The pain in my leg was almost unbearable. I could feel hot blood running down my leg as I ran after my brother. I could see black spots in my vision, and I only prayed that I wouldn’t pass out before I took him down.

 I couldn’t let him become a murderer.

 Elliott wasn’t a good person. And it’s possible it wasn’t his fault, but he wasn’t good no matter how you looked at it. But that didn’t make him a murderer. Dying isn’t a good thing, but there are better ways to die, that don’t involve blood on your hands. He needed to realise that. Even if he wouldn’t be alive long enough to regret what he did.

 I wanted Coin dead as much as he did. But that didn’t mean I’d let him actually kill her.

 I was panting for breath. He was much further ahead, and moving quicker. But presumably he’d have to find her first. And I knew where she’d be.

 Alma Coin liked to work late. Alone. In her office. I hoped Elliott wouldn’t think to go there first. I hoped he’d look for her in her sleeping quarters. But still, I quickened my pace, despite the extra pain. I’d get there in time, even if it killed me.

 The stairs inside 13 were the next obstacle to conquer. At least they were all going down. But my body was covered in sweat by that point, and I had to stop several times to make sure I didn’t black out. By the time I reached Coin’s office, I knew he’d got there before me.

 The door was shut. I pressed my ear to the door. I could hear Elliott talking. Good. That meant she was alive. I turned the door knob slowly so he wouldn’t hear me. He wasn’t expecting me to follow him, I realised. He would have locked the door otherwise. Don’t you know me well enough by now, Elliott? I’ll always come after you.

 He didn’t see me enter. He has his eyes trained on Coin. And his knife. She was looking for her gun, but I knew where it was. She locked it in a safe each night.

 Idiot.

 “Elliott,” I said. He whipped around, eyes blazing. He laughed darkly.

 “You don’t give up easily, do you?”

 I wiped sweat from my forehead “Not my style.”

 He turned fully to me, dropping his knife to his side “You don’t understand. Just let me do it. No one has to know you were here.”

 I shook my head “No. I won’t let you die a murderer. You don’t want to do this.”

 “Oh but I do, Karissa. I couldn’t kill President Snow. Coin is second best.”

 I edged around him and stood in front of Coin, who watched me suspiciously “You’ll have to go through me first.”

 Elliott cracked his head to the side “You don’t think I will?”

 “That’s what worries me,” I whispered, taking my knife off my belt “I know you will.”

 Elliott grinned “Then come here, sis. No one leaves this room until someone dies.”

 All of a sudden, he lurched forward and tackled me to the ground. I was unprepared, and my knife slipped from my grasp. I cried out in pain as I felt his weight on my injured leg.I attempted to stab at his shoulder to get him off me, but he deflected me easily, pinning my arm to the ground.He punched me in the face and I felt my jaw crack from the incredible force of the blow. He repeated the motion over and over, until my nose bled, blood filling my vision. I just hoped Coin was contacting someone for help.

 Elliott seemed to realise I was half beaten and got off me to pursue Coin again.I managed to thrust my knee into the back of his knee and knock him to the ground, which gave me a minute to get myself together. I tumbled sideways, so that I was on top of Elliott, finally dominant in the battle. Droplets of my blood showered his face, and he looked up at me, grinning.

 “Aren’t you gonna end me?” he laughed “You know, it would speed things up…and then your precious President would get to live.”

 “You know that’s not how it is,” I said, trying to get him to talk to me. I didn’t have enough fight in me. I knew he could flip me and slice my neck at any second.

 “Are you sure?” Elliott easily sat up, despite my efforts to pin him back down. I was weak with the pain. I knew I must have lost a lot of blood too “I always thought you hated her as much as I do. As much as Mother.”

 “That’s not what matters here. This is about you. If you want to die, it doesn’t have to be this way. Please.”

 Elliott ignored me and made a stab at my face. I managed to grab his wrist and twist his arm behind his back, making him cry out in pain. Then he grinned and laughed.

 “It’s so sweet. Pain. It makes you feel so alive,” he whispered.

 “No, Elliott. There are other ways to feel alive,” I pleaded with him.

 “Not for me. Inflicting pain and feeling it…it's the only way. Can’t you see why I want it to end?”

 And finally I understood. Understood what it must be like to be him. I felt the tears start to fall and Elliott smiled, his blood stained hand brushing my face.

 “It’ll be better soon,” he told me. That was when Boggs and his other men charged into the room. Gale dragged me off Elliott and I watched as Elliott gave himself up to the soldiers. I screamed as they carried him away, but he only smiled.

 He never stopped smiling.

***

 When I woke up in the hospital, my leg had been bandaged and I was fit enough to stand. I knew I had to get to Elliott immediately.

