So, here's something I have a big problem with. I'm the real word, and just to my mom or sometimes strangers, I lie. A lot. But, before I sound like some compulsive lying asshole, I only lie about the little things. Why? Well, two reasons. One is that I don't trust my mother, and two is that I'm scared of her. Like, if it's around 9 PM and she asks if I wash my face, and I haven't, I'll say yeah. Or if I did my homework or about my friends. Those may sound like big things, but if my mom knew I had a friend who was into Green Day, MCR, Panic!, and who wore all black, she would F L I P. My mother and I have a very large rift, and that's because we don't trust each other. 

This rift formed when I began to realize that her fidgets and things she would check and do we're not things a normal, trusting parent does. Whenever I went out, she wouldn't let me go certain places because "I trust you, just not other people.". Which is the biggest fucking lie ever. Then, I realize her constant going through my room and phone wasn't normal. I began to not trust her. And when I didn't trust her anymore, I began to lie more frequently. The trust issue and her paranoia eventually got to me, and now I'm extremely paranoid and untrusting of everyone and everything.

But, the difference between me and my mother is that I have self control. I don't go through her or my friends stuff. I don't lie to them. I don't go through their phones and try to guess their passwords till I'm locked out. I don't analyze and ask about all their secrets or their friends. The problem is, I lie to my mother. And she lies to me. All around, it's just a horrible situation that I am stuck in. Also, I lie to strangers just cause I don't trust them and know I'll probably never be friends with them. Anyways, that was my problem talk today, hope you don't think I'm crazy!

 ~ Poke