•Basma

It's another dead, star-less, silent night, in a drab hospital gown and Rahina beside me as a sober reminder that I'm in custody of a maniac. Like the past weekly nights, it's been Rahina seated by my bedside with a basket of well prepared food and my phone.

As the days passed by I was starting to grow a soft spot for the shy woman. She has been scared of me since the last time I yelled at her. Despite my rude behavior, she was still respectful and attentive. She was a far better substitute compared to Jameel.

He called me in the early hours of the day. The doctor had now become his errand boy. He would bring me the phone whenever he called—no matter the amount of times Jameel called, as if we were couples courting to be married after my release from the hospital.

Today marks a month since I was kidnapped and no one has been able to trace me even with the hints I've been dropping for my sisters.

The only good thing that has come out of this is the budding friendship between me and Rahina. She has been so nice—I even thought of apologizing to her for my three day old outburst but my ego wouldn't agree to that—I was working on building up the sturdiness to do it.

She became the only person I could relate to and in a short period of time she had taught me some Hausa words I didn't know as well as some from her native language, Fulfude.

Slowly, I was able to converse in her mother tongue as well as gain extra time to spend on the phone with my family members. After a while, she would tell me secrets she promised to spill about herself except the sacred ones about Jameel I desperately wished she'd tell me but unfortunately she was devoutly loyal to him so no matter what, it was always him first before me.

Rahina was an illegal immigrant that came all the way from Niger republic in search of greener pastures. Her mother was initially from Liberia while her father was from Mali. They settled in Niger just months after her birth and claimed citizenship of the country after fleeing their war infested homeland.

That was close to eighteen years. Now she's twenty five but she doesn't look a day younger than nineteen. Her vibrant smile and trusting persona was one of the reasons we became friends.

I thought of my family and Rayyan for most of the days and  played scrabble with Rahina whom I thought was an illiterate but in reality was sent to school by Jameel and now she's a HND holder.

A few hours later...

"Will you marry me Basma?" Rayyan knelt down, propped his elbow up with a knee with his hands outstretched with a doughnut roping his finger.

"Yes! Yes! Yes! A thousand times. I love you."

"You don't have to say much. Yes is enough." He grinned as he got up and pulled me to hug his body.

I pulled away from him and sat at the edge of his bed, "What about mama and your father?"

"I'll handle them. Don't be scared."

"Ok, I have something to tell you." I sighed, visibly ashamed to explain my misfortune.

"What is it? Don't be scared to tell, I will listen to you no matter what it is?"

"That's what everyone says before you tell them and they go bezerk."

He purses his lips, "I'm serious, you can tell me anything."

"Ok," I huffed, "I'm pregnant!" I added, "For you."

"Who?" He held his chest with both hands, gruffly, "That child is not mine. Go and find his father."

I didn't realize when tears covered my face and I was kneeling before him, shamelessly relinquishing my almighty ego and pride to get on his soft side.

Shaking his head disappointedly, he pointed to the door of his bedroom, "Don't even call me! Goodbye."

"Please," I begged.

He walked outside the door of his room, pointing at me, "I'm serious, don't ever call me. I'm going out. By the time I get back I expect you to be out of my house."

I ran to the door to grab his hands but he noisily jammed the door to its hinges and left me wailing inside like a woman who was just recently widowed.

Indeed I lost my husband. A husband I married without a planned wedding ceremony or acceptance from his family and mine. All we had was us and the baby was the tether to the unconformed union.

I sighted a kitchen knife laying bare on a plate filled with fruits and rushed to grab it. Just as I was about to puncture my insides with the sharp object, Rayyan ran into the room. What type of Indian movie has my life has turned into?

He probably didn't expect to find me in that position because his mouth hung open in shock as he ran over to snatch it out of my hands and threw it to the side of the room. I yelled immediately and everything went black.

"Aaaaaah la illa ha illa lah!"

Hands held my shoulders, shaking me repeatedly as a voice penetrated my ears and as they seized, a headache had already clouded my head.

"Basma why are you shouting?" Rahina asked, confused as she wiped my tears with her cotton veil.

I shook my head and looked away to avoid her friendly questions that at the moment, seemed to be intrusive, "I don't know."

"Talk to me, please."

"Why should I tell you? I don't really know you."

"You know me, we're friends now."

"I didn't know that. So explain who told you that?"

She shook head and looked downwards at the floor and I smiled knowing exactly what she was thinking. Rahina probably took me as a child and was trying to calm me down by talking to me in the slow and deliberate manner she always spoke to me with.

She finally looked up at me and after a few minutes of overthinking and pitying her I smiled to reassure her that we were really friends and I could really trust her—that was how shallow I was.

"It's a long story..." I added, "But I'll tell you all about it. We have all 'night'."

She laughed immediately once she understood the joke about them having all 'night' instead of 'day'.

