Song: Put You Back Together- Gavin James 

Sleep

The next days were more vibrant now. I was able to make myself come out of my room often. I used my free time to finish the portrait of my parents. Tuwing nakakauwi naman si Benjamin ng maaga ay tinutulungan niya ako.

I thought him how to paint and it's surprising how fast he learns. Parang kailan lang noong tinuturuan ko siya kung paano ba ang tamang paggamit ng brush. Tapos ngayon hindi ko na siya kailangang turuan pa dahil alam na niya kung paano.

I was walking around the living room while holding a mug of hot chocolate when I saw a notebook lying on the center table. Kumunot ang noo ko.

Ipinatong ko ang tasa sa lamesa at kinuha iyong notebook. To whom is this? I don't remember owning this kind of notebook.

Binuksan ko iyon at binasa ang mga nakasulat. What surprised me is that they're full of cooking recipes. The handwritings were obviously written by a woman. Does my mom used to own a notebook like this?

Nagpatuloy ako sa pagbabasa hanggang sa may nakita akong note na nakadikit sa isang pahina.

Benj,

Here's everything that you need. Make sure that you'll cook everything deliciously. Ayaw kong mapahiya sa asawa mo.

Remember what I told you: wag mong papatayin ang apoy hangga't hindi pa malambot ang karne.

Si Kelsey lang pala ang kailangan para magkainterest ka sa pagluluto.

Anyways, take care always.

I love you.

-Mom

Napangiti ako nang mabasa ko iyon. There are a lot of recipes inside the notebook and I can't believe he even asked for Tita Barbara's help just so he can have something served for the two of us.

Naglipat pa ako ng pahina hanggang sa nag-iba na ang sulat. This time it was Benj's. I bit my lip when I saw that he wrote everything I love and hate in food.

What Kelsey likes:

1. Sweet dishes

2. A lot of cheese on her pasta sauce

3. Vegetables (esp. potatoes, carrots, spinach, etc.)

4. Absolutely a big fan of Filipino dishes

5. A little salty but not too much

Marami pa ang nakasulat doon. He really noticed everything huh? He's such a keeper!

Sunod ko namang binasa ang mga bagay na sa tingin niya ay ayaw ko.

What Kelsey hates:

1. Too much pepper on food

2. Spicy foods (sometimes)

3. She HATES bitter gourd so don't serve her that

4. She doesn't like her eggs scrambled (she prefer sunny side up more)

5. Too much onions (I hate that, too)

Mabilis kong itinago ang notebook sa likod ng unan nang marinig kong bumababa si Benjamin sa hagdan. I grab my hot chocolate again. Nilingon ko siya at nakitang handa na siyang pumasok sa opisina.

He smiled a little at me.

"Kanina ka pa gising?" tanong niya. I nod my head. "Kumain ka na?"

Tumango akong muli.

"I see," he nods his head, too. "I-I'm in a rush so I couldn't serve breakfast today, I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I already ate cereal."

"Oh. But in case you need something, just call me. May nakabalot na ring pagkain dyan para sa tanghalian mo."

I smiled at him. "Okay..."

Inayos niya ang kanyang coat at tsaka lumapit sa akin. He kissed the top of my head before he said goodbye.

"Saglit lang ako."

I nod my head.

Habang wala naman siya ay inabala ko ang sarili sa pagtapos ng portrait ng mga magulang ko.

I've been working hard on this for a while now and I'm really happy to see the progress. I'm happy that it turns out beautifully.

I smiled to myself as I look at my finished painting.

This is for you, Mommy and Daddy. This will make me remember you. This picture will make your memories alive. You will never be forgotten.

Once I'm okay and healed, I'll visit our house agiain. I'll look how things are going. I'll continue the promise that I made to you. Titingnan ko kung ayos lang rin ba sila Manang simula nang mawala kayo.

But for now, I'll heal myself. I'll wait for the time to come until I can finally move again.

Aayusin ko muna ang sarili ko bago ko ayusin ang mga bagay na naiwan niyo.

Pinatuyo ko ang painting at hinayaan ang sarili na maglibang muna ng saglit sa living room. I turned on the TV to look for a show that will keep me entertained.

I ended up watching Ellen. Even though she was already cracking a joke with her guest, that wasn't able to make me laugh.

