Sup guys! Here be Jearmin! I love this ship and the idea for this oneshot gave me so many feels as it regurgitated from my brain. Hope you enjoy it my tossers!
Songs:
- 'King' by Lauren Aquilina
- 'Best Thing' by Anthem Lights

*

Jean stood outside the door, rucksack on his back, the crumpled piece of paper with the room number scribbled on it in his fist.

He sighed, raising his hand and knocking once, waiting for a response. After a few minutes and still no response, he furrowed his brow, checking the paper again.

334, the correct room. Was it the right day? Did he come at the right time?

Just as he was about to knock again, he heard a small voice whisper on the other side.

"Come in."

Jean blinked, before getting his bearings, pressing the handle down and slowly swinging the door open.

He was met with a staunch white hospital room, the curtains hanging limply near the bolted window, the sickly white sheets reflecting the neon lighting, making the room hum with an eerie ethereal glow.

It made Jean shudder, but as he closed the door, his gaze flickered over to the boy in the bed.

The boy was small, almost frail looking, with light, blonde hair that was partially tucked behind his ear.

His eyes were wide and curious, but seemed dull, the fierce blue they were a slightly tarnished shade of azure.

He was slightly staring away from focus at the wall opposite, a small shy smile on his face.

Jean cleared his throat, banking in surprise when the boys head snapped in his direction, his smile widening.

"Um, hi, I'm Jean. From the programme?" Jean muttered, noticing the boys smile twitch down slightly so quickly he almost missed it.

The boy nodded, smiling wide once again.

"Hey Jean, I'm Armin. I'm glad you signed up for the programme, I've been bored out of my mind in here." Armin said with a chuckle, crossing his legs on the bed.

Jean grinned, walking towards the desk chair and plopping down next to Armin, dumping his bag on the desk and rummaging through.

The programme he was on of was an outreach programme, visiting hospitals and patients with no family or visitors.

Jean had been assigned to Armin for the remainder of his stay in hospital, but had no idea of his condition.

That was one of the steps of the programme, learning everything about the person from the person.

Jean pulled out a bag of M&Ms, the crinkling startling Armin slightly, his head turning to face Jean once again. Jean cocked his head, furrowing his brow slightly.

"You're a bit spacey Armin. You ok?" Jean asked, popping a few M&Ms into his mouth. Armin smiled sadly, nodding.

"I got a few things on my mind. It's fine." he mumbled, sitting back in bed until he was resting against the headboard.

Jean shrugged, digging around in the M&M bag for more of the blue ones. He liked them the most.

"What are you eating?" Armin suddenly asked, his turn to cock his head, staring quizzically at Jean.

Jean spluttered, realising how rude he had been, not offering Armin any of the sweets. But then he frowned, looking at the unmissable bright label on the bag.

"Just M&Ms. Sorry I didn't offer any. You want some?" he asked, pointing the bag towards Armin.

Armin giggled, then tensed, slumping slightly, that sad smile still lingering.

"M&Ms are my favourite. Thanks!" he chirped, holding his palm out with a grin. Jean just raised his brow, looking down at Armin's outstretched hand.

"The bags right there dude." he mumbled, frowning. Armin's eyes widened, before a slightly frown flashed over his face.

"Sorry but... Didn't the agency tell you?" he said, voice wavering a little. Jean shook his head, observing Armin carefully, wondering what he needed informing.

Armin sat in silence, his face growing concerned.

"Jean?" he whispered, fearfully.

At the crack in Armin's voice, Jean's heart twinged, and he sighed, standing up and sitting on the bed next to the boy, who jumped slightly, a relieved look on his face.

Jean nudged Armin, coaxing an answer out of him. Armin turned to look at Jean, his glazed eyes staring straight through him.

"I'm blind Jean." Armin said softly, that damn sad smile slipping back onto his face.

It seemed to Jean that that smile was the only thing holding Armin together, the way his lips quivered slightly, his dull eyes glistening.

Jean resisted the urge to gasp, looking at Armin with a confused face. Armin chuckled, and Jean noticed the bitterness laced within.

"Yeah, I know, doesn't look like it does it?" he mumbled, his expression growing dark. Jean gulped, running a hand through his hair.

"Can I... Can I ask how?" he stammered, eyes widening when Armin grinned widely, nodding, his blonde tresses bobbing with each movement.

"Malignant brain tumour pressing down on my optical nerve. Basically." Armin chirped, still smiling. Jean gaped, incredulous.

"How- how are you so happy?" he wondered, in awe of the giggling blonde perched on the hospital bed, blue gown engulfing him.

"Well, doom and gloom won't make me better, so I might as well be positive!" he said, arms flailing slightly as he gesticulated.

Jean nodded thoughtfully, not seeing how Armin could be so happy, then grunted, eyeing the M&Ms again.

He picked up the bag, gently grabbing Armin tiny hand, pouring a handful into his palm.

Armin's face lit up, and he smiled gratefully, placing a few of the colourful candies in his mouth, sighing happily at the taste.

