Episode 16: Act of Contrition

Sa isang mainit na tanghali ay pinapaypayan ng matanda at may katabaang si Father Piccolo ang sarili gamit ang kanyang kanang kamay habang naghihintay sa loob ng confessional booth.

Maya-maya pa ay narinig na niya ang tunog nang pagpasok ng kung sinuman sa kabilang bahagi ng confessional. Patuloy parin siya sa pagpapaypay.

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned and will still have an incoming sin. My last confession was ten years ago..."

"Will still have an incoming sin? Uulitin mo?"

"Father Piccolo."

Natigilan ang pari nang tawagin siya ng lalaki sa kabilang bahagi. Paano siya nakilala nito?

"Bakit mo ako kilala?"

Nanindig ang balahibo ng pari nang tumawa ang lalaki.

"May tanong ako, Father."

"A-ano 'yon?" kinakabahang usal ng pari.

"Bakit walang gwardiyang nag-iinspeksiyon bago kami pumasok sa mga simbahan?"

"D-dahil ito ay tahanan ng Diyos at walang taong naglalakas-loob na gumawa ng masama rito!" tumataas na ang boses ng pari dala ng kaba.

Sino ito?

"Gaano ka kasigurado, Father?"

Natahimik ang pari. Hindi niya mawari ang sasabihin. Napalunok siya bago nagsalitang muli.

"S-sino ka?"

"Sampung taon na ang nakakaraan, sa loob ng mismong confessional na ito pagkatapos ng misa mo, ano ang ginawa mo?"

Muling nabalot ng katahimikan ang pari. Pilit niyang hinuhugot mula sa kanyang isipan ang mga alaala ng kahapon.

"A-anong ibig mong s-sabihin?"

Bahaw na natawa ang lalaki.

"Confess your sins, Father."

"H-hindi ko alam ang s-sinasabi mo!" pagmamaang-maangan ng pari.

"Confess or I will see you in hell, Father," banta ng lalaki sa mababa at madiing boses.

"Wala akong ginawang masa-"

"Putangina mo!" galit na galit na sigaw ng lalaki sa kabila sabay hampas ng buong pwersa sa screen na pumapagitan sa kanila ng pari.

Bahagyang napalundag sa kanyang kinauupuan ang pari sa lakas niyon. Namumuo na rin ang malamig na pawis sa kanyang noo. Ang mga kamay niya ay nanginginig sa takot din.

"H-hindi ka dapat nagsasalita nang ganyan sa loob ng simbahan!" ani ng pari gamit ang pilit na mala-awtoridad na boses.

"At hindi rin dapat nagsisilbi ang demonyong tulad mo rito!" ganti ng lalaki.

"Confess, Father. This will be your last chance. Ano ang kasalanan mo sampung taon na ang nakakaraan?" habol pang wika nito.

"W-wala akong kasalanan!" nagmamatigas na giit parin ng pari.

Muling binalot nang nakakapanindig-balahibong halakhak ng lalaki ang loob ng confessional booth.

"I shall see you in hell then," bulong nito bago itinutok ang baril sa screen na hindi naman kita ng pari.

Si Father Piccolo ay napaatras sa pader ng confessional booth, dilat ang mga mata at binutas ng bala ang noo nang tahimik na pumutok ang baril ng lalaki sa kabilang bahagi niya.

Wala niisa sa mga kakaonting bumibisita sa oras na iyon sa simbahan ang nakapansin sa nangyari sa pari. Wala rin silang narinig ni kahit ano.

"And that is my sin," bulong ng lalaki saka maingat na isinilid ang baril sa maliit niyang sling bag bago lumabas ng confessional booth.

                 • • • SNOW • • •

"RUM,  MAMAYA NA 'yan. Si Queen ang nakatokang maghugas ngayon," sabi ko.

Hinuhugasan niya iyong kalderong pinaglutuan niya. Nakahanda na din ang hapag kaya mas mabuti pa sigurong kumain na kami.

Rum looked at me for a while and smiled.

"Uunahin ko na lang 'to para hindi na siya mahirapan mamaya," aniya at nagpatuloy na.

Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit laging may parte sa aking natitigilan at namamangha sa kanya.

Napabaling kaming pareho ni Rum kay Tutti na dumaan sa harapan ng kitchen island namin buhat-buhat ang isang bangkito.

