ako.

But it's hard though. I used to imagine myself in that position and now it's hard to imagine him with someone else.

"Siguro... ikaw... may dinala ka na dito?" pang-aasar ni Jeya.

I let out a sigh. "Ayan ka na naman."

Sabay kaming tumawa pagkatapos noon.

When Jeya left for Philippines, I arranged my scheduled meet up with Marcus' client. I still don't know who it is though. I just hope that... he's really a client.

I went to Ciel Bleu Restaurant since Marcus told me that this is where the client wants to meet. Mukha namang maayos iyong sinasabi ni Marcus na kliyente dahil hindi naman iyon mag-aaya sa isang magandang restaurant kung may balak iyong masama.

I was escorted by one of the waiters and he immediately handed me a menu. I ordered a bottle of white wine while I wait for the said client. Ayoko munang mag-order ng pagkain habang wala pa iyong kausap ko.

It would be awkward if my food is already served while the client is still searching for a food to eat. Mas mabuti na sigurong sabay na kaming mag-order.

The white wine quickly arrived and I asked the waiter to pour some for me. Medyo naging matagal ang paghihintay ko kaya buong akala ko noong una ay hindi na iyon sisipot pa.
I was about to lose hope when I saw someone familiar entered the restaurant.

My eyes widened a little. Is he my client or not? Baka nandito lang siya para magbakasyon at nasakto lang na iisang restaurant lang ang napuntahan namin?

Agad na tumama ang tingin niya sa akin kaya naman ay napangiti siya. He strides towards my table.

"Kelsey!" he greeted. Lumapit siya sa akin at tsaka ako niyakap.

"Gio! W-What are you doing here?" hindi ko makapaniwalang tinanong.

"I'm your client, Kels. Surprise!"

My jaw dropped. Hindi makapaniwala ko siyang tiningnan.

"W-What? Y-You're the client?!"

"Yes! And it's been a while since I last saw you! You look great! Ganyan ba ang naidudulot ng pag-layo sa pinsan ko?"

Hindi agad ako nakasagot. He must've felt uncomfortable kaya naman ay naupo nalang siya sa kanyang pwesto.

"So..." he started. "How are you doing?"

"I'm doing great." I said. "How about you?"

"Fine. Just kind of busy with work and stuff." He paused. He stared at me seriously. "Do you want to ask how he is?"

Bumuka ang bibig ko. Nangapa ako sa sasabihin dahil hindi ko naman inaasahan na sasabihin niya iyon. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin. I shifted uncomfortably on my seat.

"I think... this meet up is purely for business and..." lumunok ako at nag-isip nang pwedeng iduktong. "I'm sorry, Gio, can w-we talk about the project now?"

He smirked and nod his head. Sumandal siya sa kanyang upuan at tinitigan akong muli. Napaiwas ako ng tingin at pinaglaruan ang daliri sa ilalim ng lamesa.

His presence caught me off guard. And now... his questions are also trying to... simply... kill me.

Sa paraan ng paninitig niya sa akin ay para bang tinatansya niya ako. It's like he's trying to figure how to break the walls that I've built when I'm asked about Benjamin.

"Sure," he said. "But let's order some food first."

Bahagya siyang tumawa kaya naman ay nginitian ko nalang siya. He called the waiter to ask for a menu. Mamaya-maya pa ay nag-order na rin kami ng makakain.

We talked about what he wants for this project in between eating our food. Thank god he didn't insert Benjamin in our conversation anymore.

Gio is currently planning to build a hotel near their hospital. He thought that it would be convenient for the patient's family since their hospital has a strict policy about visiting hours. Iniisip niya na hindi na kailangan pang umuwi ng pamilya ng pasyente, lalo na kung malayo ang bahay nito, dahil may itatayong hotel malapit doon sa ospital.

I really like his idea. He's thinking about the people's situation and it was nice of him to think that. Donovans are really good in business.

Gio's prefences are simple. He only wants what's convenient for people and he isn't looking for a hotel that's ready to compete with others internationally. I guess this one's going to be easy.