Jean couldn't help but grin too, looking forward to seeing Armin in the future.

~~~

"I had my first chemo today." Armin sighed, leaning against Jean on the bed, closing his eyes.

It had been fours weeks since they first met, and had worked out a system. Jean would sit close to Armin on the bed, sometimes with one arm around the boy if he was particularly tired.

After one occasion where Jean lost his voice, and Armin started to panic, thinking he was alone, this was the best way for Armin to know Jean was still there, listening, even if he didn't speak much.

Armin didn't mind, and neither did Jean. Jean looked down at the boy, hand that was resting on his shoulder tensing slightly, before reaching up and running through the blonde locks on Armin's head, silently thinking what the boy would look like without hair.

"How did it go?" he asked, rubbing Armin's scalp soothingly, smirking when Armin leant into his hand. Armin sighed, grimacing.

"Let's just say I'm not looking forward to another 12 months." he mumbled, his eyes punched together.

The gruelling treatment had made him dog tired, but he wouldn't forgo Jeans visit just because he was exhausted.

Is this what he would feel like for almost a year, he wondered, tired and achy?

Jean noticed Armin's struggle, shifting so Armin's head was on his lap.

"Jean?" Armin whispered, fighting to stay awake. Jean, continued to card his fingers through Armin's hair, lulling his quietly.

"Go to sleep Armin. I'll stay, you just rest. You look like shit, go to sleep." he grunted, smirking when Armin rolled his unseeing eyes.

"Asswipe." Armin muttered, before closing his eyes, snuggling into Jean's lap, his breathing mellowing out, until his soft snores fanned over Jean's knee.

Jean smiled, adjusting his posture to a more comfortable position, careful not to jostle he sleeping blonde. He was going to be there for a while.

~~~

Armin giggles filled the room, eventually turning into snorts of laughter.

"Oh my god, you really stapled a wig on Connie's head?" Armin squeaked, trying to holding in his mirth to speak. Jean chuckled grinning smugly.

Jean had introduced Armin to a couple of his friends, Connie and Marco, a week earlier, playing a round of Cards Against a Humanity with them, with Jean as his, quote, 'seeing eye monkey', according to Marco.

Jean had been a little peeved at the way Connie and Marco seemed to treat Armin like glass, like he could break at any point.

Sure, he had been a little more fragile since his treatment began, but he wasn't a porcelain doll, and Jean thought it quite condescending when his friends walked on eggshells around Armin.

After Armin had reassured Jean that it wasn't a problem and that he was used to it, but this somehow didn't make Jean any less pissed.

But he sucked it up, for Armin's sake. Armin hummed, leaning against Jean's shoulder, a smile on his face.

It had been less bitter, less fake as Jean continued to visit Armin, and Jean felt a warm feeling inside when he made Armin's face light up a little more each day.

"I wonder if I should get a wig." Armin mused, his brow furrowing, tracing circles on the bed linen absentmindedly. Jean grunted, frowning.

"Why would you get a wig? They're so obvious when people wear them." Jean deadpanned, unconsciously brushing the few wisps of Armin's blonde hair out of his eyes.

Armin sighed exasperatedly, running a hand over his quickly thinning hair.

"I'm practically bald Jean, I don't want to look like an alien." he gritted out, his facial expression turning pained.

He hated the fact that his hair was falling out, he hated the fact that he had the illness altogether, but what he hated most of all were the pity looks he could feel aimed at him like bullets.

People would treat him like a baby, like he was a lost puppy in need of constant sympathy.

He didn't need that. All he needed was a friend. All he needed, he soon realised, was Jean.

He was his only visitor, besides the nurses, and Marco occasionally when Jean brought him. Connie was banned from the room after he used the wheelchair in the corner to joust. Jean hummed, eyeing Armin thoughtfully.

"Hey Armin. It's your birthday next week isn't it?" he asked, a tingling idea forming in his mind.

Armin nodded, fiddling with the sleeve of the hoodie he was wearing, Jean's of course. The gown had become too bothersome, so as long as the clothing was loose, the hospital let him wear normal clothes.

Jean nodded, smirking softly, and squeezed Armin's tiny waist, earning a ticklish giggle from the boy.

"You'll be eighteen right?" Jean asked, lightly stroking Armin's side absentmindedly, as they lay sprawled on the bed, a book strewn on the end of the bed from when Jean had been reading to Armin earlier. The boy consumed literature like a starving man did food. Armin nodded, humming an affirmation.

"I have a chemo appointment that morning, which sucks, but if you want you can come in the afternoon." Armin mumbled, blushing lightly.

"What? No I'll be there all day! Can't have you alone on your birthday Armin." Jean said sternly, having every intention to be with Armin through everything.

Armin shook his head, sighing miserably. He felt weak when he had the treatment, and he didn't want Jean seeing him so vulnerable, so ill.

"Hey, Armin don't cry, what's wrong?" Jean asked softly, wiping away a single tear that fell down Armin's pale cheek.

Armin didn't know he was even crying, but sniffled, shaking his head.

"It's not pleasant Jean, it looks grim with all the drips and machinery and stuff, well from what I can feel. I don't want you to be uncomfortable." Armin whispered, attempting to force a smile.

Jean shook his head, taking Armin's hand and squeezing it tightly.

