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Chapter Quote:
"But I'd be tempted to see if I could convince you to stop acting like the proper lady your mother wants you to be."
~Ren Laroche, Nightshade
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Chapter 48

Ren

Elsa had fallen asleep on my shoulder in Arya's infirmary room. Halfway through the night my daughter groggily shifted into a wolf and curled up on the couch in a tiny ball. I smiled down at her, reminiscing about when she used to do that as a child. Elsa never remembered shifting into a wolf so it was always kind of amusing watching her wake up because she'd always be so confused about what was going on.

I was still upset she'd gone after Anna but I now understood to the full extent why she had. Kicking her out of the pack had been one of the hardest things I'd ever done, but it was necessary. Besides, although the consequences were bad for her and she now had a lot to figure out, I was pretty sure Elsa was relieved. Her loyalties between us and the Stark pack had been taxing on her. Maybe now that she had official neutral grounds, it wouldn't be so difficult for her. Besides, she understood now why I did it. For the first time in the past two years, our relationship was good.

I was going to wait until the end of the war to invite her back into the pack, and Elsa knew this. So did Anna. That had been the plan if Elsa ever was kicked out of the pack after the first threat of it. I never actually thought it'd happened but I'd underestimated my daughter's tenacity. I shouldn't have, considering she was my daughter. She was too much like me. She looked like my wife, she acted like my wife, but in the end, she was still somehow just like me. It was a difficult concept to explain.

I was in my own thoughts, trying to figure out when this war was going to end, when I heard a shout from the hallway. Curious as to who might be disturbing the peace, I got up to check outside. I also didn't want them waking up my daughter. I wasn't worried about Arya waking up, no matter how awful that sounds. Her heartbeat remained steady no matter what happened around her. She had no idea what was going on. I was almost glad about that. It would kill her to know what was going on in the pack right now.

When I poked my head outside, I saw Hunter beating up a human I didn't recognize but the person put up just as big of a fight. His strength equaled my son's.

I hurriedly shut the door so Elsa wouldn't wake up to the commotion before going to intervene.

"It's all your fault!" Hunter hissed at the stranger. "You're the reason she got kicked out of the pack!"

"She made her own choices!" the guy said, kicking Hunter in the gut. I caught my son by the arms, preventing him from going after the guy any further. The stranger seemed to have no intentions of attacking unless further provoked, but he continued his rant. "And our dad didn't have to kick her out of the pack!"

I froze. He'd just said 'our dad'. But I didn't know this guy... I didn't recognize him. Of course, I couldn't see his face either.

"She never would've gone to find you if your beta didn't get close to her!" Hunter shouted, struggling to get out of my arms. "What makes you so special?! Tell Caleb to either invite her in his pack or stay the hell away from her. He needs to make up his damn mind about being in her life."

"What's going- Stark!" Elsa exclaimed, rushing up to him. He was leaning against the wall, head hanging down, rubbing his cheek. I had a feeling he was keeping his head down just so people wouldn't see his face rather than from him being hurt. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Hunter, go back to you room. Now," I ordered. I let go of him. He stalked off angrily.

"He did a number on you," Elsa remarked. "Do you need blood?"

"Nah, I'm fine. Besides, not the first time it's happened," he joked.

"This isn't the first time my son's attacked you?"

"Another time was when he was trying to kill Elsa after someone spiked his drink."

"What did you mean when you called me 'our dad'?"

"What?" Stark asked, his body going rigid. Elsa snapped her head up to look at me.

"You told Hunter that 'our dad didn't have to kick her out of the pack'. Now either I've had an affair that I have no memory of or-"

"Elsa, maybe you should go check on Hunter," Stark interrupted.

"Will you be okay?" She queried.

"I'll be fine. This was going to happen sooner or later."

My daughter kissed him on the side of the head before getting up and jogging after her brother. She gave me a small smile as she went past me. It was only until she was out of ear shot that Stark said, "Well you didn't have an affair. Not that I know of."

I slowly walked up to him. Stark finally, fully, looked up at me. I studied his face, realizing just how much his face shape resembled mine, how his eyes matched Arya's. His mouth was like mine but his nose was like Arya's. He'd taken on the darker shade of Arya's hair, verging between a light brunette and a dirty blonde. There was only one person it could be but it was too unfathomable. How had I not put the pieces together?

