They crept around the temporary structure into the heart of the fair once more. It wasn't just the merry-go-round that was on and being noisy now; several of the other attractions were blaring music over their crackling sound systems and whirring about in motion. The tea-cups were spinning and the pirate boat was swinging back and forth – both of which looked sinister without any passengers riding.

"At least we'll be harder to find with this commotion going on," Harry conceded, but he had to say it was unnerving. "Why do you think they would turn on all these rides?"

Draco shrugged. "Fletcher said they wanted to play," he said. "So maybe they're playing. I'm more worried as to how they were able to turn them on – just how clever are these things?"

"And how dangerous?" Harry added as they hovered by the building, which from the front proclaimed to be a "House of Wonders!" It was covered in lots of psychedelic colours, and Harry was left to assume it was some sort of funhouse.

"Fletcher said they swarmed him," Draco said. "If they're strong I guess that might be a concern if they accidently cuddle you to death, but surely a robust enough repelling charm would-"

He broke off in the blink of an eye, slashing his wand through the air in a shower of red sparks. It wasn't quite fast enough though. A bear the size of the first one they had seen dropped from the roof of the funhouse, landing on Harry as he jerked around. "You're my best friend, ya-huk!" it cried. Between its little paws was clutched a large kitchen knife, and it sliced through Harry's coat and into his arm before Draco's spell sent it flying into a nearby sweet stand.

Harry gasped in pain, but Draco had already launched himself at him, dragging him into the light of the funhouse to see the damage. "Harry, are you alright?" he hissed as the blood poured down his sleeve.

Harry shook his head. "It's fine," he grunted, despite the blood. "Just a flesh wound."

It was stinging, but soothed immediately once Draco fired off a quick Episkey for the cut and Reparo for the coat and shirt. "Sodding hell Harry, be careful!" Draco berated, rubbing his arm as if that would help. His eyes were imploring. "I'm not going to lose you to a psychotic stuffed toy, alright?"

Harry was a little bit taken aback by the ferocity of his words, and if the situation had been slightly less serious (or ridiculous depending on how you looked at it) he might have allowed his heart to flutter a little.

As it was, they barely had a second to recover before chaos descended again.

Their warning came in the form of a bone-trembling roar, and the two Aurors took a moment to look slowly around in horror. "PLAY! WITH! ME!" something howled, before the sweet stand exploded into splinters, and from it emerged a teddy bear just like the others with a red bow-tie and "I WUV YOU!" written on its tummy.

Except this bear was ten foot tall, the ground trembling as it barrelled through the remnants of the stand, lollypops and fudge flying everywhere, its fur bristling as it roared again, flexing its huge teddy arms. A hoard of minion bears scrambled through the debris in its wake, all charging towards where Harry and Draco were backing up in alarm.

"Oh," said Draco pleasantly. "Good."

"RUN!" Harry yelled, grabbing his arm and going the only direction they had available to them. Into the funhouse.

"Potter this is a dead end!" Draco cried as they sprinted through the entrance.

Harry shook his head. "No we can get out of one of those fire escapes and hopefully lose them..."

His voice died in his throat though as they rounded the corner of the corridor and were met with a circular tube that he guessed they were supposed to walk through, but it was spinning at quite an alarming rate.

"You idiot!" Draco moaned. "Have you even ever been in a funhouse before!"

Have you? Harry wanted to demand. Funhouses didn't seem the domain of a respectable pureblood like Malfoy, but his mind immediately jumped to Draco's unknown date – had some handsome bloke encouraged him into a House of Wonders like this, with all its cheap thrills and dark corners to hold hands and kiss softly and-

The huge bear roared again, snapping him from his ridiculous reverie and bringing him back to his senses. He guessed the rest of the smaller ones were scrabbling up the steps to chase them into the House of Wonders, and he really didn't have time to get jealous over a hypothetical boyfriend. "I got through the bloody Triwizard Tournament," he growled, launching himself at the spinning tube. "I can make it through some Muggle funhouse."

His words might have had more impact if the tunnel hadn't upended him the moment he set foot on it, and had him sprawling on his back.