"I can assure you it won't freak me out. You can't get rid of me that easily Arlet." Jean grinned, trying to lighten the mood.

Armin chuckled weakly, closing his eyes sleepily. Jean noticed the lack of argument from the stubborn boy, and smiled, moving so Armin would be more comfortable.

"Come on sleepy head, time for a nap." he said, adjusting the boy so his head was once again on Jean's lap.

Armin whined tiredly, nuzzling Jean's leg as he fell asleep, the sound of Jean's heart beat resounding around the silent room lulling him to sleep.

Jean closed his eyes, thinking of how to celebrate with Armin. He smiled as he drifted off, his plan coming together.

He was determined to make it the best birthday Armin had ever had.

~~~

Armin refused to look Jean in the eye as the nurse inserted the IV into his arm, wincing when she wiggled around for a vein.

She flashed him an apologetic smile, before hooking the IV bag up to the stand, making sure that the drip was feeding in correctly, before walking out the room, scribbling down notes on her chart.

Jean watched her leave, then looked back down at Armin, who had been gripping his hand with an iron fist for the whole procedure, and still wasn't letting go.

"Armin?" he called softly, trying to pull the now completely bald boy out of his reverie. Armin blinked slowly, lifting his head stiffly, still not meeting Jean's eye.

Jean shuffled closer, his knee brushing against Armin's. Armin's grip on his hand tightened momentarily, and he finally slid his empty, eerily accurate gaze over to Jean's.

Jean smiled shyly at Armin, feeling a little upset that Armin had to go through this on his birthday of all times.

"You ok with me being here still?" Jean mumbled, starting to feel Armin tremble slightly. Did he alway get like this with the chemo?

Armin nodded, closing his unseeing eyes.

"Y-yeah, I guess... I guess it just feels weird not sitting here alone, s'all." Armin rasped, embarrassed to no end that Jean was there, seeing him like this, weak from the treatment, pale as a sheet and looking so small.

Jean smiled, gently prying his hand out of Armin's. Armin's eyes widened, feeling the bed shift as Jean got up, and he panicked.

"Jean?!" he cried, fumbling around for Jean's hand frantically on the bed.

Jean looked back over confused as he rummaged through his rucksack, only realising what was wrong when he saw Armin start to hyperventilate.

"J-Jean? Wh-where are you?" Armin shouted, as loud as his raw throat would allow him, and Jean rushed to his side immediately, grabbing his hand and holding it reassuringly.

Armin almost wept with relief, convinced that Jean had just walked out when Armin said it was weird.

Jean brushed the pad of his thumb over Armin's bony knuckles soothingly, making sure the boy was calm once again before he spoke.

"I'll never leave like that Armin, got it? I was just getting something out of my bag and forgot that you would have no clue what was happening, I'm an idiot like that you know." he said softly, earning a giggle from Armin.

Jean smiled, sitting back next to Armin on the bed. "Here, happy birthday Armin." Jean said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, a light blush dusting his cheeks.

Sometimes he was glad Armin couldn't see his face.

He handed Armin a small package, wrapped in brown paper, soft and crinkling when Armin turned it over in his hands.

Armin cocked his head to one side, looking straight ahead in thought.

"What's this Jean?" Armin asked, looking over towards Jean curiously. Jean chuckled, rolling his eyes at Armin's confused expression.

"Open it and find out dingus. It's your birthday present after all." Jean smirked, biting his lip to refrain from laughing more at Armin's shocked expression.

"R-really? For me?" he squeaked, blue eyes wide and filled with glassy awe. Jean smiled wider, his heart beating more rapidly for some reason as he scanned over Armin's adoring expression.

"Of course, that's what best friends are for." he replied, nudging Armin lightly. Armin blinked, before a face splitting grin spread across his face.

Carefully, he picked at the scotch tape at one of the corners of the lumpy package, peeling it back tentatively until the entire side was open.

He turned the paper upside down, letting the contents spill out onto his lap, carefully picking up the first item.

He snorted lightly, smirking and shaking his head as he felt it, setting it to one side.

"M&Ms is a great way to start." he snickered, picking up the next item, feeling around the edges nimbly.

He gasped as his fingers ran over the Braille lettering, mumbling the words to himself, before whipping his head around to Jean.

"'Misery'? How did you even get this in Braille?! It's my favourite book!" he exclaimed, once again looking back at Jean with an awe filled expression.

Jean shrugged, even though Armin couldn't see it. "I saw it online and remembered you telling me how much you like it." he said simply, blushing a bit as Armin beamed.

Armin set the book down next to the sweets, picking up the last item on his lap.

It was a squishy, soft feeling material, and as Armin unfolded it, feeling around each lump and stitch, the more tears built behind his eyes.

It was a beanie hat, crudely made and a little misshapen, but sweet never the less.

He could only guess at the colour, but with shaking hands, slipped it over his bald head, the material feeling warm and comforting against his exposed scalp.

Jean looked over Armin wearing the beanie, feeling proud and sentimental all at once.

The blue beanie fitted perfectly, covering Armin's head completely, slouching a little at the back as intended.

"Jean... Did you make this yourself?" Armin breathed, running his hand over the knobbly crocheted wool, every now and then feeling where the maker had slipped a stitch and fixed it.

Jean coughed self consciously, still blushing, looking anywhere but Armin.

"... If you tell any one I can knit I'll stop being your M&M supplier." he mumbled, flustered, smiling sheepishly as Armin giggled.

Armin stuck out his pinky, pointing it in Jean's general direction, a grateful, yet playful grin on his face.

"Ok. I promise not to tell anyone that you're secretly a big softy, especially Nurse Eren." Armin snickered, earning a glare from Jean.

He huffed, curling his own pinky around Armin's outstretched one, shaking it gently.

He couldn't help at smile at the boy, face lit up with glee, sun shining through the window, the room glowing from that smile, enhanced by the natural light filtering through.

Once again Jean's heart sped up, the blush that had settled on his face darkening as he looked over Armin's joy filled expression.

He didn't know why he was feeling like this, or even what he was feeling, but he didn't mind. It was quite nice, really.

Armin wiped the single tear that rolled down his cheek, blinking quickly.

"Thanks Jean... This- You have no idea how much this means to me. Thanks you..." Armin croaked, feeling his emotions bubble. Jean took his hand, squeezing it gently.

"You're welcome, 'Min. Happy birthday, again." Jean chuckled bashfully, still smiling.

He couldn't help but notice how innocent Armin looked, how utterly content he seemed in the sunlight, blue beanie on his head, eyes closed.

Peaceful.

He looked peaceful.

And Jean had never seen something more stunning than Armin at this moment.

His eyes widened when he realised he thought this, heart skipping a beat.

Could he like Armin?

He looked back down at the boy, who was now feeling over the blurb of his new book, a thoughtful expression falling over his face as it usually did when he became absorbed in any book he or Jean was reading to him.

He sighed. Yes, there was something for Armin definitely developing in his heart.

He just wasn't sure what.

