chapter three
do you feel held by him?

$$

The stars made Izzy feel. Sure, she felt things on a regular basis. She was human, after all. But the stars winking at her in the night sky always had a way of making her feel the most. She felt safe with them hanging above her head, twinkling in the darkness.

          Every time Izzy stared into the sky and saw twinkling stars staring back at her, she realized the universe was huge. She lived in North Carolina on Earth which was only one of the eight planets (nine if you counted Pluto, which Izzy did) in their solar system plus the many moons and the Sun. She was just one person in the universe. She was a speck, practically nothing, and that very thought made her feel a whole lot better when she started feeling sorry for herself. Because when she stared at the dark sky, the stars made her feel like her problems were small, almost nonexistent. She liked feeling like she was just a speck, not a rich girl with a dead mom and too many emotions to control.

          Later that night as the moon began to take its place in the sky, the beach was consumed by a blanket of darkness adorned with the things Izzy loved most in life—stars. The only source of light came from the small fire at the center of the beach with warm bodies surrounding it as they drank from their red solo cups and conversed amongst each other. Izzy stood off to the side away from the group of people. She hadn't realized how much time had passed since they first arrived at the Boneyard hours ago until she glanced at the sky and saw the stars winking back at her. The stars told her to drive back home, but Izzy just kept staring at them, wondering when one of her friends would come to get her and force her to retire to her car. But until then, she stayed gazing at the stars wishing she was anywhere other than trapped in boring North Carolina.

          Someone approached her and stood beside her, but she didn't look to see who the person was. "Are you still mad at me?" they asked.

          Izzy rolled her eyes, already knowing who was standing beside her. She didn't need to look to know Rafe Cameron had decided to finally talk to her for the first time that night. "Are you still an asshole?" she snapped, her voice curt.

          Rafe sighed. "I just want us to be us again."

          Izzy clenched her jaw. "Then fix it."

          A scoff left Rafe's lips. "How am I supposed to fix it when all you do is pick fights with me?" he asked, dragging a hand down his face. "It's like you don't even want to be with me."

          Izzy forced herself to meet his gaze. She stared at him for a moment, taking in the look in his blue eyes. She missed when she'd stare into those eyes and her worries would drift into oblivion. She missed when Rafe Cameron wasn't a complete asshole. She missed the boy he used to be and she missed when he'd wrap his arms around her and she'd feel held by him. But he wasn't like that anymore. He'd changed and Izzy didn't know how to handle that. So instead, she forced herself to try and reason with him. "When you learn to apologize, I'll stop fighting with you," she bluntly spat.

          Rafe narrowed his brows. "What do I need to be sorry about?"

          Izzy shook her head and scoffed. "Are you fucking serious?"

          "I don't know what I did," he claimed. And he wasn't lying either, he really had no clue what he did wrong. That made it so much worse.

           "And that's your problem," Izzy spat before she attempted to leave, but a hand wrapped around her forearm, stopping her.

          "Hey, hey, look—" Rafe pulled her into him and dragged his hands up and down her arms. He brought a hand to her chin, lifting it up to bring her eyes to meet his— "I'm sorry for whatever I did to make you mad at me, okay? I'm sorry. Can we just stop fighting? I swear to never hurt you again."

          Izzy stared at him for a while. She wondered how many times she'd have to forgive him for all the shit he put her through. She wondered what would be the breaking point. And she wondered if she'd be an alcoholic forty-year-old by the time she finally decided to leave the boy standing before her. Because truth be told, she saw her whole life laid out in front of her and she despised it. But she didn't have room to be picky. "Fine," was all she could manage without setting herself on fire.

          A smile tugged at the corners of Rafe's lips. "So we're good?"

          Izzy didn't want to forgive him. She wanted to storm off and retire to her car. She wanted to leave him. God, she wanted to leave him so badly, but she couldn't. Sticking with Rafe meant she wouldn't have to worry about the uncertain. She wouldn't have to be disappointed if things didn't go her way, because with Rafe she knew she'd be richer than ever and secure for life if she stuck with him. Surely, she'd be happy then. So, she forced herself to smile up at the boy in front of her. "Yeah, whatever," she whispered and gave a shrug.

