chapter seventeen
the twine that binds

$$

For as long as Izzy could remember, there had always been this twine wrapped around her heart. It was embedded so deeply that her aorta had grown around it, and every time someone would tug on the rope, it'd rip through the chambers, leaving a hole in the organ. And no matter how many times she tried to cut the twine, she couldn't. The rope would stay in place, buried deep with the organ, and every so often, someone would pull, and her whole body would ache with pain. And this pain had always been a constant. It was all she could feel; it was all she was.

          But Izzy didn't want solely pain to be embedded in her chemical makeup. She didn't want to be composed of hurt and flames from her own fire. She had to remind herself she didn't need to be the ticking time bomb everyone suspected she'd become . . . not if she didn't want to. She could be composed of both honey and glass. She could. And she would.

          And it was the smidge of freedom that she had tasted only yesterday which made her want to find a solution to the twine ripping through her aorta. It was better than any high she had ever gotten from drugs; it was euphoric and utterly consuming. She thought she might let it swallow her whole just so she could have another taste. Hell, she would have done anything to feel like that again; to feel that real again, and not like the plastic Barbie doll she had been since the day she came into the world kicking and screaming. She only knew that there was no going back to her cookie-cutter life after she had that little taste of freedom.

          Freedom was the only thing on her mind, because believe it or not, Izzy did not want to be trapped inside a cage her whole life. She wouldn't settle for that. Not anymore.

          But still, the twine embedded and wrapped around her heart wouldn't leave her. And she wanted to find a way to make the rope disintegrate. She thought maybe it had something to do with her mother; maybe she needed closure . . . although she wasn't sure how'd she get that. It wasn't like she could just forget about her. So she tried her best to live for her and mend the hole in her heart.

          She decided, that day, she'd visit her mother's grave for the second time since it happened. You see, the thing was that John B claimed he was having second thoughts about trusting Izzy with converting the gold into cash. It wasn't that he didn't trust her, he just didn't trust her father or his associates. Izzy thought he was just being stupid, but she couldn't really blame him. She decided she'd let him figure out his shit since it was his money and not hers. And John B's way of figuring out his shit was to take the gold to a pawnshop and see if they could exchange it . . . and if that didn't work then Izzy was his Plan B. (Again, major eye roll. But Izzy didn't expect much. Men were dumb and stubborn.)

          The others informed her that they would be trying to melt down the wheat symbol on the gold so they could pawn it, which gave Izzy enough time to visit her mother's grave before she had to meet them at John B's later. So she did go visit her mother, but she couldn't really remember anything from the visit. It was all a blur and the twine embedded in her heart was still there. Although, it did loosen when she brought up the situation with JJ Maybank. So she thought that was the trick. She thought maybe talking about her problems made the twine disintegrate into the organ. Maybe that was it. She couldn't formulate any other reason.

          The rest of the day went by in a blur and pretty soon Izzy found herself pulling into John B's dirt driveway, before she hopped into that ugly van of his and sat next to JJ. She couldn't really remember how she got there in the first place, but she didn't really care. She was too focused on trying to push the scenarios of the van driving off a cliff out of her head. And it did work. That made her smile slightly as the images of her dying faded away, and left her to turn her head to glance at JJ out of the corner of her eye.

          The Maybank boy had his eyes trained on the melted down gold bars in his hand. He traced his finger over the surface, until he abruptly stopped. He must have felt Izzy watching him since a second later he glanced up and his blue eyes met Izzy's green ones. A ghost of a smile lifted onto his lips as his eyes trailed over her face, then drifted down to her outfit. "What is this anyway?" he asked with his brows lowered on his face as he pointed a finger at her shirt.

          Izzy glanced down at her shirt. She was wearing a cropped woven cloth top that was purposely made to appear unfinished. Some fashion designer gifted it to her when she and Julia visited Paris for a weekend a couple years ago. She had always liked it despite it being . . . unconventional.

          She glanced back up at JJ and shrugged. "Fashion," she muttered as she raised a brow.

          JJ raised his brows. "Looks like my grandmother's quilt."

          Izzy sent him a blank look. "Have you looked in a mirror today?" she asked bitterly as she pursed her lips and looked him up and down. He actually didn't look awful. Sure, his shirt was worn, but he still looked like himself . . . and JJ had always been . . . attractive. "You're wearing yesterday's clothes."

          A half-grin tugged at JJ's lips. "It's all fair game until it smells."

          Izzy scrunched her nose in disgust. "You're disgusting."

          "You love it," JJ said as he sent her a wink.

          The van abruptly came to a halt in front of a small pawnshop as John B turned off the engine and parked on the side of the road. JJ was still staring at Izzy with a smug grin on his face, to which Izzy only rolled her eyes and pushed his shoulder. She turned away from him, ignoring his soft laughter as she glanced out the window and glared at the pawnshop. She still thought it was stupid that John B insisted on coming here instead of just letting Izzy help. But, whatever, it was his loss if the cashier scammed him out of his money. At least there was still more gold awaiting them in the well.

          "Hell of a job melting it down, Dr. Frankenstein," JJ said to Kiara as he waved the gold in the air then slid open the back door and hopped out. Izzy slid her Chanel sunglasses over her eyes before she hopped out after him and leaned against the wall of the pawnshop.

          Kiara rolled her eyes and slid out of the back, her feet landing on the sidewalk. "Like you could've done any better," she muttered as she approached Izzy and stood next to her. Pope and Sarah hopped out of the van next, leaning against the vehicle while they watched the scene unfold in front of their eyes.

          "I could have done much better," JJ exclaimed. "I took a welding class."

          Kiara squinted her eyes and made a face. "When?"

          "You know . . . " Izzy cut in, glancing between the two. " . . . this wouldn't be such a problem if you guys would just listen to me."

          "No offense, Iz—" John B began as he came around the corner and joined the others— "you seem great and all but I don't trust your dad." He toyed with the keys in his hand (the one without the cast) before he shoved them in the pocket of his shorts. "I think the best bet we have is to try to pawn it and if that doesn't work then you can turn to your dad and his . . . associates . . . ?"