~~~

Jean paced his bedroom backwards and forwards, biting the cuticle of his nail, anxiety swirling in his brain.

Four hours.

It had been four hours since the hospital called saying Armin had a seizure overnight, four hours since Jean's heart had stopped.

He glanced over to his phone on the bed for the hundredth time, exhaling sharply when he saw no call or message.

He resumed his pacing, waiting for that call to say if Armin had made it or not. With his condition, and weakened immune system, there was no telling what was wrong.

Was it part of his illness, the tumour ? Or had he gotten sick? Was the cancer worse than they thought?

All of a sudden, marimba chimed through the room, and Jean swooped in snatching up his phone and pressing accept.

"Hello?!" he answered in a hoarse yelp, a lump in his throat.

"Hello, Mr Kirschtein? I'm calling about your friend Armin Arlet..."

Jean held his breathe, biting his lip as he froze, anticipation and dread sinking in his stomach.

He mumbled a quite yes, barely able to form words around the lump in his throat.

"Armin is doing well, he's awake and there seems to be no damage or reason for the seizure other than exhaustion and a mild fever, however these have both been treated and he is now asking for you." the woman at the opposite end said, and Jean almost collapsed with relief, sinking down onto the bed in case his knees gave out.

"T-thank you. I'll be over soon." he choked, hanging up quickly and ramming on his shoes, grabbing his keys and wallet before shoving the, in his pocket, running out his flat with his jacket in one hand, his phone in the other.

He ran all the way to the bus stop, making it just in time to catch the next bus to the hospital.

He juddered his leg the entire journey, impatient to see Armin. As soon as the bus stopped Jean was out like a shot, skidding to a halt as he reached the hospital door, taking a deep breath to collect himself.

He walked in quickly, nodding to Nurse Misaka who worked on the ward Armin was on, and who usually had a small chat with them sometimes when Jean visited.

She smiled at him sympathetically, a knowing look in her eyes, and nodded him towards Armin's room.

He grimaced, gulping down his fear as he slowly opened the door.

Armin was awake, propped up on the bed with heaps of pillows, looking almost as white as the bed sheets.

A new IV had been placed in his hand, and Nurse Eren was hovering over Armin's chart muttering a few curses as he scanned over the notes.

Armin's head was bowed, and Jean noticed that he was still wearing that ugly beanie, striking blue against the white room.

Jean cleared his throat, and Eren and Armin both snapped their head in his direction, Armin maintaining a weak, slightly forced smile, while Eren just scowled.

He didn't really like Jean all that much since he pulled a prank on him involving an air horn and Eren's favourite office chair.

Jean grimaced at Eren, making the nurse scowl even more.

"Who crawled up your butt and died?" Jean huffed, quirking an eyebrow as he sat down next to Armin, grabbing his hand for comfort, his and Armin's.

Eren huffed, clipping the chart back down and glaring at Jean. Armin giggled, sensing the playful loathing, smirking somewhat.

"Probably Dr Levi. You've been shadowing him a lot recently, haven't you Eren?" Armin chirped innocently, suppressing more giggles at the sound of Eren's spluttering and Jean's guffawing.

Jean snickers died down as Eren turned red, his eyes wide with shame. Jean gasped slightly, turning serious suddenly.

"Wait, you and Ackerman? Seriously?" he hissed, and Eren just groaned, burying his face in his hands.

