Episode 17: Act of Contrition (Part 2)

                   • • • TUTTI • • •

I QUICKLY PICKED up my things and put them inside my peach Anello backpack after our major class in Principles and Practices of Advertising.

"Tutti, sama ka sa'min. Kakain kami sa Burger King. Libre ko," aya ni Lee.

I stomped my right foot silently.

Sayang.

"Sorry, nakapangako na ako sa Charmings, e. May lakad din kami."

"Aww." Pabirong siniko ni Whiskey sa tagiliran ang biglang lumungkot na si Lee.

"Pero next promise sasama ako," I said.

"Really?" Lee lightened up.

"Basta ba libre mo parin," I kidded and he just nodded smilingly.

"Una na ako guys! Cheerio!" paalam ko sa kanila.

Truth is, Rum wanted us to be home early. All of our classes ended by one in the afternoon since we were early today because of the training. Papasok daw kami sa loob ng Simulation Room para tunguhin ang mundo ng mga walkers na nasa ibang dimensyon.

The owner of the shop where we usually buy coffins taught Rum how to summon the door of the Simulation Room. He's the only one who can do it since he's the funeral director. The owner is also a first-blood guardian. He further explained that the special room can take us anywhere and anytime we desire or need to go.

I immediately made my way to the Katipunan Road. Dadaanan daw kaming tatlong mga babae ni Dean doon dahil medyo malayo pa ang parking lot sa ArtScies Building.

Dumaan muna ako sa stall ng hotdog at bumili ng dalawang jumbo sticks. I couldn't get enough of just one stick.

"Bilisan mo!" bulyaw ni Dean sa akin sabay busina pa.

Nasa loob na rin ng backseat sina Queen at Snow.

Hawak-hawak ang dalawang stick sa magkabilang kamay ko ay tumakbo na ako palapit sa sasakyan. Bumaba si Rum sa front seat at pinagbuksan ako ng pinto ng backseat.

"Danke," pasasalamat ko sa kanya sabay malapad na ngiti. He smiled too.

"Uubusin mo lahat 'yan?" baling ni Dean sa akin.

"Hindi ako namimigay, Dean. Sensya na."

Snow giggled on her side while Dean groaned.

He set the engine to motion and then we drove off while I was making the most of my foods.

                 • • • SNOW • • •

NATIPON NA KAMI sa may harap ng pader kung saan lilitaw ang Simulation Room. Naka-PE uniform pa din kami kasi may training kami kaninang umaga kay Ms. Ferrer. Tsaka mas komportable naman ito.

"Snow, alam mo ba kung nasaan si Tutti?" tanong ni Rum sa akin.

Nagpalinga-linga ako. Wala nga siya dine!

"Talagang puputulan ko ng ulo 'yong kutong-lupa na 'yon, e. Ang bagal-bagal niya!" inis na bulalas ni Dean.

Pansin ko kanina pa siya excited na pumasok.

Maya-maya pa ay lumabas na si Tutti mula sa double doors ng lobby. May dala siyang eco bag na puno ng mga tsitsirya, tinapay at tubig.

Napahagikhik ako.

"Ano 'yang dala mo?" gulat at naiinis pa ding tanong ni Dean.

"Baka magutom ako," ngiti ni Tutti.

Alam kong matakaw siya sa pagkain pero ang ganoon karami ay hindi talaga para sa kanya lahat. Para sa aming lahat.

Kinuha ni Rum ang dala niya at ito na mismo ang nagdala.

"Handa na kayo?" tanong niya sa amin.

Hindi agad ako nakasagot. Kinakabahan ako, e.

Walkers naman ang kahaharapin namin. Another extraordinary creatures, another beasts.

Pero sa pagkakataong ito tatapangan ko na ang sarili ko. Aaminin ko nakadagdag sa kumpiyansa ko ang pagkakaroon ko ng kakaibang weapon.

Binalingan ko sila isa-isa. Si Dean akmang sisikuhin na si Tutti sa mukha sa inis. Tapos si Tutti natawa lang. Si Queen naman nairap na lang sa dalawa.

Huli akong nabaling kay Rum. Pinagsasabihan niya si Dean pero nang madapo ang tingin niya sa banda ko ay nginitian niya ako. I want to look away but I didn't because I feel like he will see every confusion stirring inside of me if I do.

I smiled at him.

For me, I was sure it was Dean.

Pero bakit ako naguguluhan sa'yo, Rum?