Pansin kong nangunot ang noo ni Rum habang patuloy itong pinapanood.

Inilapag ni Tutti ang bangkito sa ilalim at tapat ng cupboard kung saan may label na condiments.

Nang tumungtong siya doon sa bangkito, binuksan ang cupboard at may kung anong pilit na inaabot ay napasinghap si Rum.

"Tutti, ano na namang gagawin mo? Sinabihan na nga kitang 'wag ilagay d'yan ang tasa mo kasi nahihirapan kang abutin, tapos ngayon," he sighed to finish his statement.

He turned on the faucet, washed his hands and quickly wiped them on his apron.

Dali-dali niyang nilapitan si Tutti na hindi man lang siya sinagot dahil abala sa pag-abot ng gusto nitong kunin.

Pinanood ko silang dalawa. Hawak ni Rum ang maliit na beywang ni Tutti upang alalayan ito. Tutti stopped from whatever she's doing and slightly turned to Rum who still towered over her despite her being on top of the footstool.

"Gusto kong magtimpla ng gatas," ani Tutti.

Napabuntong-hininga si Rum saka inabot ang lalagyan ng gatas. Inalalayan niya muna pababa si Tutti bago niya ibinigay iyon sa kanya.

"Mercí!" Tutti happily exclaimed and walked away, hugging the jar of powdered milk and I noticed that Rum was looking intently at her while shaking his head smilingly.

Lumapit si Tutti sa kabilang kitchen island at nagtimpla ng gatas. Bumalik na din si Rum sa paghuhugas.

"DON'T YOU THINK it's too much?" si Queen.

"What?" Tutti asked nonchalantly.

"We're having soup for dinner and yet you're still drinking milk," Queen explained.

Before Tutti could even retaliate, Rum immediately hushed the two of them.

"Tama na 'yan. Nasa hapag tayo ngayon. Dean, ikaw na magdasal."

Dean who's already holding his spoon and fork silently hissed at Rum's request but obliged still.

"In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."

All of us made the sign of the cross.

"Lord, maraming salamat Po sa pagkain namin ngayon. Amen."

And he ended it just like that, took his utensils by the hands and scooped from the monggo soup.

Rum just let it slip and then we ate peacefully.

                 • • • QUEEN • • •

TUTTI, SNOW, AND I are sitting together on one of the benches of the student's park when Izma Ayala and her other two minions with faces a makeup guru would have mistaken for geishas approached us.

"Hoy, malantod!" Izma called as she forcibly poked Snow's cheek with her index finger, making the latter slightly faced the other side.

Napatayo si Tutti sa inuupuan niya at mabilis na hinawi ang daliri ng gaga. Nainis din ako sa nasaksihan.

I love to see Snow cry or have a hard time only if it was because of me or Dean and no one other than us.

"Kung makaturo ka 'kala mo binili mo na kaluluwa ni Snow, ah!" bulyaw ni Tutti.

Izma pointed Tutti who remained annoyed at what she did to Snow.

"'Wag kang makialam ditong maliit ka!" anas niya.

"Inaano ka ba ni Snow?"

"The nose of Julius is broke because of Dean's punch and it's because of this betch!"

Tawang-tawa si Tutti sa paghi-histerikal ni Izma na may inis na pasipa pa ng kanang paa sa lupa. Napalingon sa kanya pati ang mga kasama, mukhang nahihiya rin ang mga ito sa kabobohang lumalabas sa bibig niya.

Sapo-sapo parin ni Tutti ang tiyan niya sa kakatawa at naningkit lalo ang mga mata niya.

I suddenly found myself laughing too.

Paano nakatungtong sa college 'tong bobang 'to?

"Sinong nagsabi?" panunuya naman ni Tutti sabay pigil sa sariling matawa ulit. Mukhang excited si Instik sa susunod na maririnig.

"Op kors, my Julius!"

"Okay, betch," Tutti shrugged her shoulders and imitated Izma's way of saying the word bitch.

I chuckled. Maging si Snow na nakabawi ay napahagikhik na rin.

"Let's go, girls. Let's not waste our time over these pitiful creatures," I stated and began fixing my things.

The other two followed by picking up their things on the table too.

"Queen, 'wag ka nang makisali dito if you don't want to be included in our hate list," said Nadia.

I arched my left brow at that. I looked at her. Nakaharang siya sa daraanan namin.