Armin's cough brought them back to the present, Eren turning back with a neutral expression, face still a bit pink. Jean squeezed Armin's hand, smiling fondly, just glad Armin was ok.

"Jesus Christ Armin, you had me worried there for a second." Jean chuckled nervously, trying to calm his own frayed nerves.

Armin smiled sadly, shrugging. Jean could see the bags under his eyes, and wondered just how much sleep Armin got last night.

He was so busy staring at Armin, he didn't notice Eren leaving, flustered and still mumbling about Dr Levi. Armin closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, exhaling loudly.

"Sorry if you freaked out. I guess this things taking a bigger deal out of me than I thought." Armin sighed, trying to smile, but failing miserably.

Jean grunted, a deep worried frown on his face. He had never seen a time when Armin was so, done, for lack of a better word.

He looked as if he had aged a hundred years, bright eyes that were usually bright, despite the blindness, now cold and dark, an almost defeated look on his face.

Seeing him in such a state made Jean's heart break, and he shuffled closer, bringing his hand up to rest on Armin's shoulder.

"Hey, Armin. What's on your mind?" he asked, mentally cursing about how stupid that sounded. Armin sighed again, biting his lower lip. There was silence, until Armin spoke.

"I just feel like, like... Like all this chemo, all these tests and treatments, they're all for nothing, you know? What have I got besides rotting here inside the hospital? I have no family, no one to go home to at all! A week after I was admitted here, my grandfather died. What's going to happen when I leave? If I leave." he murmured, trailing off into a whisper near the end.

Jean was stunned, staring at Armin in shocked silence, his hand slack on his shoulder. After a few more moments of tense silence, Jean finally snapped out of his stupor.

He let go of Armin's shoulder, cautiously, almost scared Armin would break down, reaching up to cup Armin's chin.

Armin gasped at the sudden touch, eyes wide as Jean turned his head to meet his, and Armin could feel Jean's deep warm breaths fanning out across his face.

Jeans heart was thudding against his chest as he leant forward, resting his forehead on Armin's.

For once Jean was truly at a loss for words.

How do you respond when someone you love - yes he had decided that he loved Armin after about four minor existential crises - bears their soul to you and practically bleeds their heart?

He thought carefully about what to say, but his mind drew a blank.

He could only think of one thing to do, but he didn't think Armin woul-

Jean's train of thought was cut off abruptly when Armin timidly pressed his lips to Jean's, lips trembling and warm against his.

Jean froze, half in surprise, half annoyed he didn't get the chance to kiss him first, then started kissing back with the same coyness, testing the waters so to speak.

They moved their lips against each other's for a few moments, before breaking apart, faces flushed lightly, Armin panting, wide unfocused eyes gleaming brighter than ever before.

Jean stared into those eyes, taking in everything about Armin. His smooth, alabaster skin soft as silk, his pink, curved lips, plump from the kiss, his ridiculous beanie, somehow making him look cuter than he usually did, and that smile, God that smile.

As soon as they pulled back, the smile slipped onto Armin's face once more, dazzling Jean with how genuine and loving it was.

Jean grinned back sheepishly, planting a lingering kiss on Armin's nose softly.

"Armin, it's not all for nothing. If it weren't for them, then you wouldn't be getting better, and I wouldn't be able to love you. When you leave, you're going to live with me, ok? I care about you more than I've cared about anyone in a long time, Armin, and damn, if I let you go so easily." Jean whispered, heart on his sleeve as always, eyes closed and body slumped.

Armin choked back tears as he nodded against Jean's chest, closing his eyes and resting there, his emotions frayed and burning love towards Jean, the seemingly forbidden fruit he had longed for since the very day he started visiting Armin.

Jean stroked up and down Armin's back, feeling the blonde shiver beneath his touch.

He smiled crookedly, planting a kiss on the top of Armin's head, nuzzling into the fabric of his beanie.

"Can I say those words Jean?" Armin whispered, eyes squeezed shut, bracing for the hurricane of anticipation.

Jeans breath hitched, pausing for a second, before chuckling a little, cupping Armin's chin and lifting his head to meet his gaze.

"Can I say them too?" Jean whispered, and Armin gasped, his unseeing eyes glinting in the strip lighting.

He nodded hastily, leaning up to capture Jeans lips in a kiss, clumsy due to his blindness, missing his lips and catching the corner of his mouth.

Jean tilted his end so he could kiss Armin head on, dipping his tongue lightly between his lips, smirking when he felt the boy shiver.

He pulled back, resting his forehead on Armin's, deep breaths fanning over Armin's face, mingling with his own.

"I love you Jean." Armin whispered, wrapping and arm around his waist , trying to pull closer. Jean smiled, sighing happily.

"I love you too Armin." he muttered, kissing Armin's forehead. The beanie clad boy giggled, snuggling into jeans gentle arms, closing his eyes sleepily.

With the treatment and the emotional exhaustion, he felt himself start to drift into unconsciousness, and the last thing he felt were Jean's warm lips against his forehead.