Hinarap niya ang pader at kinatok niya ng tatlong beses iyon. 'Di nagtagal ay lumitaw na ang parehong pinto na nakita at pinasok ko noong nakaraan. It was a huge wooden double doors with intricate carvings of gold. Then, a square-like machine also materialized on the side of the door.

May nakalagay doon na location na animo ay natanong ng lugar na pupuntahan namin.

"World of walkers," Rum articulated.

Umilaw iyong machine at maya-maya pa ay tumunog na ang pinto, hudyat nang pagkakabukas nito.

Rum stepped in first followed by Queen then Tutti. Bago ako pumasok ay nalingon ako kay Dean. Kaagad na rumehistro ang inis sa mukha niya.

"Gusto mo itulak pa kita papasok?" anas niya.

Nakagat ko ang labi at sinundan na ang tatlo sa loob. Pagpasok ko sa loob ay namilog ang mga mata ko sa nabungad sa akin.

Tahimik ang buong paligid. May mga abandonadong mga gusali at establisyamento kahit saan ako tumingin. May mga sasakyan ding nakakalat na napaglumaan o sira na sa mga kalsada. We are like inside a post-apocalyptic world.

"Mukhang wala nang ibang buhay dito kundi mga walkers lang," komento ni Tutti na nasa harapan ko kasama ang dalawa pang nauna.

Nagulat kaming apat nang biglang bumagsak si Dean sa langit.

"Oh. Wasak," usal ni Tutti nang mapansing natipak ang semento ng kalsada na pinagbasakan ni Dean.

"Dean!" sigaw ni Rum at kaagad na dumalo dine.

Natauhan ako at sumunod na din sa kanya.

"Ayos ka lang?"

Dean groaned but he pushed himself up. He landed on the ground face first.

"What did you do?" tanong ni Rum.

Nakahinga din ako nang maluwag dahil mukhang hindi naman napano si Dean.

"Shit, tol! Buti buhay pa ako!"

"Anong ginawa mo at bumagsak ka?" seryosong tanong na ngayon ni Rum.

Naiwas ng tingin si Dean, halatang guilty.

"W-wala naman..."

Napasipol si Tutti sa pwesto niya sabay bulong ng, "Sinungaling."

Dean darted her a sharp glare.

"What? I just assessed what you said," giit naman ni Tutti.

"Dean," Rum called using a warning tone.

"Okay, fine! I tried slamming my hammer on that fucking door. Hindi ko alam na ibabagsak pala niya ako mula sa langit," pag-amin niya.

Namilog ang mga asul na mata ni Rum sa gulat.

"Bakit mo naman ginawa 'yon?"

"Sorry na, inay. Na-excite ako masyado kaya sinubukan ko kung gaano kalakas 'yong pinto. E, tanginang, totoong buhay pala!"

Nailing na lang si Rum at pinagsabihan ulit si Dean na huwag nang gagawin iyon.

"What's that? Did you also hear that?" pagtataka ni Queen.

Maliwanag pa ang paligid kaya nalingon kami sa pinanggalingan ng tunog. Tunog yapak ng maraming mga paa.

Napalunok ako sa nakita kong nasa malayo. Kumpol-kumpol ng mga nilalang na agnas na ang mga balat at parang nangingisay kung maglakad.

"M-may... m-may hukbo ng mga w-walkers na palapit dine," kinakabahan kong hayag sa kanila.

"Magtago tayo," utos ni Rum.

We nodded and immediately seek for hideout. Tumabi kami at nagtago sa may sirang gusali.

"Nasaan si Dean?" tanong ni Rum nang nalingon sa amin.

"Stronzo! He's there!" turo ni Queen sa labas.

"Shibal! 'Wag niyang sabihing nagpapasikat siya!" di makapaniwalang bulalas ni Tutti.

Rum inhaled sharply when we saw Dean stilled outside. He was standing at the center with his hammer and a smirk on his face.

"Rum!" kinakabahang tawag ni Queen sa kanya.

"Anong klaseng utak ba mayr'on tong lalaking to?" segunda naman ni Tutti.

Lumabas si Rum at lalapitan na sana si Dean nang biglang sumugod ang mga walkers. Pigil ang hininga naming mga babae habang nanonood mula sa loob.

Dean, ano bang ginagawa mo?!

Pinapakaba mo ako, kaming lahat, e.

Pero ang mas ikinagulat namin ay ang paglagpas ng mga walkers kay Dean habang nagpapaunahan papunta sa kung saan.

Windang kaming lahat sa nasaksihan maging sina Rum at Dean. Kaagad na hinatak ni Rum si Dean papasok dine nang makabawi siya.