"I'll try and start tonight. And if I finished it as soon as possible, I'm going to send the final sketches on your e-mail." I said then I smiled at him.

He nods his head. Tumitig siyang muli at mukhang may gustong itanong ngunit parang pinipigilan lang ang sarili.

"Do you ever have plans on coming back?" he finally asked.

"W-Why are you asking?"

"'Cause he's still hoping... that maybe... you'll come back to him. He's that hopeful for you."

I breathed hard. I turn my gaze away from him at tsaka sumandal sa aking upuan.

"Gio... I..." hindi ko maituloy. I focused my gaze on the wine glass in front of me while Gio continues to speak.

"If ever... you read those articles about him being seen with other girls... or those rumors that he's dating someone else now, don't believe them. Benjamin is still in love with you. And I don't think he'll ever stop."

"Does he know where I am?" hindi ko napigilang itanong.

"Obviously." Gio answered simply.

Why is that such an expected answer? Of course, he's Benjamin. He has an impeccable way of finding things out.

"But he's only stopping himself from running after you because he knows what you want and he respects you so much for that."

I clenched my jaw. I haven't talked to someone about him. This is the first time in two years. Dahil sa tuwing may magtatanong, binabalewala at ibinabaling ko sa iba ang usapan.

"He's asking how you are doing. What should I say?"

"Tell him that I'm..." inangat ko ang tingin sakanya. Lumunok ako bago magpatuloy. "Fine."

Gio's lips slowly turned into a smirk.

"Really?"

"Of course. Hindi naman ako magtatagal sa bansang 'to kung hindi ako maayos dito diba?"

Ngumuso siya at tumango. Umayos siya ng pagkakaupo at tsaka may kung anong kinuha sa loob ng kanyang coat. Later on, I saw him pulling out an envelope.

"An invitation for my wedding." Aniya.

Umangat ang kilay ko. I smirked.

"You're getting married! You managed to win her huh?" natawa siya dahil alam na niya kung sino ang tinutukoy ko.

"Of course." He answered confidently.
Kinuha ko iyong envelope sakanya at binasa ang nasa loob. I can't help but smirk again. It's the name of the girl he's been obsessing about. He's been rejected for so many times, and I can't believe he didn't stop.

Now he's getting married to her. What a charm, Gio Donovan.

"And this one," nawala ang tingin ko sa invitation dahil inangat kong muli ang tingin sakanya. I saw him reaching out a piece of paper to me. "Is his letter for you."

My mouth parted. Hindi ko pa magawang kuhanin sakanya ang sulat dahil hindi ako makapaniwala. When Gio pushed the letter towards me, doon lang ako natauhan na kailangan ko na palang kunin iyon.

"Read it when you're home."

Gio gave me a meaningful smile. "Please come to my wedding. I would love to see you there."

I smiled at him in return. "I'll think about it."

Pagkatapos noon ay agad na rin siyang nagpaalam. I went home still holding that piece of paper that Gio gave me. Nilapag ko iyon sa may dining table at wala akong ginawa kung hindi ang titigan iyon.

I keep on contemplating if I should read it or not? I don't know what to do and what to feel.

Kinolekta ko muna ang sarili ko bago ko napagdesisyonan na buksan at basahin na ang mensahe ni Benjamin para sa akin. It took me a while to digest that I'm seeing his handwriting again.

Dear Kelsey,

How are you? I hope you're doing great. It's been a while since I last saw you. And it's also been a while since I last heard from you.

I know you're doing this for yourself and I support you for that. If you think that's best then I'll be really happy for you. I also hope that you enjoy life wherever you go. You deserve so much happiness more than the world can offer.

I'm not writing this letter for you to know that it's been hard for me since the day you left. But I'm writing this letter for you to know how much I miss you.

A part of me wasn't complete. It wasn't even close to being complete since I couldn't share my life with you. I couldn't hear your voice. I couldn't see your smile. Won't laugh about things with you.