"Go to sleep love, I promise I'll be here when you wake up. I love you baby." Jean breathed, and Armin did.

~~~

Armin sat, twisting the fabric of his beanie between his fingers, biting his lip incessantly, the hum of the vent above him the only sound in the room.

Any moment now, he would learn whether he was eligible for the trial, if the medication would help cure him sooner than the chemo, if he could finally be normal again.

Jean was perched next to him, hand stroking the top of his head with his thumb, the wispy dozen or so blonde hairs remaining ruffling a little.

Jeans lips were drawn in a thin line, frowning at the wall anxiously, his absent caressing never ceasing, a thick, nervous silence in the room.

Armin let out a shaky sigh, virtually strangling the beanie. Jean noticed this, and paused, reaching over and twining his hand with Armin's, squeezing reassuringly.

Armin smiled a little, squeezing back in acknowledgement. Suddenly, the door swung open, and the doctor literally strolled in, a slightly manic grin on her face.

Jean was kind of glad that Armin couldn't see her, he'd be a little freaked out.

"Hello boys! My name is Dr Hanji. I understand that one of you wanted to see if they were eligible for the new drug trial?" she chirped, hands on her hips with a quirked eyebrow.

Armin nodded, gripping Jeans hand tighter, his already pale face almost white. Jean leaned over, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, trying to keep the boy calm.

The last thing he needed was more stress.

Hanji looked between them, her grin widening as she observed their little interactions.

Keeping her inner fangirling aside, and her professional mask firmly in place, she began to explain how the new drug would work.

"The drug, Titanine, alters the growth cycle of the tumour, and should stop it from growing, while at the same time, destroying it slowly, until it either shrinks and gets broken down by the body, or until it is small enough to remove. In your case, with the tumour being so close to the eye, we're hoping that we don't have to perform any surgery, or your eye may be even more damaged, so if this drug can completely destroy the tumour, then that's the best option." she rambled, beginning to go into detail about mitosis and semi conservative replication, both of which were completely lost on Jean and Armin, but who nodded along regardless.

All either of them could think about was the possibility of Armin being cured without the gruelling chemotherapy, without the exhaustion, tears and sickness.

After a few more over complicated explanation and a trees worth of paper work, Armin was officially signed up for the trial.

He sat in Jean's lap, utterly stunned. It was a lot to take it at once - Dr Hanji had that affect on people - and his head was starting to hurt with all the information.

Jean quietly sat with his chin on Armin's shoulder, thinking over everything. He was glad that Armin had gotten the place, but at the same time he couldn't help but worry.

This was an experimental trial, and while in the lab the drug had shown to be highly successful, how would it affect Armin in real life?

"Armin..." he began, feeling the boy tense slightly in his arms at the sudden address.

Armin hummed, lightly touching a Jeans arm in acknowledgement. Jean sighed, holding Armin just a little bit closer to himself.

"Armin, are you sure about this? What, what if it doesn't work?" he mumbled, more scared what could happen than Armin was. Armin just smiled, squeezing Jean's arm reassuringly.

"It's ok Jean, I know what I'm doing. If it works, it works. If it doesn't, I can try the chemo again. There's nothing to worry about." Armin replied quietly, shifting so he was tucked under Jean's chin.

He was tired again, and it wasn't just because of the chemo.

He was tired because of all that had happened to him in the past six months, of all the bull cramp he had to endure each day.

He just wanted to be, normal, per say. He wanted to be able to go out and play frisbee with his friends, he wanted to be able to wake up to the sound of birds in the morning, not the buzz of hospital machines.

He held the beanie in his hands up to his face, and took a deep inhale of breath, Jean's scent all over the knobbly blue hat.

This, this smelt like home, like a normal life.

Jean watched with amusement as Armin sniffed the beanie, half smug, half bemused.

He pulled the material swiftly from between Armin's fingers and before he could protest, stuffed it over his head.

Armin pouted, secretly annoyed that he couldn't sniff it again, and raised an eyebrow, glaring in what he hoped was Jean's general direction.

Jean chuckled, pecking Armin's cheek, earning a blush, and a deeper pout from the boy.

"Sorry baby, you just look so cute with it on, plus I don't want you getting cold." he cooed, leaning back onto the pillows with Armin safely clutched to his chest.

Armin huffed, rolling his eyes and smirking fondly, accepting defeat and leaning back. He supposed that the real thing was better than the smell.

They stayed quiet for a moment, just content to lay with one another in each other's company, before Armin's quiet, almost inaudible voice broke the silence.

"What if... What if something bad happens to me Jean? Like. You said, what if it doesn't work? Will I ever be normal?" he whispered, quivering slightly in Jean's arms.

Jean sighed, running a hand over the blondes beanie clad head, petting him soothingly.

"I can't promise that everything will be ok Armin. I can't promise that the drug will work, or that you will get completely better. But what I can promise is that I will be here with you every step of the way."

~~~

Dr Hanji beamed as she strolled into the room, eyes scanning a flustered looking chart with excitement.

"Well Armin, it looks like the drug is working as well as we anticipated. The tumour has shrunk by almost twenty percent in the last two month So!" she exclaimed, thrusting the chart into the hands of a nervous looking medical student that was shadowing her, Moblit, who stumbled from the sheer force of the eccentric doctor.