"Ano sa tingin mo ang ginagawa mo?!" tanong ni Rum sa kanya sa mataas at matigas na boses. Mukhang hindi na ito natutuwa pa sa ginagawa niya.

Queen furiously pushed Dean by his chest. He only stepped aback slightly.

"What the hell were you thinking?! You think you can stand those bunch of gross walking dead bodies?! You're not thinking at all!" Queen pushed him again in anger.

Muntik na siya doon.

"Paano nangyari 'yon?" gulantang niya pa ding sambit.

"I mean, I'm pretty sure they saw me. Kasi kung hindi, tatagos o hindi nila papakialaman kahit na mabangga o matapakan nila ako. Pero... pero iniwasan nila ako. Sigurado ako! Iniwasan nila ako! Bakit?!" dagdag na paliwanag niya pa at hiyaw.

Queen groaned in annoyance and just rolled her eyes heavenwards.

"Rum," baling naman ni Dean kay Rum, naghahanap ng kasagutan.

Nailing si Rum, "Hindi ko masasagot 'yan, Dean. Hindi ko alam kung kagagawan ba iyon ng Simulation Room o dahil iyon ang patakaran sa mundong 'to."

"Anong ibig mong sabihin, Rum?" I asked when I couldn't help observing anymore.

"This is the world of walkers. Simula nang mamatay sila sa mundo natin ay wala na silang kaluluwa nang mapunta rito. Souls are keeping them conscious and merciful but they're just mindless undead wreckers here. Wala na silang kaide-ideya sa maraming mga bagay. They might have seen you as some sort of foreign or an alien specie they don't know so they don't bother even studying or approaching."

"Listen, I think I know why you were being ignored by the walkers," sabat bigla ni Tutti sa paliwanag ni Rum.

We all drifted our attention towards her. She might have known what and why really that happened.

"You see, walkers are zombies," panimula niya sabay lahad una ng kanang palad tapos ng kaliwa naman na parang nagkokompara ng dalawang bagay.

"Ang mga zombies, kumakain ng utak. Si Dean wala namang utak kaya ini-snob nila kasi wala naman silang mapapala," she laughed.

Dean groaned and tried to reach for her. Mabilis na nagtago si Tutti sa likod ni Rum habang tumatawa pa din.

Napahagikhik na din ako. Nakagat ko kaagad ang labi upang pigilan iyon nang nabaling si Dean sa akin. Tutti was trying to lighten the mood.

"Tama na 'yan. We have to go find Father Piccolo's remains," pigil ni Rum sa kanila.

Natango kami lahat at umalis na sa pinagtataguang gusali. We traversed the eerily empty streets.

Queen groaned after a few moments later.

"I'm so tired! We're like on a wild goose chase, only that we're looking for a plump walker for a priest!" she blurted out.

Natingin ako kay Tutti nang may parte akong hindi maintindihan sa sinabi ni Queen.

"Wild goose chase?" I mumbled and she smiled.

"An idiom that describes a foolish and hopeless pursuit of something unattainable," she explained and it's my turn to smile at her.

Minsan talaga hindi ako maalam sa mga lenggwahe.

"Where do we find him?" inis na usal ni Queen sabay hilig sa nguso ng isang sasakyan at halukipkip.

Lahat kami ay nagulat nang mahulog bigla mula sa overpass na nasa uluhan namin ang isang walker.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang matanto kung sino 'yon.

"S-si Father Piccolo..." turo ko sa walker na bumagsak.

Dumungaw kami sa itaas. Mabilis na hinarang ni Dean ang katawan sa remains ng pari nang binaril nang nasuot ng gas mask ulit ito.

"Dean!" sigaw ni Rum nang natamaan si Dean sa tagiliran.

Mabilis kaming dumalo ni Rum sa bumagsak nang si Dean sa kalsada na sapo-sapo ang kanyang sugatang tagiliran. S-sino 'yon?

Sinalo ko ang ulo ni Dean habang inalis naman ni Rum ang kamay nito sa sugat at pinalitan ng kanyang palad upang pigilan ang pag-agos ng dugo. Dean grunted when Rum pushed his palm deeper on the wounds.

"Tangina, Rum! Ang sakit!"

"Tiisin mo kung hindi mauubusan ka ng dugo! Bakit mo sinalo 'yong bala?!" sabat naman ni Rum sa kanya sa mataas na boses, pinapagalitan si Dean.
                
Si Queen nanigas sa kinatatayuan niya habang gulantang na pinapanood ang nangyayari. Ako naman naiiyak habang hawak-hawak ang sugatang si Dean.