          "Yeah, gotta' say, John B's got a point," Pope agreed. He shot Izzy a tight smile, and his eyes showed he didn't mean any harm with his words. "I trust you. I do, but your dad . . . he's not the most reliable."

          Izzy shrugged. She knew they weren't wrong. The Windsors were known for screwing people over. They had even done it to her a few times before. "Fair point," she sighed.

          "Okay, so we have an agreement?" John B asked as he glanced at his friends with his brows raised. "We'll do this and if it doesn't work, we've got you, Iz. So let's chill out and just do this."

          A scoff escaped JJ's lips. "Easy for you to say. You're not the one that has to pawn this piece of shit off," he muttered bitterly as he held up the gold nugget. "How did I get this job anyway?" He shook his head before he shoved the gold back into his backpack then adjusted the strap on his shoulder. He gave his friends once last unamused glance, then he began to walk toward the front door leading to the pawnshop.

          "'Cause you're the best liar," Pope said nonchalantly as he trailed after him.

          The others followed in his lead and approached the door, walking past the threshold and entering the small shop. The jingle of a bell greeted them as they stepped inside, and a cool breeze followed. The store didn't have any air conditioning, but there were a few fans placed in various spots, offering a relief from the blistering heat formulating outside. Izzy took note of this and began fanning herself with her hand as she waltzed around the shop.

          Izzy briefly heard JJ exchange a greeting with the lady behind the front counter, but she didn't pay them much attention. She spotted a guitar hanging on the wall and walked toward it, stretching out her fingertips to brush the strings. She had always adored the guitar, but never learned how to play. Maybe she could start now. She abruptly heard JJ's voice, and she was snapped out of her trance. She glanced over her shoulder and trained her eyes on the scene before her.

          JJ stood before the front counter, leaning against it as he toyed with the strap on his backpack. "I see you buy gold," he said as he shot the woman a grin.

          The woman remained unamused as she shook her head and sighed. "That's what the sign says, don't it?" she muttered as she nodded her head at the sign plastered on the wall. Cash for Gold, it read, and for some reason that left an uneasy feeling swirling in Izzy's stomach.

          "Well, I sure hope you buy a lot of it—" JJ began as he swung his backpack off his shoulder and placed it on the counter— "because I'm about to blow your mind."

          The woman glanced between his bag and his face. She pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her chest as she leaned against the counter. "I ain't got much of a mind left to blow, so have at it," she muttered, her voice monotonous.

          JJ shot her another grin before he dug through the bag and pulled out the gold, then placed it on the counter. "How about them gold apples?"

          The woman only shook her head and laughed. "That ain't real."

          A scoff left JJ's lips. "That ain't real?" he questioned as he glanced at his friends and shook his head. The others only gave him an unamused look in return. He shrugged at them and turned back to the woman. He leaned the palms of his hands on the counter and glanced between the woman's face and the gold, before he shot her a head nod. "Feel how heavy it is then."

          "It can't be real," the middle-aged woman grumbled, but nevertheless she picked up the gold and weighed it in her hands. A look crossed her face, showing her shock as she glanced up to meet the Maybank boy's awaiting gaze.

          JJ raised his brows and nodded. "Let's get some light on that," he offered as he gave her another smug smirk.

          The woman only pursed her lips before she reached for a magnifying glass with a light on it and flashed it on the gold. She flipped over the gold, then slightly shook her head at her discovery. "Spray-painted tungsten," she muttered with a shrug as she put the magnifying glass and gold back down on the counter.

          JJ scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Spray-painted tungsten? Really? Okay," he bitterly spewed. "Why don't you see how, uh, soft it is?" He gave a shrug as he gestured to the gold.

          The woman gave a sigh before she dug through her draws for a chisel and a tiny mallet. She gripped them in her hands and shot JJ an awaiting look. "You mind?" she asked, gesturing to the gold resting on the counter.

          JJ shook his head. "No, go for it." He watched as the woman hit the gold with the chisel once then pressed her finger into the indent to test the texture of it. At the discovery of it being soft, JJ smirked and laughed under his breath. "Wow. Would you look at that?"

          The woman put a hand up. "Hold your horses," she spat as she put the tools down on the counter and reached for something behind her. "We ain't got to the acid test yet."

           "Oh, the acid test," JJ mocked as he glanced around the store and shot his friends a look. His eyes landed on Izzy and he shot her a wink to which she only rolled her eyes in response. "My favorite, guys." He tore his eyes from the blonde girl and glanced back at the woman rubbing a substance on the gold.

          Nothing happened in response to the acid test, and the woman only became more confused. She stared at the gold with her brows furrowed low on her face. "Well—" she shook her head and scoffed— "it ain't plated and it ain't painted."

          "Ma'am I'm telling you this is as real as the day is long," JJ claimed. He tilted his head and nodded as he repeatedly tapped his pointer finger on the countertop.

          The woman only ignored the boy's claims and continued to observe the gold. Her brows furrowed lower as her eyes trailed over the gold, trying to formulate an explanation. When it seemed she couldn't come up with a reason, she glanced up at JJ and squinted her eyes. "It looks like someone tried to melt it down," she said as her eyes trailed over his face, observing his body language.

          JJ only stared at her as the silence fell upon the room, suffocating its inhabitants in its cold embrace. And while JJ may have been a good liar, his words seemed to be tangled around his tongue, inhibiting him from lying through his teeth. That was when Izzy became aware of the twine embedded in her heart. It was like it was telling her to do something; to open her mouth and find a way to not be the cog in the wheel. She had to. It'd . . . scratch that . . . she'd save their asses.