"Mobilicorpus!" Draco shouted, picking Harry up like a rag doll and flicking him to the end of the tunnel. As soon as Harry was clear (albeit embarrassed) and on his feet, he spun and cast the same spell on Draco, but the bears were already upon him, and he brought several with him as they clung to his legs, despite his best efforts to kick them off. A couple of dozen more bears were jumping onto the rotating tunnel tube, but their lightness seemed to work in their favour as they scampered towards Harry.

"Let's play a game, ya-huk!"

"Be my friend, ya-huk!"

"I don't like you anymore, ya-huk!" chuckled Harry's knife-wielding friend, momentarily getting his attention.

"That's not very nice," he shouted back as he and Draco blasted off the teddies clinging to his jeans like limpets. "Protego Totalum!" he cast, setting up a shield at the end of the tunnel, and immediately the bears started piling up against the invisible barrier. He didn't think it would last long though, as the toys seemed to have some extra magical punch to them that deflected spell work. He might have been impressed with Mundungus if he wasn't so furious.

They dashed around the next corner, leaving the bears to their platitudes and the roar and smashes of the big one making its way into the funhouse one way or another. It wasn't long before they came across more obstacles, and although Harry felt ludicrous being chased through them by teddy bears, they weren't all that bad. He and Draco didn't have much trouble traversing an uneven walkway, and even though it was a tight fit they made it down the cylindrical slide as well.

"Point me," Harry whispered to his wand, concentrating on the fire exit that they had taken refuge outside by when Dung had ditched them. "This way," he said, following the direction the wand was telling him, glad that for now the teddies seemed not to be right on their heels.

"So what do you think," Draco began, before they both jumped out of their skins as sudden jets of cold air shot out of the floor where they were walking. "Ahem," Draco said, straightening his collar and trying to hide his mortification at yelping like a puppy. Harry just laughed.

"Think what?" he asked as they carried on through the corridor of air jets. "That the uber-sized bear is the Alpha?"

"Makes sense," said Draco with a nod, and as if on cue, the beast's roar echoed through the funhouse again. "He's the only one we've seen like that so far, and he's actually reasonably scary."

"Aww," Harry teased, grinning inappropriately back at his partner. "Is wittle Dwaco afwaid of the mean teddy bear!"

"Shut it Potter," Draco grumbled.

"No, okay," Harry agreed. "I think that's a good bet, he is the most intimidating-"

"That's just another way of saying scary," Draco interrupted in a sing-song voice. Harry ignored him.

"And there's only one of him that we've seen so far. Dung said we'd know the Alpha when we saw it, so-"

The flimsy panel above their heads came crashing down with a shower of mini-bears, and although they both shot up shield charms several of the teddies were able to grab a hold of their clothes and hair. "I wuv you, ya-huk!" the one yanking at Harry's ear-lobe squeaked. "Come play with me, ya-huk!" chirped another.

"These things are getting really bloody annoying!" Draco yelled, spinning and smacking at them as Harry pulled them from his body as fast as he could. He stamped on one, but all that did was end up hurting his foot and making him swear really loudly.

"Deprimo!" he bellowed, sweeping the tiny bears up in a fierce wind and hurtling them back down the corridor. "Come on, let's get out of here!"

Harry wasn't sure the wand was taking them the most direct route, so he cast the spell again and imagined the fire escape, but this time clearly visualising him and Draco smashing directly through the walls if that's what it took. But the wand didn't change its mind, so that's the way they carried on running.

Their next obstacle was a pool of brightly coloured plastic balls that Harry assumed they were supposed to wade through, but he was very much over this funhouse. "Sod that, levitate me Malfoy?"

His partner nodded and cast the spell again, drifting Harry across to the other side. Or at least, halfway across the other side, as at that point another panel crashed open, this time from the wall to Draco's left, and he was faced with the knife bear and half a dozen friends, who had somehow got their paws on a selection of glass bottles. Some of which were broken.

"Draco!" Harry yelled as he suddenly dropped into the pit, the impact flinging his wand from his hand. "No!" he cried as he scrambled around to get his footing against the thousands of plastic balls, shoving them back to try and find his wand. "No, no, no not now!"