"Are you going to say something or you just going to stare at me? I mean I know I'm devilishly handsome but it's creeping me out now," he said.

"Caleb?" I managed to ask.

"Hey dad. Long time no see." I grabbed my son, pulling him into a hug. He froze in my grip, as if unsure of what to do.

"You've been here this whole time," I said when I pulled away. "That's why you'd never change in front of us. You knew we'd recognize you. And that's why Elsa has been so loyal to you and your pack. How did I not-"

"In your defense, you've been dealing with a war and a much bigger pack than I have."

"Did mom know?"

Caleb hung his head. "Yeah. I told her right before she... right before the Searchers took her away to the infirmary. But I've been talking to her on the phone almost every day for a couple of weeks now. I was on my way to come see her when I came across Hunter."

"Then let's go see her." As if in a dream, I walked side by side with my long lost son. We were talking like nothing had ever happened, but I knew at some point it was going to be brought up. Caleb didn't seem to want to talk about it so I was going to have to initiate it. The two of us sat down in chairs. The couch was too cramped and if Caleb had kept his secret from us this long, I doubt he wanted to suddenly get cozy with us now.

"How's she doing?" he inquired.

"She's stable. She's making it through the night. The doctors don't know how but I'm not complaining. I don't care if there's a medical explanation for how she's pulling through this. I'm just going to accept the miracle she is."

"She has a pack to come back to."

Silence.

"Who else knows besides Elsa and mom?" I finally asked.

"Josilyn. The night that we sent up that howl, it'd been me and Lily. Spencer had snuck over to your house to check on Elsa because we'd been worried since we hadn't heard from her. Spencer offered her a place in our pack and Josie overheard. To get her to understand why Elsa was so dead set on protecting me, I told her who I was. Maybe Josilyn kept it a secret to prevent Elsa from getting into any more trouble or maybe she respected my request to not tell any of you. I don't know."

"Why didn't you want us to know?"

"I figured it'd cause more havoc than you needed if I came back into your lives. I guess I ended up doing that anyway."

"Did you ever plan on coming back?"

"I... I wanted to come home the moment I left, but I was scared to, not to mention I'd be embarrassed and wouldn't have been able to bear to face you all. I just... I felt there was no turning back and I really believed leaving was the best thing I could do for the pack. That way Hunter didn't have to vie for the alpha position, you and mom wouldn't have to deal with two sons who were always at each other's throats and dredging up the past, and Elsa and Ember wouldn't keep getting caught in the middle of mine and Hunter's arguments. I shouldn't have left, and I regret not having at least called you guys to let you know I was okay, especially mom and Elsa since I'd always been closest to them, but knowing what I do now, I don't know if I'd change it."

"Is it because of Lily?"

"Her and Spencer. Their adoptive parents took me in. Lily was already alpha, Spencer was beta, Callie was omega. I almost came back at the end of the summer of the year I left but I stayed because I didn't feel judged there. Mom never blamed me for what happened so I never felt judged by her, Elsa never judged me or blamed me but every time I looked at her, all I could think about was how I failed to keep her sister safe. Ember blamed me for Anna's death even though she never said anything. She cared too much about Elsa's feelings and knew if she said anything, Elsa would be so upset. Hunter was extremely vocal about his blame and judged me outright."

"Did you think I'd judge you?"

"I thought you already were. I don't know dad... I guess it seemed to me you never treated me the same after it happened. You never let me stay home by myself or go somewhere by myself or if I did it was to go grab a coffee from a drive-thru and then come straight home."

"Let me make this clear: I never blamed you for Anna's death nor did I ever judge you about anything. If I treated you differently, it was unintentional. I'll admit I was more worried about you after because I know how hard it hit you. I wanted to protect you. If you hadn't harbored the feelings of guilt and embarrassment, would you have come back home?"

"No..."

"Why?"

He hesitated. "I didn't think I'd be welcome."

My shoulders sagged. "Caleb, you will always be welcome home, no matter what."

"Then why'd you make it treason to search for me after I left?"

"Because I knew you didn't want to be found and I needed to get your mother to see that. She refused to let up and it was affecting the pack."