          "I did," Izzy cut in. The others shot her confused looks, but she only brushed them off and approached the front counter, standing beside JJ. "I mean I made one of my housekeepers do it. You see, I was looking through my mom's jewelry display, and well . . . " She let her words trail off as she took off her sunglasses and hung them on the neckline of her shirt. She would have kept them on, but she wanted the woman to see the emotion in her eyes. Izzy Windsor was a master manipulator, after all, so she figured she might as well use her skills for her benefit. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to be rude. I'm Izzy Windsor and as I'm sure you've heard my mother died last year so it's been really hard for me to . . . part with her things. But, anyway, I was looking through her jewelry display and I found gold necklaces, rings, earrings. You know? The usual. So we melted it down and here it is."

          The woman stared at her for a few seconds, narrowing her eyes at the girl in an attempt to see through the cracks in her facade. But Izzy knew she wouldn't find a way past her mask. Izzy had been wearing different faces her entire life. She'd almost let it consume her, and she was sure it would have had she not been involved in all this treasure hunt bullshit. She would have been another plastic body drifting through a sea of dolls, and living a life feeling like she was constantly drowning. This was how she used those skills to her advance instead of letting them consume her. This was how she lived for herself.

          "You William's daughter?" the woman asked after a few more seconds passed. Her eyes were still narrowed as she trailed her gaze across Izzy's face.

          Izzy felt her heart sink. She wasn't really William's daughter; she was just his blood. And blood meant nothing. Sure, maybe there were instances where blood was thicker than water, but Izzy would rather let the waves of the sea swallow her whole than be another clone of William Windsor. But she couldn't think that now. She had better things to worry about other than her sorry excuse of a father. "Through and through," she sighed, but the words left a bitter taste on her tongue. It was beginning to feel more and more like a curse to be related to the Windsors.

          The woman gave her one last fleeting look before she shook her head and sighed. "Give me a minute," she muttered as she picked up the gold and began walking toward the back room. She moved aside the curtain covering the doorway, then passed over the threshold and disappeared into the room.

          As soon as she was gone, a soft laugh escaped JJ's lips. He turned his attention back to Izzy and nudged her shoulder with his elbow. "Didn't know a Kook could lie like that," he mused as his eyes trailed over her face.

          Izzy felt herself smile. "And here I thought you knew everything about me," she retorted. "Have you been lying to me, Maybank?" The smile only grew on her face . . . and then she felt the twine slowly dissolve into her heart. She couldn't quite tell why it had begun to loosen, but she didn't question it too much. She just thought that maybe it had something to do with the freedom high she received from hanging around the Pogues. That seemed to be the only reasonable explanation.

          JJ raised his brows, then quickly shook his head. "Me? Never," he scoffed, amusement dripping from his tongue.

          Izzy only rolled her eyes at him and opened her mouth to call him an idiot or whatever (she didn't really know). She could feel herself blushing, but she ignored that and began to speak, but before the words could leave her lips, the middle-aged woman walked out of the back room with a sigh.

          "I . . . uh . . . I talked to my boss," the woman began as she approached the counter with a piece of paper in her hands, "and . . . uh . . . this is what I can do." She placed the paper on the counter and slid it toward the two teenagers.

          JJ glanced at it once then shot the woman a look. "Fifty thousand? You think I walked in here not knowing the spot price. Ma'am, I know for a fact this is worth a hundred forty, at least," he spewed as he repeatedly tapped his pointer finger on the gold to emphasize his point.

          The woman gave a hearty scoff. "Well, sweetie you in a pawn shop," she muttered as a mocking smile crawled onto her face. "This ain't Zurich. Do I look Swiss to you?"

          JJ brought his hand up to scratch his eyebrow. "Ninety, or I walk," he challenged, his words brittle and sharp.

          Izzy only rolled her eyes and glanced over her shoulder to shoot John B a glare. She knew they should have just trusted her. Now, they were getting scammed out of their money because of the whole 'can't trust a Windsor' bullshit. And, sure, okay, they were technically right, but they wouldn't have been in this situation if they had just listened to her in the first place.

          "Seventy," the woman offered after a second passed. "Half price . . . and, um . . . I don't ask questions about where you got this."

          JJ glanced at John B, who gave him a nod of approval. Again, Izzy rolled her eyes at the two, but kept her mouth shut. If they wanted to get scammed out of their own money, then whatever. JJ caught sight of her agitation, but didn't say anything, instead, he turned back to the woman and nodded. "I'm gonna' need that in large denominations, please," he said as he tried to contain his grin.

          "Well, here's the snag," the woman sighed as she tapped her fingers on the countertop. "I don't have that much denominated . . . not here anyway. I can write you a cashier's check."

          "Cash . . . no, ma'am," JJ spat as he shook his head. "I want the cold hard cash. That's what the sign says." He raised his hand to point at the sign hanging above the doorway. "Cash for gold. And that's what I expect. I'm gonna' get it in cold hard."

          "Well—" the woman wet her lips— "I have to send you to the warehouse. I have the money there. Is that all right?"

          JJ clenched his jaw and stared at the woman, narrowing his eyes at her. He was silent for a few seconds before he wet his lips and asked, "Where's this warehouse?"

          "Resurrection Drive," the woman muttered. Her eyes snapped to meet Izzy's cold gaze, and she looked the girl up and down. "I'm sure Miss Windsor has a GPS to get you there."

          That rubbed Izzy the wrong way. She felt kerosene pump through her veins, poisoning her bloodstream. It only made her feel nuclear. "Thanks for all your help, ma'am," she spat, her voice dripping with sarcasm and laced with venom. She sent the woman a tight smile (although, it looked more like a grimace) before she turned around and walked out of the pawnshop.

          JJ quickly grabbed the gold and his backpack then took off after her. "Snarky, Princess," he commented as he fell into step with her.

          Izzy rolled her eyes. "Fuck off," she muttered as she flipped him the middle finger. She stopped before the van and shoved open the door, then climbed into the back and plopped down on the seat.