Draco was busy blasting back the bears swiping at him with their weapons. He tried setting them on fire, vanishing them, even slicing them with the Sectumsempra curse, but Dung's endurance spells held and the magic just bounced off, narrowly missing Draco at one point.

"This is fun, ya-huk!" cried one of the ones with the bottles who were all a size down to the knife one. "Time to play, ya-huk!"

"No time to play, ya-huk!" the knife one argued in the same goofy voice. That one obviously hadn't inherited the same chirpy personality as the others.

Luck, for once, was on Harry's side as he felt his fingers brush against wood, and he snatched up his wayward wand. "Wingardium Leviosa!" he bellowed, aiming at the grumpy bear, ploughing his way back through the balls towards Draco. "Waddiwasi!" The bear and his knife launched through the air, and Draco was able to kick at the slightly smaller ones with the bottles.

"Go the other way!" Draco scolded at Harry. "I'm fine, we need to get out of here!" With an angry flick of his wand he sent Harry flying again, landing him painfully on the other side of the pool along with a dozen or so balls that bounced away noisily.

"Arse," Harry mumbled.

Draco had tried numerous spells on the bears to little effect. He'd tried freezing them and ripping them – one of them was even dancing after a Tarantallegra charm, but despite its jiggling feet it was still trying to stab at Draco's ankles. Harry was on his feet again and was just about to try washing them away with water (if his Aguamenti would even reach that far across the ball pit) when Draco tired once last spell.

"Fulgurutus!" he yelled, striking the teddies with violent forks of lightning from his wand, and just for a moment, they all staggered to a halt in shock, rippling with electricity.

It was all Harry needed. "Mobilicorpus!" he shouted and Draco was plucked away from the bears to woozy cries of "I want to play, ya-huk!" and "Come back here and fight like a man, ya-huk!" Harry landed him with slightly more grace than Draco had afforded him, and looked his partner over. He hoped they would get a moment's respite after Draco's semi-successful spell, and with having the ball pit between them that the little bears would surely find harder to get through than fully grown men.

"You alright?" he asked. Getting the odd thrashing was always part of the job, but Harry always hated seeing Draco hurt. His lip was bleeding, his eye bruised and his clothes ripped in several places, so Harry aimed a few healing spells at him, but neither of them were as good as a Healer, and they were both starting to look quite banged up.

"I'm pissed off," Draco said, wiping some more of the blood away from his chin. "We need to get out of this place and find that Alpha. I would quite like to stop fighting teddy bears right about now."

"Here, here," Harry said.

The wand compass took them round another corner, and Harry groaned as they were presented with a hall of mirrors. "Are you kidding me," he snapped incredulously, but Draco tugged his sleeve.

"Look," he said, the first smile on his face since they'd entered Battersea Park. He led Harry slightly further away from the mirrors, and there, at last, was their fire exit.

"Oh thank Godric," he said. "Let's go."

"Hang on," said Draco, looking back towards the mirrors. "It's a shame we couldn't distract them?" He stood thoughtfully for a moment. "What about a doppelganger charm? If we could leave one amongst those mirrors it might at least confuse some of them?"

Harry grinned. "Brilliant," he breathed. "We probably only have time to perform the spell once, you're always better at it, do you want to do me?"

Belatedly, Harry thought he maybe could have phrased his request a little better. Draco though didn't seem to notice. "Be my pleasure," he said with a smile, and turned Harry around by the shoulders so they were facing each other. A familiar gesture – they were always manhandling each other on missions, it was a necessity – but Harry still felt a bit of warmth creep up his neck.

The charm involved a complicated incantation and several different motions that copied the image of a thing or person. It wasn't like a Gemino Curse where the object was actually duplicated, it just gave a reasonably solid echo of the subject, and in the case of living things, it could even walk around to a certain extent, if you were good enough.

It was a favourite of Draco's when they were on missions to confuse their targets, and Harry waited patiently as he performed the magic. After a tense minute or two, another version of Harry shimmered into view, blinking expectantly at Draco who released a deep breath. "Excellent," he said, nodding at the duplicate. "Go and stand in those mirrors, only a few turns in so you can still be seen."