"The hell I care about your hate list. Just move aside because you're too poor to own the way and stop bugging me with your stupid presence, cheap fashion sense and uneven brows," I answered and I heard Tutti's little chuckles on the side.

The three clowns looked incredulously at me.

I'm just stating facts here.

Izma broke the silence by exclaiming, "I'm not chip!"

Tutti laughed heartily once again.

Gosh, she's a hopeless case.

"Excuse me, the one you're referring to as cheap is just an Alexander McQueen dress that's worth a hundred and thousand US dollars!" Nadia argued also.

I crossed my arms, my left brow still on arch as I ran my gaze all over her. Then, I smirked.

"Honey, I'm not referring about your clothes. I'm referring about you," I retaliated and began walking passed them.

Snow immediately followed me.

"Tutti, halika na," she called the tiny Chinese doll.

I slightly turned, only to find her in front of those three clowns.

"You know what, my clothes are inexpensive and simple but I never heard of Queen mentioned about my fashion sense being cheap. Now, I understand why. Fashion isn't about clothes, it's about people. If you are someone who has cheap personality and radiates cheap energy, that reflects to your clothes," said Tutti and tapped Nadia's shoulder, pilit na inabot I mean.

Inis na hinawi naman iyon ng huli. Si Ingrid at Izma ay natuod at natahimik sa mga pwesto nila.

I suddenly felt proud of her.

"Let's go, Tutti. They still have circus shows to attend to!" Those clowns.

Tutti laughed at my remark and jogged her way towards us. 

Rum called me to inform us that him and Dean will not be able to come home with us because Yorme asked them to accompany him to the shop where we usually buy coffins. Tuturuan daw sila nitong mamili ng mga kabaong at ipapakilala rin sila sa may-ari ng shop.

"Should we hail a cab now?" pasimpleng bulong ni Snow kay Tutti nang silipin ko sila habang nasa kabilang linya parin si Ate Anna.

Nahuli ni Tutti ang mga mata ko kaya sinadya niyang ngumisi nang mapang-asar sa akin.

I grimaced and looked away. Nakakainis talaga kapag ngumingisi siya nang ganyan at nawawala ang mga mata. Para kasi 'yong sensyales ng masama niyang plano.

"Wala tayong pera, Snow. Isa pa, sigurado akong wala ring dala ang reyna. Puro credit card lang laman ng pitaka niya," ani Tutti.

That irks me because it's true.

Ate Anna sincerely apologized for not being able to fetch and drop us by the Overlook today.

I hate it.

I SUBMITTED TO their idea. I can't do anything although I really don't like it.

Pinara ni Tutti ang jeep na dumaan sa harap namin. Naunang pumasok si Snow tapos pinasunod naman ako ni Tutti at saka siya ang huling pumasok.

This is my first time, first time, riding a goddamn jeepney that's why I don't understand why men keep staring at me.

I hugged my Hermes handbag tighter and closer to my chest. The young man sitting in front of me blushed and looked away.

I am squeezed in between Snow and Tutti so those stares should have been noticeable but Snow just keep biting her lower lip and Tutti's too invested with her earphones as she sang along to the songs of the Eraserheads

"Queen, relax. May aircon 'yong van," Tutti remarked.

I just rolled my eyes but continued fanning myself with my right hand.

Gabi na pero ang init parin. Why's that Philippines?

Kasalukuyan kaming nakapila at naghihintay sa van papunta at daraan sa Overlook.

Nakakainis dahil ang daming nakapila. Katunayan, nakatayo na kami ngayong tatlo sa pila at hindi na nakasama sa mga pasaherong naghihintay din na nakaupo sa mga benches dahil sa dami namin.

Kumunot ang noo ko't nairita dahil panay ang silip ni Snow sa likuran ni Tutti. Kagaya ng pwesto namin sa jeep kanina ang pwesto namin ngayon. Nauuna sa pila si Snow, nasa gitna ako at sa likuran naman si Tutti.

Nang 'di na makatiis ay umalis si Snow sa pwesto niya at nilapitan ang matandang kubang may maraming dala at kasamang bata sa likuran ni Tutti na pumipila.

"Lola, doon na po kayo. Palit po tayo ng pwesto para mauna kayo," si Snow.

Tumango ang matanda at ngumiti saka hinila ang bata papunta sa pwesto ni Snow kanina.