"Hahabulin ko siya," deklara ni Tutti at kumaripas ng takbo kasunod noong naka-mask.

Ang bilis niyang tumakbo. Napakurap ako.

"Tutti!" tawag ni Rum sa kanya na tatayo na sana upang sundan si Tutti pero nahinto dahil naungot ulit sa sakit si Dean.

Rum was really torn but he turned his attention again on the in pain Dean when Tutti just vanished through the forest where the gas mask man entered.

"We have to find a place where I can treat his wounds," he said.

                 • • • TUTTI • • •

I CHASED AFTER the gas mask man who shot Dean and who probably pushed Father Piccolo's walker down the overpass. We dove deeper into the forest as he continued to run away.

When I got closer to him, I pulled the back of his jacket and threw him hard on one of the trees nearby.

Naglaglagan ang ilang mga dahon sa lakas ng pagkakabangga niya roon. Napaupo siya roon at ininda ang sakit ng likod na natamaan.

I quickly advanced forward and stood in front of him. He weakly tried to reach for his gun beside him but I kicked it away.

"Sino ka?" I asked.

No response.

I removed his gas mask and was surprised to see a walker. No. He's just starting to turn into a walker the moment I took off his mask.

Unlike the others, he's still conscious. He was not even rotting. Maputla lang siya na konti na lang ay magiging kalansay na. The circles under his eyes were very dark.

"Who are you? Anong balak mo kay Father Piccolo?"

He laughed at the mention of the priest's name. It was the kind of laugh without humour and dripping with acidic fury.

"Pinatay ko na siya noon kaso walker din pala ang puta," he revealed.

Nagulat ako. He was the priest's killer and they're both walkers.

"Alam mo bang pinatay ko pa ang sarili ko para lang mapatay ulit siya rito," he laughed again humorlessly.

I just looked at him and remained silent.

"Putangina! Kulang pa ang dalawang beses kong pagpatay sa kanya para sa pagsira at utang niyang mga buhay sa akin," he screamed at first then he sobbed.

"Anong ginawa niya sa'yo?"

His eyes drifted up on me.

"Sinira niya ang buong buhay ko..."

Malungkot siyang nagbaba ng tingin. I assessed his personality with the use of his words and body language.

He was sad, furious, lonely, and tired. He wanted revenge and nothing else but he's not willing to share his pain and past to others.

I understand. 

From how I see it, the priest really did something gravely horrible and something unforgivable to him.

"Hindi ko alam ang totoong nangyari pero naniniwala ako sa'yo kaya nangangako akong igaganti kita sa kanya," I promised him.

                 • • • QUEEN • • •

FROM THE UNCONSCIOUS Dean, I darted my sight towards Rum. His t-shirt was soiled with blood and so was his hands.

We're inside an abandoned establishment near the location we were at awhile ago. Si Snow namumugto ang mga mata habang nakaupo at nakatanaw sa walang malay na si Dean. Rum managed to treat him using the items we found here. Pero wala parin siyang malay.

Hindi naman kasi mangyayari 'to kung hindi siya nagpaka-hero at sinalo ang bala.

Isa pa, nag-aalala rin ako sa Instik na hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa nakakabalik nang sundan ang namaril kanina. Maging si Rum pansin kong kanina pa tahimik at mukhang nag-aalala rin sa stepsister niyang umalis.

I hope she's fine and away from danger. Ang liit pa naman n'on.

I looked at the walker of Father Piccolo lying on the side. Ito ang puno't dulo ng lahat. I don't know but I feel like I have a bad blood for him.

Dala nang kinikimkim kong galit ay palihim kong sinipa ang pari.

"Hahanap muna ako ng antiseptic at analgesic para hindi ma-inspeksyon at masyadong maramdaman ni Dean ang sakit," paalam ni Rum. Tahimik na tumango si Snow.

"I'll come with you," I said and he nodded.

We walked in search for convenience stores or pharmacies with the said medicines until we stopped at one. We went inside and I helped him look for it.

Rum was unusually silent. Hindi naman siya madaldal pero pansin kong parang ang bigat-bigat ng dinadala niya ngayon.

I cannot stand this anymore.

I stopped rummaging the stocks in front of me and sighed. I drifted my eyes on him. He was standing on my side, silently looking for what we're here for.

"Rum, what's wrong?" I asked and he stopped whatever he was doing.

Binalot kami ng matinding katahimikan. I waited for him to speak up until he did.

"I'm sorry."

