Chapter 4

The car jostled, jarring me awake just in time to stop myself from colliding with the dash. I clutched my head and grimaced. My mouth was dry, my throat burned, and my stomach rolled, angry about its emptiness. I needed to purge. My body knew, and it warred for its own survival. But the neon green had soaked in, flooded every cell, and there was no way to expel it.

It was a part of me.

"This is it." Julia motioned to the thick trees blocking our view.

I sat up, looked around, and twisted in my seat in an attempt to place our location. "Where...where's the road?"

Julia shrugged. "You passed out. The road ended. I took a scenic route."

I turned back, checking the children. They sat like little statues, staring innocently at the two of us as we spoke.

"You can't just drive through a..." I looked around again. "A muddy field."

"Why?" She snorted. "You worried about a fucking ticket?"

"How do you even know this is the spot?" I raised both brows at her and mentally kicked myself for falling asleep.

"I followed the signs."

"In a field?!"

She snatched my chin between her perfectly manicured fingers and jerked my head to the opposite side. Yellow signs lined the trees, dozens of them. They went on for as far as my eyes could follow, every ten feet. Biohazard.

"Oh." I pulled away from her and swallowed hard. For the second time, I questioned Merle's judgement. "Are we sure it's safe?"

"No. But I'm sure it's not safe anywhere else." She opened her door. "Now, get out and help me hide the car."

"Hide it?" I scrambled out after her.

Julia dipped down and gathered two globbing handfuls of mud, then with a wicked smile and dancing eyes, she smacked them onto the hood of Merle's Camaro and spread them around.

I stared at her grinning face.

She caught my ogling. "What? This car has been the other woman in Merle's life for decades. I can't wait to see his face when he gets a look at how I—" she paused to study her progress "—improved it."

My heart gave a lurch, aching with the knowledge Merle would probably never see what Julia had done, but I smiled despite it. I didn't get to do that to her. I didn't get to mourn and assume the worst while she needed me to be positive. The mud was thick and compacted, and it gave a plop as I dug my hands into it. I smacked it on the windshield then lifted a brow at Julia as I spread.

Julia pulled the back door open, smiling wide at the two children still huddled together like scared kittens. "C'mon, babies! What are you waiting for? I ain't ever met a kid who didn't wanna play in the mud!"

It was the girl who acted first. She moved slow, scooting across the seat as she worked hard to pull her brother along and keep him close. When she made it to the edge, Julia bent down to her level. "What's your name, darlin'?"

She hesitated. "Eve."

"And your little brother?" Julia peeked around at the boy ducked behind his sister.

Eve answered for him. "That's Eric."

"Well, Eve and Eric, I'm Julia." She held out her hand.

I bit back a laugh. Julia's hand was coated. Globs of mud gathered between her fingers and clumped under her nails. If the little girl wasn't reluctant before, I couldn't imagine her wanting to take the offering now.

Seconds ticked by, becoming a minute before Eve finally reached out and complied, and the moment she did, Julia pulled her from the car with a continuous nod that made her look like a happy bobble head.  "That's the spirit." She reached down, grabbed a handful of mud, and smeared it into Eve's empty palm. "Now, throw that sucker!"

Eve's hesitation didn't last long. My eyes widened as her gaze moved to mine...seeking permission? Guidance? Was that my role, now? Had our late-night escape deemed me the hero? Official stand-in guardian?

Julia waited, knowing gaze fixed on me.

I shook my head, released a breath, then shrugged. "Throw that sucker!"

***

Both children were coated in filth and exhausted. As soon as the car was covered, Julia parked it amidst the trees and loaded us down with what we could carry from the trunk. She led the way past the signs and toward whatever fate awaited us.

I had a pack on my back, a duffle in each hand, and the weight was more than I could bare. Julia had the same, only hers wasn't quite as heavy as mine. I didn't complain. As ready as I felt to collapse, I wouldn't. Despite my body's deteriorated state, I was better off than Julia. She should have been living the retired dream. She should have been sewing in a circle of old women or playing bridge at some club house. She shouldn't have been walking along a murky bank, absorbing god-knows-how-many toxins into her aging body.