          Rafe smiled at her words, but it didn't look genuine. His smile felt more like the result of a victory. He wasn't smiling because he was happy Izzy forgave him. He was smiling because he'd gotten exactly what he wanted—Izzy wrapped around his finger. And Izzy knew it too, but for some reason she didn't care. She was oddly okay with her life being just mediocre. She was fine with never being consumed by the feeling of love everyone her age seemed to be obsessed with conquering. She was fine with it all if it meant it'd stop the void growing in her chest.

          "So what are you doing over here?" he asked, tearing her from her intrusive thoughts.

          The Windsor girl sighed. She was fine with being mediocre. She had to be, she reminded herself. Mediocre was fine. Mediocre was good enough. Izzy's life was good enough. Being with Rafe was good enough. "Just staring at the stars," she muttered before she could slip up and say what was actually on her mind.

          Rafe tore his eyes from her face and glanced at the sky. He hummed in acknowledgment and continued squinting into the darkness. He didn't care about the stars. He was probably thinking about how soon he could get out of there and get another beer. Izzy knew that and it made her roll her eyes. She averted her gaze from the boy before her and scanned the beach. Her eyes traveled across the calm waves of the ocean to the surface of the beach where all the locals and tourists gathered amongst each other. She made eye contact with a few of them and held their gaze, waiting for them to crack under the pressure and look away. When they did, she moved onto the next person until someone in particular caught her eye.

          JJ Maybank stood among a group of people, holding a cup filled with beer in his hand. Izzy wouldn't have paid him any mind, except he wasn't just standing there minding his own business, he was staring straight at her with a condescending smirk on his face. She narrowed her eyes at him and scowled. The smirk on his face seemed to remind her she wasn't above the rest of the people in the Outer Banks; it seemed to tell her that she was just Izzy Windsor, the spoiled rich bitch who wouldn't amount to anything more than an alcoholic housewife before she reached the age of thirty.

          Izzy flipped him off, which only prompted JJ to laugh and tip his cup at her before he brought the cup to his lips and took a sip. He thought he was so much better than her, and Izzy couldn't have him walking around with that train of thought on his mind. She had to show him she was better than he ever would be. She was going to give him a show.

          So Izzy did the only thing that came to her mind and reached forward to bring Rafe's face to hers, smashing her lips onto his. She kissed him hard, but she barely felt the warmth of his lips on hers, she was too preoccupied with keeping her eyes locked on JJ's. The smirk on JJ's face quickly fell and a scowl replaced it before he tore his gaze from the two Kooks and searched the crowd for his friends. Izzy grinned at his submission and she immediately tore away from Rafe with that grin still on her face. She'd given him something to look at. She knew she had won, and this time she gotten under his skin. That was enough to make the smirk cement on her face.

          "Hey, lovebirds!" a voice called to them, ripping Izzy from her thoughts. She glanced over her shoulder to see Topper waving them over. Sarah stood beside him, shaking her head as she playfully rolled her eyes. He was clearly a little intoxicated and Sarah was trying her best to keep him in check. "We're going in the water! Come on!"

          Izzy crossed her arms over her chest. "God, he's so drunk."

          "But he's got a good idea, right?" Rafe said.

          Izzy turned her head back to him. "What? No," she spat, her words like ice in her veins. "No, Rafe, I don't want to go in the water."

          Rafe rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on, it's the summer, we should be having fun," he groaned. "You don't want to get shitfaced then fine, but we could go for a swim. Maybe . . . even skinny dip."

          Izzy shot him a blank face. Ever since she was a little girl, she hated the ocean and pools, but mostly the ocean because she had no idea of what could be hiding in the darkness of the water. She supposed it had something to do with her parents never teaching her how to swim, but the ocean was a horrifying mystery, too. That fact that only five percent of it had been explored scared the shit out of her. "No, I don't like the ocean," was what she said instead of admitting to her childish fear.

          "Fucking hell, do you like anything?" Rafe spat under his breath.

          And so it began. Rafe the asshole was back in a matter of five minutes and Izzy wasn't amused in the slightest. "And you say I pick fights," she spat, her voice like venom as she raised her brows at him.