I need a good laugh that will make me forget about all the darkness that I'm feeling inside. That's what I need.

Nagawi ang tingin ko sa pinto nang marinig ko itong bumukas. Benjamin peeked inside to see what I was doing.
When he saw me watching the TV, he smiled.

"Hey," he greeted. Tuluyan siyang pumasok ng bahay. Bumaba naman ang tingin ko sa isang paper bag na dala niya.

"What's that?" I asked. Tiningnan niya rin ang dala at tsaka naupo sa tabi ko.

Nilapag niya ang paper bag sa center table. Isa-isa niya namang nilabas ang mga laman noon.

"Movies," aniya sabay ipinakita sa akin ang dalawang DVD na binili niya. "And..."

He inserted his hand back inside the paper bag to get the last item. He smiled again at me.

"Ice cream!" Iniharap niya sa akin ang biniling isang litro na ice cream.

A smile curved into my lips. My forehead creased.

"Anong meron?" Nagugulohan kong tinanong.

"Well, I wanted to watch this movie for quite some time now. I wanted to watch it with you."

I bit my lip to hide my smile. I don't know what to feel for all his efforts. He's trying so hard and I appreciate that. So, so much.

Damn. I love this man so much.

"Are you up with it?" He asked. Tumango naman ako. "Good. I'll just get us a cup for this ice cream and I'll come back. Mind if you put this on DVD on?"

Kinuha ko sakanya ang DVD. "Not at all."

Ngumiti muna siya muli sa akin bago nagtungo sa kusina upang kumuha ng kutsara at lalagyanan ng ice cream.

I look at the DVD he bought. Daddy's Home. I haven't watched this movie and I don't know its genre.

Is this a drama? Is he trying to make me sad?

Kumunot ang noo ko at sa huli ay isinalang nalang ang DVD. I returned to my sit again.

Benjamin came back with a cup and a spoon. Naupo siyang muli sa tabi ko. Siya na ang naglagay ng ice cream para sa aming dalawa.

"Is pistachio your favorite, too?" I asked while he's scooping some ice cream.

"Nope." He answered. I raised my brows in surprise.

"Then why did you-"

"Because it's your favorite." he answered simply.

"How did you know?"

"Barcelona."

My mouth parted. Natandaan niya pa 'yun? It's been a long time!

"You still remember that?" Hindi ko naiwasang mamangha nang dahil sa sinabi niya. Ni hindi ko na nga matandaan kung ano ang inorder ko nun, e.

"Of course. You always ask for a pistachio flavor whenever we get gelato."

Unti-unti akong napangiti ng dahil sa sinabi niya. I leaned in to him when he finished scooping some ice cream. He placed the cup between us.

"Inalala mo pa 'yun ah?" I teased. I heard him chuckled.

"How can I not?"

Umiling nalang ako ng hindi na pinansin pa ang sinabi niya. The movie started immediately.

Noong una nagugulohan pa ako kung ano ba itong piniling movie ni Benjamin. Ngunit nang makita ko si Will Ferell, I immediately knew it was a comedy movie.

"I didn't know you like comedies." I said. Naramdaman kong napalingon siya sa akin.

"Not until now. I just wanted to make someone happy."

Inangat ko ang tingin sakanya at nginisian. Oh, what did I even do to deserve you?

Pabiro ko siyang inirapan. I focused on watching the movie and eating ice cream at the same time. Sa sobrang pagtutok sa panonood, hindi ko na napapansin na natatawa na pala ako ng sobra.

There was a scene where I laughed so hard that I almost cried. I wiped away the tears that came out from laughing too much. I can also feel Benjamin laughing, too.

Akala ko nga matutulog lang 'yon sa buong movie, e. But I was wrong. He was laughing along with me whenever we find a certain scene hilarious.

Nang matapos ang movie ay hindi parin ako natitigil sa kakatawa. Lumayo ako bahagya kay Benjamin at isinandal ang sarili sa sofa. I tried to catch my breath.

I laughed and laughed until I found myself crying. Weird diba?

I couldn't help but cry because I felt so much happiness today and the feeling was suddenly new to me. It suddenly felt unreal that I was already laughing for real because I already forgot how to do that.

Benjamin looks alarmed. He tried to move closer. But I'm sure he knows that I would want him to keep little distance between us while I try and compose myself. So that's what he did.
"What's wrong?" He asked.