The children filled the gap between us, following Julia as I kept a close pace behind. Eric was so small. He often stumbled and fell, and Eve was the perfect big sister, always quick to lift him back up and help him as he struggled. Patches of fog clung to the air, disappearing just before we could catch up to them. They reminded me of ghosts, there one minute, gone the next, a shadow in my peripheral that I could never be sure was there. Perhaps they were people who'd come before and died, or people who hadn't come and wished they had. Here too late, part of the chemicals that'd killed them.

When we'd been walking for hours with little change in scenery, Julia dropped her bags and flopped down against the trunk of a giant cypress tree. "This place is uninhabitable," she said. Her shoulders slumped, back bowed, but the angle of her jaw was hard enough to compensate. "I've been waiting to see a break where we can make some sort of shelter, but the only place big enough to stand in is right beside the fucking water."

I motioned the kids to sit on either side of her and gratefully relinquished my own load to the dirt. "It has to open up at some point. Let's just rest here a little bit, then we can keep moving." I took the spot beside Eric and smiled reassuringly at the kids. "We'll find somewhere soon. Don't mind Julia. She gets cranky when she's tired."

Julia snorted but made no attempt to defend herself.

I rested my temple against the tree, sighing heavily as my muscles loosened and relaxed.

"Willow?" Julia hissed.

My eyes sprang open, expecting to see hazmat suits, flashing yellow lights, and a group of officials ready to haul us back to atone for our sins. Instead, I saw nothing. "What?"

"Look. In the water." She pointed. "What is that?"

I peered in the direction and scanned the murky surface. Three bumps blended in with the surrounding debris, rough, just like the broken limbs protruding all along the winding canal...but different. They moved, dipped beneath the surface only to pop back up a second later in a new spot a few feet closer.

Julia slowly stood, shaking her hand down at Eve to take hold. "That's an alligator," she whispered over to me. "We need to keep our motions slow and steady and get the hell away from it."

I followed her lead, scooping Eric into my arms and positioning him on my hip. The bags stayed scattered on the ground behind me. As much as I knew we needed them, I couldn't hold Eric and them at the same time.

"Just move slow." Julia took a measured step forward.

"How fast do alligators run?" I hissed back.

The water stirred, a head floating up. A set of jaws opened wide, revealing rows of discolored teeth big enough to remove a limb. Then, a high guttural voice called, "Oh, I can run fast! Real fast!"

For the tiniest fraction of a second, the world froze. Us, it, the water, the breeze. Every sound stopped. The alligator had spoken. Then, in the next instant, the world exploded into action.

"Fuck that!" Julia abandoned caution for a full sprint. She dragged poor Eve behind her, leaving me to stumble after with a bouncy toddler on my hip.

"Wait!" the gator called from behind us. "I wasn't ready! That's cheating!"

Julia looked back with wide, panicked eyes, then seeing me so far behind, turned around to meet my side and push me ahead of her. "Dammit, girl! Go!"

I pushed ahead, gripping Eve's hand and leaving Julia to follow alone. My body protested, once again asked to perform beyond its capabilities. Eve stumbled to keep up, her little legs too short, but I didn't pause for long enough to lift her onto my opposite side. I didn't think it would speed us up. The added weight would likely cause my legs to break.

"Hey! Where you going?" It called again. "You dropped your old lady!"

I glanced back and stumbled to a stop. Julia was on the ground, backing away from the massive gator looming over her. It matched each inch she gained.

I sat Eric back down and pulled him and Eve together behind my back. There were only three choices. Protect the children, save Julia, or find some impossible way to do both.

I couldn't leave the last person I had. Merle had forced me. He'd forced us both to leave him behind, and I refused to do it again. I would not be alone out here, and I would not mourn them both. I'd rather be eaten.

I led the children behind me, both of their wrists gripped in my left hand as I slowly closed the gap between us and Julia.

"It's about time!" the gator said. "You can't be leaving this old lady lying around like this. Don't you know there's gators out here?"

I stared at it. Careful. Ready and waiting for the moment I'd be forced to fight. I had a plan. Kick it in the head. It wouldn't kill it, but it would at least buy me a few moments for Julia to flee. Or, maybe, I could wrestle it, jump on its back and hold its jaws shut like those men in khaki hats always did. Crickey, you're a live one, ya' are. I've lost my mind.

