•Basma

"Are you going to get me the phone today?" I was too excited to wait for her to bring it up so I asked.

"I already got it. I made a transfer to someone this morning and she'll be sending it to me today but I'll give you in the night when he's asleep."

"Great."

"You're welcome." She hummed.

"Are you going to tell me?!" I begged, "You promised yesterday."

She held her head, "Why did I even agree?"

"Just talk."

"Fine." She rolled her eyes and began, "I didn't really know Jameel if I'm being honest. I met him through and old friend named Bashir. I was on a holiday trip to Nigeria and my first friend was Bashir who was my travel guide. He was very sweet and would carry my bags around. I had no idea he was just doing all that for my money.

I later found out and we had a fight because he would tell me the price of something but would add some extra money on top that would end up in his pocket. I was angry and had lost a lot of money so he offered to pay me back but I'd have to help him get the money.

My holiday was already ending and it was boring so I decided to do it but on the condition that it was not breaking the law. He told me it was to befriend Jameel's younger sister Inteesar and get her to become close to me.

I did as he asked until the final moment where he said I should tell her I was going to take her to a new restaurant in town after her classes one blessed day and he did something I didn't expect to happen.

I was really scared that day. About five men jumped from the bushes and lunged at us viciously, making vulgar remarks and nasty comments about what we wore that day.

These men held us down and almost defiled us. It was the worst time of my life. It felt traumatizing to know that I was a part of the plan that would also be the end of me.

I had closed my eyes and said a last prayer for Allah to help us before Bashir came out of nowhere and beat up the guys. They ran away and he helped us up.

He was about to leave then Inteesar called him back to wait and meet her older brother. When Jameel came, he thanked Bashir and offered to give him some money as a show of his appreciation." She wiped her tearful eyes and paused before she continued.

He cynically rejected the money and after some time I saw then going around town together as if they were the best of friends. I hated him for a while and hated myself even more but after that he explained to me that the men weren't supposed to do what they did. He'd just paid them to scare us and it would've gone sideways if he wasn't there to help us in time."

"Bashir is monster." I commented, suddenly shaken by her story.

"It's alright. Now I understand why he did it. He isn't what we all think he is. I went undercover and did some stalking and I found out he was trying to help his family before he lost them. I promised to never speak of it to anyone but because I had to explain my connection to Bashir I had to tell you. As for me and Jameel, we just became really good friends after that. I didn't realize I'd fallen for him till my night in Nigeria. I wished I'd stayed. Maybe he would've loved me but I would've also regretted not graduating from university."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel all that's you'd felt."

"It's fine, just start the lesson."

She dropped her notepad and pen then hopped onto the counter to sit comfortably.

"Step one, keep staring and if he catches you don't stop. He likes a confident woman."

She writes it down in a notepad and drops her pen to pick up a cucumber slice from a plate beside her.

"Two, never show him you're you want him. Play hard to get so he feels the need to chase after you."

I did these things subconsciously to every man I met so it was a part of me. I didn't think women needed to learn how to woo a man. To me, it was reverse psychology you had to use and you'd have him on his knees.

"Three, say your mind. Things like, 'he's so handsome.' Pretend it escaped your lips by mistake and if he asks what you said give him a vague answer. It'll leave him confused and expecting to hear more of what you think about him."

She continued to write as I spoke until we heard the sound of a door being slammed and we knew Jameel was back. I wondered what made him angry this early morning.

"Lastly, he likes it when you're submissive and will stroke his ego. That doesn't mean you should let him disrespect you. He wants to hear things like 'my king' and 'the man of my dreams'. Also..."

"We'll finish later, thank you." She got off the couch and made for the sink to drop her plate.

Jameel would go out for an early run and would not return after about three hours then have breakfast with me and Chaima. Today he didn't even look at the dining table.

He rushed to the stairs and locked himself in his room. I turned to face Chaima and she was gone—to her room probably.

I grab a plate and serve myself. For the first time I was alone in the dining table and I was grateful for the silence—even in my room I couldn't stay for longer than an hour without him or Chaima dragging me out for one reason or the other.

If I was reliving my first days here I would've ran out the front door seeing this was a big opportunity to escape but who was I kidding? She had gruff, muscular guards by the gates of the mansion, standing, unsmiling with their guns ready to be shot.

For the rest of the day I stayed in my room and made plans of how I was going to move out of the country if I can escape from here. Maybe I could move halfway across the world with my child and Rayyan. We could buy a nice house in the middle of nowhere and forget all this ever existed. If he refuses to leave then I shall abandon him.

I waited for Chaima's knock on my room door for hours until I fell asleep. I momentarily woke up out of joyfulness to stare at the door hoping she would be behind it and a knock would tell but it never came and because I couldn't go back to sleep again, I stayed awake and continued to do what I could never stop doing since I'd arrived her—thinking of Rayyan.

But you know, I expected him to also be searching for me as well. I've been gone for too long. What if he never really loved me? Or even noticed. What I wished was to never really love him. Yet I still love him regardless and my heart breaking again wouldn't mean my death so I will continue to be optimistic till the day my breathing seizes and he's the one before me.

I wouldn't be too surprised if he hasn't even made a move to find me. Love had never been my savior.
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Aisha SafiyanuXO💚