I groaned, pushing my IV stand forward. "Stop groaning, we've only been walking for five minutes." Declan muttered.

"You're not the one with back pain." I whispered under my breath. Ever since Bennett was moved into my room, which was four days ago, they've been making me take walks 'so my legs don't become jello'. Okay they didn't say jello but that's what's going to happen if I don't work my leg muscles.

Declan and Jordan have been switching on and off staying with me at night, but I don't get much sleep. I usually can't sleep due to the fact that Bennett's right next to me and is now breathing on his own! I just stare at him like a creep and let my thoughts consume me, Jordan and Declan are just there for their warmth and emotional support even if they don't know it.

"Hey!" I blinked a couple times before swatting Declan's hand away. I scowled at him, "Stop doing that."

He raised a bushy eyebrow at me, "Then stop spacing out.. you're scaring me." He was looking forward, focusing on the wall ahead of us. I leaned forward to see his face but it was a blank slate, like a piece of printer paper. I looked down wondering if I really just compared him to a piece of printer paper. "Are you spacing out again?" Declan waved his hand in front of my face, looking at me like I had run over his cat.

I groaned, being fed up with him doing this I grabbed his hand forcing it to my side. He blinked several times looking from our hands to me. I rolled my eyes pushing my IV stand and pulling him at the same time as I walked towards my room.

If I'm being honest I couldn't help but but love the warmth that seeped through his hand and warmed my chest. I smiled looking down. He was always so warm..

"Are you spacing out again!" I slumped. Just had to ruin the moment. I let go of his hand and walked into my room. I closed the door behind me and waited for Declan to come banging on the door.

"Hey!" On cue. "What am I supposed to do out here?" He banged on the door before someone told him to stop.

I sighed extra loud and yelled, "I don't know! Maybe go home and take a shower or get me some actual food!"

I heard his laughter fade as he walked away, probably going to get me some real food.

"Same as always." A voice sounding strained spoke out. I gasped, turning around so fast my hair flew into my mouth. I screamed running to the other side of the room almost forgetting to pull the IV stand with me. "Agh! Not so loud." I smiled sadly standing awkwardly by the side of his bed.

"Sorry."

He chuckled, rubbing his eye "I didn't know your voice could go that high."

I frowned looking him over. My eyes started to mist over and I could feel the sting of water in the corners of my eyelids. As soon as he looked me in the eye he started shaking his head, "Hey, don't cry." I sniffed, rubbing my nose begging for the tears to go away. He sighed, closing his eyes and opening his arms.

I smiled weakly and crawled into his arms, being careful to not hurt him. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed. I sighed, burying my head in his neck. A small gust of hot air blew on the top of my head as he let out a breath and I loved the feeling of it.

"Bennett?" I whispered against his neck.

I could feel the vibration in his chest as he hummed. I smiled as he rubbed his cheek against my hair and placed a kiss at the crown of my head. I lifted my head and smiled at him, my tears now gone and an overwhelming sense of joy taking over.

"I l-" I hesitated. Was I ready to say that to him? Was I ready to tell him what he told me?

"I love you."

Was I ready to tell him the words I had been obsessing over and rethinking? Maybe he didn't mean it and just blurted it? Maybe it was an accident? Maybe it-

"Don't." I blinked, looking at him confused. "Don't say it." He shook his head lightly.

"How did you know what I was going to say?" I furred my brows looking at him increasingly.

He chuckled, and at that moment his hand started rubbing circles on the bare skin of my back. I watched him and I think he didn't realize he was even doing it, almost like he was doing it absentmindedly. Then he brought me back to earth, "It's all over your face."

I wanted to roll my eyes but I really didn't have it in me. "What do you mean?"

He chuckled, leaning forward and placing a lingering kiss on my temple. "It's hard to explain."

"Doesn't sound too hard to me." I muttered to myself. I looked back at Bennett to see him staring at me with an eyebrow raised. I cleared my throat and commented "You look good."

"You look like crap."

I frowned looking at my hands, "Gee thanks."