          Rafe stared at her for a second before he shook his head. "Come on, we're going in." In one swift movement, he picked her up in his arms and began carrying her to the ocean.

          Fear pumped in Izzy's heart as she clutched her tote bag to her chest. "No, Rafe! Stop!" she yelled as she gripped onto his shoulders, trying to cement herself to his skin. Maybe if she held on tight enough, he wouldn't be able to let go of her.

          A laugh boomed in Rafe's chest. "Trust me, you'll love it."

          Izzy slapped his chest. "Rafe, I swear to god if you throw me into the fucking ocean, I'll kick you in the balls."

          Rafe stopped where the water met the sand. He locked his eyes on her and raised a brow. "You'll kick me in the balls, huh?"

          Izzy grumbled and opened her mouth to curse him out but before she could utter a word, he tossed her into the ocean. A scream ripped through her throat as she submerged into the water. Saltwater shot up her nose, burning the back of her throat as her head dunked under the surface of the water. For a second she thought she was drowning, but she forced herself to try to stay calm. She managed to stand to her feet, coughing saltwater out of her lungs as she looked for Rafe through her blurry vision. When she caught sight of him, he was laughing. That was when she noticed everyone else was also staring at her and some of them were laughing along with her boyfriend.

          At that moment Izzy didn't care if the entirety of the Outer Banks thought she was a basket case if she overreacted, she just focused on the anger burning through her veins and locked her eyes on Rafe. She trudged out of the water and shoved Rafe's chest. He only faltered slightly, but it was enough to silence the laughter booming in his chest. "Asshole!" she yelled and she shoved at his chest again, this time harder.

          With that, Izzy flipped him off and moved past her group of friends to walk toward the fire. She plopped down on a piece of driftwood and quickly fixed her dress then combed a hand through her wet hair. She realized she lost her sunglasses and tote bag when she was thrown into the water, but she didn't care to go find them. She had thousands at home and she'd just ask her dad to buy her a new phone (it wasn't like she had anything important on her phone anyway). At that moment she was only thinking about how disgusting she felt and how there was definitely sand where there shouldn't have been but she didn't feel like getting up and sitting in her car in wet clothes. So she decided to sit by the fire in silence and wait until she was dry enough to drive home.

          As the minutes passed, Izzy watched the people around her. She caught sight of Scarlet and Jennifer talking to a group of teens that also went to their boarding school. She rolled her eyes at them, and continued to sulk. (So much for trying to have fun.)

          The world started to blur in her vision as time ticked by. She had to shoot many people glares to get them to stop staring at her, but none of them went as far as to utter a word to her until a certain someone decided to make her night even worse by approaching her. "Afraid of the ocean, Princess?" JJ asked, his voice deep and smooth. "Can't risk the hair, I assume." He reached out and twisted a piece of her wet hair between his fingers.

          Izzy smacked his hand. "Fuck. Off," she spat through gritted teeth.

          A small laugh escaped JJ's lips as he sat down beside her on the driftwood. Izzy snapped her head to glare at him. He would have shot his hands up in surrender, but he was holding two cups filled with beer, so he only leaned away from her as an amused smirk lifted onto his face. "Relax, I don't bite," he claimed. Izzy didn't care. She still glared at him, which seemed to only amuse him more as he shook his head at her, the smirk still on his face. He met her eyes once more and stared at her for a moment before he offered her one of the cups in his hands. "Want one?"

          Izzy glanced between his face and the cup in his hands. She didn't like to drink that much. Her father's voice was always in the back of her mind, reminding her if she took a sip of alcohol or hit a joint, she'd be considered worthless. But Izzy already felt so useless already, so whatever. Plus, she really needed a fucking drink to numb her thoughts and nerves.

           A small groan left her lips before she shot her hand forward and grabbed the cup from him. She lifted it to her lips and tilted her head back as she consumed the beverage as quickly as she could. She barely noticed the bitter taste it left on her tongue as she swallowed the last drop. She hoped it'd make her feel better, but she only felt the weight on her chest intensify.

          The Windsor girl looked at the bottom of the empty cup and sighed. She realized JJ was still sitting beside her, staring at her. She cleared her throat and shoved the cup into his chest. "Here," she spat as she looked at him up and down.