          The next few seconds passed by in a blur. Izzy saw JJ climb into the van and sit down right beside her despite there being plenty of other seats to choose from. He nudged her shoulder, to which Izzy only responded by rolling her eyes and flipping him off. He seemed to find that amusing as a soft laugh escaped his lips before he averted his gaze to the melted down gold in his hands. Izzy watched out of the corner of her eye as JJ ran his finger across the sleek surface, but then the front door to the pawnshop barged open, causing her attention to drift to her friends who were walking out of the store and approaching the van. John B and Sarah were walking in sync with each other while Pope and Kiara trailed behind them.

          "You guys are seriously going to settle for this shit?" Izzy groaned as she flicked her eyes to meet all of her friends' gazes. She wasn't angry per se. She was just agitated that they picked the long route instead of just trusting her. And, yeah, okay, maybe the twine tugging at her heart was starting to piss her off, and she just wanted to get this gold exchange over with so she could paint the rest of the day to relax her mind. "I joined you people to help you, so let me."

          John B looked at her for a second too long before he released a sigh and leaned against the exterior of the van. "Look, I'd rather have seventy than be scammed by your dad," he muttered with a shrug. (Sure, he had a point, but still.)

          "I don't know," Izzy said, biting her lip. "This seems sketchy, and I know sketch."

          John B wet his lips and nodded. "If it's a dead-end, then we'll go to Plan B," he offered. He raised his brows, shooting her a look before he rounded around the van then tugged open the door leading to the driver's seat. He slid inside and slammed the door behind him before he twisted in his seat and focused his gaze back onto Izzy. "Plan B's you, Iz. So, if it's sketch, then it's sketch and we get the fuck out of there. If not, then we go home with wads of cash in our pockets."

          "Whatever," Izzy huffed under her breath as she crossed her arms over her chest and shrugged. "It's your money." She turned her head, and squinted her eyes as she looked out the window.

          "I know you're trying to help, Iz, but we kind of need the money asap," Pope said as he slid into the van and sat in the back seat. "JJ's gotta' pay off his restitution before they actually send him to jail."

           Kiara nodded her head. "Yeah, I hate to be a bummer . . . and I love you. I do, Iz, but . . . you know how it goes . . . " she trailed off as she stepped into the van, slamming the door behind her, and sat in the back, next to Pope. She leaned back against the seat and crossed her arms over her chest, shrugging slightly. "Who knows how long we'd be waiting for your connections to pull through."

          Their words resonated with Izzy, but not in the obvious way. She quickly let the world blur around her as she briefly saw Sarah climb into the front seat before the van roared to life and took off down the road to their destination. Izzy's mind was clouded over with fog as her thoughts scrambled in her brain. But . . . she wasn't hyper-fixating on the idea of the van suddenly combusting like she normally would have been, instead, her thoughts were consumed of questions revolving around JJ and his restitution. In all the chaos, she had forgotten JJ had been arrested only a week or so ago. She didn't realize he would have to pay restitution . . . or rather she didn't realize he hadn't paid it off yet, but she shouldn't have been so oblivious. Money had made her ignorant, and she hated that.

          Izzy tore her gaze from the window and drifted her eyes to focus on the boy sitting beside her. She trailed her eyes over his face, studying how his brows were pinched together and how his mouth was formed into a tight line as he observed the piece of gold in his hands. Then, she felt the twine tighten around her heart, and before she could protest, the words on her mind were flowing from her lips. "You still have to pay your restitution?" she whispered to him so only he could hear.

          JJ tore his eyes from the gold and met her gaze. His mouth was slightly agape as he studied her face for a few seconds before he shut his mouth and cleared his throat. "Yeah . . . apparently sinking a boat is illegal," he muttered, laughing softly but it came out more like a strained scoff.

          Izzy furrowed her brows and pursed her lips. She didn't know what sprung the idea into her head, but one second, she was worried about how JJ was going to pay off his restitution, then the next she was trying to figure out a way to pay it off herself. Money meant nothing to her, and yet it meant everything. She had more than enough dollar bills to spread. "How much?" she ended up asking before she even knew what she was committing to.

          "What?"

          "How much is your restitution?" Izzy rephrased, keeping her eyes steady and focused on the boy's confused face.

           JJ furrowed his brows and shrugged. "Like twenty-five grand."

          Izzy felt her heart drop . . . not because it was a lot of money to her, but because it wasn't. She felt shocked because it wasn't a lot of money to her, but it was to him. That made her feel like shit.

          Money had made Izzy Windsor ignorant, but she was quickly realizing there was no point in being disgustingly rich if it hurt more than it helped. Not a lot of people were as fortunate as her, and she was tired of being a mindless bitch. Really . . . there was no point in having all the money in the world if all she did was buy Chanel bags. She could actually help people with her wads of cash. Plus, she cared about JJ Maybank . . . and twenty-five grand was basically a penny to her, so fuck it.

          "I'll pay it off," Izzy blurted out, the words gliding off her tongue like honey. She wasn't doing this to feel better about herself. She didn't fucking care about some moral high ground bullshit. She wasn't a fucking saint. She knew damn well she wasn't and she didn't want to be. She just wanted to help . . . him.

           JJ stared at her for a minute, confusion and shock swirling in his blue eyes as he trailed his gaze over her face. "What? No, Iz," he muttered as he shook his head. His voice sounded different. He sounded different. "I don't want handouts. I'm not a charity case. We've got the gold, and when we cash it, I can pay it off myself."

            Is that what he thought of her? Did he really think that she . . . pitied him? She didn't. If anything, she thought JJ was more than capable of doing anything he committed to. He had always been ambitious and determined. It was one of the reasons Izzy developed a crush on him when they were kids. Of course, she didn't feel the same now, but she still thought he was ambitious and capable. She just wanted to help, not because she pitied him, but because she just wanted to. She didn't really see why it was such a big deal.

          "It's not a handout," Izzy said after a while. She wet her lips and flicked her eyes down to glance at his hands. She didn't know what she was thinking. She wasn't sure if she was thinking at all, but one second she was staring at his hand, then the next she was reaching forward and grabbing his hand in hers. "It's help." She felt the twine slowly disintegrate into her heart, and she breathed in sharply before she glanced up to meet his confused gaze. She only offered him a soft smile and squeezed his hand.