It flopped onto its stomach and panted. "Woo, that was exhilarating! I haven't ran that hard since Croc and I used to race. He always won, but at least he didn't cheat." He side-eyed both of us. "You're supposed to say, 'ready, set, go' then run."

"It's talking," I hissed toward Julia. "How the hell...?"

The gator tilted its head at us. "I'm sitting right here, and my name is Gator, not It." He lifted his chin and huffed.

Julia nodded shakily. "Yes. Well...it's nice to meet you...Gator." She cleared her throat and pushed me back an inch as she stood. "We're new here, and...I guess we were just a bit startled, is all." She pushed me again, twice, hard.

He bobbed his head up and down, and his jaws parted into a toothy grin. "Well, that's alright then! I should have known you were new. We don't get too many humans around here. Only the ones that come by to dump the sludge, but they're always wearing those white suits with the spaceman helmets."

He hopped back to his feet, and I squeaked, scuffling out of instinct and almost falling backwards.

The gator ducked his head low and fixed his gaze with mine. "Don't be scared. I won't eat you. My best friend is a human."

For a moment, I felt relief. For a nano second, a glimmer of hope surfaced. A human, in this swamp, alive. But I couldn't quite hang onto the feeling, not when the good news came from the jaws of the unbelievably bad news.

"There are more humans out here?" Julia asked.

How was she so calm? How was she able to talk to that thing like it was any normal day and we just needed directions?

Oh, by the way, do you know the way to the survivable parts of this place?

Of course! You just make a left at the tree that looks like all the other trees.

Why, thank you, talking-thing-that-isn't-supposed-to-be-talking!

My breaths were ragged as my focus bounced  between the two of them. It was the final straw. I was a half-broken camel. A psychotic laugh fought to bubble free of my lungs. This couldn't be real. This wasn't real. I was laid out on the road. I'd never made it home. Merle and Julia were sitting in the living room, watching the news and worried about where I was.

"Just Croc," he answered, smiling widely up at Julia. "He's got a big ole house. Real fancy. I can take you ladies there if you'd like. Your kids, too. My oh my, you are a fertile one, ain'tcha'? You gotta be careful with little ones, and Croc's place is safer than out here. Critters would just love to gobble the lot of you right up."

Julia dusted off her hot pink pants. For what reason, I didn't know. All she managed to do was smear the mud, and something told me the gator didn't give two shits about how put together she was.

"We'd be much obliged," she said.

"We would?"

"We would." She turned with both brows lifted and lowered her tone to an angry whisper. "We don't have many options, and I'd rather not piss off the talking alligator."

I clenched my jaw and nodded. The kids were huddled together, watching with wide excited eyes and open smiles. It surprised me. While they'd grown to trust Julia and I a bit more, they were always cautious, scared. But, now, with a gator large enough to turn them into muddy appetizers, they were...enamored. I supposed it should make sense. He was straight out of a cartoon, and if I weren't too busy visualizing my feet sticking from his mouth, I'd have been just as amazed.

We gathered our things and followed him, and it was the oddest thing I'd ever done. I stared at it, feeling more hysterical by the second. His tail swished back and forth, legs bowed wide, sashaying across the mud and roots.

The sun fell its final few feet beneath the horizon, and lightning bugs emerged. Brightest neon green. They glittered around us, forming clusters and waltzing across the air, breaking apart, disappearing, then lighting up one by one to dance again.

"It's just ahead. Big place. Nice place. And Croc, he's a real nice guy. He'll be more than happy to help you ladies out."

The trees spread out and formed a canopy above a large circular yard. The fireflies lingered in clusters around the doorway and light glowed from two small windows across the front. It was a shack, barely big enough for two rooms, and the way it fit into the surroundings seemed as if it'd sprung from the very swamp itself. A dock extended at least twenty feet out, reaching from the front door to hover above the murky depths of the canal.

"Croc!" Gator picked up his pace as we drew closer. "Croc!" His head swished over toward us. "He's gonna be real happy. Croc don't ever get to see people, especially super fertile lady people."

