McDonalds

With Jess’s parents coming back from the store; she and her friend had to persuade Megaron into trans-scanning a huge-bulky proud looking car in the next door neighboor’s driveway. Trans-scanning is indeed a word that happens to mean scanning a new disguise that goes over the protoform mode and uses some raw materials to make it so. That’s actually the gist of Trans-scanning.

“Jess, what happened to the backyard?” Jess’s mother asks, holding a bag of groceries.

“She wanted to dig into china.” Jess lies pointing to her friend.

Megatron is in a garage covered by a truck tarp.

“I hope you know how to plant and call Backyard crashers.” Jess’s mother tells the girl.

Megatron curiously looks through the nearly ajar garage door watching the humans interactions with one another.

“I don’t know how to plant.” The friend said.

Megatron could see Jess is keeping back a smile from her friends excuse .

“Not the backyard, but the front yard you will plant some roses.” Jess’s mother tells the friend “You do the call while Jess’s dad and I get the groceries in.” She goes back into the house slamming the screen door behind her.

______                          ________                                        ______

        .  .  Monday, September 15, 2014 .  .  5:30 PM ..

  .  . . Still the same month Megatron arrived  .  .

“So, you’ve been holding me captive in a unfixed garage!” Megatron bellows. “This is unacceptable. Some-one has to fix this impostery before it becomes a fraudulent military operations.”

Jess spits out a sip from her coke,slapping her knees and laughing.

“How is that funny?” Megatron asks; you can hear how reluctant he is to be squeezed in this creaking old garage .

“No one is going to fix it.” Jess said, wiping her mouth off using a napkin.

The look on Megatron’s face easily said  ‘Someone has to’.

“If no one is going to fix it . . .” Megatron said. “Then I will!”

Jess laughs shaking her head, putting the napkin on the table beside her.

“All right.” Jess rubs her hands together. “If you find a way to get back into your universe, then you have my family’s permission to break this garage and put a new one in it’s place.”

Megatron thought for a moment.

“It’s a deal.” Megatron said.

Jess reaches her hand out.

“We are not shaking hands unless you want to die.” Megatron threatens her.

Jess brings her hand away from Megatron.

“I’m hungry,” Jess looks up to the Decepticon. “Does visiting Mcy-Dees sound good to you?”

“Mcy-Dee’s sounds like a primitive human who hunts your reptile relatives.” Megatron said.

“It’s McDonalds; fast food.” Jess explains to him.

Megatron’s face can easily tell a story and better yet; tell he’s confused.

“I don’t eat food that runs fast.” Megatron  remarks.

Jess slaps her forehead.

“Right!” She takes out the phone device that does not have a name from her jean pocket.  “You don’t usually eat human food  .  .  .” She holds up her index finger, “Hold up, I’m checking out the concept that a power outlet can make energon.”

Megatron looks at her strangely.

“I knew humans were stupid,” Megatron said, almost bragging about it in a way. “But I did not believe they were THIS desperate to make energon!” Megatron rolls an optic.

Jess lowers her device, a smile going from ear to ear.

“No, that’s unique.” Jess turns something on the device. There’s a yellow glow at the bottom ide of this device positioned at the top. She held it right up at Megatron. “We’re going to Mcy-dees!”

Megatron stares at Jess, probably thinking she has lost her brain.

“Why do I want to visit a human who eats reptiles?” Megatron asks.

“Megatron, you just made an internet meme!” Jess jumps up and down. “We just made an internet meme!”

She turns off the device then puts it into her pocket.

“I don’t . .  .” Megatron looks down to a mud puddle beside his leg.  His voice then became disgusted when saying, “Get it.”

“Fictional guy (who should be fictional, not be standing here in real life) just made a joke about a fictional  character.” Jess explain to him. “And we’ll get this old girl fixed up one of these days.” Jess pats on the garage’s wooden wall while shaking her head while repeating, “  .  . One of these days.”

Megatron did not want to stay inside this leaky, old creaking garage much longer. He transforms into his vehicle mode. Megatron could tell Jess referred to the garage as though it was a living creature like he is; which intrigued him about her.

“Megatron .  .  . . Did you add a tattoo of Starscream to your cardoor?” Jess said, feeling a little irked but confused.