My hurt disappeared when I heard him laugh. I felt like crying because the last time I heard him laugh was... I don't know, it's been that long. I watched a tear come out of his left eye and roll down his cheek, he was laughing that hard. Then he winced and calmed down, "Don't worry, I'm sure I look crap too."

I nodded instantly, "You do." His smile got bigger and I was stunned. I had never seen him smile like this. It was full of happiness and it instantly made me smile. The room had gone quiet but I broke the silence "I missed you." I couldn't look at him as I said it but when I heard him sniffle my head whipped up like somebody said there was a taco stand selling dollar tacos.

A tear rolled down his pale cheek and I wanted to cry from seeing him cry. I have never, ever seen him cry and I don't like seeing him cry at all. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug. I held him and rubbed his back until he spoke. "I thought you were gone."

I pulled back slowly and stared into his icy blue eyes. I smiled sadly, wiping away his tears with the pad of my thumb. "No dummy, I thought you were gone." I chuckled, feeling the mood dampen.

Yet somehow his smile- even if it's watery -can make the darkest days feel like rainbows and sunshine.

Ten minutes later and we're on our sides in our own beds staring at each other. Maybe it's because we truly did think the other was gone. Or it could be because we're afraid that if we look away that the other one really will be gone. For me, I would say both but I could care less because he's right here and that's all that matters.

"Do you still want the answer to your question?"

I looked at him strangely, "What question?"

"Why I've been treating you so badly."

I made an O with my mouth and nodded. He was looking at me but he wasn't looking at me, he was more looking at my nose or forehead as he spoke. "It's hard to talk about my feelings for you to you so if I pause just give me a minute." I nodded.

"Whatever makes you comfortable."

"I guess it started when you and Jordan kissed by accident, it bothered me even if I knew it was an accident. But then the more I thought about it the more it bothered me and then when you went to that party and didn't text Declan that you were fine, I got worried.. So when I heard a car pull in I was so worried about you that I ran out the front door, then I saw you kissing Jordan and thought 'I was worried sick about you and you were out with Jordan'. I got mad because.. I wanted to be the one you were kissing in the car," My breath hitched. "but then the more I thought about it I realized the real reason I was being mean to you... I was mad at myself for not telling you my feelings and taking my anger out on you.. I was mad at myself because.. I didn't mind you kissing Jordan. It didn't hurt me in any way when you guys kissed.. I was mad because I didn't mind the idea of you kissing Jordan and then kissing me- even if we haven't kissed yet!"

I laughed as he rushed to get the last part out. My laughter died and I was left to think about what he said. He was mad at himself for not minding the idea of me and Jordan kissing and then me and him.

"Thank goodness!" I sighed in relief.

"Wait- what?" I laughed at the confusion written all over his face and got off my bed.

"You've been mean to me this whole time because you didn't mind the idea of me kissing you then Jordan?" He nodded, still looking at me confused.

"Yes that's what I just said."

I rolled my eyes and sat on the edge of his bed, "Boys are so oblivious it's irritating."

"Hey! Not all of us are." I looked at the door when I heard Jordan's voice. He was standing there in a white shirt and baggy jeans. It fit him. "I mean Bennett and Declan are total idiots-"

"Look who's talking." Bennett muttered under his breath. I smiled looking back at Jordan.

"-but me, I'm so smart you don't need a dictionary anymore." I raised my eyebrows at that one but didn't say anything. I had better things to do.

I looked at Bennett and watched him turn to look at me, his eyes seeming to light up somehow. I cupped his face and stared into his eyes, "I don't mind kissing Jordan then you." Then our lips met.

It was sweet and quick- a little too quick -but still just as good. He didn't kiss me back probably from shock but I didn't care. "I didn't expect to see this when I came back." I locked eyes with Declan and all my confidence disappeared. I could feel my whole face heat up as I dove for my blanket. I hid my face and prayed to the lords that they would forget this ever happened. Laughter filled the room as I closed my eyes and thought, I'm never going to live this down.
______________________________________

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