My hesitation magnified. "If that alligator calls me fertile one more time, we're leaving."

Julia shushed me.

The front door creaked open, and a massive shadow stepped out into the light. Long, matted dreadlocks hung heavily against his bare chest and shoulders. A beard, braided into two, filled the space between each side and dangled to his stomach. All that covered the rest of him was a pair of torn jean shorts and dried mud.

He froze at the sight of us, hands hung limp at his sides, mouth agape.

Gator rumbled a laugh. "I found these fertile lady humans, and they need a place to stay," he teased.

Croc jolted back to life. "Hello." He paused and scratched his beard, still gaping. "Croc has a house." He motioned behind him as if we wouldn't have noticed. "Croc can share it with you and provide food and water." He stepped over to the edge of the dock and pulled a cage from the depths. It was full of fish, flopping back and forth and barely distinguishable in the inky night atmosphere. "Croc is a good hunter." He straightened and dropped the cage. "Croc is strong." He flexed.

"Julia? What the hell is going on?" I spoke through barely parted lips.

Croc stopped talking and watched.

Julia was quiet a long moment. "I think...he's trying to impress you."

There it was. Another deal. Another hurtle for me to throw my soul over. There were a million Dannys, and it didn't matter where I went, I'd find another: A foster home, a group home, an after-school program, and now, a chemical swamp. It was the story of my life, and I fought the urge to throw up my hands and venture off alone. Nobody knew about that part of my life, not even Julia and Merle. It was my shame to carry. My burden to hold, and I didn't want them to look at me different or feel guilty about what I'd had to do to keep us safe. It was the same reason why I wouldn't walk away now. That wasn't who I was. I didn't abandon, and I'd especially never abandon Julia. "Why me?" It was a question for the universe.

Julia answered all the same. "I'm old, and it's you he's staring at."

He was. He watched our conversation with an acute awareness, a studying, a determination that was far too sudden and more than a little off putting. When we stopped talking and focused back on him, he said, "Croc would make equally strong children."

My lips pursed.

Julia snorted.

Gator spoke up again. "He ain't lying. He's real strong. Faster than me, even in the water."

I took a step back.

Croc's expression tightened, and he matched the motion, extending a hand as if at any moment he'd jump off the dock and drag me away by my hair.

Julia eyed him up, from his feet to his head. "There'll be no babies. We already have those." She motioned to the children, then fell silent another long moment, studying him in return. She didn't seem worried or upset. She didn't seem reluctant in the least. Her expression held the same warmth she'd offered me when I stepped into Merle's Diner all those years ago. "You haven't been around humans much, have you, hon?"

My attention shifted between the two of them, and I tried to see whatever it was Julia did.

He shuffled his feet, scratched the back of his neck, almost bashful? Ashamed? Embarrassed? It was an odd look for a man his size, especially given his appearance. "No, but—"

She cut him off. "Alright then. That's not how it works. No babies—"

"But—"

She pointed and gave him the look. The I'm-old-and-will-beat-you-to-death-if-you-disrespect-me look. I'd felt the force of it a thousand times since I'd met her, but I didn't see how it could work on a man who looked like he'd just returned from a war zone.

"No babies," she snapped. "That's the rules. You don't make babies with humans you just met."

His jaw worked as if an argument were bouncing around inside his mouth, but whatever magic Julia possessed was more powerful than I realized.

He motioned toward his door. "Do people offer shelter to humans they just met? Because it's dark, and Croc doesn't want the other gators to eat you."

Julia nodded and smiled. "What a nice young man. We'd love some shelter."

I gaped as she walked ahead, and both children quickly moved to follow. Croc didn't move or look away as he waited for me to join her.

I swallowed hard and reassured myself that Julia had it under control. I wouldn't need to make a deal. We could get by without one this time. Regardless, the children were no doubt hungry. They'd been walking for hours, and the longer I stood still, the more my own fatigue fought to knock me over.

There was no other choice. Julia was already on the porch. The kids were right behind her. I hoisted the packs and sighed, vowing this time would be different even though I knew...

I'd do whatever I needed to keep us safe.