My brows furrowed. Why was he apologizing?

"What are you apologizing for?"

"This. This is all my fault, Queen. Ako ang nagdala sa buhay niyo sa panganib," mahina niyang tugon nang hindi parin tumitingin sa akin.

"Of course not, Rum."

"If I haven't brought all of you here with me in this place, you'll be safe. I'm really sorry for failing you. I supposed to take care of all of you and keep you safe but seems like I'm the one who pushed you to danger."

"Why would you say that?" I sharply fired back.

He looked at me with his tired and sad apologetic blue eyes.

"Si Dean nabaril tapos si Tutti nawawala. Mahina pa naman siya sa direksyon, Queen. Kung ako na lang sana ang nagtungo rito mag-isa ay kakayanin ko but I couldn't stand seeing you in pain and hurt and in danger. I would risk my life for the four of you. I should have known better. Sana ako na lang mag-isa nagpunta rito."

"And what? Mag-isa kang mamamatay dito?!"

He stared straight into my eyes and very soul then he smiled weakly.

"That's better than losing all of you."

Nanatili akong titig sa kanya. Hindi makapaniwala sa sinabi niya.

He was willing to sacrifice his own life for us.

Bakit?

Why are you like this, Rum?

Always being kind, soft, caring, loving and very much understanding.

Why can't you be selfish even just for once?

I looked up and licked my lower lip. I'm trying to prevent my tears from falling but my eyes really stung. I felt that when I looked at him again but I am brave enough to make him understand what we are actually losing when he's gone.

"Rum, for years you've been our friend, our brother, our mentor, and even our mother. You haven't seen how much you mean to us and how greatly you've had sacrificed for our own sake."

I closed my eyes for a second and looked at him again.

"Please don't think that way. You've done so much for us and you never fail us."

"If you're worried about Tutti, you can go and find her," I continued.

"Paano kayo?"

"Snow and I will be fine. We'll take care of Dean. We have our weapons with us and we'll keep each other safe."

Rum walked towards me. He gently cupped and pecked on my cheek then he smiled.

"Promise me you'll be safe while the mother hen's away," he jeered to comfort me.

I smiled and nodded at him.

                 • • • TUTTI • • •

HILA-HILA PARIN ANG malaking sanga ng kahoy na binali ko kanina sa isang puno ay nagpatuloy ako sa paghahanap at pagbaybay ng daan palabas ng madilim na gubat na ito. Gumagabi na, e. Si Dylan naman bigla na lang nag-disappear. Iyon ang pakilala niya sa akin.

Ginagamit ko iyong sanga upang mag-iwan ng marka sa lupa ng mga madadaanan ko na.

I sighed.

My sense of direction is very poor and I am sad.

I stopped walking and narrowed my eyes into slits when I noticed a familiar figure approaching.

My eyes widened in surprise when I finally recognized who it was. I smiled toothily and enthusiastically waved my hand at him. I hope he could see me.

"Rum!" I called him while still beaming, waving, and almost half jumping.

He stopped, his eyes also widened in surprise when he finally saw me then he rushed towards me and instantly enveloped me into a warm and tight embrace.

Natawa ako sa sobrang higpit n'on na para bang ayaw na niya akong pakawalan.

"Bakit ba lagi mo na lang ginagawa 'yon?" he asked with a voice so husky I stilled.

"H-ha?"

Pinilit kong lumingon sa kanya pero tanging ang balikat at leeg lang niya ang nakikita ko sa higpit ng yakap niya.

"Bakit lagi ka na lang umaalis nang hindi nagpapaalam nang maayos?"

"Alam mo ba kung gaano ako kanag-aalala sa tuwing ginagawa mo 'yon?" he continued and I softened at that.

"Lagi akong natatakot na baka... na baka hindi ka na makabalik ulit sa akin."

I stiffened after hearing that. I let go of the branch I was holding and closed my eyes as I also hugged him tight.

illinoisdewriter

A/N:

Nakalimutan kong i-define ang Act of Contrition last update so here it is.

As defined by Wikipedia, Act of Contrition is a Christian prayer genre that expresses sorrow for sins. It may be used in liturgical services or privately, especially with connection to the examination of conscience.

Usually, ginagamit siya tuwing confessions after you stated your sins and then the priest will examine their kind and times you've committed them. Una bibigyan ka muna nila ng appropriate penance for your sins (e.g. pray 3 Hail Marys and 1 Our Father) then they will ask you to pray the act of contrition na where you deeply apologize for your sins and ask for God's mercy.

P.S.

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