I miss those moments. I miss my wife.

I just want to run after you and be with you again. But I'm only stopping myself because I know you really want to do this. But know that, every time that I don't run after you, I almost do.

I know I've made a mistake. A big, big and terrible mistake. I hope you can forgive me for that. You may think that it's over between us... but for me, it isn't.

I couldn't bring myself to meet someone else again after you because I'm still madly in love with you. After all these years. You're the only woman I loved and I'll ever love.

And if ever you have plans on coming back... know that my door is always open for you. This is still your home, Kels. This is OUR home.

I miss you... I miss you so much. I hope to see you again soon.

I love you.

-Benj.

I didn't know that I was already crying while reading his letter. Agad kong pinalis ang mga luha ko at tsaka isinandal ang sarili sa upuan.

I closed my eyes and let myself cry. Kahit pagbaligtarin man ang mundo, iisa lang rin ang sinisigaw ng puso ko.

If there's one thing that this taught me and made me realize... that is... my love for him will always be here. It will never go away.

He's my destiny. I was destined for him. But sometimes destinies have to rest from each other in order for them to know what they still have to work with.

Natutunan ko na kahit gaano ka kalayo sa taong iyon, kung siya parin ang isinisigaw ng puso mo, siya parin. Hindi iyon magbabago.

I do miss him. Everyday. Kahit na pinipilit ko ang sarili na wag na siyang isipin, a part of me still wants to.

Kasi, kung madali lang para sa akin na kalimutan siya, nakahanap na ako ng iba ngayon. Hindi na ako mag-aaksaya pa ng panahon.

I spent that night rereading that letter until I found falling asleep. Pagkagising ko, hawak ko parin iyong letter na iyon.

His letter is the total opposite of the letter that I gave him. The letter that he gave me screams thaf there's still hope left for us.

While my letter for him screams that there's no hope and we're over.

Abala ako sa pag-iisip ng design para doon sa hotel ni Gio nang makatanggap naman ako ng tawag mula kay Brittany.

I was really surprised when I saw her name poped out of my screen. Hindi ko pa malaman kung anong gagawin noong una.

Paano kung kasama niya si Benjamin dyan ngayon? Am I ready to face him?
With trembling hands, I reached out to answer her call. Pagkasagot na pagkasagot ko palang ay malaking ngiti na agad ang iginawad niya sa akin sa camera.

She started waving at me. "Oh my god! Hi!"

I waved at her back. "Hi! How are you?"

"I should be the one asking you that! How are you?"

"I'm doing great." I smiled reassuringly at her.

"Obvious naman sa awra mo! You look great!"

"Oh, thank you! You, too!"

"Well... I called to tell you that Gio is getting married soon! Naaalala ko pa noong pinag-uusapan natin na mukhang imposible na makuha niya iyong babae tapos ngayon..."

"Yeah, I remember. And also, Gio already told me he's getting married. He invited me personally to his upcoming wedding."

I saw Brittany's eyes widened.

"What?! Nagkita kayo? Bakit hindi ko alam? And how come he knows where you are? E, ako nga itong naturingang sister-in-law mo hindi ko alam kung nasaan ka-" she stopped when she realized something.

"Oops... Hindi nga pala." she said slightly embarrassed of what just happened. "But anyways, I'm glad that he invited you! You should go!"

"I'll think about it, Britt."

Ngumuso siya at tumango. Mamaya maya pa ay sumilay na naman ang ngiti sa kanyang labi.

"And I still have one thing left to say..."

"Okay. What is it?"

Sandali siyang natahimik habang nakangiti parin sa camera. I raised my brow at her to ask her to spill the tea now.

Nagulat ako nang bigla siyang mapasigaw.

"I'm pregnant!" She squealed. My eyes widened.

"No way!" I said. Tumango siya para kumpirmahin na totoo iyong sinasabi niya. "Congratulations!"

"Thank you! Unexpected nga rin, e. No wonder why I've been craving for so many foods these past few days!"