I wiped away my tears as I try to bring my composure back. I shut my eyes and pressed my lips into a thin line.

"It's been a while since I felt like this. I almost forgot how to laugh after everything that happened," I paused. Suminghap ako at binalingan siya ng tingin. I smiled a little at him. "Thank you... this is what I needed after being so empty and lost. I don't know what I'll do without you..."

"Shh..." he moved closer to stop me from crying. He grabs both of my cheeks. "Baby, you don't have to thank me. It's my job to do everything for you."

I nod my head. I moved closer so I can envelope him in a hug. I closed my eyes to feel his warmth and sincerity.

"I miss them..." I whispered.

A new tear streamed down my face. Nang maramdaman ni Benjamin na umiiyak akong muli ay mayapos niyang hinagod ang aking likod.

"I still can't believe that they're gone. I didn't even get to say goodbye."

"You're going to be okay, Kels... you're going to be okay..."

I nod my head again and tighten my hug more.

"They died right in front of me," suminghap ako. "And I can't do anything but watch... and cry... and beg. I felt so weak, Benj. It's like a part of me was taken away from me."

Nagpakawala si Benjamin ng malalim na hininga bago niya inalis ang pagkakayakap sa akin. He made me look into his eyes while he's wiping away my tears.

"You may have lost them suddenly and unexpectedly... and I understand the pain that you've been going through. And I just want to say that I am so, so proud of you..." he smiled a little. "You're the strongest woman I know. You've been so brave. You're broken but you're still beautiful. And it's okay to be hurting as much as you are.

"That feeling is only temporary, okay? You will get better. I'm here to make you feel better. I will never leave you. I will help you and we'll take it slow. You can take your time to heal. We'll try and look for your missing pieces until you're finally complete again. Nandito lang ako, Kelsey, at hinding-hindi kita pababayaan."

Benjamin was really a man of his words. He was always there to check on me. Minsan maagang umuuwi para lang masamahan ako. Wala atang araw na hindi niya ako tinatanong kung ayos lang ba ako. Of course, I'll answer him with yes. Seeing him here with me makes me feel better. His presence is enough for me to say that I'm okay.

When I slowly felt much better than the last time, I asked him to join me to visit my relatives. He was kind enough to leave work just to join me. He didn't have to think twice because he already decided before I even asked him.

Nagpunta kami sa bahay ni Lolo. Surprisingly, Tita Yvonne was also there with her family. Agad siyang nagtungo sa akin nang makita niya ang pagdating namin. She hugged me so tight.

I know she was hurting, too. But I'm glad that she also looks much better now. Sigurado ako na ganito rin naman ang gustong makita ni Mommy.

"Oh, hija... it's been a while. How are you?"

"I'm fine, Tita," nilingon ko si Benjamin at nakita kausap niya ang asawa ni Tita Yvonne ngayon. "My husband is always there to help me get better."

"I'm really glad that you have someone to help you. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you knowing that you're they're only child."

"It was really tough, Tita. Mahirap tanggapin na... hindi na talaga sila babalik. Na kapag umuwi ako sa amin, hindi na sila ang sasalubong sa akin. I'll be welcomed with their memories instead." A tear lingered from my eye. Tita Yvonne wiped it away for me. Tipid siyang ngumiti sa akin.

"How about you, Tita? How are you?"

"Just like you, Kels. I'm also fine. Malungkot lang dahil... nawalan ako ng mas nakakatandang kapatid. She was the closest to me, and I just can't imagine that her life must end that way. I thought they'll both stay much longer in this world."

Tipid ko rin siyang nginitian. Marami pa kaming pinagusapan matapos iyon hanggang sa tuluyan nang lumabas si Lolo. Nakangiti na agad siya sa akin habang naglalakad ako patungo sakanya. His smile is almost offering me comfort.

"Oh, apo... I missed you."

Hindi ko naiwasang maiyak nang yumakap ako sakanya. I can't imagine how hard it must be for him to lose a child. Hindi ko siya nakitaan ng kahinaan habang hinahatid namin si Mommy at Daddy sa kanilang huling hantungan. He must be keeping all the pain that he's feeling from my Mommy's lost inside.

"Looking at you only makes me remember how beautiful your mother is." He said, his voice slightly broke.