 I jumped out of bed, discarding my morphine drip from my arm. I set straight for Coin’s office, and knocked hard on her door. She opened almost immediately.

 “It’s nice to see that some of the Verona-Grey family are still capable of knocking,” she said coolly “I’ve had rather rude visits from your family these past few days.”

 “This isn’t a joke,” I hiss “You know what I want. I want to see him. And I want a say in his punishment.”

 “There’s no debate. He’s to be executed. And he’s not allowed visitors.”

 “I saved your life,” I growled “You let me see him or I might just kill you myself.”

 Coin smiled tightly “It’s good to see you’ve got your fight back. Come on. I’ll take you to him.”

 She walked ahead of me and I thought of all the ways I could kill her. She’d deserve it, I knew. But I held myself back. I hadn’t given up on my life the way Elliott had. I hated it, and I wanted Coin dead to make everything okay again. But I couldn’t kill her. Not if I wanted my life to go anywhere.

 Elliott was kept in solitary. When I got to his prison’s door, I wasn’t allowed in. But through the bars of the door, I could see him. He spotted me and smiled sadly. He came to the bars and stuck his hand through. I let him take my hand, and he tenderly squeezed my fingers.

 “I’m sorry I hurt you,” he said. His voice cracked a little and tears sprung to his eyes. I felt a gasp catch in my throat. I’d never seen him cry before.

 “It’s OK.”

 “No, it’s not,” Elliott said, wiping his eyes with his free hand “You, Karissa. You’re the only person I’ve ever loved. You’re my other half. Mother and Father, they never understood me. Or Coin, or Uncle Drew, or anyone in this place. President Snow understood me, but he used me. You never wanted anything from me, but my love. And I couldn’t even give you that. All I’ve ever done is hurt you.”

 I pressed my forehead right up against the bars. The bruises on my face hurt, but Elliott was right. Pain can sometimes remind you you’re alive. And I needed reminding then. Nothing felt real “Elliott. It’s OK. And if you have to go…I can help you.”

 He gripped my hand harder “Thank you.”

 “I…I have to speak with Coin about it now.”

 Elliott nodded. We both knew the next time we’d see each other would be at his execution. I let go off his hand slowly, and he gripped the bars as he watched me walk away. I could feel his eyes on me. When I got half way down the corridor, he called my name. And of course, I went running.

 “Rissa,” he called again and I stood before him again.

 “I’m here.”

 “Rissa…don’t tell Mother you saw me cry. Don’t tell anyone.”

 I leant through the bars to kiss his sweaty forehead “I won’t tell a soul.”

 He looked up at me, all sad eyes, and I felt a hundred metres tall, looking down at a tiny ant about to be crushed. He licked his dry lips “I love you.”

 I knew I wouldn’t hear him say it again. He had too much pride to tell me in his last moments. He wanted to go out silent. Stone cold.

 “I love you too, brother.”

***

 Coin granted my request, after a lot of arguing and shouting and crying. It was decided that the execution would be a family affair. Only me, Mother, Father, Uncle Drew and Finch were present. Coin presented me a gun with one bullet in it to do the job.

 “Dispose of him discreetly afterwards. I want no further involvement with him, and I don’t want word of his attempt to kill me spreading,” she hissed. I remember wishing I’d used the bullet on her instead. But I needed to keep my promise to Elliott. He wanted to go. And I was going to let him.

 We were given a private, unused room for the job. Elliott leant his back against the wall as we all gathered around him. His face was void of emotion, but he did permit my mother to hug him, and then each of us in turn. I tried to cling to him a little longer, but he wasn’t having any of it. He pulled away as quickly as he could, as though I was hurting him. Maybe I was. And maybe he was scared he’d change his mind.

 As everyone stepped away from my brother, the room was silent. I pressed the gun to his forehead and he watched me steadily from the other end.

 “I want you to know,” he said quietly “That I’m dying anyway. Killing me…you’re saving me from a harsher fate.”

 My lip trembled “What do you mean?”

 Elliott sighed, his hands gripped into fists “President Snow poisoned me. His best weapon. And it will kill me slowly. Painfully. It was to make sure I didn’t back out of the job. He thought…he thought if I was dying anyway, I would be fearless. That I wouldn’t have anything stopping me fulfilling the task. And he had to punish me for what I tried to do to him. He just…he just didn’t consider that I might have family stopping me making the wrong choice.”

 Tears spilt on my face “Yeah. What’s family for, right?”

 He smiled. And then he closed his eyes, looking peaceful. “Do it.”

 My hand was shaking. I felt my Mother’s hands on my shoulders. I whispered my goodbye. And I shot my brother in the head.

 I felt his blood hit my face. I felt my knees crumple. And I felt that bullet rip right through my heart.

 Elliott was gone.