"I'm so happy for you! I'm sure you'll be a great mother."

Ngumiti siya nang dahil doon sa sinabi ko. I'm really happy for her and Kiel. They're finally starting a family now.

Matagal nang gusto ni Tita Barbara at Tito Francisco ng apo kaya sigurado ako na masayang-masaya sila ngayon.

I wonder what was Benjamin's reaction when he found out about his sister's pregnancy?

"When will you come back, Kels? We missed you."

I sigh.

"I don't know." I whispered.

Bumagsak ang balikat ni Brittany. She smiled sadly at me.

"I hope you'll come back soon. I hope you can reconcile things with my brother," she smiled sadly. "Uhm... what I'm about to say is actually the truth and I'm not trying to make you pity him... but..."

Brittany paused for a while. It was such a long pause that it made my heart beat faster for the anticipation.

"He hasn't been himself ever since you left. He always stays at home and he rarely goes out. And you know that it's not him, when he doesn't go out with his friends!

"Bradley and Charles are both worried, too. Lagi nalang daw subsob sa trabaho at lagi nalang raw nirereject ang imbitasyon nila sa tuwing nag-aaya silang lumabas. A lot of things has changed in him. Sobrang naapektuhan siya sa pag-alis mo.

"I even think that he choose to stay at home is because that house reminds him so much of you."

Agad na kumirot ang puso ko nang dahil sa sinabi niyang iyon. Napaiwas ako ng tingin sa camera habang hinayaang magpatuloy si Brittant sa kanyang sinasabi.

"During family gatherings and dinner, he's always quiet. He isn't the life of the party that he used to. He's still talking to everyone, though. Pero hindi kagaya dati. He's capable of cracking jokes in between serious conversations and now he don't. This is not the Benjamin we used to know. And I want my old brother back."

A tear streamed down my face. Agad kong pinalis iyon bago pa mapansin ni Brittany ang pag-iyak ko.

"You're the only answer, Kelsey. You're the only one who can make him come back to his senses. You're the only one he needed."

My heart broke when I heard Brittany's voice break. It hurts to know that she's hurting because of her brother's behavior nowadays.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered.

Brittany scoffs to light up the situation. "You don't have to! We know you're only doing this for yourself. And we're gladly letting you do that. You can take time as much as you want. Benjamin will still be waiting for you."

Yumuko ako at hinayaan nang bumagsak ang aking mga luha. When our call ended, I thought about so many things.

Magiging masaya parin ba ako kapag bumalik ako sa Pilipinas?

Do I really have to do everything for myself or do I also have to consider others?

If I were to consider others... I would need to consider his feelings, my feelings, and especially I have to consider Benjamin himself.

I know there's a lot of people that keeps on saying how much Benjamin needed me. But the truth is... I needed Benjamin more.

Why does love always have to mess everything up? Is love trying to teach us a lesson?

Benjamin and I still has a beautifully unfinished story. This made me realize that no matter where we are, no matter how time flies, if he's the one for you, he's for you.

Inabala ko ang sarili sa pagtapos ng design para sa hotel ni Gio. I still haven't decided if I should really come back or not.

Gio's wedding is only a week from now. If I have to come back, I should be packing and booking for my flight now.

But look what I'm doing! Finishing my task instead of doing what I really have to do!

"Ugh!" I groaned out of frustration. Binagsak ko ang pencil sa lamesa at tsaka sinapo ang aking ulo.

I'm still clueless about what to do even if Gio's wedding is already nearing. Hindi ko talaga alam kung dapat ko ba talagang gawin 'yun o hindi.

Just as I was about to insert my laptop inside the bag again, I remember something. I still have the key to our house. Binuksan ko ang front pocket ng laptop bag ko at doon ko nakita ang susi ng bahay namin.

I stared at it for a while. I groaned out in frustration again after that.

This so freaking frustrating!

"Thank you." I said as the stewardess guided me towards my seat on the plane.

I sat next to the window. I'm riding first class today since this is going to be such a long flight. Tiyak na jetlag ang aabutin ko nito pagkalapag ng eroplano sa Pilipinas.