I rub his back and hugged him tighter. Sunod ko namang sinalubong si Lola na mangiyak-ngiyak parin hanggang ngayon. She almost broke down in tears while watching my mother inside her coffin.

They told me that they're on the process of healing. I'm glad that we're all on the same page. I bet we all realized that my parents would love to see us happy again rather than to see us still grieving for them.

Ang ibang kamaganak ko naman sa side ni Daddy ay halos bumalik na ng ibang bansa pagkatapos ng libing. They always check on me every now and then.

After we visited my Lolo, we went to my parents' grave. Binaba ko ang bulaklak na dala at tsaka pinasadahan ng daliri ang kani-kanilang lapida. I stared at it and smiled.

"Thank you... Thank you for loving me endlessly. Thank you for everything that you've done for me. I don't know how else will I show you how grateful I am for having you as my parents." I thought to myself. "It was hard accepting that you're gone... but I have to, right? I still have to keep going. I still have to live my life for you. I miss you so much... I miss your calls... your texts... you visiting me often. I miss that.

"If I only knew you're going to be taken away from me so suddenly, I should've showed you everything. I should've made the most out of the remaining time we have together. I love you so much, Mom and Dad. I hope you'll help me get better."

Pinalis ko ang luhang lumandas sa aking mga mata at tsaka tumayo na at tumabi kay Benjamin. He pulled me closer to him. I rest my head against his shoulder as we both stare at my parents' grave.

"Let's go?" he asked. Tumango ako. He kissed the top of my head before we head to his car.

Sunod naming pinuntahan ang bahay ng magulang ko. Everybody immediately went to me with tears in their eyes when I entered the house. Manang almost broke down in tears after seeing me again after such a long time.

Hindi pa ako naipapanganak, kasama na ni Daddy si Manang. Daddy treated Manang as his own mother. Kahit nung kakakilala palang ni Daddy kay Mommy, parte na si Manang ng buhay niya.

I rushed to her before her tears even came out. Now that I almost reached the point of healing, I guess it's my turn to heal others. My parents left a lot of people. Marami ang nalungkot sa biglaan nilang pagkawala.

Kahit ang mga kasama sa bahay ay sobrang nalungkot sa nangyari. My parents never failed to show kindness to people, even to our househelps. Lahat ng nakakahalubilo nila lagi nilang pinapakitaan ng kabaitan. Sa katunayan, sila ang nagturo sa akin na hindi masamang magpakita ng kabaitan kahit na sa taong may ayaw sa atin.

"Anak, dinala nga pala dito ng mga pulis 'yung mga gamit na natagpuan nila sa kotse ng Mommy at Daddy mo. Nasa taas na sila kung gusto mong makita. Hindi ko pinapagalaw dahil gusto ko ikaw ang unang magbukas."

Bumuka ang bibig ko. Manang smiled because of the surprised look on my face.

"Marami nga silang dala, e. Mukhang marami ang napamili."

Parang may tumusok sa puso ko nang dahil doon. I remember them asking me what I wanted for a pasalubong. Masyado siguro nilang inenjoy ang trip nila sa Europe para maparami ang pamimili nila noh?

I'm glad that they were able to spend time together before they died. Masaya ako na natupad nila ang pangarap nilang mag-asawa. Just by the thought that they get to enjoy their life together before it ended already made me happy.

Tumango ako. Benjamin immediately went to me when I turn to him.

"Want me to join you?" he asked.

Tumango naman ako. He snaked his arms around my waist to guide me towards the stairs. I think this is his first time going around our house.

Hindi naman kasi siya madalas makapunta rito, e. He's only been here once. 'Yun ata 'yung oras na sinabi sa amin nila Mommy ang plano nila para sa amin ni Benjamin.

I opened the door to their room. Their baggages are silently placed near their bed. Totoo nga ang sinabi ni Manang. Marami nga silang nabili.

Benjamin helped me open their bags. The first bag was full of their clothes. Ang sunod namang bag ay doon na nakalagay ang mga pasalubong nila. Nilabas ko sa bag ang lahat ng pinamili nila. Some of the items even has a sticky note in it. Nakalagay doon ang pangalan ng pagbibigyan nila doon.

There are pasalubongs for our househelps and Manang. Meron rin kay Manong Roly at sa ibang driver. Nang makita ko ang para sa amin ni Benjamin ay agad na kumunot ang noo ko.

