(Chapter- 04 Cold shoulder)

Warnings:
• Language
• OC introduction(?)
• angst(?)
• very negative thoughts
• ⚠️= Triggering subjects
• ❌ = Triggering subjects end
• Tears
And others
VEIWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED

(I'll be adding an OC as one of bakugos few people he can trust
they will be one of the three that currently know of his struggles and will be a best friend but not a love interest, they are gender fluid and pansexual as well as demisexual hope you like 'em)
~

Bakugo's POV:

After leaving dekus room I felt better and worse at the same time
When I'm with deku or around anyone at all it keeps most of the thoughts away..

The scariest place I've ever been wasn't an abandoned street or even the villains when they took me

In fact stitch bitch boi listened to me rant and even made me a drink

No.. the scariest place I've ever been is my mind while I'm alone...

-

I hadn't even realized I was at my dorm until I looked up from my feet and was at my door

I walked in and kicked off my slippers to some random corner of the dark room

I liked my room dark

I liked the quiet

but I also enjoyed the chatter of peers in the common room

Sadly today wasn't one of the days where my mind was happy enough to fake an attitude and be around people

That thought scared me

Because then I started thinking into it more

They don't like me

They think I'm a monster

I'm just an asshole to them

They aren't my friends

Nobody wants me here

I can't become a hero if I can't even suck it up and get over myself

Aizawa is annoyed with me, he doesn't want to teach me

I'd be better off gone

Idiot.. I'm just a monster to everyone

monster

Monster

Monster

Monster

MONSTER

I felt tears running down my face as I gripped my arms and fell to the floor sitting down, placing my head in my hands

I was shaking and my breathing was raspy and quick

I scratched at the scars on my upper wrist and started rubbing my thighs through the checkered pj bottoms

I knew if I was left alone for a second longer I would do something I'd regret

'I can't.. oh god.... it's been too long I need to.. I can't fight it ohgodohgodohgod-'

(⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️)

I had subconsciously stood up and started pacing across my dorm

To the door
Turn
To the bed
Back

To the door
Turn
To the bed
Back

To the door
-..Turn
To the... dresser

Stop

I shakily opened my sock drawer and moved some shorts aside revealing the small black ring box I keep them in

I closed the dresser and walked over to my bed, sitting on it I took the lid off the small box and took out a blade

I rolled up the sleeves of my black pj shirt and looked at all the scars decorating my skin

They were mostly on my upper wrist and mid part of my arm so I could slightly roll up my sleeves while doing dishes or washing my hands

I slowly brought the blade to my wrist and glided it across my arm

It took a second but slowly the cut started to sprout red slightly
beads of blood gathering

I never did bleed a lot no matter how hard I pushed

'It probably had something to do with using a shitty pencil sharpener'

(❌TRIGGER END❌)

I don't know why I did
But I started crying

I couldn't call deku because he was sleeping
Nobody else cares-...

Xan...

I could call them..

They know anyways and they go to UA so we could meet up and talk in the common room....

I was doing so well to..
I hadn't done it in almost two weeks

I'm so fucking weak-

Shit..

I gotta clean this up and call xan....

(A/N; Pronounced: Zan)

(664 Words)