Listen to Story Of My Life while reading this because I did and I cried k. I have it on the side.x

Hours later Niall sat in his room, absolutely confused. He didn't know why Zayn was pushing him away and it was really bothering him. He had tried everything to detach his mind away from it; even try to call his folks back home.

No one answered after many calls. Niall simply felt neglected. But it never bothered him anyway. What bothered him was that Zayn was keeping secrets. He couldn't stand it when he didn't know something. No one could leave Niall out of anything.

He dialed Zayn's number for the fifteenth time, and was only sent to his voice-mail. He sighed and threw his cell phone in the air, only to not catch it and let it hit the bed.

Maybe he was at home and not near his cell?

Niall picked up his phone once again and called Zayn's home number. Liam's mother answered.

"Niall?"

Niall remembered that Zayn's family had in on speed dial.

"Hi Mrs. Payne, is Zayn around?" Niall asked, wanting to talk to his boyfriend.

"I'm sorry Niall, but Zayn hasn't come home yet? I thought he'd be with you."

"But...but he's not." Niall said, replaying Liam's mother's words in his head.

"Then where is he?" she asked.

"Look Mrs. Payne I'll get back to you, but for now I have to go."

Niall hung up his cell phone and stared at it. Zayn was missing?

Again?

ZAYN MALIK

'Dear...Everyone,

Zayn didn't know what to write from there. He had no idea what he was doing, but he knew why he was doing it.

One day you're going to hate me for this. I know you will. That's just what happens to people like me. Mistakes are meant to be hated. That's how it always should have been. I should've done this a long time ago. I should've put you out of your misery a long time ago. I should have realized the problems I've caused and the people I've hurt. The lives I've ruined, it would've all came back to haunt me anyway. All the scars and bruises already reminded me of the problems people had with me. No one wants me, so I'm going to give them their wish.

I'll miss you, if you weren't playing me like the world was.'

Zayn folded the paper up and placed it on the counter in the coffee shop. He ripped out another paper from his notebook and stared at it. Tears filled his eyes as he thought about his precious Niall. About how upset he knew he'd be. But at the same he knew he was helping Niall. He was only a danger to Niall.

He took out his pen and began to write his note to Niall.

'Nialler,

I know you're going to think I'm crazy. I know you're going to do what you always do.You'll tell me I'm a very good person and that I deserve everything I have. And I'll agree with you. I do deserve everything have. A weight on my chest that needs to be lifted. Nialler I have to do this, and I know once I'm gone you'll try to tell me that I'm still crazy. But, I'm only doing this because you deserve better angel. I do what I do because I love you. Just like when I paid for lunch, and didn't ride any roller coasters at Six Flags? I do these little things because I love you so fucking much it hurts. But I guess this isn't so little is it...

I love you unconditionally Niall. Do me proud.

x'

Zayn knew that he was doing something that could tarnish Niall's innocence, but he was doing this out of his own selfishness, something he couldn't control.

NIALL HORAN

No one knew where he was.

This was freaking bad.

Niall asked Harry and Louis, Zayn's friends, everyone. No one knew where he was, and his worry was becoming an obsession.

"Zayn?!" he screamed into open space, "Where the hell are you?!"

Niall looked around to see if Zayn would just appear behind him and pick him up, spin his around and kiss his head and make him feel loved again, but he knew that wasn't going to happen as long as he was missing.

Niall soon entered a coffee shop across the street, cold from the outside air.

He ordered a hazelnut flavored coffee and sat down on a stool, feeling defeated. He had no idea where his precious Zaynie was, and it was killing him, knowing that he was missing.

"Yeah I know right?"

Niall tuned into the two workers talking behind the counter.

"That kid that was here creeped me out though, and he looked weird too. He's got to be Pakistani... obviously,"

Niall's eyes widened.

"Did he have black shaggy hair?" Niall asked the two men abruptly.

"...Yes..." one said. When Niall realized they were talking about Zayn, he felt relief and anger to the men. Relief because they might know where he went, and anger because they were judging his boyfriend because of his race.

"Watch what you say ey?" Niall scolded them, "Being Pakistani isn't a disease."

The two men stared at Niall in shock.

"You happen to know where that 'weirdo' went?" Niall said with a snarl in his voice.

"We saw him go around the corner..." the other man said.

"Thank you." Niall said as his coffee was placed on the counter. He left the money of the countertop and wrapped his fingers around the piping hot beverage. He exited the coffee shop and sighed. He turned the corner and continued his search for Zayn.

ZAYN MALIK
1ST POV

I slipped the notes under the front door of my house and sighed. I knew Niall would go there first once he realized he was missing.

This is it I guess.

I stepped back and stared at the house that held the people that took in a wreck like me.

Honestly they have hearts of pure gold.

I don't deserve any of this.

I deserve to die.

Hopefully they'll understand.

I turned away from my house and ran down the driveway into the streets.

I just can't seem to stop running can I...it's the story of my life anyway. I'm a fucking coward, and maybe it's a good thing I'll be gone in a matter of hours.

NIALL HORAN
1ST POV

I knocked on Zayn's door, hoping that he had arrived home. I was really nervous, I mean, what if he got kidnapped?

Liam opened the door but what I saw scared me. His face was covered in tears and I could hear his mother crying from the living room.

"Mrs. Payne?!" I exclaimed running to her, "What happened?!"

She continued to cry, but pointed at a piece of paper on the counter.

"It's for you..." Liam whispered as he reached out to hold his mother's hand. I picked up the piece of paper from the counter and slowly opened it. The first letter popped out in front of my eyes and I choked on the suddenly dry air.

Zayn's penmanship...

I read each word in the note and with every word the tears fell faster. He was going t kill himself.

Fucking idiot.

I had to stop him.

I covered my eyes as I began to cry harder. He couldn't do this.

"Niall I'm so sorry--"

I didn't listen to them. Instead I ran out the front door and into the streets. I knew exactly where Zayn would take his life.

The cliff behind the tree where we had our first kiss.

ZAYN MALIK

This place had so much meaning to me. This was the place where I first confessed my love to Niall. Things had gone so well, it was the greatest moment of my life. Everything was perfect, the timing, the place, there were absolutely no flaws in the moment.

I figured I'd want to see this place one more time before I'd never be able to see it again.

I looked below me at the rocks below. The rocks that would be the cause of my death.

I took a step closer to the cliff and sighed.

Goodbye society, I hope you get what you wanted.

I took a step off the cliff but I was stopped by someone screaming my name.

"Zayn!"

Dammit.