Armin grinned, clasping his hands together in excitement. "Does that mean I get to leave sooner?" he asked, the the beanie slipping as he trembled with excitement.

He adjusted it and sat up a little in bed, pulling the sleeves of Jean's hoodie over his fingers.

Jean was out of town visiting relative for a couple of days, and they had been relying on Skype to communicate.

Now Armin couldn't wait to tell him the news that he was getting better than expected.

Hanji raised her brow, a devious smirk on her face. She and Armin had become good friends because of the trial, with the amount of time had had to endure her through tests and treatments.

"Armin Arlet, do you want to leave the hospital so badly so you can have lewd times with your boyfriend? Ackerman would be so proud!" she cried, wiping away false tears.

Armin giggled, hugging himself happily. Hanji smiled, turning and leaving the room, dragging the ever anxious Moblit along with her.

Armin reached under his pillow quickly for his phone, going on Skype quickly and video calling Jean.

It rang a few times, before the disheveled, smiling dork with the undercut answered, grimacing slightly as a few French obscenities were slung across the room by his great aunt.

"Hey 'Min. I've missed you babe, how've you been?" he sighed, relaxing on the lumpy spare bed of his aunts house.

Armin beamed, blinking back tears a little, happy to hear Jean's voice again.

"Hi Jean. I've been good- no, better thank goodness! Dr Hanji thinks I could go home sooner than expected!" he squealed, almost dropping his phone.

Jean gasped, his eyes wide, a wide grin spreading across his face.

"That's great news Armin! See, told you everything would turn out fine, didn't I? he said, puffing out his chest with pride for his boy.

Armin rolled his eyes, pulling on the hem of his genie absentmindedly, as he often did when he got shy.

"Dr Hanji also said some... rather strange things this afternoon as well. Armin murmured, and Jean snorted.

"Hanji always say weird stuff. What was it today?" he huffed, a crooked smirk on his face.

Armin blushed, biting his lip coyly. "Just about what... 'lewd' activities we could be doing with that saved time." he whispered, chuckling as he heard Jean splutter from the other side.

There was quiet for a moment, as Jean collected himself, looking at Armin curiously. Armin frowned, leaning closer to the phone.

"Jean? You still there?" he called, and Jean coughed, making Armin jump slightly, before huffing a little.

"Yeah, baby, I'm still here, it's just... do you think about that? The physical side of a relationship much?" he muttered, and Armin furrowed his brow.

He had thought about how exactly it would work for them, with Armin being so physically weak at the moment, but he couldn't say he wasn't curious.

He cocked his head pouting, deep in thought.

"Well. I have kind of wondered how that part would happen. I mean, I've never... before, and I didn't really know how you would feel about it." Armin replied, blushing harder.

Jean took a deep breath and let it out slowly. To be honest, he had also been thinking about doing those sort of things with Armin, but he never wanted to. Bring it up.

What if he didn't want to do those thing with Jean? What if he did, but his frail body couldn't handle it, and Jean hurt him?

Jean turned back to the screen of his phone, clicking his tongue in thought.

"I think that if you wanted to, in the future we could explore the physical side. We've only been dating for a couple of months, I want to wine and dine you a little longer before we take this big step. Besides with the treatment, I'm not sure how well would be able to manage it." he said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

Armin nodded his head, musing over this, before nodding his head, smiling shyly at the camera.

"I think I would like that Jean. Once everything's ok and I'm better, though. Then I don't think I'd be able to keep my hands off you. Your face feels very handsome." Armin replied, smirking, although his blush maintained his innocent look.

Jean grinned, chuckling, and he sighed, leaning up on his elbow, staring at Armin through the screen.