I stared at the window while waiting for the plane to take off. This is it. I'm finally doing it after contemplating for a lot of times!

It's insane how I easily decided that I should come back home when I remember that I still have a key to Benjamin and I's house. I never informed anyone about this. Mukhang magkakagulatan nalang kaming lahat kapag nakauwi na ako.

I spent the entire flight reading some magazines and trying to catch some sleep. We had a stop over in Dubai and I decided to roam around for a while since I still have a lot of time before my next flight.

I bought some things for myself and also for the people I left back home. Ni hindi ko na nga napapansin pa na naparami na pala ang nagasta ko dahil masyado kong ineenjoy ang pamimili.

Nang ilang oras nalang ang natitira para sa susunod kong flight ay nagtungo na ako pabalik ng airport. I have a total of five luggages. That includes the things I have in Amsterdam. Masyadong marami iyon dahil ilang taon rin akong nanatili doon at marami talaga akong naging gamit.

Gaya nang nangyari kanina sa flight ko mula Amsterdam hanggang Dubai, nagbasa at natulog lang ulit ako. It's been such a long flight and it's crazy!

Dalawang araw nalang bago ang kasal ni Gio. He messaged me two days ago about my presence to his wedding and asked if I'm going. I didn't tell him that I would, because I still haven't decided that time.

I hired for a personal driver when I landed in Manila. Thank god it was convenient for me since the tiredness is slowly kicking in. Ni hindi ko magawang pansinin ang lahat ng nagbago sa Pilipinas simula nung nawala ako dahil masyado akong napagod nang dahil sa byahe.

All I did was sleep! Why do I feel this tired?!

Nang tumigil ang sasakyan sa tapat ng bahay ay nakita ko agad ang kuryosong paglabas ng ibang kasambahay. Lahat sila ay naghihintay sa pagbukas ng pinto para malaman na kung sino ang nasa loob ng sasakyan na ito.

The driver took all my luggages out. Nang makita ng mga kasambahay ang maraming maleta ay sabay-sabay silang nagtiningnan sa isa't isa. Lumapit sila sa gate at sumilip. They asked the driver about the luggages.

I smirked. I grabbed my hand bag at tsaka lumabas na ng sasakyan. I smiled at the househelps when I made eye contact with them.

Everyone's jaw dropped. Mabilis nilang binuksan ang gate at tsaka ako sinalubong.

"Kelsey!" sabi nila at tsaka lumapit sa akin upang yumakap. I chuckled.

"Bakit hindi mo sinabi na uuwi ka ngayon?" tanong ni Elena, isa sa mga kasambahay.

"I wanted to surprise everyone. Kung alam niyong uuwi ako ngayon, hindi ganyan ang magiging reaksyon niyo."

Ngumuso sila.

"Naku! Siguradong matutuwa si Manang na makita ka ulit! O siya! Pumasok ka na at kami na ang bahala rito sa mga gamit mo."

I nod my head and smiled.

"Namiss ka namin!" anila.

"Namiss ko rin kayo!" sabi ko.

Pagkatapos noon ay pumasok na ako ng bahay. I immediately spot Manang in the kitchen. Nang lumingon siya upang tingnan kung sino ang pumasok ay bakas sa mukha niya ang pagkagulat.

Napabitaw pa siya sa kanyang hawak para lang makalapit agad sa akin. She immediately held my cheeks when she reached my place.

"Jusko po, hija! Hindi ka man lang nagsasabi na uuwi ka! Binibigla mo kami!" aniya sa nag-aalalang tono. I chuckled.

"Sorry, Manang. Biglaan lang po."

Manang can't stop on staring at me. Halatang hindi makapaniwala na nakikita niya ako ngayon. When she realized that everything that's right in front of her is real, she quickly surpresses a wide smile.

She hugged me again.

"Ang tagal mong nawala! Kumusta ka ba?"

I chuckled when I saw Manang's surprised reaction.