It was already time for Zuhr so we got up and performed wudu (ablution) before she helped me climb back to my bed and I continued the story.

"So, he's my friends step-son..."

It took hours but I was able to tell her about the whole entanglement and how we ended up not being just one night stands.

A few hours later, in the morning, Jameel came and asked Rahina to leave which saddened me. He leaned over to kiss my cheeks and instead touched my shoulders and started trailing down to my breasts.

"Remember when I used to do this?" He asked, smirking.

I squirmed under his touch and he noticed immediately and flinched, "I'm sorry. I was carried away."

"Don't ever do that again!"

He smiled awkwardly and turned to find himself a sit opposite my bed.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked, feeling a bit scared.

"No-no-thing." He stammered.

"I know that's a lie." I scoffed, already getting angry.

I had more to say but I didn't want to test his patience. He was always handsy and aggressive as my spouse so I didn't know what he could do now even if a part of me told me that he wouldn't do anything—just yet.

I didn't know when I fell asleep but I but I woke up to the first best thing in my 6 weeks of forcefully appetizing bondage. Jameel forgot my phone on the chair he sat on.

I wonder what was bothering him that made him forget something as crucial as this, oh well...

I reached for it immediately and dialed Sa'adatu. She answered after a few rings, "Basma! How are you? Is he there? If he is just say the numbers."

"No, he isn't." I chuckled, "The idiot forgot the phone."

"Toh, ok, Alhamdulillah. How are you feeling? Does he feed you well? Most importantly, where are you?"

"Firstly, I'm fine. Two, he does. He sends this his maid—that girl Rahina to bring me food and my phone."

"You didn't answer the last question."

I yelped, "Oh sorry. I forgot. To be honest I don't know where I am."

"How can you not know where you are?!" She cried.

"It looks different but I know it's a northern state. Everyone speaks Hausa fluently."

"Have you seen any landmarks or anything you can describe that you know would definitely put us on track?"

"Not really. I've just been to two places—his house and now the hospital."

"Do you know the name of the hospital?"

"No. I was barely conscious when he brought me to the here."

"Are you with Afaf?"

"No. She's at the police station. We sent a search party to look for you all over the country."

So that was why Jameel was looking so worried.

He'll learn not to mess with an El-Nafaty.

"Oh ok. Please come and find me. I'm hopeless."

"Don't worry. Just continue to pray. We'll do so as well and continue looking for you."

"Do you still love him though?"

"No. It was all an act. I knew he would ask Rahina about all my phone calls so I decided to fake it. He even thinks I love him again."

"Stupid man! Just be careful."

"Ok thank you Sa'a."

"Wait," She pauses, "Who is Rayyan and who is Bilal?"

I heard footsteps by the door and my lips froze. The phone fell from my hands and landed on my laps. I managed to push the phone under my pillow so that the person would pass the entrance of my room.

"Now you can't explain ba?" Sa'a hissed.

"What were you up to before all this happened?" She yelled while laughing.

I pulled it out of it's hiding spot and held the phone to my ear again, "What were you saying? Sorry, I heard footsteps."

"Oh ok. Do you know when the foolish man will be back?"

"I don't know but I expect him to be here soon because he'll definitely come here once he realizes my phone is missing. It's almost eight and He wakes up really early."

"Just turn on your location so that I can call Afaf so that they can try and locate you."

The door burst open just as I was about to turn on my location. Jameel walks in and slaps the phone out of my hand. Sa'adatu hears my sharp intake of breath and realizes that I'm in trouble.

"Jameel if you're hearing this we're going to get you!" Sa'a yelled through the speakers of my slightly broken phone.

He laughs and yanks my body off the bed without remorse and motions with two fingers for his guards to lift me off the bed and put on my hijab before taking me out.

He stayed behind for some unknown reason while his men blindfolded me and all I could say was that that was the longest time I've ever been blindfolded in my life.

I'm not sure if he ever came back or he left to somewhere else but now that I'm awake all I see is darkness.

From the air I just inhaled, I could tell that it was an entirely different place. I'm assuming it's a different country because it feels a bit more humid and the rooms scent is fragrant but it's not something I'm used to. It could be linked to turaren wuta (incense) though.

The room was really dark and the bed was as comfortable as the one at my house. I got up and made for the door that was left ajar.

Everywhere in the house was dark and silent—kind of like a horror movie. I moved aimlessly from room to room, only finding boring decor and plain, wooden furniture and televisions.

On my way back to my room, I heard footsteps and remained glued to the wall on the third step I was.

"Basma." A familiar, cold voice called.

"Where are you?"

I though of going further up to look for a weapon to get him unconscious so that I could run out and look for help so I turned noiselessly and made for the stairs behind me.

I ran once I was atop the floor and managed to reach a room at the end of the floor that was brightly decorated with the most beautiful furniture and smelt exactly like my room.