“No.” Megatron said.

“Riiight.” Jess said, opening the garage doors.

Jess opens the passenger door.

“No, backseat.” Megatron raises his voice.

Jess leans her arms on the window.

“Megatron, people will think you are a driver for a billionaire who hired a driver-less car.” Jess puts the facts right out for the war lord. “And then people will stare at you, then you will transform, and kill them all. A couple weeks later the military will find you, kill you, throw your body off into the ocean, and never ever talk about a gigantic fictional robot again.”

“Backseat.” Megatron demands, but not as an order.

“Hologram.” Jess said. “Don’t be an idiot, big man. Pull up your hologram and then you will be intelligently fit to drive without people staring at you.”

Megatron’s hologram comes up.

“Will you not argue with me, now?” Megatron asks. He had picked a man with dark hair with white streaks to the side behind his ears. Megatron generally picked a military man in his 50’s that had lots of pride and reputation behind him.

Jess’s mouth is open briefly.

“Swag.” Jess  said, then she gets into the backseat. “And by the way; follow the houses with toilet paper all over. That’s how you get to McDonalds. It has a lot of out lets.”

Megatron shuts the passenger front door.

“Toliet Paper.” Megatron’s voice crings.

“We use it in the bathroom after—“ Jess went ahead to explain.

But by Megatron’s reaction; he knew what they were used for.

“Don’t finish that sentence.” Megatron stops her. He looks at the rearview mirror. “Give me directions before I destroy those disgusting, ugly houses when they come up.”

Jess loosely shrugs.

“Follow the dog signs,” Jess instructs the leader. “Once we get out the backyard. There’s a drive way to the right of this garage that goes out my home’s side.”

Megatron grumbles that his plans were better than human IQ as he followed the directions. Jess explains the concept of fast-food to him during the drive. ‘Fast-food’ made a little more sense then what his processor had been imagining. The dog signs did lead Megatron to Mcdonalds—However Jess is the one who told him to drive into the drive-thru---just as the human had said.

“Well  .  .  .” Jess  twists a curl of  her long dark brown hair. “It’s usually busy at five.”

“Must be their lucky day no one is here to see them die.” Megatron muses.

“And no eyewitnesses.” Jess agrees with Megatron.

Megatron pulled into a drive-thru.

“I don’t see reptiles on the menu.” Megatron observes, across from the menu.

Jess laughs, clenching over grabbing her stomach. Her face became pretty red.

“Th—t-they don’t serve reptitles!” Jess wipes off her joyful tears. “We call Mcdonalds as Mcy-Dee’s for fun. Like we do for ‘Wal-mart’ as wally world.”

Megatron shook his head making a note to self that humans were confusing. It made him wonder how the Autobots were willing to be around humans in the first place. This situation, on the other hand, required him to be with someone who knew about him. While in his thoughts Megatron could hear Jess’s Australian accent faintly in her indecisive speech about which food to get. Did the Autobots actually expect him to be sent somewhere else from this freak occurrence? Megatron did not have a good clue.

“Cheeseburger with chicken nuggets, four cups, some napkins,and scrambled eggs.” Jess finally decided. “You’ll be getting some food, Swag-atron.”

Megatron looks over his shoulder.

“What does that mean?” Megatron asks.

Jess giggles,while her face gets slightly red.

“You got a lot of swag, so, you are Swag-atron.” Jess said, and then she pauses. She taps on her chin.“No, smexyyyyy.”

Megatron notes to himself to not ask that again. He got more puzzles than answers. He drives towards to a box with a screen on it. The machine was odd and unusual, not what Megatron had expected from this ‘Mcy-dees’.

“What’s your order?” A voice from the screen asks.

“Energon.” Megatron said, at first.

“Using the Megatron voice to scare me is old.” The speaker goes on. “Can you stop the act.”

“Megatron don’t—“ Jess starts.

“I’m not frightening?” Megatron is furious. “This is my voice! I would like you, meatbag, to get me a cheeseburger with chicken nuggets so I can shove them into your split in half mouth, and then get me four cups so I can get your severed fingers into them, a lot of napkins, and scramble eggs so I can put them into the place where your optics should be!”