          The van hit a bump in the road, snapping Izzy out of her trance. She quickly blinked and slid her hand out of JJ's. The feeling of the twine wrapping around her heart quickly followed. But she ignored that and curled a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear as she trained her eyes on the window, watching as the trees zipped past them. And as they continued on down the road, Izzy got the eerie feeling that something wasn't quite right with the situation they had found themselves in. The lack of road signs only deepened that uneasiness floating in her chest.

          "So . . . they really keep the money out here?" Pope abruptly asked.

          But Izzy kept her eyes trained on the world zipping past them just outside the window. Something wasn't right.

          "That's what she said," JJ said, nonchalantly as he glanced out the window. Then a laugh tumbled from his lips and he turned to look at Pope with a wide grin stretched across his face. "That's what she said—"

          "Stop," Pope cut him off, shaking his head. He seemed to have something on his mind, prohibiting him from playing off of JJ's remarks. Maybe he also was having second thoughts about this place they were supposedly supposed to find the warehouse. Maybe this wasn't just in Izzy's head.

          Sarah leaned her arm on the armrest and glanced over her shoulder to look at the others. "I've never heard of Resurrection Drive," she said, pursing her lips. Only then did Izzy realize she also hadn't heard of the place. That only furthered the uneasy feeling swirling in her stomach.

          "It's 'cause you're rich," JJ remarked as he scratched his chin. His eyes fell on Izzy and she pursed her lips, shooting him a look. A half-grin only tugged at his lips at her reaction.

          Kiara rolled her eyes. "You've never heard of it either," she spat, raising a brow at the blond boy.

            "Thank you," Sarah muttered as she briefly narrowed her eyes at JJ, glaring at him. He only shrugged in response.

           "There's nothing but weeds back here," Kiara mentioned, causing the others to glance out the window to see what she was referring to.

          The reveal of only trees surrounding them made Izzy's heart sink further in her chest. She just wanted to shake off the feeling, but it kept eating away at her organs, making her grow anxious. She guessed that was the downside of being an overthinker.

          "All right, just 'cause it's weeds, doesn't mean it's like . . . " JJ trailed off as he glanced out the window again and squinted his eyes at his surroundings.

          Before the van could fall into a suffocating silence, the abrupt noise of a siren sounded from behind them, causing the group to turn around. Their eyes landed on a cop car, trailing after them with its blue and red lights flashing. The others muttered swears and words of confusion while Izzy only thought one thing: Shit. Her father would make her write personalized apologies to everyone in the Outer Banks if she was arrested.

           "Cops?" Kiara muttered under her breath, confusion dripping from her tongue. "Out here?"

           "God! Are you kidding me?" JJ cursed as he ran his tongue across his teeth, setting his jaw.

          "What did we do?" Sarah questioned as she glanced at John B for reassurance. Her brows were raised high on her forehead, and it was clear she was worried about the same thing Izzy was thinking about.

          "Why are we getting pulled over?" John B groaned as he slowly pulled the van over to the side of the dirt road and parked. He turned around in his seat and clamped a hand down on JJ's shoulder. "Stash that." He gestured to the gold in JJ's hands as Pope frantically did the same and motioned for him to shove it in the backpack.

          "Chill, guys," Kiara mumbled, but her voice shook slightly.

           JJ shook his head. "I hate cops," he muttered bitterly as he wrapped the gold in a small used towel.

          A brief look of fear crossed John B's face as he reached forward and tapped JJ's leg. "Did you bring the gun?" he asked, his voice frantic.

           Izzy furrowed her brows. "You still have that fucking thing?" she spat. She knew he had always been kind of a loose cannon, but . . . Jesus.

          JJ briefly flicked his eyes to meet hers. "Yes," he muttered before he turned his attention to John B, "and no. Everybody told me to leave it back at the place."

          "Thank god," Kiara said, sighing in relief. "Please, everything else in your bag."

          "I am!" JJ exclaimed as he quickly shoved the gold in his backpack. "I am, okay?" He stood up from his seat, ushering Izzy to stand as well as Pope sprung to his feet to help JJ open the seat cover to throw the backpack into it. He closed the cover and slammed it into place before he quickly sat back down and reached out to grab Izzy. He tugged her down beside him, pulling her into him as he wrapped an arm around her waist.

          "How much weed do you have on you, bro?" Kiara rushed out.

          JJ quickly patted himself down in response. And all Izzy could think was how royally screwed they all were. They should have just fucking listened to her.

          Pope glanced out the window. "He's walking up," he exclaimed, his voice shaking as he stuffed himself further into his seat.

          They all fidgeted in their seats, trying to seem nonchalant when the sound of a shotgun being cocked echoed in their ears, making them freeze in their seats. Time seemed to blur as Izzy's breath caught in her throat and she glanced at JJ, who was already staring at her with wide eyes. His arm tightened around her waist, and she reached out to grip his shirt as she averted her gaze to find the source of the sound. Her eyes landed on a man whose lower half of his face was masked with a bandana. But that wasn't what made her heart sink in her chest. What made her wish she was anywhere but there was the fact that the man was standing outside of the driver's side with the barrel of a shotgun pointed at John B's head.

          Fuck, Izzy thought. This was the bad thing she had been suspecting. And this was no cop, only a man with the power to take all their lives. He was a monster . . . if you will.

          "Why don't I go ahead and see them hands in the air?" the man yelled as he flicked his eyes toward the back. "All ya'll's hands up in the air now!" At his words, they all slowly raised their hands in the air as their hearts hammered in their chests. This seemed to please the man as he averted his gaze back to John B and nodded his head. "You, out of the car! Let's go! Out of the car! Let's go! Hurry!"

           As his yells intensified, John B quickly slid out of the van with his hands in the air. He was alive. He was still alive, but Izzy wasn't thinking that. She was too busy imagining all the scenarios where the man pulled the trigger on John B, and his brain matter splattered across the windows. And then, all she saw was red. It was just red and dark. She felt like she was drifting into the darkness, slowly drowning as the world passed her by in a blur.