          JJ raised his brows. "Do I look like your butler? Find a trash bag."

          Izzy pursed her lips. "Sorry . . . I thought you worked as a waiter . . . I guess I just assumed you were at the Kooks' every beck and call off the job, too." She brought the empty cup back to her body and cradled it in her hands, tapping her fingernails on the plastic. She figured maybe if she kept the cup instead of getting up and throwing it away then it would distract her from wanting to punch someone in the face.

          "Ouch," JJ winced, touching a hand to his chest as if he was actually hurt, but the expression on his face gave his true emotions away. "You know . . . I thought you didn't drink? First, you spilled that beer I poured for you on the sand, which, hurt. What a waste of a good beverage. But, anyway, now you're taking my beer and drinking it. I don't know if you're spiraling out of control or what but you're very inconsistent . . . "

          Izzy furrowed her brows in confusion, wondering how JJ knew that. "How would you know?" she asked before she could stop herself. She quickly shook her head and waved him off to stop him from answering the question. "Whatever, it's not true anyway. I drink . . . just not a lot."

          JJ shrugged and brought his cup of beer to his lips. "And apparently you don't swim either," he commented under his breath before he took a sip from the beverage. "But I have to say, it was amusing watching you get out of the water. Your bathing suit's showing by the way."

          Izzy rolled her eyes and groaned. "Oh, God, go away."

          A grin lifted onto JJ's face. "No can do. You can't get rid of me so easily."

          "Yeah, I know," Izzy spat as she narrowed her eyes into slits. "You're like a fucking parasite."

          "Parasite, huh?" JJ hummed in amusement. "What kind of parasite?"

          Izzy made a face. "I don't know. The ones with diseases."

          JJ laughed but covered it with a scoff. "That hurt. That hurt really bad. I'll have you know I don't have any diseases. I keep it very clean."

          "Gross," Izzy muttered, scrunching up her nose in disgust.

          JJ shrugged as he took another sip of his beer. "You asked."

          Izzy shook her head. "No, actually I don't think I did."

          "Ah—" JJ tapped a finger on his head— "but you know you were thinking it."

          "I really wasn't," Izzy spat, her voice void of emotion. "I was actually thinking about the best way to kill you . . . again."

          JJ toyed with the idea in his head before he nodded in agreement and gave a hum. "Well, in the past few days or so, you've managed to almost drown me and then you almost ran me over with your car, so I'd say you have a pretty good idea."

          "I didn't try to drown you," Izzy spat, her voice harsh and sharp. "You're—" she shoved a finger into his chest— "the idiot who thought it was a good idea to run on a dock with boats coming in and out. It's your own damn fault that you fell into the water, not mine. And the car was a fuckin' accident."

          JJ scoffed as he shook his head. From the look on his face, he seemed to be a little annoyed by her proclamations. "Speeding down the street that I just so happened to be walking across was an accident?" He clicked his tongue and downed the rest of his beer. "Nah, bullshit. You want me dead."

          Anger and frustration bottled up in Izzy. She wanted to shake him and make him understand that she was right and he was wrong. "God, you are infuriating," she groaned as she tangled her fingers in her now damp hair and tightly shut her eyes. "Sometimes I swear, JJ, your brain is filled with seaweed." Her eyes stayed closed as the anger boiled in her veins. She figured maybe if she couldn't see his face, she wouldn't want to scream at him.

          "Seaweed Brain, huh? Pretty creative insult, Princess," JJ mused, the words tumbling off his tongue like silk, but an underlying tone of annoyance shined through. He still hated her. His voice had just given him away.

          Izzy stifled her anger, desperately trying to keep her emotions locked in a bottle. But some of her frustration broke through the walls she had put up. "I'm literally going to punch you." she seethed through clenched teeth. She felt like kerosene was coursing through her veins, plaguing her bloodstream.

          "Oh, hold on—" JJ nudged her shoulder, causing her to open her eyes to watch him tap his bottom lip— "do it here. Chicks love busted lips."

          Izzy shot him a blank look. "No girl thinks that."

