Vicente Enriquez knew that to lost a brother in war will not be easy for Julian del Pilar to accept, especially when he was there to prevent it from happening and be a constant reminder to Julian that there's a slim chance of Goyo's survival. However, the two were left with the reality that death was inevitable.

* * *

"Kapag nagkita kayo ni Julian..."

Vicente remembered that time that Goyo was to say something regarding Julian. And how heavy the subject to him was when Goyo's name was to be brought up. It hurt him to the core that he was meant to be the messenger, and yet, he doesn't know what to say at all since there were no words after that. It all made sense to him that his general was already expectant of his tragic end at Tirad. And yet... for those he had left, they couldn't just simply let it be.

He had left Julian to grieve with his family that night that he had returned with his younger brother from their stand at Tirad. After ensuring that the women were safe, he and José made the journey back to Bulacan with the sad news. And upon meeting them, Julian already knew what happened with the absence of the latter's younger brother with them. He knew that allowing the Del Pilar family to grieve on their own first was acceptable.

After all, death wasn't new for families who has a soldier as a relative. Especially husbands, fathers, sons and brothers. It was a parallel to what his own family had felt when his Kuya Etong had died just few years ago. And now... someone who've filled the vacant place of his Kuya also died.

Talagang nakatali ang inyong tadhana sa isa't isa ano, Kuya? Goyong?

He gulped in hard at the remembrance that his general would now remain as a memory than someone right in front of him leading an army, or next to him checking out the girls of every town they stayed on.

"Kuya!" José called out to him the following morning. He recently just woke up and had been staring for a long time already at the view of the open window, listening to the church bells.

He turned to the doorway where his younger brother was. "Bakit, José? Anong problema?"

José breathed in first before answering, "S-Si Koronel Del Pilar... Balita ko'y nawawala siya simula pa kagabi."

He frowned at that. "Di ba'y nakita pa natin siyang pumanhik ng bahay nila?"

"Oo, Kuya. Pero pagkatapos daw noon... Noong..." José was struggling with delivering the same notion he wanted to imply. Goyo's death remained a sensitive subject even between the two of them. "Kala raw nila'y babalik si Koronel. Pero hanggang ngayon ay wala silang kamalay-malay kung saan man tumungo ang koronel."

Vicente was already up when he heard that. He didn't even bothered changing to something proper; leaving the house in a rash on his evening garb. He didn't even replied back to the morning greeting at him as his mind was filled with thoughts about the whereabouts of his friend—his general's brother—the same man he already considered to be his older brother too.

There were many places to look out where the Colonel could be for there were too many places where they've played as children. But Vicente knew that the place should mean something; a place that would held good memories.

He had came across the church square, seeing that the early mass just finished that day. He remembered that time when they were in Dagupan, posing for a photo; at the same time that he had dreaded a church when it brought back memories of his Kuya Etong's death. But he still inquired on if there was someone from the churchgoers, who've seen the colonel. After all, they surely knew the colonel themselves, aside from being the older brother of the Boy General. And surely, they've also heard the news of the General's death already for him to be here and see none of the younger Del Pilar.

He couldn't stomach the condolence on the face and voice that had been evident on every person he had asked that after three questions and receiving three answers that they hadn't seen the colonel, he decided to search for another place.

He also met few soldiers of the Philippine Revolutionary Army who had been on patrols. The satchels that they have reminded him of being the one who was always on guard of Goyo's satchel, one that was now on the hands of the Americans when they've rejected giving him that for they consider it as a price trinket that they've won. The rifles that the soldiers now made him gulped hard, remembering that a much better one compared to those of theirs had killed Goyo in just a clean shot.

But the person he was searching for right now was found nowhere by anyone. Just assumptions of where since no one was yet to see him since last night. Everyone had mentioned that they've last seen Julian by the front steps of the small house of the Del Pilars.

Tangina naman, Julian, he mentally cursed himself. He bit his lip, suppressing himself from tearing up. Nasaan ka bang gago ka?