            "Now let them out!" the man yelled, snapping Izzy out of the darkness. She focused her gaze on the scene before her and found the man was gesturing for John B to open the back door to let the others out of the van. But John B didn't budge, and that made Izzy grow even more anxious. The man seemed to grow more agitated by this too, as he shoved the gun at John B, forcing him to stumble backward. "What are you waitin' on? What are you waitin' on? Let them out!"

          John B nodded rapidly as he opened the passenger's side door, letting Sarah out of the van. The girl quickly raised her hands in the air and stumbled back to stand beside John B. But the boy shoved her behind him, blocking her body with his as he reached out to slide open the back door for the others. Pope slowly stepped out of the car with his hands raised high in the air, and Kiara followed him, looking as pale as a ghost. Izzy slowly rose to her feet, shaking slightly as images of her friends' dead bodies flashed in her brain. She couldn't watch them all die. She had spent years claiming she didn't care about anybody but herself but she did care. She cared more than she could explain and that terrified her. But then she felt a hand slid into hers, and her mind slowly eased.

           "It's okay. It's okay. No one's dying, all right?" JJ whispered in her ear as he squeezed her hand. "I got you. I got you." She didn't dare look at him, but she squeezed his hand back before she slid her hand out of his and raised her hands in the air. She then stepped out of the car with JJ following her, and joined the others.

            "There you go. All of y'all out now," the man muttered as he ushered them out by pointing the shotgun at them. He trailed his eyes over the teenagers, but he stopped when his eyes landed on Izzy. And then, he laughed. "Oh, this is rich. Country Club's chick. Your picture's in my boy, Rafe's wallet. How'd you end up here?"

           Izzy swallowed hard but she kept her mouth shut. But she couldn't help but wonder how he knew her. She wondered how he knew Rafe, and just how much he knew about them all.

           "Leave her alone, man," JJ spat through gritted teeth.

           The man's coal eyes flicked to JJ. "Did I say you could talk?" he yelled, shoving the gun at him. "I'm just wondering how someone like her ended up on the wrong side of the tracks." His eyes flicked back to Izzy, and she could have sworn he was grinning at her. "I wonder what she'd look like with her brains splattered on the ground." He raised the barrel of the gun, leveling it with Izzy's head.

          Izzy didn't even have time to react, she only felt her heart flatline in her chest as an arm wrapped around her waist and tugged her backward. The arm belonged to JJ, and he made sure to tug her behind him, blocking her body with his. "Leave us alone," JJ spat, trying to calm his voice but his words were filled with anger. "We're broke." He slowly raised his hands in the air in surrender. "We ain't got anything."

           But the man didn't care for his words. He stepped forward and aimed the gun at JJ. "Shut the hell up!" he yelled, his voice echoing in the silence.

          "All right!" JJ yelled. "Just relax!" He hastily stepped back with Izzy gripping onto the back of his shirt and Pope trying to pull him away from the man.

           "Shut the hell up! Shut up!" the man continued to spew. He shoved the gun at the group, causing them to all stumble backward.

          Izzy tried to stay grounded to reality, but her head was spinning. Images of her friends . . . of JJ lying lifelessly on the gravel with their heads caved in and brain matter seeping onto the asphalt, crowded her mind. There was so much blood. It flowed over their shoulders, thick and wet like drenched hair, creating a stark contrast with the pink of their brains. She couldn't handle seeing that again. She couldn't lose them, not when she had just recently let herself care. She realized why she tried to stop caring.

          "I'll blow your head off! Lay down in the ditch! Lay down in the ditch!" the man began bellowing out again, causing Izzy to tear herself from her mind and plant her feet in reality. She locked eyes with the man as he continued to point the loaded gun at them. "Lay in the ditch!" With his gun, he gestured to the ditch on the side of the road. "On your goddamn hands and knees! Down! Put your face on the ground!" As he continued to yell, the group obeyed, and slowly lowered to the ground with their hands still raised in the air and their foreheads buried into the gravel. "Don't let me see you look up! All right? That's all y'all gotta' do."

           Izzy tried to keep her cool. She tried breathing in through her nose and breathing out through her mouth, but nothing worked. She snapped her eyes closed, squeezing them tightly shut and waited for the stars to appear in the darkness to calm her senses. But the stars never came, and she only saw blood. Red, dark blood. There was so much blood she swore she could almost smell its metallic stench.

          "It's a setup, guys," Kiara muttered. But Izzy didn't open her eyes to look her way, she just kept trying to find the stars.

           "That old bat shanked us," JJ spat, clenching his jaw. He pounded his fist into the ground, causing the dirt and leaves to shift. "Fuck! Goddammit!"

           But Izzy didn't care to open her eyes to see how the others were taking this. She couldn't open her eyes. Her eyelids stayed glued shut, forcing her to live through all the scenarios where she and her friends were shot one by one and tossed into the woods, never to be found. She began breathing heavily at the thought as her body shook slightly. She didn't see a light at the end of the tunnel. It was just dark and there was so much blood. But then a hand clamped down on her shoulder, and her eyes opened. The images of the blood drifted from her senses a second later.

          "Hey, hey, Iz, Iz, look at me," she heard JJ whisper to her as he brought his hand to her face. His hand shook slightly as he brushed her blonde hair out of her face and caressed her cheek.

          Izzy slowly turned her head to meet his worried eyes. "JJ . . . " she breathed out. His gaze nursed the twine wrapped around her heart.

          JJ wet his lips and breathed in sharply. "I got you," he said shakily as he moved his hand to meet hers and interlocked their fingers. It was a small gesture, but it managed to calm Izzy's breathing as she continued to search his eyes. She could tell fear was coursing through his veins, and he didn't want to show it, but she saw and she squeezed his hand in an attempt to comfort him.

           "John B, don't be a hero, man," Pope said, causing JJ and Izzy to abruptly turn their attention to the issue at hand.