"Maraming salamat, hija. Maraming salamat sa inyo," wika ng matanda.

"Walang anuman po," magalang na sagot ni Snow.

Pinauna ni Tutti si Snow dahil gusto niya sa likuran namin. Nakipagpalit din ako kay Snow kaya bumalik ulit sa dati ang pwesto naming tatlo.

Tahimik kong pinagmasdan si Snow. She's really pretty. Mala-gatas ang balat at namumulang pisngi, katamtamang tangkad, maliit na mukha, umaalon at sobrang itim na buhok at mala-pusang mga mata.

She really kind of reminds me of Rum's first love.

Mula sa di mayamang pamilya, maganda, mabait at higit sa lahat nakakainis.

But I hope Dahl's in good place now.

WHEN WE ARRIVED at the Overlook, Snow immediately cooked for us. Nagrequest pa talaga ng chicken adobo ang Instik.

Maya-maya rin ay dumating na sina Rum at Dean kasama sina Yorme at Goliath. Rum invited them over dinner and so, we ate altogether.

After changing into my lavender silk notched collar top and shorts, I went down the lobby. I rolled my eyes when I caught Tutti dancing on TikTok again.

Aren't you the guy who tried to
Hurt me with the word "goodbye"?
Though it took some time to survive you
I'm better on the other side...

Nakabihis na rin siya ng pantulog. Naka- notch collar top din siya na rose gold silk long sleeves at pajama. Naka-double bun pa ang buhok. Si Snow naman nag-aaral sa may coffee table banda. She's on her usual sleepwear, a yellow spaghetti strap top and white pajama.

Si Rum hinatid sina Yorme at Goliath sa labas. Si Dean naman ay nasa kwarto namin at nanonood sa Netflix.

I threw myself on the couch.

I'm really tired today.

I lifted my right hand and stared at my nails.

Argh! They're awful!

Napabaling ako kay Tutti nang dumaan siya harap ko dala-dala ang cellphone niya. Napakunot ang noo ko nang matantong naghahanap siya ng pwesto.

She decided to settle beside me so she placed her phone on the coffee table and used Snow's pencil case to make it stand and prevent it from falling. Tumayo na siya at naghintay sa kanta saka nagsimulang sumayaw ulit.

Naiirita na ako. Hindi pa ba siya tapos?

I don't need a whisk to fluff it through

Nang tumunog ang 'shing' or 'click', ewan ko sa pandak na Instik ay nag-peace sign siya malapit sa pisngi niya, nagpapacute ang gaga. Sumayaw ulit siya nang tumunog ang kanta.

Why you desire me up every season
Lick off the spatula and keep it squeaky clean, yeah

She stopped dancing when Hades barked at the foot of the third floor. In-off niya ang phone at nagkatinginan sila ni Snow.

Snow looks scared and nervous. Does this happened before?

Tumango si Tutti at maglalakad na sana nang magtanong ako, "Where are you going?"

"Mukhang may lalabas na namang kaluluwa. Mag-eexpire na," she replied.

I stiffened. Seriously?

"I think Hades can sense when clients are nearing their expiration dates," paliwanag ni Snow sabay nahihiyang ngiti sa akin.

I nodded and said, "I'll join you."

Sinamahan ko silang dalawa paakyat ng third floor. Nauna na rin si Hades sa amin. He stopped at one door and barked.

I smirked when I caught Snow holding Tutti by the shoulder while we came closer to the door. She's scared, obviously.

Napalunok pa siya nang nasa tapat na kami ng pinto. I stepped aback when the door slowly creaked ajar.

Nahuli ko pa si Instik na ngumisi nang mapang-asar habang patagilid na nakatingin sa akin, nanliliit na naman ang mga mata.

I rolled my eyes. I ridiculed Snow for being a scaredy cat and it's Tutti's turn to throw the mock back to me.

May mga hamog na lumalabas mula sa kwarto na iyon. I nearly had a heart attack when the door slammed open. A plump man dressed in a priest clothing emerged from the dark and the fogs. He's pale, he has very dark circles under his eyes and he has a bullet whole at the center of his forehead.

What kind of beast is he?

                 • • • TUTTI • • •

THE CLIENT INTRODUCED himself as Father Piccolo Alegri. He was shot dead inside the confessional booth one afternoon and four months ago.