The doppelganger nodded once, then walked off to do as it was told. "Good," Harry said. "Creepy, but, good."

Him and Draco darted for the door and burst back out into the night which had properly set by now. The lights from the rides gave them enough to see by, and the grating music and dings and whistles from the various attractions gave them a good amount cover for banging the door open and closed, and their panting as they ran across the grass.

"We need to find the big one," Harry said. "Should we set a trap, try and bait it?"

They rounded the corner of the funhouse for the second time, and realised finding the oversized bear was not going to be their problem. It had obviously given up trying to get inside the House of Wonders after Harry and Draco, and had instead set about smashing the other rides and shops around it in frustration. It was now sat amongst its destruction, looking disgruntled with a dozen or two tiny bears hoping about it like kittens would their mother. The big bear growled and snarled at the little ones occasionally, but it didn't seem like its heart was really in it.

"Okay," Draco whispered as they hovered by the corner of the funhouse, peeking out so they could just keep an eye on the mega bear and its small followers. "So you were saying about a trap?"

Harry shook his head. "Yeah, but, we need to think about how to stop it first, once and for all. Nothing's really worked so far?"

Draco frowned. "Well, the lightning made them stumble at least," he said, thinking out loud, and Harry nodded.

"It did, didn't it?" he said, then began looking around at the attractions nearby that hadn't been demolished. His eyes lit on the bumper car ring, and he felt his eyebrows reach up under his hair. "I think," he said slowly. "I have a plan."

"Am I going to like it?" asked Draco.

"Probably not," Harry admitted with a grin.

Draco sighed. "What else is new?" he sighed. "Come on then."

They went around the debris and managed to avoid being spotted at least for the time being, and within a minute they were in the safety of the bumper car ride control booth. "Potter," Draco hissed. "Why are we in here?"

"You been on the dodgems before?" he asked, assessing the control panel and worrying his lip between his teeth. He was pretty certain he could make out what to do.

Draco shook his head. "Not a Muggle one," he said, concentrating on looking out into the night for any bears sneaking up on them; it wouldn't do to get caught in this small glass box unawares.

Harry pointed into the ring, where at least two dozen small carts sat. They had thick rubber bands around their bases, and antenna that stretched up to reach the roof overhead. The sides of the rink were all open, with only slim pillars keeping the ceiling up. "You said the lightning spell stopped them, even if just for a moment?" Harry asked. He'd seen it himself, but he just wanted to double check the facts.

Draco nodded. "It seemed to be the only thing I used that had even the slightest effect."

"So," Harry said hurriedly. He knew the bears wouldn't let them be for too long, and he didn't want to waste time on a lengthy explanation. "These cars run on electricity. They get their power down those poles that skim the electricity grid in the ceiling, carrying the current into the back of the cars and making them move." Harry was suddenly very grateful that, sometimes, Hermione lectured them on the way Muggle things worked, whether he and Ron were interested or not. "I think we can harness that electricity, and give the bears a much bigger jolt than you did. It might be enough to stop them, or more specifically, the Alpha, for good.

"And then the rest of them would die?" Draco said eagerly, a glint in his eye.

Harry hummed, unsure. "Die? Deactivate?" That sounded less sinister, they weren't really alive after all, and even though they were obviously quite dangerous, he didn't feel so good about planning a massacre. A mass shutdown sounded better. "I hope so?" he said.

"How?"

Harry pointed at the console. "I reckon we can use the lightning spell through this interface, and overload the ride, electrocuting anything that's in contact with the ring. We'd be safe in the booth, it's insulated."

Draco nodded and looked over the ring shrewdly. "How are we going to get them onto the electric bit?"

Harry looked over to where they'd left the mega-bear near the funhouse, and then back to the dodgem rink. "Er, turn it on?"

Draco sighed. "There are lots of things on now, I don't think they're attracted to bright lights and noise anymore." He tapped his wand on his thigh, and then sighed even heavier. "I think there's only one thing they're really interested in."

Harry frowned, then Draco's meaning dawned on him. "No," he said.