          John B slowly stood to his feet with a finger pressed against his lips, to tell them to keep quiet. He stealthily stepped backward, approaching the man's vehicle and sliding into the backseat. He laid down in the backseat, disappearing from the others' views. That left the others to all share a worried glance, but they didn't have any time to speak before the man hopped out of the van and approached them again.

           "All right, y'all stay just like that," the man yelled as he shoved a finger at them. His gun was lowered at his side, but that didn't ease any of their thoughts. "Unless you want your brains blown out all over this road. Don't move your goddamn heads, okay?"

           The man continued backing up until he reached his vehicle, then he slid in and dropped the shotgun in the passenger's seat. He set the gold aside as well, then began searching for something. But before he could get too far, John B sprung from the backseat and grabbed the gun. He quickly shoved open the door and tried getting out, but the man was quicker and lunged for the boy, fighting him for the gun.

          At the sight of this, the group sprung up from the ditch. JJ was the first to move, letting go of Izzy's hand and running toward his friend and the man attacking him. He swung his hand forward, attempting to punch the man in the face. But the man was quicker and punched JJ in the face then threw him to the ground. Kiara was quick to try and swing at the man, but he only stopped her actions and threw her to the ground. JJ tackled him, the two of them swinging at each other. While they went at it, Pope dove for the vehicle and Sarah stood by watching as Izzy looked around for something to hit the man with to help JJ.

            When Izzy couldn't find anything other than twigs, she swore under her breath and approached the quarrel with her hands clenched into fists. She didn't know what she was doing, she was just so fucking angry. Her blood felt like it was burning her veins. Her mind was clouded over with rage as JJ shoved the man, causing him to stumble backward which gave Izzy enough leverage to swing her hand back to gain momentum before she flashed her fist forward and punched the man across the jaw. She barely felt the pain in her hand as she wrung her hand out and watched as the man staggered slightly. He quickly set his sights on her, but before he could react, John B hit him in the back with the butt of the gun. The impact caused the man to collapse on the ground.

           "I got the gold!" Pope yelled, running around the vehicle to join the others. As he approached them, Sarah used the car door to hit the man groveling on the ground, and the others helped by kicking him. The man leaned up against the car door, breathing heavily as he glanced at the teenagers. John B wasted no time and reached forward, pulling down the man's bandana to reveal his face.

           "I know this piece of shit," JJ spat. "He's a basehead. He sells coke to my dad."

            "That's how he knows Rafe," Izzy muttered bitterly. She realized this must have been the drug dealer that gave Rafe the nasty burn mark on his arm. Barry, she thought his name was.

           Barry only grinned, his eyes landing on Izzy. "I see why Rafe likes you. Kind of a pretty thing, and that was one hell of a punch, too," he remarked, bringing a hand up to touch his jaw. "Maybe I'll have to see what you're all about. I have a feeling—"

           Before he could finish his sentence, JJ ripped the gun out of John B's hands and hit Barry across the face with the end of the weapon. Izzy blinked in shock, her brows knitting together as she watched John B and Pope hold JJ back. But JJ didn't oblige. He only glared at the man with his jaw clenched.

            "Let's just get out of here, okay?" John B mumbled, patting JJ's chest.

           JJ only responded by shoving him away from him. He reached into Barry's front pocket and pulled out his wallet. He sifted through the wallet and pulled out his license, staring at it with a look in his eyes. "We got one last stop," he muttered as he began to walk back to the van.

           "Hey!" John B called out to him in protest.

            "Let's go see where this son of a bitch lives!" JJ countered as he hopped into the driver's seat and started the engine.

           The others reluctantly trailed after him, climbing into the van. But before they could take off, they heard Barry call out to them. "I'm gonna' remember this shit! You can't hide from me!" he yelled. "I know exactly who y'all are! You hear me?"

           He continued yelling after them, but JJ had already stepped on the gas. As the van took off down the road, Izzy's mind melded into a blur. She couldn't ground herself to reality, she was only thinking about JJ. She wanted to comfort him like he always did for her, but she didn't know how to calm his rage. He shared the same fire which burned inside her own veins. She hadn't even learned how to tame her flames, so she was clueless when it came to him.

           It seemed before Izzy even blinked, the van was pulling into Barry's driveway and parking in front of his worn-down house. "Dude, why are we at Barry's?" Pope muttered from beside her as he glanced at JJ for the answers to the questions swirling in his brain.

          JJ pulled out the license and looked at it then glanced at the house before he opened the door and slid out of the car. "This'll only take a second," he muttered as he approached the house.

            John B leaned out the passenger's side window. "Where are you going?"

           "Yo soy justicia," JJ yelled back as he walked into the house.

             Pope slid open the back door and leaned his arms on his knees. "Did you glean anything from that?" he asked the group.

            "It means 'I am justice'," Izzy muttered under her breath.

             The others looked at her with narrowed eyes. "You know Spanish?" Pope asked, voicing the group's thoughts.

          Izzy shrugged. "We used to go to Madrid all the time when I was little. My mom made sure I knew the language," she mumbled. "I know French sorta, too. But . . . whatever, JJ's going to do something and I have a feeling it's not going to have a good outcome."

           "Yeah," Kiara agreed, biting her lip, "someone should probably—"

            "Yeah, I got it," John B offered as he opened the door and slid out of the car. He approached the house and disappeared inside, leaving the others to sit in silence.

           When the silence became too much, Pope hopped out of the car and began pacing around the yard. Kiara climbed out after him with Sarah following, then Izzy joined them and the four of them stared off into the distance, letting the silence suffocate them. Izzy wet her lips and glared at the sun slowly fading into the ground. She continued watching the sun set for a few more minutes, until the screen door leading to the house slammed open and JJ and John B walked out. But the confusing part about it all was the foreign bag JJ was holding in his hands. It was obviously filled with drug money, which made her grow more concerned.

            "All right, so, we're looking at four or five grand each for reparations for putting us through that bullshit," JJ muttered under his breath as he messed with the bag. "Sorry about that y'all."

