Journal: Page Ocho

1 August 2009     3:20 pm

Under the seat (car) 

I sat counting trees as my doom neared.

It looked like dad had gotten a whole deal more stubborn since he'd left. He prided himself on being a 'man of his word'. Mom was ecstatic with the change.

Me? Not so much.

For reasons I was unable to comprehend, he was intent on visiting the hospital today. He hadn't been there when I was alive, but suddenly felt the need to be there for me on my deathbed? 

How ironic.

And that wasn't the end of it, oh no, they were going to make sure I woke up.

Sure I'll wake up. Even if I did it wouldn't be me who awoke. It would be the teddy bear.

Who knew, the body of the teddy I was inhabiting could be inhabiting my body!

I wonder if teddy bears even had souls.

And that was how I came to be sitting in the backseat of the car counting trees and trying to shake off the shivers that crawled up my spine every time I thought of Marcus lying on the hospital bed. Cold. Pale. Unmoving.

Dead.

A sudden jerk caused me to tumble onto the floor of the car. Ellie cast a fleeting glance in my direction and then turned back to look out of the window.

I tried to ignore the stab of hurt and told myself she did care. She simply had more important things to do than look after a teddy bear.

"Yeah, important things like staring out the window at trees. Very important." remarked my conscience snarkily.

Before I could respond to the remark, a foot came hurtling out of nowhere and landed on my eye. Unlike the rest of my body, my eye was a sensitive part. And feel it, I did. Oh, I felt it alright.

It hurt more than the time I had bitten down on my tongue. And trust me that had hurt. I'd forsaken an entire pizza to care for my tongue at the time. It hurt that much.

And yet this was much worse because I couldn't move, couldn't blink, couldn't scream. Hell, I couldn't even breathe. 

It wasn't just a case of 'couldn't' but more of 'shouldn't'. I was sure mom and dad would doubt Ellie's sanity if she ever recounted an incident with a moving teddy. That was something I was trying to avoid with all my heart.

Soon enough, I'd crawled under the seat and pulled the book out from between the folds of my fur and begun writing.

That was how the rest of the journey went. 

And as I put my pen down to take a quick nap before my doom, dad mumbles something that gets me thinking.

"I love you."