He also said that he was a walker. A special type of zombie.

"Do you know where your remains could possibly be, Father?" Rum asked politely.

He shook his head but he explained it.

"Ang mga kagaya kong walker ay namumuhay nang normal na parang totoong tao kung kami ay buhay pa pero sa tuwing namamatay kami ay naglalaho ang aming mga katawan sa mundong ito at napupunta bigla sa lugar na hindi ko mawari kung saan. Iyan ang sabi ng aking ina noon. May nakalaan daw na mundo para sa aming mga walkers sa ibang dimensyon. Marahil ay naroroon iyon ngayon."

Ibig sabihin buhay na zombie parin ang remains niya?

"Alam niyo po ba kung paano namin ito mahahanap?" tanong ni Rum.

He explained it to Father Piccolo awhile ago that remains are very important during funerals and for souls to move on to the afterlife.

The plump priest shook his head sadly.

"Sa pagkakaalam ko ay walkers pa lamang ang nakakarating doon."

"'Wag po kayong mag-alala at tutulungan po namin kayong hanapin iyon sa abot ng aming makakaya," Rum smiled.

"Maraming salamat, hijo. Pagpalain nawa kayo ng Diyos sa inyong kabutihan," saad naman ng pari.

"Bakit po kayo pinatay? I mean, do you have any idea why?" I asked while uncrossing my arms and sitting properly on the couch.

Nahuli ko ang pamimilog ng mga mata niya sa gulat pero kaagad din naman siyang umiling.

"Wala akong maisip na kahit ano."

"Wala siyang nabanggit na kahit ano sa inyo sa loob ng confessional booth?" I pushed.

"M-may mga sinabi siyang h-hindi ko maintindihan at alam."

I am being cognizant of his choice and application of words. I am also keen on the synchronicity of what he says and his body language.

He's sweating coldly. I observed. Mabilis niyang pinunasan iyon.

"Gaya nang ano po?"

Napalunok siya. I was silently tapping my right foot as I waited for his response.

Moments later, I figured out he wouldn't answer it so I changed the topic at hand.

"We have a secret service here. Do you want us to catch your killer?" I asked smilingly.

Napatingin silang lahat sa akin sa sinabi ko. Rum's lips were pursed into a grim line. He probably has a clue on what I was trying to do and he wasn't pleased with it.

"You can do that?" manghang tanong ng pari na maagap kong tinanguan.

"Of course. Ano po ang gusto niyong gawin namin sa kanya kapag nahuli na naman siya?"

I silently smirked when I caught the anger he was trying so hard to hide.

"I want him to perform the act of contrition for killing me."

I STOOD BESIDE Rum who was sitting and busy with his paper works inside his office. He went here after he ushered the priest back to his room. Our other three friends were in the girls' room doing their respective stuffs. Si Dean madalas na rin doon. Baka maging babae na rin 'yon.

"Bakit mo ginawa 'yon?" he asked without looking at me.

"Just like Cara, I wanna know what good souls do to avenge themselves for their deaths," I shrugged.

"You're trying to provoke him," he disclosed my real intention.

"I guess I just don't like him," I shrugged.

"Why?"

"May tinatago siya," I confessed my assessment.

I was in awe as I watched him do his works. His right and left hands are writing on different sheets of paper simultaneously. He was writing on the right while signing some documents using the left. He does both really well.

Rum's an ambidextrous, a truly gifted one at that.

Kumuha ako ng bakanteng bond paper at inilahad iyon sa kanya.

I smiled toothily when he looked at me through his peripherals.

"Pa-autograph," I kidded and he just shook his head.

Akala ko ay hindi na niya papatulan ang kalokohan ko kaya nagulat ako nang kunin niya iyon.

Panay ang silip ko sa sinusulat niya roon pero tinatago niya sa akin iyon. He folded the paper when he's done and gave it to me.

Kinuha ko iyon at excited na binuksan.

Napasimangot ako dahil sa isinulat niya roon.

Matulog ka na.

I rolled my eyes and crumpled the paper. I looked at him but he went on with his works.

Hindi na ako nagpaalam at nagmartsa na papunta sa pinto. Pinihit ko pabukas ang seradula ng pinto at lumabas na.

"Doll."

Nahinto ako sa pagsasara sana ng pinto nang tawagin niya ako.

He looked at me and smiled gently.

"Sweet dreams."

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