"I nearly caused you two to divorce..."

"No you didn't. I promise."

My son hung his head. "I'm sorry dad. I'm sorry for everything."

"Don't be. I'm sorry we weren't able to help you more. We made you feel like running away was the only option. We're the only ones at blame here."

"If I survive this war, I'll come clean with everyone in the pack, if you and mom allow me to."

"Of course we would. That's your decision. You didn't want to come back and I know you're going back to Canada after this war but could you call us at least? Just to let us know you're okay?"

"Yeah."

"Then that's all I ask. You're an alpha now, and a damn good one. I'm proud of you."

Caleb finally looked up at me. His face was red, tears were welling in his eyes. He'd been trying not to cry but for some reason, my words seem to have broken him.

"She's going to pull through right? If she's hung on this long..." Caleb began.

"She is. Because she not only has a pack to come back to, but a son who needs his mother again."

Caleb sniffed, rubbing his nose. "Is everything okay between you and Elsa?"

"Yeah. We talked things out."

"You mean you let her back in the pack?"

"No, she's still without a pack, but she has the option of coming back into it after the war. If she doesn't though, would you take her in?"

"In a heartbeat."

"Good. I just want to know she has a place somewhere. She always struggled to fit in with the pack after Anna died and you left."

"I'll take care of her if she does. I don't want her going through any more than she already has."

I smiled. "I know you won't."
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Hunter

I didn't go to my room. I went to Anna's instead. She was sitting in her hospital bed, watching TV. She smiled tiredly at me when I entered, giving me a small 'hi.'

"How are you feeling?" I asked, sitting next to her.

"Like something just happened to Elsa. My emotions shot up but I could tell they weren't mine this time. Did something happen between you two?"

"No. She and dad just stopped me from attacking Stark. The bastard is the reason Elsa got kicked out of the pack. He let her go after you. He didn't even try and stop her. Yes, I wanted to go after you too but we needed time to figure out a game plan. He just... let her waltz in there with hardly any back up. It's all his fault."

"Elsa didn't get kicked out of the pack for rescuing me," Anna said.

"Why else would she be kicked out?"

"Because dad realized how much her loyalties were divided and knew it was causing her too much internal problems. He kicked her out so she wouldn't feel guilty about being loyal to one pack over the other when she obviously cares for both. He's letting her come back into the pack after the war. If she wants to. Her going after me was just the excuse he gave to the pack so they would think he followed through with the threat so they don't question him."

I blinked in shock at my little sister. "Is that true?"

"Dad told me about it after Elsa came and visited me. I'm sure she knows by now."

I groaned. "So I just attacked Stark for no reason?"

"Pretty much."

"I should go apologize to him..."

"It'd make me very happy if you did, not to mention Elsa."

"I understand she's loyal to the pack because they know Caleb but why is she so loyal to him? Are you sure she's not dating Stark instead of Spencer?"

Anna snorted. "I'm positive. Elsa only has eyes for Spencer."

"... Do you think she'll want to come back to the pack? And be honest with me."

"She'll come back."

"Why do I have a feeling there's a 'but' to that sentence?"

My sister sighed. "But she's not necessarily going to want to do it completely. Her loyalties will always be torn between us and the Starks because of Spencer and Caleb. She'll stay out of duty to the pack."

"If she chose the Starks over us, what would you do?"

"I'd go with her."

"Hunter?" Elsa piped from the doorway. "Are you okay?"

I turned around. "What are you doing here?"

"Stark told me to come check on you."

"Why?"

"I guess to make sure you were okay? What were you beating him up for anyway?" Elsa queried, stepping into the room.

"I blamed him for you getting kicked out of the pack. Anna has just informed me that that's not the case. Not entirely at least. Stark okay?"

"He's fine."

"Elsa, did dad tell you about the reason he really kicked you out?"

"Because of my divided loyalties? Yes."

"Are you going to come back at the end of the war? To the pack?"

"Yes."

"Because you want to? Or you feel obligated to?"

"Why does it matter?"

"Of course it matters, Elsa. It means whether you're happy or not."

"I'd be happy in either yours or Caleb's pack. I'm ambivalent to the whole thing."

