Ahana's POV

I never experience motherhood, but now I am understanding, being a mother is completely overwhelmed by love, joy, responsibility and most important being selflessness. For society, a mother can only a woman but as a transgender, I will prove the society wrong that we also can love someone unconditionally.

I heard the girl crying, I rushed to her and picked her up in my arms. I slowly swung her right and left, I even sang a song to quiet her. Her tiny hand held my blouse, it seemed she was seeking for milk. I sighed in disappointment, I wish I could feed her.

I went out of the room and shouted "Neha, get me a baby bottle right now"

Neha came to me and said "money?"

I replied "I will give you later, please get one she is crying"

Neha agreed and left, it has been 15 minutes. She returned and I immediately took the bottle from her. I went to the kitchen and warmed the milk. I poured it into the bottle and went to the girl. I sat down on the bed and kept the girl on my lap. I tried to put the bottle inside her mouth, but she refused. After a few attempts, she finally grabbed it as she was hungry. I lightly patted her head and she slept. I smiled and felt relaxed.

Just then my friend entered in and said "Ahana we have to go"

"But how can I leave her alone?" I asked.

"Come on Ahana, if we don't go then you won't be able to feed her tomorrow," She said meaningfully.

I was concerned, then I remembered Gurumaa who can help me. I asked her to take care of the baby in my absence and she agreed. I left with my friends to the function. We reached a house, and it was the naming ceremony of the child.

The mother said "come and bless my child"

The beat played and I was mesmerized, as it generated pleasure sensations in my body. I along with my friends performed with giving the blessing to the child. Our leader was paid and we left. All the earnings were given to Gurumaa and she equally distributed among us but for me, it was not enough. As I had a responsibility with me.

It is not easy to raise a child, I will need to buy her clothes, get her admitted to the school and it is the 21st century where everything is expensive. It is difficult for us to survive, sometimes we don't have anything to eat.

I guess this earning is not enough. I need to get a job but who will give me a job? As I am not educated. My parents abandoned me after knowing, I a transgender and here in my world I was educated to dance and music.

I went to the room and saw her moving her leg and arm and making baby sounds. I smiled and thought of giving her a name.

My friends suggested a few names, but I was not satisfied.

"What about Manvi?" I asked Gurumaa

She smiled "it is beautiful as it means Human"

I kissed her forward and said "so from today we will call her Manvi"

The girl smiled, it seemed she loved her new name as she chuckled. I hugged her, closer to my heart and promised to never leave her in any hardship.

It was difficult for me to survive with just a few thousand. As her needs were more, I was not getting any way to find a solution to my problem.

My friend Neha came and gave me some gold bangles "Ahana take this"

I glanced at her.. "Why?"

"I know, you need to buy necessities for Manvi but you don't have the money so sell this and get some," she said.

I was overwhelmed with this. I denied "no, I can't'

"Ahana, I respect your decision and we are not just friends but sister so take it" She kept the bangles in my hand.

I left it and sold it to the jewellery owner. He gave me about thirty thousand and I smiled as this will be enough for the next 6 months. I went to the shop and bought dresses, baby food and other necessities. This gave me a different feeling, being a mother is definitely a selfless job.

I went back to my community, I entered my room and was shocked when I found Manvi missing. I panicked and searched for her in every room. I shouted "Manvi"

Gurumaa came and asked, "what happened Ahana?"

"Manvi is missing," I replied.

She gave me a bewildered look "what?? She is just a month old. How can she disappear?" she asked.

I replied "I don't know"

I looked around and asked, "where is everyone?"

"There is a wedding, they went to collect some money" Gurumaa replied.

I rushed out with Gurumaa to the place and was stunned seeing the scenario in front of me. 

To be continued. 

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Lots of Love

Thedreamer_ak (Manvi)