A/N: Dick has Depression and has recently began to self harm. He is struggling a lot and is scared and fearful of telling his family the truth.
*Warning! Mentions of self harm and suicidal thoughts and actions, end result suicide.*

Dick has Depression. He knew that, Bruce knew it and so did Alfred. He tried his best to hide it, tried his hardest to not allow it it to swallow him up. He tried his best to just force himself to be happy but he was finding out that it was way harder than that.

No matter how much he wanted to be happy, to be and feel 'normal', he just couldn't. 

Some mornings he would wake up and right away just feel down and as if the world was too big, too much for him to handle. Those mornings he would refuse to leave his bed, sometimes because he just didn't want to but mostly because he just couldn't get up. 

He would either sleep none or sleep all day long. He was losing his energy, his drive, his will to live. But, the fear of Bruce, his father, seeing him weak and a freak, someone who he would no longer want to have at his home, at his side in the field, and in his life and heart. So, Dick did what he always did, he put on a mask and pretended all was fine. That he was fine. This was the first time he put on a mask.
He did it soon after his parents died before his eyes, he did it when The Joker kidnapped him for the first time and beat him, leaving scars upon his body, his first scars. He did it now with his nightmares. 

Dick now began to feel like he was drowning and that everyone was standing around but no one could see him, no once noticed his struggle, his pain, his reality. And that left him more hurt and more alone, but he continued to put on his mask, along side his hero one. Dick managed to convince everyone around him that he was alright and at days even himself but the truth was, he wasn't alright. He hasn't been alright in awhile and he felt his mask slipping each day that past, each day and hour his depression attacked him, leaving him feel alone and hopeless.

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Dick currently was struggling with the thoughts of should he or shouldn't reach out and tell his family. His depression had finally reached a new level, self harm. 
He tried to act strong, but with a broken heart and scars hidden upon his wrists. Because he just wanted, he just wanted to feel something. 
Numbness had taken over him and it wasn't letting him go, not for one second.

He wants to tell Jason, his little brother, but he doesn't want to give Jason any ideas and he doesn't want his brother too see him as weak. 
Jason was only a few years younger than him, and on late nights when he was alone and felt so lonely he just wanted to pour his heart and soul out to his brother. To have someone for the first time by his side, someone to be there and for some to hug him, to hold him tight when the world was too frighting, when he was lost within himself. But, Dick couldn't bring himself to confess.

He didn't want to tell Bruce because he didn't want to see the hurt, disappointment and hatred in his eyes, he was so scared of disappointing Bruce, the man who took him in when he had no one else, after he lost his whole world. He was worried about what Bruce would think about him, how he would treat him knowing just how broken he truly was.

He didn't tell Tim because, Timmy was way too young to understand the situation and he knew that Tim in a way looked up to him because he was his big brother. He didn't tell Alfred because he couldn't stand the look of pity on the old man's face, the sadness in his eyes. Alfred was like a grandfather to him and he just couldn't break Alfred's heart like that.

Dick tired his best to hide the fact that he was still having nightmares, Bruce would ask him about it but, he would always say that they have stopped but even he knew that Bruce could tell. He could tell by the glances Bruce threw his way, how he has grown thinner, paler and had dark circles under his beautiful eyes. He would once in a while wake up screaming at the top of his lungs, Bruce used to run into his room when he would wake up like that but now that he was lying and hiding the truth so much, Bruce would simply knock upon his bedroom door and ask if he was alright. He would try his best to say that he was fine, that everything was alright and not allow the shakiness enter his voice, he would often hear Bruce sigh and say okay before walking away, leaving Dick once more all alone.

His depression keep kicking him down. His mind was slowly becoming filled with thoughts on how he wasn't enough, that he didn't matter, he has no place and that everyone he loved didn't love him. Dick felt unloved, unwanted and that it might be better if he wasn't around anymore, that they wouldn't ever notice or care.

He continued to cut and cut, he tried to stop but he couldn't. For he had become addicted to it and that alone scared the crap out of him. He slowly began to cut more and now a bit deeper, in a way bringing himself closer towards that edge.

He didn't know when he would do it, all he knew was the thought was always there in the back of his mind. He figured that he would know when the time was right, when the world lost all of its color, where he finally became too cold and numb, when his eyes lost their light of hope for the very last time.

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After a long and large fight with Bruce, Dick hit his limit. He had enough, he's done enough...he was done.

He slowly set his away upstairs from the Bat cave and into his bedroom. He closed his bedroom door behind him and locked it, keeping his darkness inside once more, hidden away from the others. 
He walked over towards his nightstand and gently picked up an old photo of his parents, tears brimming within his eyes. He for once allowed the mask he wore for too long to finally fall from his face and now staring down at the photo, seeing his old self in it, full of light, love and happiness and then turning to face the mirror and not recognizing the face, the person looking back. Dick inhaled sharply and shook with sobs as all his walls he had built up over years, came crashing down upon him. 

He quickly grabbed his blade, the very same blade he has been using for some time now. He made a few cuts here and there but nothing too deep that would kill him because a thought came to his mind. 

What he wanted, what Dick has always really wanted was to be reunited with his parents. The people in the whole world loved him more than anything, the people he loved and cried for every single night no matter how old he gotten. 
Falling. 
That was how they died, that was how they were taken from him and that, that was how he was going to go out. He always thought, knew that he should have fallen right along side his parents, that he should have died a long time ago too. 

So he quickly wrote down a note, tear stains left upon it and with one last look around his bedroom, the room he hide everything, including himself in since the moment they had died, the moment his heart shattered, the moment he felt the numbness and the moment were he broke. He then reached for his phone and looked at a family picture or himself, Bruce, Alfred, Jason and Tim. 
A sad smile crept across his pale face and he watched droplets of tears land down upon his phone. He dropped it down upon his bed and made his way towards his window. Once outside he climbed his way up to the roof.

Little did he know, Bruce was upset in the Batcave, yes about the fight but also for the hurtful words he throw at his eldest son. He felt so guilty the second after he saw the hurt look flash across Dick's face, a look of defeat held within his once bright blue eyes, now dull and lifeless. 
Dick also didn't know that both Jason and Tim were marching their way up towards his bedroom to check up on him, for they both saw something that sent fear running down their backs. 

Dick now on the roof, looked out at his home. He inhaled and turned around slowly, closing his eyes. 
Flashes of his parent's deaths flashed before his eyes and tears continued to stream down his checks. Dick slowly lifted his arms out wide. Standing on the edge of the roof, he leaned back slightly, slowly allowing gravity to take him away.

"The Flying Grayson!" he heard Mr. Haly shout out in his mind and he saw his parent's smiling faces. A sad smile came upon his as he began to fall downwards, which wasn't something new for him. He has felt like he was falling down a black hole for so long now. His depression had won, his sadness and pain took over everything. His life he once knew was gone and taken away from him too damn long ago.

"I'm going Mami and Tati...I'm finally coming.'' Dick whispered as wind rushed past him, gravity pulling him quickly towards the ground.

Just before he met the ground he heard his name shouted and at first thought it was his mom. He clearly remembered her arms out towards him, sadness filling in her beautiful eyes and her whispering his name for the last time. The very last thing she ever said.
"Dick."
But it wasn't his mother this time saying his name it was his brothers, the brothers he was so sure would be fine without him, the brothers he had figured didn't care about were now watching him fall towards his death just as he did with his parents. And a sharp pain filled inside his chest, for he was casing the same pain to them that was cased upon him all those years ago, and now Dick was having regrets, second thoughts but it was all too late. Before he could act, he felt the cold, hard ground and then....nothing.