“Sir, if you are mocking a fictional character then please do your research.” The order taker said.  “And that would be three fifty for your order.”

Megatron’s fury is building up.

Jess gives him the thumbs up.

“I am Megatron, bound to become the Decepticons leader, and I’m being  accused of mocking myself?” Megatron’s voice became deeper and threatening with a uncanny growl that usually would not come from a man. “You are stupid, human!”

“I bet you’ve been studying that Peter Cullen dude.”

“Who.”  Megatron did not ask, but sound very ticked off.

“He’s Optimus Prime’s voice actor, and, he’s a big fan of him. Did you know that he practiced the prime’s voice during the era of Generation 1?” The Order taker asks. “I bet you don’t; you suck at making Galva—no I mean Megatron’s voice.”

Megatron turns his head to Jess.

“Can I murder this human at night?” Megatron asks.

The anger and fury bottled up needed to lashed out on some-one, and, Megatron just had to ASK in order to do this.

“Do not leave his body so dead it cannot be identified; cops need to identify the body.” Jess advises him.

Megatron turn his head back at the machine.

“What is your name?”

“Um, Blake H. Copperwear.”

“.  . . What kind of name is that?”

“I know right. It’s so bad I can just tell anyone it and people refuse to believe it.”

Megatron drove to the first window as Jess takes out five dollars from her purse.

“I’ve never heard a name that odd.” Megatron said. “Other than the boy with the cube.”

Jess holds the cash in-between the driver’s seat and the passenger seat.

“Give the cash.” Jess said. Megatron did not take it. “Take it before I show the video to the cashier and I won’t get that energon.”

Megatron grabs the cash and his windows roll down.

“Sorry for the inconvenience with Blake.” The Cashier apologies as she took the cash.  “He’s just moody about the whole new Transformers movie.” She looks both ways. “He thought it was horrible.”

“No, it’s awesome!” Jess adds.

“So, Mr . . .” The cashier ignores Jess’s fangirling comment.

“Decepticon Megatron.” Megatron said.

The cashier raises an eyebrow at him, a bit puzzled obviously.  She looks to Jess and then back to Megatron.

“1; what kind of car is this? 2; are you driving a millionaire’s kid? 3; are you serious?” The cashier asks.

Megatron drove past the cashier’s window. He drove to the second window.

“How many times have you used a hologram?” Jess asks. “I’m curious to know about them.”

Megatron looks towards the mirror hanging across from the window shield  on the ceiling.

“Zero.” Megatron said.

“Come on; this can’t be your first time!” Jess argues back at him. “You must have used it sometime.”

Megatron shook his head.

“I have not used a hologram until this solar cycle.” Megatron said.

Jess shook her head, ashamed that a Decepticon leader has used a hologram for the first time.

“Here’s your order.” A human hands the bag out the second window.

Megatron takes the bag from the human without muttering a single grateful comment—minus Jess because she did it for him—and went into the parking lot. Megatron takes the four cups out of the bag then hands them to Jess.

“You will look silly and stupid putting a cup under a power outlet.” Megatron said.

“Oh, it seemed normal in ‘Making a difference’.” Jess said,unbuckling her seat-belt. “And I’ve read all her Transformers stories.”

“Her?”

“The girl who wrote about you.” Jess said;she threw her phone over the seat to Megatron.

Megatron catches the iphone-like ipad.

“I’ve got it on her page; but, due to Fan Fiction.net making the quality for some of them worse; you have to fill in some of the gap and mentally correct it in your head.” Jess explains to the warlord. “It happens a lot on Fan Fiction.net.”

Megatron clicks on one of the writers stories, as Jess got out of the car.

“If you throw that out the window when you reading; you buy me a new one.” Jess warns Megatron.

Megatron looks away from the screen.

“Who’s Micheal Bay?” Megatron asks.

Jess smiles, turning away from the Decepticon while holding the four cups.

“Jess, who is he?” Megatron demands an answer, as he makes the passenger car door close. This human wants me to find out through this  .  . .Oooh—. “What just happened? How did this girl get into a battle between me and--  .  . that has not happened, yet.”

Megatron throws the device on the backseat.

“I do not want to read my future.” Megatron repeats, turning on the radio.

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