I hugged Nila closely before the entrance to the spirit world. And then I hugged Àlvar even harder.

"You'll do this. You'll finish it," he murmured into my hair. "And when you're done. When you're old and grey, you'll join me here."

I swallowed a sob and nodded, pulling back from my oldest brother. "I'll hug Quinn for you."

He smiled and nodded. "Yeah, he'll love that for sure."

I snorted and turned to Dy and Barr. "Are we ready?"

"Yep," Dy said and offered me a single nod.

I hoisted up in the backpack we had gotten, filled with food and other essentials. We had all three gotten one. Barr looked excited, bouncing around and urging us to hurry up. And Dy. Dy looked strong. Fierce. She had fixed and washed her beloved jacket, her hair was tied up in a messy bun, balancing on top of her head, and the strong expression on her face was back.

Nila grabbed my hand before I had the chance to leave. "Remember, I'm always with you. We are one now." She smiled and cupped my cheek with their other hand.

I swallowed something and nodded.

"I'll always help you."

I nodded again, not able to get a word out. I gave her hand a squeeze instead and turned my back on her and my brother. On my sanctuary. And then we started through the tunnel. It wasn't as long as I remembered. Before I knew it, we were out between the glaciers, the icy winds biting my cheeks. Everything was white here. There was no life, no trees, not even a bird. It was all just a frozen, dead land.

We were going to Paamut, going all the way around the mountain pass that separated the three mountain tribes and then to the Bursaaq harbour. Hopefully we could catch a ship that would take us to the Paamut capital. From there, we'd get a car and drive back to Aatskina. The trip was going to be long and rough and I wasn't looking forward to it.

We had been walking in silence for a good while and then Barr's bag started chirping. His eyes widened and he opened the bag, putting his hand down into it.

"What do you have there, bud?" Dy asked and arched a brow at him.

"Uhm..." he said and looked up, hesitantly meeting her gaze. "I could not leave her." He took out a small very bright pink bird. It fit perfectly in his hand.

"You brought a bird? From the sanctuary? On what might be a suicide mission?"

"She imprinted on me!" he said frantically. "I am her mum."

Dy sighed very deeply and glanced over at me. I shrugged. I had no idea what we'd do with a spirit bird on a trip like this.

"Just keep her quiet, okay?" I sighed deeply and hoisted up in my bag, shifting its weight a bit.

"She will stay quiet. She just does not like being in the bag," he muttered and placed the bird on his head, before he slung the bag on his back. The bird jumped down on his shoulder and settled close to his neck, kind of hiding between curly strands of shoulder-long black hair.

"As if you weren't going to catch enough attention," Dy growled under her breath and started walking again.

"What does that mean?" Barr asked and looked at me.

"You don't look... Exactly normal. You know?"

"Oh," he breathed. Then he closed his eyes and his skin lightened to the same shade mine. His hair and eyes stayed the same, but he definitely looked more like a human being now. "Is this better?"

Dy looked over her shoulder. "Yeah, not a whole lot of people have blue skin, you know?"

"No. I have only been around spirits." He shrugged a little. "And then the dead who find their way to the sanctuary. And these little ones. I love them." He smiled widely and stroked his bird under her beak. She chirped happily and nipped at his fingers.

I couldn't help but smile. He was kind of adorable in a... Moron kind of way. He didn't know any better and I could sort of relate.

"I had never been outside of the stronghold before it was blown up," I said, trying to build a bridge of some sort.

Barr arched a brow at me. "Why?"

"Wasn't safe. Or so I was told. I'm starting to think it was just easier to keep me inside, rather than let me go out." I shrugged and both Barr and I started walking again, Dy being in front of us with several metres between us.

"I wanted to leave. I wanted to find Quinn," Barr said.

"He's... Amazing, Barr. I think, you'll like him. He's funny too. And so kind."

Barr nodded a little hesitantly and then bit the inside of his cheek. "His thoughts are not kind."

I felt heat rise in my cheeks. "Why do you say that?"

"I... I can always feel him. Sometimes I can hear him. He is not kind to himself. He never has been."

I clenched my jaw and nodded. I knew Quinn struggled. I had always known he struggled. But I also kind of figured he'd get out on the other side of that. Had I been blind? I had noticed his smiles weren't as wide as they used to. He wasn't as chirpy as he used to. Only when he drank did he seem genuine.

And he kept calling himself a bastard. Maybe it wasn't just him joking about it. Maybe he did feel like one too. An unwanted child. Someone who didn't fit in. I hated the thought of my little brother not fitting in. I had always been protective of him. When our cousins teased him, I'd kick their shins when we were kids. The older we got, the more secluded he grew. Right before everything happened, he was only interested in that guard, even discarding his friends at court. Even I had seen less of him after he started seeing the guard.

"I want to fix it," Barr said then, interrupting my thoughts.

"I do too." I met his gaze. "I just want him to be okay."

"He is... Not. He is in a lot of turmoil. He is discovering his powers, but they are so destructive. He has no control and they are fuelled by his emotions."

"Are his the same as mine?" I couldn't imagine what could happen if he lost complete control. He could accidentally kill the entire city.

"No." Barr held his hand out and a piece of ice just flew into his hand. "This is his power. Just like it is mine."

"You can make thing... Fly?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Quinn can too, but right now it is just coming out as destruction. It can crush a human. Level an entire city maybe, if he loses control. He could rip the bones from the bodies of everyone close to him."

My jaw dropped. "What is up with these powers? They're so... Fucking disgusting."