I grab the box with the name Burlingham. I guess this is from UK?

"What's that?" Benjamin asked.

"This is for us."

Umangat ang gilid ng kanyang labi nang dahil sa sinabi ko. He sat beside me so we can open our parents' gift to us together.

"Well, they gave us a watch." I said. Inabot ko kay Benjamin ang kanya.

Tiningnan ko muli ang paper bag na pinaglagyan ng relo na ibinili nila para sa amin. I saw an envelope attached to it. Kinuha ko iyon at tiningnan ang nakasulat doon.

To our only daughter and son-in-law,

We know you probably have a collection of watches, especially you Benjamin. But we just wanted to give you, guys, something that will make you remember us. We may not be the most perfect parents, but know that we will always wish what's best for the both of you.

Marrying each other may not be your choice but we hope that something good will bear from this decision. Looking at you makes us realize that love moves in mysterious ways. You're a match made in heaven. Everyone knows that. Who are they even kidding?

If problems decided to enter your marriage, remember that there's always a solution. Talk about it and know that you're stronger than those problems.

Well, anyway, we love you both so much! We wish you both a happy life together!

Love,

Your coolest parents, Daddy Bernard and Mommy Clementine ❤️

Surprisingly there were no tears that came out of my eyes after I read that letter. My heart felt so happy while reading their message. They left us knowing that they're happy together―happy for everyone around them and very happy for us.

Benjamin and I both decided to open our own boxes. Natawa naman ako nang makita na parehas na estilo ng relo ang ibinili nila para sa amin.

They gave us a couple watch!

Humagikhik rin si Benjamin nang dahil doon. Inalis niya ang kanyang relo at tsaka sinuot na ang relo na ibinigay sakanya ng magulang ko. Kunot noo ko siyang pinapanood habang ginagawa niya iyon.

"This is my favorite watch from now on." He said. Nilingon niya ako at tsaka tinanguan ang hawak kong kahon. "Wear yours, too."

Ngumiti ako at tumango. He helped me wear mine.

"Maybe this will make us spend more time with each other." aniya.

Bumaba ang tingin niya sa kamay ko. He brushed his fingers on our wedding and engagement ring. Wala sa sarili siyang napangiti habang tinitingnan iyon.

"You're the only woman I loved this much, Kels. I just wanted to let you know that."

My mouth immediately parted because of his confession. Agad rin na kumalabog ang dibdib ko nang dahil doon. This is the first time he's been vocally honest about his feelings towards me.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit nabigla parin ako sa sinabi niya gayong ipinararamdam na naman niya sa akin na mahal niya ako.

Siguro hindi ko lang talaga inaasahan na sasabihin niya ito sa akin ngayon. Inangat niya ang tingin sa akin at tsaka ako nginitian.

"Let's give this to them now, shall we?" tumayo siya at kinuha na ang ibang pasalubong nila Mommy para sa mga kasambahay.

Wala sa sarili akong napangiti habang pinapanood siya. Lumuhod ako sa tabi niya at pinaharap siya sa akin. He opened his mouth to say something pero naunahan ko siya nang inilapat ko ang labi ko sakanya. Nagulat siya sa ginawa ko.

When we parted from the kiss, ngumiti ako sakanya. There's a ghost smile on his lips at mukhang gusto pang humirit ng isa. I blushed.

"Thank you for staying with me. Thank you for not giving up on me even though it's been really hard for the past few months. You don't know how grateful I am to have you in my life."

Hinawakan ni Benjamin ang pisngi ko at tsaka tipid na ngumiti. "No matter how hard things get, I will never leave you, Kels. From now on, I'll be the one to take care of you. I'll always make sure you're okay. I'll make sure you'll get anything that you want. I'll make-"

"You don't have to do that," I cut him off. "Having you here with me is already enough. You don't have to give me everything that I want because I already have my everything."

That made his smile grew bigger. He pressed a kiss on my temple at tsaka na namin ipinamigay ang mga pasalubong ng magulang ko para sa mga kasambahay.

Nang sumunod na linggo ay bumalik na ako sa trabaho. Everyone was glad to see me back. Some even send their condolences. Medyo naiiyak pa nga sila Jona nang makita akong bumalik sa trabaho, e.