I grabbed a flower vase and ran out of the room. Outside, I bumped into a young lady who smiled at me and offered me her hand. In the process, the case broke and I threw it on the floor without caring who would pass that floor or not. She helped me up and asked me to follow her into the room.

I knew I couldn't have been more stupid at this point but I was already getting comfortable from seeing a fellow woman.

"Your hand is bleeding, let me help you." She said once I was sitter cross legged on the edge of her bed.

"Who are you?"  Was the first question that flew out of my mouth then, "Where is this?"

She remained silent as she continued to walk to her bathroom. On returning into the room, she sat down beside me and dropped her first aide box in between our legs.

"You didn't answer my question." I probed.

"That's not how to show appreciation." She intentionally dabbed a cotton wool patch that was covered in spirit onto the exposed flesh of my hand.

"Aah what was that for?"

She hissed, "You ask too much questions."

"It's not a crime to be curious of your surroundings." I muttered.

"Well you're irritating me with your questions. How about you shut up?!"

Really, I was shocked. Not a lot of people have stood up to me in my entire life. Only my sisters, Ajman and Jameel. Who did she think she was?

I would've given her a piece of my mind but I still needed her to treat my newly acquired injury. I remained silent and slowly, her vibrant smile returned. You wouldn't think she could frown for even a minute.

"All done." She patted the back of my hand and stood up to the bathroom to return the first aid kit.

"Can I have some food?" I asked her exasperatedly.

Soon I'd lose my mind if I didn't eat. Now I know I was going  to be  eating for two and I can't control the urges to repeatedly throw anything edible into my mouth. I just hope I'll be able to burn all the fat after I give birth.

Jameel walks in a few minutes later with the brightest smile I've ever seen on his face—throughout today actually. What was everyone's problem? First that woman, now Jameel.

"Chaima?" He called, "I see you've met her before I got the chance to give both of you a proper introduction."

"That's not important, go and bring her food."

Jameel didn't argue. He made for the door and returned with a tray of food after a few minutes.

He lovingly dropped the tray on my lap, before he rose up to look at me, tears filled his face, "Enjoy your meal. I really thought we had something going on."

I was so confused but I couldn't utter a word because of the shock and fear that held me in the throat. Who was she and how was she able to command him without him reacting angrily?

He sat on the floor beside my legs, hoping I'd touch the side of his face and rub his hair the way I used to in the beginning of our marriage.

I moved away and he loudly fell on the carpeted floor. He rose up and moved closer to where I was.

"Stay away from me! Now that you know, I don't have to pretend anymore."

"Are you kidding me?"

He got up from the floor and took the tray off my laps, "Tell me something." He knelt down and shifted my food to the center table behind him then faced me again, "What else do you want? I've left the cult, I've changed entirely, I even went for anger management classes? What! Am! I! Doing! Wrong?!"

He punched the wooden bottom of the bed and I flinched. The woman who had left us earlier came back to the room upon hearing the noise. She ran towards him and knelt down with her hands on his chest, "What is wrong?"

His mistress? Maybe.

But if he loved me then what was he doing with her? That's not even for me to decipher. It was their problem entirely.

"Don't touch me?!" Jameel pushed her hand.

"Why would you do that?" She hisses dramatically, flipping off her waist length hair.

"Leave!" He commanded.

"To where? You do not have the right to command me in my own home!"

I stood up without them noticing and made for the door. Outside the door, I step on a piece of the remaining vase I broke and yelled which caused them to turn around and see me.

Today couldn't get any worse than this for me... hopefully.

"Quick! Chaima get something to clean her up."  He says and rushes to carry me to the bed, "If you just remained where you were supposed to be you wouldn't be in this mess!"

I start to cry and all Chaima does is murmur things that sounded like Arabic in anger. She touches my foot with the cotton too harshly causing me to wince.

"Shut up. We've all felt this kind of pain. I believe this isn't new to you."

What was that supposed to mean?

"Stop talking to me that way!"

She uses her finger to poke the injury, "What can you do about it?"

I push her away and attempt to cover the injury by myself but I keep making mistakes so Jameel offers to do it while Chaima exits the room, furious.

"That's why you should stop being rude to people. I tolerate you because I love you."

He continued to clean it till there isn't a sign of blood. He raises my foot to his lips and kisses it, "Sleep on what I said. I hope you'll be willing to change your mind by tomorrow morning. I still love you Basma."
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Hmu on my IG and follow up, it's 'eeshaaarh'. I want to make my account interactive for my followers.

It's been a while. Did y'all miss me? School has been crazy but we move!

I managed to do an eid update! Please enjoy yourselves. Take pretty pictures and have as much fun as you like and try to stay safe.

Who's excited to meet Aaliyah again after such a long time? I don't know if I'm the only one...

~Aisha Safiyanu XO💚