He loved this boy, and he couldn't wait until things got better.

~~~

Jean sat in the waiting room, head in his hands, rocking backwards and forwards anxiously, like a nervous father to be.

Today Armin was getting his last round of tests, and if all was good, he would be able to go home today.

It had been an hour and no sign of Armin or Hanji could be seen. He knew the scans would take a long time, but when every minute felt like an hour, it seemed to be taking an eternity.

He tapped his foot on the Lino, running his fingers over the bobbly blue material between his hands, smoothing over every ridge and bump.

Armin was obviously not allowed to keep the beanie on during the tests, so Jean was holding it for him for when he was out, and Armin had even suggested Jean keep it for a while as a good luck charm. To say Jean was touched would be an understatement.

But we don't talk about how much he cried, not ever.

He heard footsteps from down the hallway, and whipped his head up to see Nurse Mikasa walking up to him, clipboard in hand and a tight smile on her face. She was a rather stoic person after all.

Jean stood up as she approached, gnawing on his bottom lip incessantly. She stood in front of him, reading the clipboard for a second before her eye flickered back up to Jean.

"The tests came back clean. He's going to be discharged today, but you need to keep good eye on him for at least the next two weeks. He'll have to take his follow up course of medication, but other than that, he should be relatively normal." she informed him, handing him the clipboard full of paper work to sign.

He blinked, before smiling widely, quickly scribbling down his signature on the release papers, before Mikasa escorted him down the hall to the surgery.

She opened the door, and behind it sat a beaming Armin, looking absolutely petite in Jean's huge sweater, his bald little head poking out from the top, grinning from ear to ear.

Jean walked forward quickly, engulfing his boyfriend of five months in his arms, kissing his temple repeatedly.

"You get to come home with me!" Jean whispered in his ear, still shocked himself. Armin nodded, lost for words.

He had been so sure that he would never get out the hospital, that he'd end up on the street or something if he ever did. Now he had an amazing boyfriend, and a promise that his life would get better.

Armin pulled back, reaching up and caressing Jean's face with his fingers, nimbly feeling over every ridge and sharpe angle of his jawline, his angular nose and defined cheekbones.

He felt the crease in the corners of his eyes deepen as he smiled, and felt his sweet lips kiss his hand as it trailed down the side of his cheek.

"Can't wait JB." Armin snickered, and Jean whined at the back of his throat a little at the nickname.

It was short for Jeanie Beanie, the name bestowed upon him by Eren when Armin revealed Jean's talent for knitting.

Now every time he saw Eren, he had a new reason to want to punch him, although from the looks he was receiving from Dr Levi, he refrained from introducing Eren's face to the floor.

"Babe, as much as I love you, if I ever hear you call me that again I think I may puke." Jean groaned, pulling Armin's hands down and biting his knuckles playfully, scraping his teeth along them to tease.

Armin giggled, wiggling off Jean's lap and picking up his huge hold-all that was sat next to the bed.

Jean snatched it from his hands, grinning triumphantly when Armin whined and pouted, sticking his tongue out childishly.

Hanji and Moblit watched amused from the other side of the room, Hanji sighing loudly, leaning on the exhausted student.

"Young love." she cooed, simpering as Jean and Armin walked out hand in hand down the hallway, Jean slipping the beanie back on Armin's tufty head, the boy squeaking at the ministration.

She turned to Moblit, giving him one of her wild grins. He gulped, knowing what was ahead. She was going to show him what 'lewd' meant.

~~~

"Jean, hurry up! They'll be over in ten minutes!" Armin called from deep inside the apartment.

He heard a grunt, then footsteps, as Jean's sleepy figure balked through the kitchen door, rubbing his head tiredly.

Jean stifled a yawn, walking towards Armin and dropping a greeting kiss on top of his head, wrapping his arms around the blind boys tiny waist.

Armin stood at the counter, fingers running over the raised bumps of the Braille cookbook he got from Jean for Christmas.

It had been almost nine months since Armin had been in remission, and things were going amazingly.

They were currently waiting for their friends to arrive, Eren, Mikasa, Hanji and Marco.

Connie was on holiday with his girlfriend Sasha, so couldn't come, much to Mikasa's relief - she still hadn't forgotten the jousting incident.

Armin turned to kiss Jean, and shrugged the whining man off his shoulders, setting the book down and folding his arms across his chest, eyebrow raised in Jean's vague direction.

"If I can feel that pressed against my butt, it means you're not dressed. If you want any of this tonight, behave today, got it?" Armin growled, half joking half deadly serious.

Jean hastily pecked his lips, scrambling out of the kitchen and back to the bedroom to fling on some clothes, not wanting to incur the wrath of Armin Arlet.

He flew back to the kitchen once presentable, running his hand through his undercut. Armin placed the last bowl in the cupboard just as the doorbell buzzed, letting them know their friends were here.

Jean buzzed them up, and stood near the door, Armin tucked under his arm protectively.

Armin flushed, smoothing down the strands of his short blonde hair, the patchy tufts months previously replaced with gorgeous silken locks.

Jean grabbed his hand, silently scolding him for being so nervous. Armin looked up, giving Jean the puppy eyes he had perfected only a few months into their relationship.

Jean sighed, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the faded blue hat, pressing it into Armin's hands.

Armin smiled cheekily as he slipped it on, adjusting it quickly before the door swung open, Eren barreling in the room, with an exasperated Levi hot on his tail.

Mikasa soon followed, dragging her boyfriend Erwin with her, the docile blonde almost twice her height. Marco walked in with Hanji, Moblit having to stay home due to stress.

They welcomed their friends excitedly, happy to see the people who had helped create this life they had together.

Jean snuck a glance over at Armin as Eren talked to him, and saw the peaceful smile on the blondes face.

Peaceful.

He was happy, truly happy, the sun once again bathing Armin in a healthy glow, the innocence and joy radiating from him amps he reminisced with old friends.

Yes, Jean had got his wish, and that wish was right besides him, tarnished azure eyes gleaming, blonde hair bouncing under the old blue beanie.

It was funny how such a humble gift could change their whole lives.

Without the wretched thing, he wouldn't be nearly as happy. He would never know what it felt like to hold the one he loves the most in his arms at night. He'd never be able to feel on top of the world.

Because of that beanie, Jean's life was never the same again, and he couldn't be happier.

Even if Eren did still call him Jeanie Beanie.

Holy fuck that was long!!! This took me two freaking weeks, so I hope you enjoyed it! It was worth it for me. Jearmin ftw! If you want more SnK shipping oneshots, tell me! I'm eager to explore this fandom! Almost forgot, dedicated to PikaGirl260 for making the cover for my oneshot book! Love ya bubs! Laika out.