"O, walang dagdag sweldo 'yang luha mo ah?" biro ko sakanya. Tumawa naman siya at tsaka nag-tungo sa akin.

She pulled me in for a hug. "I'm so glad to see you back, Kelsey. Masaya ako na maayos ka na."

Nginitian kong muli siya. My team gave me a bouquet of flowers as a sign that they're glad to see me back. Inamoy ko iyon at pinasalamatan sila. Benjamin possessively snaked his arm around my waist around he watches us.

Nang matapos ang munting komosyon ay pumasok na ako ng opisina ko kasama si Benjamin. I placed my bag and the bouquet of flowers on top of my table. Benjamin inserted both of his hands inside his pocket.

"So, are you sure it's really okay with you to go back to work now?" He asked. I smiled reassuringly at him.

"Of course. I'll die of boredom inside the house. It's only right to go back to work now. I have to finish what I already started."

He nods his head. Humakbang naman siya palapit sa akin at tsaka ako hinigit palapit sakanya gamit ang aking baywang. He caged me inside his arms.

"I'll miss you." he said.

"But my office is only a few steps away from yours."

"But still... I'll miss you."

I jokingly rolled my eyes at him. Tama talaga ang sinabi ng kapatid mo. Clingy ka nga talaga.

He pouted his lips at me like a child. He pulled me closer to him.

"Can I come and visit here often?"

"You have your own office, Benjamin. And no, you can't. Oras ng trabaho. Wag mo akong landiin."

Tumawa siya ng malakas nang dahil sa sinabi ko. Hinalikan niya muna ako bago siya lumabas ng aking opisina. Buti naman at bumigay ang isang 'yon sa gusto kong mangyari. Hindi ata ako makakagawa ng trabaho kung nandito siya.

Tito Francisco replaced my father's position in the company. They wanted to give the position to me but I insisted. I'm fine with my current position.

Kinagabihan naman ay inaya ako ng pamilya ni Benjamin para sa isang dinner. Kasama dito si Brittany. Kiel isn't here anymore because he's already back in Afghanistan.

Tita Barbara immediately smiled and welcomed us once they saw us entering the restaurant together. Ngumisi naman si Brittany nang makita ang magkahawak naming kamay.

"Uy! Mukhang nagkadevelopan na ah?" pang-aasar niya.

"Shut up, Brittany!" ani Benjamin. Siniko ko naman siya. Sinamaan niya ako ng tingin nang dahil sa ginawa ko.
He pulled the chair out for me at tsaka ako naupo doon. Nakipagbeso ako kay Britt at Tita Barbara.

"How are you, hija? We heard you already came back to work." Si Tita Barbara.

"Yes po. Medyo matagal na rin po kasi bago ako nakabalik kaya may mga trabaho na aantala. And... I'm doing great. Still trying to heal but... great."

Napangiti si Tita Barbara nang dahil sa sinabi ko. Tito Francisco cleared his throat.

"Mabuti naman at marunong nang mag-alaga itong anak namin. Nagugulat na nga lang ako kung bakit araw-araw nasa bahay namin 'yan. Pero 'yun pala nagpapaturo nang magluto kay Barbara."

Natawa si Brittany nang dahil sa narinig. "Is that real, Dad? Oh my god! I can't imagine Benjamin doing that! Nakakatawa!"

Benjamin glared at his sister because of her remark.

"Iba pala talaga ang nagagawa ng pag-ibig." Pang-aasar ng kanyang kapatid.

"Yeah, I bet. It makes you volunteer to go to Afghanistan after recovering from your PTSD just to go back to the guy you've been obsessing about." pagbawi niya. "Love really makes us do some crazy things, Britt."

Natawa ang magulang nila nang dahil sa pagbawi na ginawa ni Benjamin. While Brittany glared at his brother. She sticked out her tongue to him.

"Argh! Shut up!"

Nagpatuloy pa ang kanilang pag-aasaran hanggang sa dumating na ang pagkain na inorder nila. We happily ate the food while we share good conversations and laughter.

We were in the middle of finishing our food when I received a call from the charity that I've been working with since I was a teenager. My forehead creased.

Hindi naman sila masyadong tumatawag sa akin ah? I wonder what makes them call.

I excused myself to answer the call.

"Hello?"