"Look," Draco protested. "I don't know about Muggle stuff, you need to do that bit."

"No," Harry growled. "I was never suggesting putting you out as bait."

"Well," said Draco, straightening his coat. "I am."

"But," Harry spluttered. It had definitely not been part of his agenda for the evening to electrify his potential date. "You'll get hit by the surge too, it could kill you!"

Draco shook his head. "You give me a signal or something," he said, remarkably calm about the whole thing. But that was Draco, once he'd made up his mind on a matter, he was one stubborn son of a bitch. "And I'll Apparate away."

Harry chewed his lip some more. "Are you sure?"

"It's the only way," said Draco matter-of-factly. "And we better hurry because I'm pretty certain I can see our little friends scampering in the shadows over there."

Harry's gaze followed where Draco indicated, and he had to agree there was definitely movement going on there. "Okay," he said. "Go, stay safe, and remember it won't matter unless we get the giant one, so try and get him fully inside the ring."

"Yeah," Draco said, rolling his eyes. "Because I'd forgotten that in the two minutes since we came up with the plan." Harry made to swat his head, but Draco ducked out of the way with a grin and opened the door to the booth.

"Good luck," Harry hissed.

"Don't need it," Draco hissed back petulantly, clicking the door shut again quietly, and dashing over into the rink.

Harry took a deep breath, then turned the key he hoped would bring the attraction to life. His heart leaped as the machinery whirred into action, lighting up the small arena and all the cars, filling the air with eighties pop music. "You spin me right round baby, right round like a record baby, right round round round!" the male voice sang over the electro beat.

Draco turned and looked at Harry, pointing up to the sound system in disgust. Harry cocked his eyebrow in disbelief. "It was the eighties," he grumbled. "Don't judge."

Draco was quickly back on mission though, hopping into one of the little cars and casting a protection charm around it. "Okay," Harry murmured to himself. "Okay, we can do this."

"HEY!" Draco bellowed over to the Alpha and its cluster of smaller bears. From the looks of it, a number of them had come out of the funhouse and rejoined the pack. "OVER HERE YOU MORONS!"

Harry heard the giant one roar even through the glass and almost immediately the collection of different sized bears started converging on Draco in the middle of the ring, and not just from outside the funhouse. Little shapes started waddling and scampering over from all four sizes, arms outstretched eagerly under the swirling, brightly coloured lights of the bumper cars and the nearby attractions.

They were no doubt spouting off their usual lines about love and hugs and playtime ("Ya-huk!") But Harry thankfully couldn't hear any of that over the sound of the pop song and the protection of the booth. He could see and hear the massive bear, but it didn't seem all that concerned about moving very fast. "BE! MY! FRIEND!" the beast roared, stomping slowly over to the dodgems, but the smaller ones were all getting there much quicker.

"I, I, I, I," the song echoed, and Draco grimaced as he looked up at the speakers in disgruntlement again. "I get to be your friend now baby. And I, I, I, I – would like to move in just a little bit closer. (Just a little bit closer.)"

"Come on, come on," Harry muttered anxiously, his wand in his hand and hovering over the console in anticipation. He was starting to think maybe these lyrics were a little bit too apt for him, and he irrationally hoped Draco was too appalled by the electro beat to fully pay attention to them. He was still very unhappy about Draco putting himself out as bait, and whispered a plea to whoever was watching over them that he wouldn't be hurt.

His shield was holding as the first few teddies started bouncing off the protected car, and Harry could see him reinforcing it every ten seconds or so. But the bears weren't giving up that easily, and as Draco had pointed out previously, were awfully quick learners.

"Come play with me, ya-huk!" one of the child-sized ones called out, as it clumsily climbed onto one of the cars. Of all the things these bears were, dexterous was not one of them. But that didn't stop this bear finally sitting itself the right way in the chair, and then pressing its fat, furry feet against the pedal.

The dodgem rocketed forwards and slammed into Draco's car. He hadn't been expecting it, and was almost vaulted from the safety of his cart and the shield charm. "Draco!" Harry called out, but he managed to grab the pole that conducted the electricity and steady himself. The other bears though had caught onto their fellow's idea, and were scampering into nearby cars – even the smaller ones, who were teaming up to work the pedals and the steering wheels together.