"Are you though? You've shown more loyalty to their pack these past few months than to us. It's more than them just knowing Caleb or you dating Spencer... whoa, whoa, whoa, you two aren't engaged are you?"

"No, we're not engaged. I just keep finding engagement rings. Yours to Josilyn, Starks to Lily... wait, that's a secret. You can't tell anyone I just said that! Wait, Spencer isn't going to propose to me is he?!"

Anna laughed. "No, he's not."

"Oh thank god. I'm not ready to get married yet. Hell, we're going to be split up after this war anyway and long distance never works even though we're going to try it."

"He'd have to ask for mine and dad's permission first if he does and Caleb would probably want to give his permission to as well. Has Spencer talked to you about this or something?"

"Oh he just said that if he was the guy I ended up marrying, he'd have to buy the ring the day he was going to propose so I wouldn't find the ring."

"How did you find mine when I was going to ask Josilyn?"

"I dropped an earring under your bed and found the ring when I was searching for it. Stark was keeping his taped under the top side of a drawer. I found it when I stuck my hand in the drawer trying to find something for him. My hand brushed against the box."

"Spencer's probably right. I'm going to warn your future husband, whoever that may be, to buy the ring the day he's going to propose to you," I remarked.

Elsa grinned. "I can't believe you think I'm going to get married."

"Aren't you?"

"Hunter. It's taken me nineteen years just to have my first kiss, let alone a boyfriend. It'll probably take me another nineteen years to decide on a husband," she joked.

"But mom and dad are going to want grandkids!"

"You do realize they have four other kids for that right?"

"Are you telling me that you and Spencer haven't-"

Elsa blushed furiously. "No, we haven't. We're taking things slow."

"That kiss in the garden after he told you he loved you was anything but slow. It looked like you two were about to go down right then and there," Anna quipped.

"What do you mean we- hang on, you saw that?!" Elsa demanded.

"Uh... Dom and I might've spied on you two... out of curiosity. We left after you two started kissing."

Elsa narrowed her eyes at her sister. Anna gulped. I smiled at the two of them. For that brief moment, it felt like there was no war, no divided loyalties, no past tragedies, no missing siblings, no injured parents. For that brief moment, I felt like I was talking about something other kids my age would be relatively talking about. Love lives, boyfriends and girlfriends, spying on siblings... it seemed so normal, and normal was in short supply in my life.

"Sorry?" Anna apologized sheepishly.

Elsa shrugged. "I probably would've done the same to you and Dom."

"Hey!"

"What's going on with you and Dom anyways? You two are officially dating right?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"Yes. Did his scent all over me not give that away?"

"You can have sex without being in a relationship. Just ask Noah and Ember."

"Well yes, we're dating. Why?"

"Need to give him the big brother talk."

"Dom doesn't need that talk. He already got it from Elsa."

I turned to my sister. "That true?"

"Yes. Trust me, he doesn't need it."

"I mean he already knows I approve of him, I just want to... reiterate Elsa's point I guess."

"Hunter," Anna said, raising her eyebrows at me.

"Fine..." I muttered.

The two girls laughed. Elsa sat down on the end of Anna's bed. The three of us continued talking well into the night, acting like regular siblings: talking, arguing, teasing... I remembered doing this before everything happened and I thought that maybe if Ember and Caleb were here (despite me wanting to give Caleb a good berating for getting Elsa into bad situations recently), it'd be like old times, where we all got along, when the arguing was trivial rather than serious.

I was mad at Caleb, don't get me wrong. But not for getting Anna killed. Not anymore at least. I was mad at him for what he put my family through. I was mad at him for abandoning Elsa when she was so close to him. I was mad at him for nearly causing mom and dad to divorce. I was mad at him for letting Elsa go see the Starks when he knew that the Hunters were after us. I was mad at him for letting her go rescue Anna with only six people as backup, including himself.

But I still wanted him here. He was still family. And I knew I was the reason he'd run off in the end. In the end, I knew everything had happened because I couldn't move past the death of my sister. When and if Caleb and I ever saw each other again, we'd need to have a long talk because we'd both have a list of grievances against each other that would need to be addressed before we could move on with our lives. But I wanted to. I wanted my little brother back.
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