"Good evening, Mrs. Donovan. This is Wanda from the Helping Hands foundation. Sorry for disturbing you but can I take some of your time?"

"Okay? Go ahead."

"Uhm... I just want to let you know that our foundation will have its annual conference in Vancouver, Canada this March 21. Branches of this foundation from other countries will be there, too."

"And? Can I do anything to help?"

"Yes, ma'am. Isa ka po kasi sa napiling speaker para sa conference. Sinabi kasi sa akin ni Sister Tessa na matagal ka na raw pong tumutulong dito sa foundation," nagulat naman ako sa balitang pinarating niya. "We just wanted to appreciate your goodness at naisip namin na hindi na masamang ikaw ang piliin naming ipadala sa Canada. Sister Tessa wanted you to speak on our behalf. Kung... okay lang po sa'yo 'yun?"

Every year, few kids from the foundation are given a chance to attend the conferences held in other countries. Halos kada taon rin ginaganap ang conference na ito at ni minsan ay hindi pa ako nakakapunta. Masyado kasi akong abala sa trabaho at wala na gaanong oras.

On the other side of that, the conference will also serve as a fundraising event kaya sigurado ako na marami talaga ang pupunta!

"Uhm..."

"Please, Mrs. Donovan. Pati ang mga bata ikaw rin po ang napili. Magiging masaya raw po sila kung ikaw ang makikita nila doon."

Shit. The pressure! I am not a good speaker in front of a lot of people! Baka mautal ako! O di kaya... mawala sa isip ko ang dapat kong sabihin!

"Tungkol saan ba ang conference?"

"Just something that imvolves about life."

"Uh... susubukan ko, Wanda. But don't expect too much ha? I'm really not the best speaker in front of a lot of people. I'm only doing this for the foundation and also for the kids. But rest assured that I'll try and do my best."

"Hala, ma'am! Maraming Salamat po! May ginintuang puso po talaga kayo! Thank you talaga ng sobra!"

Bahagya akong tumawa at tsaka binaba na ang tawag.

I still have a few weeks to prepare for that talk but it's already been stressing me out. The foundation booked a ticket for two pero hindi ako sigurado kung maisasama ko ba si Benjamin. He's a busy person, baka hindi niya maisingit ito sa schedule niya kung sakali.

Sinabi ko lang sakanya na naimbita akong pumunta ng Canada para doon sa conference. Pero hindi ko nasabi sakanya na isa ako sa mga napiling speakers.

May iilang slides na rin akong nagawa. Ang tagal ko nitong pinag-isipan pero sa tingin ko hindi parin sapat. Sinabunutan ko ang sarili. Baka sakaling mapiga ang utak ko at maglabas ng mga ideya.

Sinabayan pa nito ang trabaho ko. Hindi ko na tuloy alam kung ano ang uunahin.

"Uhm... I'm having a conference in Canada in a few weeks. I think I might leave a week before the event." I informed Benjamin while we were eating dinner.

"What's with the rush? Why are you leaving so early?" he asks.

I bit my lip and continued eating. May mga meetings rin kasi na kailangan attendan doon at may papractice pa daw! Kaya siguro kailangan ko talagang umalis ng mas maaga. And just by the thought of the conference getting nearer and nearer is making my nerves wrack!

"I have a few meetings to attend to. I'm... needed there."

Hindi ko parin talaga nasasabi sakanya na isa ako sa napiling speakers. Ewan ko ba. Feeling ko kasi sasama talaga 'to kapag nalaman niya, e.

At kapag sumama siya, baka maging dahilan pa siya ng pagkakautal ko! Ayoko ngang mapahiya sa harap ng maraming tao!

"Oh! Is that the case? Can I join?"

Muntikan naman akong mabilaukan nang dahil sa sinabi niya. He'll what?!

Benjamin reached out a glass of water for me. Nahihiya ko namang tinanggap iyon.

"Uh... uhm..." I stuttered. "I don't know."

He chuckled. Kunot noo akong lumingon sakanya. Ngumisi siya sa akin at tsaka sumubo ng pagkain.

"It's like you don't want me to come."

"Oh... no, no!" agap ko. "That's not the case. It's just that... don't you have a lot of things to do? I mean, you're a busy person and I guess you have a lot of things to do and-"

I tried to use as many excuses as possible but everything didn't work on him.