"All I know is that to me, you look like you're lots of fun," the song continued cheerfully on. "Open up your loving arms, watch out here I come!"

"Har-ry!" Draco yelled out to him as he eyed up the dozen or so cars that were now starting to move around him. "Hurry!"

But Harry couldn't do anything, he had to wait as the large bear stomped its way over the grass, its little loyal followers bouncing around at its feet as it roared into the night once more. "Come on!" Harry couldn't help but yell at it, but all that did was get a number of smaller bears banging on the glass windows of his small booth space. "Hurry up you big lout!"

The mega-bear growled and thrashed its head about, but it did finally reach the edge of the ring, stopping to sling its leg over the barrier to where Draco was fending off several rambunctious bumper cars, repeatedly slamming into him. The knife bear watched on from the safety of the grass as the giant bear straddled the barrier, but unlike the others it came no further.

"Go, go, GO!" Harry urged, ignoring the knife bear now the brute was finally swinging its other leg over, getting both feet into the arena. "DRACO!" he yelled, waving his arms. "Get out of there!"

Draco looked only too happy to oblige, and turned where he stood on the seat to Apparate to safety.

Except nothing happened.

He looked up at Harry in horror, and tried again but he remained where he stood.

"Dung!" Harry screamed at him, suddenly realising, even though Draco probably couldn't hear him. "The wards must be stopping you!"

"You spin me right round baby, right round like a record baby, right round round round!"

The massive bear was only a few feet away and the other cars were slamming repeatedly against each other in a big throng with Draco at the centre, and Harry had to cast a spell, any spell, now!

He didn't have any bright ideas, just really stupid ones. So he flung the door of the booth open, smashing a couple of bears away but still immediately finding himself set upon by three others that got through. "Accio Draco!" he screeched, throwing everything he had into snatching Draco from the bumper car through the air towards him.

Draco barely managed a look of shock as he was plucked from the bumper car and launched into the air. The mega-bear snarled and bellowed in fury as Draco zipped past its head, turning as it did to follow him, but Harry didn't see much more as Draco's body slammed into him and they both crashed to the grass. "I told you that was a bad idea!" he cried at his partner, but Draco was already scrambling to his feet and blasting the small bears away from them with his lightning.

"No time Harry, we have to do this NOW!"

Harry jumped up before the electrified bears at their feet regained their senses, and pointed his wand at the console just as Draco was doing. "On three," he said quickly, slamming the door shut to insulate them. "One, two, three!"

"FULGURUTUS!" they both shouted in unison, and the entire ring lit up in a blinding ball of lightning. Instinctively, both Aurors ducked down behind the console as the spell ran its course. Harry tired not to feel bad as the bears screamed in unison, but if he had to choose between a hoard of killer teddies and him and Draco, he was going with him and Draco.

All of a sudden, the lightning dissipated and the noise stopped. The pop song even ground to a halt, and all that was left was the faint fizzle and crack of the aftermath of their magic.

Harry and Draco looked at one another, before slowly rising together, surveying the damage they had caused.

The ring was littered with slightly burnt, but most importantly very still teddy bears, and Harry felt a thrill of success rush through his chest. "I think it worked," he whispered, then, much louder. "HA! Take that you little shits!"

His triumph lasted all of two seconds, before several bears threw themselves at the glass windows again, making Harry practically jump back into Draco's arms.

"What the-?" he said, feeling his face fall.

"It didn't work," Draco said. "Dung was wrong, killing the Alpha didn't stop the others."

Harry sagged, too disappointed to realise he was still resting against Draco's side, or even that Draco still had a hold of his shoulders. "Unless," he said, hope rekindling in him and he looked suddenly back at his partner.

"Unless what?"

Harry grinned. "Unless that wasn't the Alpha."

***

AN: Fulgurutus is the only spell I've made up, all the rest come from the books. It comes from fulgur, which is Latin for lightning. The song used is "You Spin Me Round (Like A Record)" by Dead Or Alive.