"Ayos lang po ako, Manang. Kayo po ba? Nasaan po si Manong Roly?"

"Naku! Ayun at naglilinis ng kotse! Sigurado akong mabibigla rin 'yun kapag nakita ka!"

Sinamahan ako ni Manang patungo sa garahe at doon ko nakita si Manong Roly na naglilinis kasama ang iba pang driver ng mga kotse. Kasalukuyan siyang may kausap ngayon. Napansin siguro noong kausap niya ang prisensya namin kaya siya napaturo sa gawi namin.

Manong Roly turns to us and his eyes widened.

"Kelsey!" salubong niya. Medyo nagmadali pa siya sa paglalakad para lang mayakap ako.

"Manong, dahan-dahan lang! Basa po ang sahig."

Natawa naman siya. Bakas sa mukha niya na hindi niya maitago ang excitement sa pagbabalik ko. And on that night, we had so much fun while eating our dinner. We had a lot of things to catch up at ibinalita rin nila ang mga nangyari noong panahon na wala ako.

Nang sumunod na araw ay binisita ko ang puntod nila Mommy at Daddy. I run my fingers through their tomb and smiled. It's also been two years since they passed away. I remember crying so hard inside my room in Amsterdam when I remember that it was their first year death anniversary.

But I immediately cooled down after a while. I mean it's normal to break down especially when you miss both of your parents so much.

Pagkatapos noon ay nagpunta ako sa isang boutique upang bumili ng maisusuot sa kasal ni Gio bukas. I haven't told him that I'm coming. Pero sa tingin ko hindi rin naman ako magtatagal doon. I just want to watch his wedding ceremony.

I wanna see how he made that girl fall for him.

Come wedding day, nagpahatid ako kay Manong Roly patungo sa simbahan kung saan gaganapin ang kasal ni Gio. I feel a little jetlagged today. Kahapon pa masama ang pakiramdam ko at binabalewala ko lang iyon dahil alam kong normal lang ito sa tuwing nagtatravel ka ng mahabang oras.

I know I'm running late for the wedding but it doesn't matter. At least I won't get noticed by the guests since their attention is focused on the wedding. They're now telling their vows to one another when I entered the church. They surprisingly invited a lot of guests. I sat on the last pew.

I roamed my eyes around and saw that the Donovan family is complete. I saw Margaux holding a baby. My eyes widened a little.

Oh my god! She gave birth?!

Katabi niya si Felicity at Dominic. Felicity is silently playing with Margaux's baby's finger. Habang si Dominic naman ay nakangiti lang habang pinakikinggan ang kapatid na sabihin ang kanyang mga pangako sa babaeng pinapakasalan niya ngayon.

And then, my eyes went to the other side of the church. I saw Aiden and Ana... then Brittany... and Benjamin.

He's sitting quietly beside his sister while there's a ghost smile on his lips while he listens to Gio's vow. I pressed my lips into a thin line. It was good to finally see him again even though my place is a little too far from him.

The stubble on his face are much noticeable now and that makes him look more manly. He shifted from his seat at tsaka inilibot ang tingin sa buong simbahan, probably to see how many guests does Gio have. Agad akong yumuko nang nagawi ang tingin niya sa pwesto ko.

The man in front of me is bigger than me so I hope he's enough to hide me from Benjamin. I didn't want him to see me yet. Gusto kong magkita kami ng kaming dalawa lang.

When the ceremony ended, ngiting ngiti si Gio. He can't even stop on kissing his wife. He looks really in love with her and the same goes to the girl.

Nakangiti parin si Gio nang humarap sila sa mga bisita. We all clapped our hands for the newly wed couple. His eyes widened a little when he saw me. Napatingin siya kay Benjamin na pumapalakpak rin ngayon.

He was about to point at me when I stop him. I raised my hand to stop him from pointing at me because I didn't want anyone to notice me yet. I gave him a meaningful smile. Sa tingin ko nakuha niya naman iyon.