"Don't worry about it, Kelsey. I can work through laptop. What's the conference for?"

"I told you it's about the charity that I was trying to help since I was eighteen. You'll get bored in that talk so I guess you shouldn't-"

"Are you one of the speakers?"

Oh, damn it!

My eyes widened because of his question. Paano niya nalaman?

"H-How did you know?" I asked.

"I see you've been working hard with this powerpoint presentation. So, is my guess right?"

"Uh... actually, I am. They asked me to be one of the speakers but you don't have to come!" sinubukan ko siyang pigilan pero ngumiti lang siya sa akin at tsaka tumango. Kumunot naman muli ang noo ko.

"Then I'll come." He said like his decision is final.

I opened my mouth to stop him pero naunahan niya ako.

"My wife is one of the speakers. I want to hear what she has to say." He smirked and then he continued eating like nothing happened.

My jaw dropped. Then I guess... I can't do anything about it anymore. Benjamin will come with me in Canada and he's there to listen to my talk. How nice is that?

Ayos ba tayo dyan, Kelsey? Hindi ba tayo kakabahan lalo niyan?

Simula nang malaman ko na sasama si Benjamin ay mas pinagbutihan ko ang pag-gawa ng presentation. Ayokong mapahiya sa harap ng asawa ko. Mahirap na.

It's already past 3 AM and I still haven't finished the presentation that I need for the conference. We'll be leaving in a few days at hanggang ngayon sa tingin ko wala paring sense ang mga pinaglalagay ko dito.

Kinamot ko na ang mga mata ko para mas makapagfocus sa ginagawa pero unti-unti na talaga akong napapapikit nang dahil sa antok. Nakailang baso na ako ng kape pero wala paring epekto sa akin iyon! I'm still so sleepy!

I craned my neck to the side. Ipinikit ko naman ang mga mata ko. When I opened my eyes, I was taken a back when I saw someone in front of me. Mabilis na kumalabog ang puso ko dahil akala ko kung sino na ito.

"Still not finished?" Benjamin asked. Huling kita ko sakanya kanina ay noong nasa opisina niya pa siya.

"No." I answered simply. I yawned.

Umikot naman siya para mas makalapit sa akin. Sinundan ko siya ng tingin. What is he doing?

Tiningnan niya ang nasa laptop ko. When he saw that it was about my presentation, he sat beside me. Kunot noo ko siyang tiningnan.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'll do it." hinarap niya ang laptop ko sakanya.

"What?" tanong ko, medyo hindi makapaniwala.

"I'll do it. You should take a rest." He said gently. Para akong hinehele sa boses niya. Parang gusto ko nalang bumigay at matulog sa tabi niya nang dahil doon.

"But you've been working-"

"Baby, I've been sleeping inside my room for the past five hours. Sapat na ang tulog kong iyon. It's time for you to take a rest."

Oh, how nice it is to hear him calling me baby.

"Are you sure?" I asked again. He nodded his head and smiled a little at me.

Tumango ako. I hesistated if I shoulde really go to sleep or to just stay here beside him and watch as he does the work for me.

I pouted and stood up. Bago pa ako makaikot sa upuan ko ay hinawakan niya ako sa palapulsuan. He pulled me in towards him. Mamaya-maya pa ay naramdaman ko nalang ang malalambot niyang labi sa akin.

Saglit na hindi nagproseso sa akin ang nangyayari.

He pulled away from the kiss. Habang ako naman ay gulat na gulat parin sa ginawa niya. Akala ko makakatulog na ako ng malaya! Hindi pa pala!

I look at him with eyes so wide na hindi mo aakalain na kanina pa ako inaantok. I blushed hard. Damn it, Benjamin!

Nang makita niya ang reaksyon ko ay bahagya siyang natawa.

"Enough to keep you awake or asleep?" he teased. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. "Good night. Sleep well, Kelsey."

Sleep well? How am I suppose to sleep well when I'm hyperventilating because of his kiss? Huh? Sa tingin niya paano?!

"Good night." I said simply. I acted like it was nothing but in fact, I'm wide awake again because of his kiss!

Hinayaan niya akong magtungo sa kwarto. Hindi parin ako makapaniwala sa nangyari. It's really hard to get used to this. It's really hard...

So, how am I supposed to sleep now when his kiss is enough to keep me awake?