He widened his eyes at me and stopped. "They are not disgusting. What you and your family chose to use them for was disgusting. That is why we did not want to connect with you. Your brother was the first one who was worthy in generations and he was kind. He was not supposed to die. So now we are stuck with you two."

"Wauw, amazing. Thanks," I growled. "Don't lecture me on my brother ever again. Either of them." I strode forward and caught up with Dy, leaving Barr behind.

We made camp for the night and the atmosphere was tense. Barr hadn't said anything, and he was sulking in such a dramatic way that it was getting on my nerves. We rolled out the sleeping bags that Nila had made for us and I curled up close to Dy.

"You're like an ice pick, come here," she said and put her arm around me, pulling me closer. "Is Barr finally asleep?"

"I think." I looked over my shoulder, on the other side of the little bonfire. He was definitely asleep. His mouth was open, and the bird had made a nest in his hair. I snorted and turned back to Dy. She didn't even let me turn fully before she kissed me.

"Really?" I murmured against her lips.

"I'm cold, you're cold. Let's get some hot blood running." She smirked at me. "Just uhm... Keep the metal arm away from me. It's so cold."

I chuckled and slid my metal fingers over her stomach. She bit down a whine and grabbed it, fitting her fingers in between mine.

She kissed me again and it was so soft. Her full lips were amazing. She bit down on my bottom lip so very gently, coasting my lips apart to make way for her tongue. And that was while her hand slid down my trousers. Her multi-tasking skills always surprised me. And delighted me.

I sighed and I felt her smile against my lips. I could never function right when she touched me. I had never felt like this before with anyone. It was only Dy who had this influence on me and my body. I felt desired. Beautiful. Even despite it all, she held my metal hand in hers and didn't let any of the scars stop her. Sometimes her gaze lingered, and I could almost feel her desire. Her love.

Dy was perfect.

I bit down hard on my lip to not make any noise. My legs were shaking and Dy didn't stop. She laughed softly when I started panting.

"I'm not done with you," she whispered and pushed me on my back, slipping in between my legs.

"Dy, we're going to wake up Barr," I whispered back.

"Not if you stay quiet." She winked at me and then she dipped down, kissing my throat, as her fingers slipped inside of me. I exhaled slowly, but it came out ragged as hell.

She moved her body with her hand, and I moved with her. I couldn't get my breath under control, and I no longer tried to either. I was panting and so was Dy. She was pushing her hips down on me and I wish we weren't wearing clothes now.

I mean, we'd be cold, but I'd feel her soft skin against mine. I loved feeling her skin against mine. I didn't know how she kept it all so soft while her hands were so rough. But even the roughness of her hands was something I loved.

"Shit," she whispered against my throat with her voice slipping into it. I finished for the second time and Dy slipped down beside me again, pulling me close. "I love you."

That made me a lot warmer than anything else would've. She just needed to tell me she loved me, and I was like a freaking bonfire.

"I love you too," I whispered back and smiled, kissing her softly. "Are you a little warmer?"

She chuckled and basically shoved her whole face in my hair, urging me to turn around, being her little spoon.

"Hell yeah. You're hot."

I bit down a laugh and instead grunted like a pig. Which only made Dy almost choke behind me. Her body was shaking, and I couldn't hold back. I muffled my laughs with the sleeping bag.

The best part of dating Dy was that she always made me laugh. It never failed.

Barr was a little chirpier that morning. He walked around with the bird on top of his head and told us to hurry up. And the bird would chirp after ever sentence, as if it was echoing his demands.

"Easy, we don't wanna use up all of our strength before noon," Dy said. "We still have a lot of walking left."

"Huh, okay," Barr murmured. "I did not know it would take this long."

"Well, in a car the trip would be like... Maybe two days? On foot it's at least double that. And we're going through the mountain pass. It's not gonna be easy this time of the year."

"Okay, but why?"

"Because of the snow. There's without a doubt snow in Paamut now too, especially the northern regions. The country faces the east, and the worst cold fronts come from there. Paamut always gets colder than Aatskina. We also have the luxury of being sheltered by the mountains to the north, west and east. The entire country is almost hidden away in a valley," Dy explained very patiently.

I couldn't help but arch a brow. Of all the people, I wouldn't expect her to be so patient.

"You can make it though, right? Like, it is not too hard for humans or anything." Barr shifted the weight of his body from one foot to the other.

"No, we'll make it just fine. We just have to take breaks. I'm still not 100% after getting shot, so I need breaks."

He nodded and frowned. "Why did you get shot?"

"Because Bursaaq didn't agree with us leaving."

"Bursaaq people used to leave us offerings and gifts. We even let some into the sanctuary in the past. But their minds are so dark."

"How do you know their minds are dark?" I asked.

"I can read them." He shrugged a little. "I can read yours too. You are wondering if I slept through it last night. I did, by the way."

My cheeks were no longer just on fire, they were straight up lava. No more questions from me. I hoisted my bag up on my back and started walking. Dy was laughing and quickly followed, while Barr asked her if he had said something wrong. She just told him to not read our minds. We both wanted privacy in our own heads, and he understood that.

"I swear to never read your minds again. But I can still read the minds of others, right?"

"Sure, especially if we think they're lying," I chimed in and slowed down a little, letting Barr and Dy catch up with me.

"Fabulous. Actually our powers work well together. I can tell you what they fear, and you can show it to them with the smoke."

"I... Can do that?"

"Yes. Nila is my maker. I know her power well." He smiled. "And there is a reason why Nila became your spirit, while I became Quinn's. Because we match. Just like you and Quinn."

I liked that. I liked to hear my brother and I matched because we did. We were a pair. And no one would ever tell me otherwise.