A/n: Jason is in love with Dick but Dick is currently involved with Barbara. This chapter is based off of the song: "I hate you I love you"
The song will be above. This is gonna be sorta a song fic. I don't own the song or the characters, just the idea behind this chapter.
Enjoy.  :)

Jason laid still in his bed, looking up at his ceiling in the dark. He kept remembering the first time he met Dick, and all the times afterwards. Dick was so amazing, yeah at first he was a bit standoffish but it wasn't because of him, it was because of Bruce/batman.

Dick, he became his big brother. He was always there for him and over the years, he slowly started to fall in love with him. He couldn't understand it or why but all he knew was that he was in love with him, not like a brother or friend kind of love. Jason tried to hide his feelings the best he could but Dick being as smart as he was realized it right away.

Jason got his hopes up but nothing moved forward, nothing grew between the two of them, well at least not for Dick. Jason was still in love with him and he couldn't stop it.

Now, Dick had a girlfriend and that made everything hurt so much more.

Feeling used...still missing you.

Jason felt like he was pushed to the side, not important enough in Dick's life anymore. He hated feeling like he was invisible to him but he still missed Dick, still loved him deeply.

All this time is passing by, but I still can't seem to tell you why it hurts me every time I see you

Dick, he seemed so happy. He was blind to see Jason in pain, his heart sore and broken from the lack of love he wanted. Every time he saw Dick with Barbara, it hurt, it hurt so bad and he couldn't say anything to him about it. Couldn't tell Dick that he wished...wanted to be in his arms, to be the one Dick kissed instead of his girlfriend. But Jason stayed quite about it, about it all.

I hate you. I love you. I hate that I love you. Don't want to be can't put nobody else above you.

Jason was so angry with himself, how could he fall in love with someone who was like a big brother to him. He tried to forget Dick, tried to met someone to distract him from his feelings towards Dick. But no matter what he did, he couldn't love anyone like he loved Dick, it was only Dick and no one else could compare to him.

I hate you, I love you. I hate that I want you.
You want her, you need her and I'll never be her.

Jason could see that Dick and Barbara were getting closer, spending more time together and it killed him on the inside. Dick was with her, he was in love with her and not him. And Jason hated that. He hated that he fell in love with Dick in the first place and he hated that he was still in love with him now.

Friends can break your heart too.

They were friends, brothers and now there was this huge space between them and it held pain and suffering in it. He felt so alone and unloved and it wasn't Dick's fault but his own.

Jason closed his eyes and remembered when Dick told him he knew, he knew Jason had a crush on him. Dick told him that it probably would go away but it didn't, it only grew stronger.
Holding his eyes tightly he remembered that one night, Dick woke up screaming at the tops of his lungs. Jason flew into Dick's room as fast as his feet could take him. He remembered wrapping his arms around him and holding Dick safe within his arms as Dick cried and had a panic attack. Then next thing Jason knew, he was pressing his lips against Dick's and after a second, Dick kissing him back.

That made Jason think Dick had feelings for him too but was too afraid to admit them so he pushed him away and hid it. So many times Jason tired to get Dick to open up, and he got close a few times, with some hand holding but that was it and the next thing Jason knew, Dick had a girlfriend.

Keep it on the low, you're still in love with me but your friends don't know

So Jason guessed that Barbara was for show, to hide his true feelings but he knew Dick and he knew Dick would never play someone like that, so some part of him actually cared about her. Jason just wished he cared more about him.

I just miss you on my arm.

Jason rolled his eyes. He didn't know what to do, say, or how to move on.

Jason rolled over in his bed and held his phone, fingers hovering over the keypad to send Dick a text.
The night he and Barbara got into a fight, Jason would never forget. Dick came over wasted, he was super drunk and he came to Jason as a huge mess.

They talked for hours before Dick lean over and kissed him then broke down crying because of it, because of his feelings and for cheating on Barbara. They laid in bed together side by side, holding one another in each others arms, feeling relaxed. Whispers of wanting this to last, Dick saying he wanted to stay with him.
It felt right but it didn't last long.

Lie to me. Lie with me get your fucking fixed.

And all my feelings are all fucking mixed.

Jason tossed his phone down and laid there in his bed, in pain of a broken heart.

All alone I watch you watch her.

You don't care you never did, you don't give a damn  about me!

A single tear escaped his eye and ran down his face.

Yeah all alone I watch you watch her she's the only thing you've ever seen.
How is it you never notice
that you are slowly killing me.

Jason then curled up into a small ball in his bed, covers tucked around him, piece of him pretending it was Dick's arms around him, holding onto him tightly. He slowly and sightly began to cry, alone in his apartment.

I hate you
I love you
I hate that I love you

As Jason laid there and silently cried himself to sleep, his cell phone buzzed.

The called ID read: Dickie bird

Jason began to sob more into his arms.