"Congratulations!" I mouthed. He smiled at mouthed a thank you.

Pagkatapos noon ay umuwi ako upang mag-gayak ng gamit. Manang is confused when she saw me packing again. Akala niya ay aalis na naman ako pero nang ipinaliwanag ko sakanya kung saan ako pupunta ay nagpakawala siya ng isang malalim na hininga.

"Mabuti naman kung ganoon. Masaya ako na sinusubukan niyo ulit na ayusin ang relasyon niyo!"

"Uhm... hindi pa po niya alam na nakabalik na ako."

"Ha? E, di ba nagpunta ka sa kasal ng pinsan niya?" tumango ako.

"Hindi po ako nagpakita. Gusto ko pong magkita kami nang kaming dalawa lang. I want to talk to him personally."

Napangiti muli si Manang nang dahil sa sinabi ko. "Mabuti kung ganoon. Tiyak na magiging masaya na ulit iyong si Benjamin. Madalas iyon dito dati para mangamusta."

Umangat ang kilay ko nang dahil sa pagkagulat. My mouth parted a little until my lips curved into a smile. It's amazing that he still finds time to visit them even though I am not here.

"Halatang miss na miss ka na nga nun, e. Madalas iyon sa kwarto mo tuwing bibisita dito."

"Ganoon po ba?" I asked. I scoff. "Hindi na niya po ako mamimiss ngayon, Manang. Kasi uuwi na ako sakanya... ulit."

Napanguso si Manang at tsaka ako niyakap.

"Sana magkaayos kayo ulit."

"Sana nga po..." I whispered.

Walang tao sa bahay nang dumating ako doon. Tinulungan ako ng ibang kasambahay para iakyat ang mga gamit ko. Nang matapos sila ay agad silang nagpaalam sa akin.

Something has changed inside the inside the house except for one thing. Our picture is still hanging on the wall. Hindi niya iyon inalis kahit na marami siyang idinagdag na painting.
Most of the paintings on the walls are mine. I smiled to myself. I also checked the room where my art materials are placed. Wala namang nagbago at maayos parin ang kwarto.

I took time to fix my things first before I drift off to have a nice and good sleep. I wasn't able to sleep properly last night because jetlag was really bad that night. Buti nalang at medyo umayos ang pakiramdam ko kanina.

I slept in my room that night. I plan on surprising Benjamin with a breakfast tomorrow and I didn't want him to know that I'm here now. I just hope that he's staying here tonight and not on his parents' house. Kasi kung ganoon ang mangyayari, masisira ang plano ko.

I woke up at seven the morning. I wanted to wake up early so I can prepare breakfast for the two of us. I tried to be as quiet as possible. Ngunit nagulat nalang ako nang makarinig nang may nagluluto na sa baba.

I stop in my tracks nang nasa huling baitang na ako ng hagdan. I peeked inside the kitchen and saw Benjamin. He's shirtless and he's now preparing breakfast!

Damn it! Nasira ang plano ko!

But... why is he up early though? He usually wakes up at nine, I guess? Does he know that I'm here now? But that's impossible! I didn't show any signs that I'm already here.

Bumaba na ako ng tuluyan sa hagdan. His bare back is facing me. Nakapameywang siya habang nagluluto. Nilingon ko ang lamesa at nakitang may nakahanda nang dalawang plato doon. There's also a coffee served on each plate.

Oh, shit. He knows that I'm here now.

Guess what? I was supposed to surprise him but instead... he's the one who surprised me. Nice, Kelsey.

I cleared my throat. Narinig niya naman iyon kaya mabilis siyang napabaling ng tingin sa akin. Pinisil ko ang aking mga daliri nang dahil sa kaba.

"Uh... hi." I greeted.

Medyo nagulat siya at agad na hinagilap ang kanyang tshirt sa may counter. Mabilis siyang nagbihis upang takpan ang hubad na katawan. He looks at me again. This time, with a small smile curved into his lips.

He looks amazing.

"Hi," he greeted back. Napangiti ako. "Good morning."