In the end, Vicente finally gave up the moment he reached the last place where he thought Julian would be. The sun was already up high when he reached the part of the river where they usually swam when they were children. Countless memories sprang from here—here where they learned how to swim, to hide from their parents, to just bask in the sun like carefree children with no care to the world, and to be simply happy.

He turned sideways, looking away from the water, and finally, he saw Julian right there. His figure a little obsured by the grass, and him being immobile there made him appear like a statue.

He carefully moved closer to where Julian was, clearly intent not to make his presence be known. But the older colonel seemed to have sensed his arrival already that he acknowledged without even turning to look at him. With a hoarse voice, he inquired, "Naalala mo noong nasa Dagupan tayo, Enteng? Yung bago dumating ang mga Amerikano sa mga dalampasigan ng Tarlac at Pangasinan?"

Vicente gulped in hard, remembering that night that Julian was referring to. He turned to the peaceful and undisturbed running water. "Oo. Yun noong si Goyong..."

Julian shook his head slightly, dismayed. "Yun pala ay may pinapahiwatig na si Goyong. Bakit hindi man ako nakaramdam noong mga panahon na iyon?"

"Julian..." He trailed off, knowing that he has a fair share as well of being guilty over the matter. After all, at that moment, he had rejected Goyo's assumption that he was to die and tell him instead that he was so much alive.

"Alam mo bang tinanong pa ako ni Goyong kung talaga bang kinakailangan na ako'y umuwi?" Julian sighed heavily before sniffing. His voice started to be mingled with a cry again. "Kung alam ko lang na... Sana'y hindi na lang ako umuwi. Sana'y sumama na lang ako sa inyo. Baka sana hindi..." He brushed his tears away with the back of his hand in a rush. "Tangina... Baka buhay pa ngayon si Goyong. Tapos ako siyang..."

Vicente wanted to say: Ako na ngang kasama ni Goyong ay walang nagawa...

But he decided against it, and instead, remarked, "Sa tingin mo... ano ang mararamdaman ni Goyong kung sumama ka at ikaw ang..." He gulped in hard. "...ikaw ang namatay. Ano sa tingin mo ang mararamdaman niya?"

Julian turned to him, eyes red with all the crying. He surely had cried his heart out since last night here. "Wala naman kasi talagang kailangang mamatay sa lahat ng ito. Alam na natin sa simula pa lamang na talo na tayo sa digmaan na ito... Ang ginagawa na lang natin ngayon ay ipamukha sa sarili natin na tayo ay namatay na lumalaban." He turned away again with that heavy frown on his face. "Enteng, matagal na napagdesisyunan ang dulo nitong giyera. Nagbubulag-bulagan lamang tayo." He punched his thigh in anger. "Kaya di dapat namatay si Goyong."

"Julian... alam ko na masakit. Maging ngayo'y di ko pa rin magawang tanggapin ang lahat ng nangyari. At sa kadahilanang nandoon ako at wala akong nagawa sa mga panahon na iyon... humihingi ako ng kapatawaran."

"Bakit ka humihingi sa akin ng tawad? Di naman ikaw yung bumaril sa kapatid ko."

"Pero nandoon ako noong nangyari iyon. Ang kawalan ko ng aksyon ang isa sa mga naging sanhi."

Julian didn't reply this time, but he remained quiet as he brushed away his tears.

Vicente could say so much that the only love that Julian knew was that of his love for Goyo, and now that his little brother was gone... he was lost without that love that he had known since Goyo was born.

Finally, Julian spoke, looking at the water this time, "Ganito ba dapat ang mangyari?"

He turned to where the older man was, waiting for the latter then to continue.

"B-Bakit?" Julian's voice quaked, making him shiver in fear. His voice then turned soft. "Bakit?"

Vicente didn't know what to tell Julian at that time as some sort of an assurance. But as he was lying on his deathbed few decades later, he realized that he knew the answer all along and had just been so afraid to tell it back then.

That the future everyone is, is a step closer to the thread that had been cut.

* * *

A/N: Follow me on twitter @23meraki for more updates. ;)

A/N: See "DEAD RECKONING", a Goyo x Reader story.

#GoyoAngBatangHeneralStories || #ProjectAguilaStories || #GoyoAngstStories