Part 3: Finders Keepers

•Ruqayyah

Lets start with 13 reasons why I can't and will never be a faithful wife to Bilal.

1. I'll always love Tadalesh.

2. He has promised to find my children by sunrise tomorrow and will move me and them to a safer city.

3. We made love thirty minutes after he consoled me for the kidnap of my kids.

4. I didn't stop him from the moment he started to touch me because I enjoyed it.

5.  Bilal couldn't do better things to my body.

6. My children deserve a better mother.

7. I once loved Bilal but not anymore.

8. My heart beats for Tadalesh.

9. My soul was only tied to Bilal's.

10. If Bilal divorced me today I'd gladly marry Tadalesh; it was way better than cheating.

11. Another reason I will never be a good mother is because I was ready to abandon my children for the love of my life.

12. If Tadalesh found my children tomorrow I'd send them back to their father.

13. I'd force Tadalesh to divorce all his wives and we'll move to a different country too.

After my conversation with Bilal yesterday, I almost told Tadalesh that I would leave him but once I saw him my heart had already sealed my lips and had made its mind up to jump right into his hands.

I may look like the villain but this only justifies my choices even more. If I stay with a man I lacked love for things would never work out and I would continue to secretly have an affair.

Let's look at it from his perspective. If he didn't let me return years ago I would still be lying in his bed, cooking for him and taking care of his children—not my children—anymore, at least for the next few hours.

Most villains in most stories don't always come out at the top or end up proud but are always full of regrets and that won't be me.  Though they always prevail with one little mistake made by the protagonists in their stories. And that's what usually birthed the sequel where the hero beats the bad guys.

In my case, there won't be a sequel because Bilal has already lost the battle before it begun.

At least for Layla's sake I would've stayed but she had always loved him more anyways so it would be easier to let her grow up with him.

They would grow up to hate me but I couldn't care less. Tadalesh would make me happier than ever and I wouldn't sin anymore. That was all that mattered. For now at least.

*Ring Ring*

My phone buzzed underneath my pillow just as the Tadalesh kissed my cheek to wake me up to pray.

"Wake up princess."

He held my hand, smiling excitedly as he pulled me up from my sleeping stance. He lifted me and dropped me on his shoulder till we reached the bathroom door where he dropped me on the floor to go in and perform my wudu (ablution).

"I'll be in the next room if you feel like talking."

"Sure baby."

I pushed the bathroom door shut and turned on the tap while humming to myself.

Once I was done, I did my salat in a bit of haste before rushing to the next room to meet Tadalesh.

He was still on his prayer mat reciting the Quran when I came in. My noiseless footsteps made it harder for him to notice my presence behind him.

I stood there mesmerized while listening to his enchanting, melodic voice reciting suratul Maryam.

I moved to sit on his bed and waited till he was finished before he rose up to sit beside me.

"My dear is something wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong. I just think that maybe we should talk about what happened yesterday."

"I'm listening."

"You should've stopped me, I'm a married woman."

He held his head and sighed dramatically, "When will you stop lying to yourself."

"You're only tied to him in a religious stance but all this while your heart still belonged to me."

"That's not true."

"Look into my eyes and say it. Say you don't love me and I'll stop."

He pinned me to the bed and with ease, relieved me of my hijab and the other pieces of clothing underneath.

"I..."

"That's what I thought."

He spared my fingers some kisses and drove them up my arm and to my shoulders where they landed on my chest.

We moved to the bed and repeated yet another intentional mistake just 24 hours later.

I wore my clothes a few minutes after kissing his cheek to return back to my room. At the door, I call his name and realize he is asleep so I close the door and silently walked to my room in a breezy nostalgia.

I got in and made a beeline to my bed. My phone rang under my pillow again and I angrily pushed my hands under to pull it out.

Bilal's name appears boldly on my screen and my stomach starts to churn. I throw my phone across the room. Shut my eyes close and smiled, pretending that I hadn't messed myself up once again.

The phone beeped this time and I knew it was a text message. I ran to the floor where it layed to read his message just as Tadalesh ran into the room shouting.

"Your babies are here love!"

"What do you mean?"

"They're downstairs."

"Mummy! Mummy!"

Bushra and Layla rush into the room to hug me and for a moment there, Bilal was forgotten.

This looked like the perfect family to me—only that they would soon be returning to their father, permanently.

I kissed their cheeks slowly and bathed their tiny faces in my tears. They stopped hugging me and began to cry too. It was then I knew this separation was going to be hard but I was willing to take that risk to be happy.

"Mummy please call daddy."

"I will don't worry."

Tadalesh steps out of room as he suddenly felt unwanted. I didn't follow him.

For the last time—I chose my kids.

We spoke for almost an hour and in between, food was sent for us. We shared a final breakfast and spoke about what I would 'do' with 'them' in Nigeria. Yes, I lied we were moving back.

I finally got the courage to pick up my phone and called Bilal but his number was unreachable so I opened the messages to see what he sent.

He said,

I'll be on my way to get my kids. You've made your choice and so have I.

I ran to the bathroom and locked myself in moment of uncontrollable excitement.

The bright lights of the bathroom being the only reason I could see my treacherous reflection in the mirror. I smiled dementedly, hoping for the tears to come or to feel some form of guilt but everything suddenly felt in place and the only thing that was missing in my life was Tadalesh.