           "So that's what we're doing now?" Kiara spat. She shook her head and scoffed. "We're robbing drug dealers?"

          "This Barry guy's gonna' find out," Sarah added. "And he's gonna' come after us."

          "Yes, he will," Pope bit out, nodding his head. "This is not the time to start willin' out."

          Izzy kept her mouth shut. She couldn't find the words to express how she was feeling. She just wanted this day to end.

          JJ bit his cheek and shook his head. "How'd you like having a gun pulled on you?" he asked as he glanced at the group with his eyes narrowed into slits.

           John B stepped forward, getting close to JJ. "Relax," he said calmly as he put a hand on his friend's chest.

           But JJ wasn't having it. "He had it right on you, bro," he spat as he shoved a finger in John B's face. He dropped his hand and a look plagued his face as he clenched his jaw, the muscles twitching in his face. "He had that thing in Izzy's face. He almost shot her, man."

           "Look," John B blurted out, shoving his hand with the cast in the boy's face. "We've gotta' go get the gold, okay? Just give me that shit. We're putting it back." He attempted to grab the bag from JJ, but the Maybank boy ripped it out of his grasp and shoved him into the van. But that didn't faze the Routledge boy. "You feel like a tough guy, huh? What are you gonna' do when he comes for us?"

           "We punch him . . . in the throat," JJ muttered through gritted teeth.

           "Yeah, good fuckin' idea, JJ," John B scoffed.

            "I'm not putting it back," JJ said with a shrug. He backed up and then climbed into the back of the van, sitting down on one of the seats as he messed with the bag. But no one followed his lead. "You guys getting in or what?" Still, no one moved, and JJ nodded before he dropped the bag then slid out of the car and sent them all a look. "What?"

           "We're sick of your shit," John B spat, and some of the others nodded in agreement.

           But Izzy put her hand up. "Okay, come on, you're the one who didn't want to listen to me," she stated simply. "We're in this shit because of you." And she wasn't wrong. If they weren't so stubborn they could have possibly been tracking their money's arrival on a computer screen.

            "Izzy, just stay out of it," John B muttered as he gave her the side-eye.

          "Don't talk to her like that, man," JJ spat, shaking his head. "You're sick of my shit, huh? What exactly is that?"

            "Your pulling guns on people shit," Kiara informed as she crossed her arms over her chest.

            "You acting like a maniac—" Pope began.

            But JJ cut him off. "Okay, Pope, I took the fall for you, man!" he yelled. His face softened, his eyes glossing over. "Know how much I owe because of you?"

             It became clear in Izzy's mind that JJ hadn't been the one to sink Topper's boat. He had just taken the fall for Pope. That only convinced Izzy more to pay off the restitution herself.

           "I'm gonna' pay you back, and I didn't even ask you to do that!" Pope argued, but his face softened, showing that the guilt was eating away at his insides.

           "I just did!" JJ yelled, clenching his jaw. "Pay it back. Right here, right now, by myself." He paused for a moment before he shook his head and reached for the bag inside the van. "You know what? That's exactly what I'm gonna' do. Go off by myself." He threw the bag over his shoulder and began walking away from the group.

          The others stood there and watched him. Pope attempted to go after him, however, John B pulled him back. But Izzy wasn't having it. She didn't know where JJ was going or what'd he do, and she needed him to be safe. The thought of walking into the hospital and seeing his corpse made her want to hurl. She just couldn't have that. He had watched her website after her mother died to make sure she wouldn't spiral out of control. He had wanted to make sure she was safe, and fucking hell, she wanted to do the same for him. So she stepped forward, but someone clamped a hand down on her arm, prohibiting her from advancing.

           Izzy glanced over her shoulder to see Kiara holding her back. "Let him be alone, Iz," she pleaded, her brown eyes wide and glossed over with concern.

           But Izzy wasn't having it. She knew they were right about JJ's reckless behavior, but it was that fact which convinced her, even more, to run after him. No one knew what he'd do. "No one should be alone," she mumbled before she tore her arm out of her grasp and began jogging after the blond boy. When she caught sight of him, she called out for him. "JJ, wait!"

            JJ halted in his tracks, slowly turning around to look at her. His hard expression softened as he realized it was her walking toward him, but his jaw remained locked. "I'm not going back, Iz," he muttered as he shook his head.

            "Just put the money back," Izzy breathed. She just wanted him safe. "I can pay off your restitution, okay? I'll pay it."

            JJ shook his head. "No, I'm not a charity case," he bit out as he clenched his jaw. "I paid it off, by myself. I don't need your money." His eyes narrowed in on her before he sighed. "Tell the others they can go fuck themselves." And then he was gone, turning around and walking away from her.

            "JJ!" Izzy called out, but he continued walking, leaving her to just stand there, her arms weakly hanging by her sides as she watched the boy walk further and further away from her. The twine wrapped around her heart tugged harder and harder the further he walked, causing a painful ache to spread throughout her body. It seemed he was the one on the other end, tugging the rope which dug through her heart. And for a second she let herself wonder why that was. She let herself wonder why every time she was around him, the twine disintegrated slightly and why every time she talked about him, it nursed the ache. And then she wondered why it bothered her so much that he had left her behind. God, why did it bother her so much?

          And then it clicked.

          As Izzy Windsor watched JJ Maybank walk further away from her, becoming nothing more than a speck in the distance, she realized what she had been trying to ignore ever since the first day she met the boy. She realized the twine wrapped around her heart only tugged, ripping the surface of the organ whenever JJ was out of sight. And then she realized why that occurred. She realized she liked him. She had liked him three years ago. And fucking hell, she still did.

a/n: i do apologize for this being so long, but i didn't want to separate it so bear with me!! but,,,, izzy finally opened her damn eyes and realized she likes jj. we love to see it.

the next two chapters break my heart ....... prepare yourselves ✨✨✨

also if anyone was wondering what shirt jj was referring to it was this one:

thanks for reading!