G'day everyone I'm sorry I've not updated in forever but i'm back and hopefully this chapter won't suck ass and who knows if y'all are lucky there will be more than one update today!

Also in response to hyunjin being on hiatus im still going to continue this story as I had planned to since ik that a lot of us dearly miss hyunjinnie :((

Oof I re-read my last chapter and damn I feel hyunjin's pain adgajgfjhs

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hyunjin POV

I make it to the kitchen to see everyone else sat down other than me, innie and chan as soon I walk in they notice my presence straight away saying their good morning whilst I take my seat only Felix seeming to notice my lower mood sending me a worried glance as I smile back to reassure him that I'm okie when deep inside i know that I'm in a lot of emotional pain.

Jeongin POV

As Hyunjin's eyes glanced at the marks on my neck I felt a small wave of guilt rush through me, he soon left the room and chan turned back to me trying to grab my attention by snuggling into my neck this shook me from my thoughts however the guilt still nibbled away in the back of my mind. why was I feeling guilty im in love with chanie hyung not jinnie hyung right?

After a few more kisses we got up and headed down for breakfast, as soon as we walked in hand in hand as usually everyone turned to face us and very soon after they erupted into 'ooohs' and the odd teasing remark thrown to us every so often before chan spoke up " alright everyone calm down its not like we don't here you guys going at it too, lets start eating now should we!" everyone quickly went back to whatever conversation they were having beforehand but I couldn't help but feeling a pair of eyes lingering on me, I glanced up quickly locking eyes wit hyunjin as he sat across from me starting straight into my eyes an unreadable emotion present in his stare before he glanced towards my neck before getting and leaving the table.

" sorry guys i'm not feeling that hungry this morning imma go get ready and go on a run."

"okie bye hyung"

"bye jinnie stay safe!"

I can't help but think its my fault that he left so fast but why does jinnie hyung not like me and chan hyung being together does he like hyung or is it me he likes does jinnie hyung like me, ahhh this is driving me crazy I wanna know why he's acting so weird around us.

~time skip~

Everyone had finished breakfast, jinnie had left for his run 30 mins ago and chan, jisung and changbin hyung had all gone to the studio to work on some new songs. I knew this was a bad idea and if I get caught it won't be good but i'm really way too upset and frustrated I just want to know why jinnie is so different around me and chan now compared to before we told everyone we were dating he was so much more affectionate but pulled back after we announced it maybe it is true maybe he likes one of us and hates the fact we're together.

I quickly check the hallway too make sure no one is about and it seems like everyone is already preoccupied with something so I quietly sneak my way down the hall to jinnie hyungs room where I quietly open the door and slip into his room shutting the door as quietly as I can behind me making sure no one heard me. I glance around the room noticing the pictures of all the members he hanging on one wall and a few posters on another next to a shelf of books and CDs. I quickly make my way over to his bed sitting down for a moment before opening the top draw of his bedside table the contents being a pack of rubbers (isn't he still single though why would he need this oh well I guess young is a bit naughty too) a really scruffy looking notebook and a polaroid, the picture was of me chanie and jinnie hyung at a party we had for seungmin's birthday this was before me and chan announced we were dating, jinnie looks so happy here I really want to know what happened I want to find a way to help hyung with whatever his problem is.

I was about to shut the draw when my eyes caught sight of a small bit of writing on the bottom corner of the notebook, I picked it up carefully examining It before reading the writing "my secrets" this is clearly hyunjin's handwriting! I really shouldn't look but if anything is going to tell me what is going on in hyungs brain it'll be whatever is in this book. I carefully opened the cover and flicked through the pages most of which were about random things that had happened or times when he had used someones tooth brush without them knowing or had stolen their boxers cause he had run out. these entries pulling small giggles from my throat but one dated page caught my attention the age was wrinkled and there were some really obvious tear stains on the page, it was mainly the contents of the page that caught my attention the most as I read the page I found out that Hyunjin likes some one but that person apparently likes someone else or so he thinks anyway.

As I continued reading the next few pages I decided to skip ahead a bit to not get too distracted but the page I landed on really left me speechless there were only 9 words on this page with read " I'm in love with both chan hyung and innie!" it took me a while to process the sentence but once I did I felt a tear run down my cheek, wiping it away I closed the book quickly putting it back in its place and closing the draw before rushing back to chanies room where I crawled into bed and cried. why am I crying? probably because i'm relieved that it isn't because ehe hates either of us he doesn't hate me I always thought he likes chan and thats why he was acting different but no he likes us both but at the same time i'm overwhelmed I dont know what I should do should I tell chan or should I talk to jinnie about it, I really don't know, I think ill keep quite for now whilst I think of what to do!

oof 1117 words ajwdhdjajw I hope you enjoyed ig :))