"Mummy." The kids called from the other side of the door.

"I'll be coming out soon. You just wait, ok?"

"Ok, mummy." They answered.

I touched the mirror and smiled even wider. My fingers traced the outline of my image on the mirror and I whispered to myself,
"Mama I've made you proud."

She has always taught me to love money and nothing but the best of this world. My father was as rich as an old gold mine and he spent nothing less than what my mother was worth to make her as exultant as ever.

My mother expected a lot from Bilal but she felt he wasn't spending enough to take care of me and my kids so she formulated this plan at exactly the time she and my father planned to return back to Somalia.

She told me to go big with a massive show of interest in moving back with them with the faking of an instant gradual return of my pasts mental illnesses and if he objected, I should set out boldly and expect him to beg me to return which was what we both did.

One thing no one noticed was her hands in the making of this scheme. She pushed me to sought Tadalesh out and get back with him so  he would take care of me and the kids since she already knew what was between us.

When Bilal came to beg them to intervene, they both scolded and asked me to go back to my husbands house. At night though, she called and fueled the fire in me to further think of leaving him.

Truthfully I'd like to blame her for a part of this mess but these children have been found and now I get to live with the love of my life forever.

As usual, they always have a method of escaping these problems. With that much money, I'm sure they've made it to Misr now.

Tadalesh has promised to even take to whichever country we'll be moving to.

****

Time had gone so quickly and now I lay on my bed in between two of my daughters who are asleep.

I hear a loud bang and I jump out of the bed to find out what going on. I cover Layla and Bushra with the silk blanket before stepping out of the room.

I hear two more louder bangs and I rush downstairs to find the causes of the ruckus. Tadalesh is there with two other men in police uniform and immediately Bilal steps in.

I  rush downstairs to join them and try to downsize whatever the mess was seeing that it was two men that were in my life.

"What's going on?"

"Baby just go upstairs, no need to be here. It's just a little misunderstanding."Tadalesh says with a tight lipped smile.

"But Bilal is here with the police. This doesn't feel right."

I watch Bilal as his eyes focus on me. He analyzes the kind of clothing I'm wearing and how my hair is open. He mutters a curse under his breath and takes his eyes off me.

I open my mouth to speak but quickly get cut off by one of the policemen.

"I don't think there's a need for us to be cordial since we're here to arrest you."

The second policeman continues with,

"After much investigation we believe that you were the one who instigated the attack on the school and kidnapped the children."

"You must have the wrong person. This man here is a righteous person. He'll never hurt a soul." I interject nervously.

Bilal smiles a bit and nods his head, "So after everything you're still defending him? You've refused to acknowledge your husband and have no shame as your hair isn't even covered and your clothing is too thin."

"Don't speak to her like that!" Tadalesh speaks up.

"You're one to talk." Bilal counters, "Months back I remember saying the same thing to you because of you terrible attitude. Both of you should be arrested without bail."

"What do you mean by that?" I barked, "You of all people should know how good he has been to me for even giving me a room to stay in his house."

"Keep quiet you shameless woman." The policeman yells, "You get into a problem and choose to stay with another man other than your husband instead of searching for your children and now you can't show respect to your husband. We'll be taking you and Mrs Bilan to the police station."

Tadalesh finds a way to beg the two men to let her stay at home with Layla and Bushra while he leaves with them for interrogation.

As conspicuous as the situation was, it was inevitable that Bilal would proclaims the words of divorce to me and that was what he did.

My reaction was as he expected. I didn't beg or make a fuss. He asked for his children and I brought them to him. I and the children shared a moment of crying and goodbyes to which I lied to them about coming back to Abuja after the problems here had settled.

Bilal took them away and I remained in the living room for what felt like forever then finally decided to head to the police station.

There, the officers refused to let me see Tadalesh until I was able to bribe some of them. In his cell, we spoke for a while and that was where he told me he was suspected of being a gang leader but all would be sorted out by the next morning.

We hugged and I went out with an emptiness I've never felt before and a grave headache from being deprived of a chance to  breathe. I knew I needed some rest after all that had happened in the past 48 hours.

Tadalesh's driver took me back to his mansion where I rushed in to take a shower and have some rest before the morning that would forever change my life arrived.

While in the bathroom, I decided to play some music by Kehlani. Can you blame me with Lucky Daye and I danced to it excitedly in the shower as I imagined what the next day would hold.

A text message came in immediately I stepped out of the shower to brush my teeth. Then, Suicidal by Juice WRLD and YNW Melly was playing.

I opened instantly and found it ridiculous then laughed because I knew he was probably just saying it to scare me into running back to him.

Well, I know my Tadalesh. He wouldn't kidnap my children and throw bombs in the city then save the children just to show me a great deal of his affection.

The message read:

I'm sure you think this is your happy ending. But believe me this is the start of your problems because you're going to be married to the leader of a terrorist group who has no respect for women. Let's pray you're fit for the kind of lifestyle he's going to drag you into. Send my regards to your parents.

And that was the last time I ever heard from him. That is; until Allah destined that we would meet five years from now in my most unexpected and deplorable condition.
___________________________

Yayy or Nay?

Aisha Safiyanu XO💚