          "Really?" JJ asked in a mocking tone. Izzy wasn't amused. "Huh. Because I can list five girls right now. Uh, Andrea—" he tapped one of his fingers as he combed through his brain for a list of girls to prove his point— "that one Touron girl and . . . oh, fuck I forget her name." He put another finger up and tapped on his third finger as he tried to think of the girl on his mind. He snapped his fingers when the name popped into his head. "Oh! Daphne! And—"

          As he continued to speak, Izzy's patience disintegrated and she let the bottle containing her chaos explode. She shot forward and clamped a hand down over the boy's mouth to prevent him from talking any further. His lips were soft against the palm of her hand which confused her considering she expected JJ Maybank to have chapped lips or something of that sort. Her other hand was resting on his thigh to stabilize herself, but she wasn't thinking about that. Her thoughts were somewhere else and she found herself wondering why her cheeks felt hot as it dawned on her how close they were. She waved off her thoughts and convinced herself the heat from his skin was just radiating off onto hers. There was no way she was blushing.

          Izzy forced her intrusive thoughts to the back of her head and glared into his blue eyes. "Say another word and I'll give you more than a busted lip," she spat. She had to force herself to ignore how his lips felt against the palm of her hand as he smiled at her threat.

          JJ brought his hand up to wrap around hers and pulled it away from his lips. "Promise?" he asked in a low, hushed voice that only she could hear. His hand was still wrapped around hers, holding the palm of her hand to his chest as the two of them stared into each other's eyes.

          Izzy wondered why he was speaking so quietly and why he was staring at her like that. It all made her feel so weird . . . like everyone else on the beach had faded into a blur and the only person in focus was him. She didn't like that feeling, so she ignored it. "I hate you," she bit out before she could ask him the questions plaguing her mind.

          JJ only winked at her in response and opened his mouth to comment about his hatred toward her, but before he could, someone approached the two of them and caught their attention.

          The two of them tore their gazes from each other and glanced up to see Rafe staring at them with a fire in his eyes. "Iz, what's going on here?" he asked, anger dripping from his tongue as he glanced between Izzy's hand in JJ's and her other hand on his thigh. He tore his gaze from their hands and looked between their faces.

          Izzy tore her body from the boy beside her and crossed her arms over her chest as she stood to her feet. "Nothing, Rafe," she spat. She was still angry at him for throwing her in the water, so seeing him like that made her feel content. Maybe then he'd start treating her like she was more to him than just his girlfriend.

          Rafe scoffed. "Really? Because it looks to me that you ditched me to talk with some dirty Pogue."

          Before Izzy could open her mouth and curse him out, JJ stood to his feet and interrupted them. "Let me guess . . . trouble in paradise?" he mocked as a smirk tugged at his lips. "Oh, Rafe, man—" he patted Rafe's chest then pointed a finger at him— "is it because you can't get it up? You know my dad has pills for that. I can hook you up if you want."

          A mixture of shock and anger plagued Rafe's face. "What the fuck did you just say to me?" he bit out as he took a step toward the Maybank boy.

          JJ only laughed and stepped back with his hands up in surrender. "Nothing, man."

          A dark laugh ripped through Rafe's chest as he tore his eyes from JJ and looked at his girlfriend. "This is the guy you ditch me for? Really?" He shook his head in frustration and brought a hand up to scratch his jaw. He glanced at JJ again before he returned to glare at his girlfriend. "You gonna' fuck him now too? You're mad at me so you're going to fuck this piece of shit, is that it?"

          Izzy felt her heart drop. She looked into Rafe's eyes and only saw hatred. She had never seen this side of Rafe, and she was hoping it didn't exist. "Excuse you?"

          Rafe aggressively combed a hand through his hair. "Nah, I'm just saying maybe you took a page out of Sarah's book and decided to open your legs for every guy you see. Jen and Scar aren't good influences either."

          Izzy narrowed her eyes into slits. "Are you so insecure that you'd think I'd cheat on you?" she scoffed. "Like where the fuck is this coming from? Are you trying to overcompensate for something?" She lifted a brow and gestured to his crotch.

          Rafe threw up his hands. "There you go again. You're always arguing with me. I'm just—" He cut himself off and stepped forward so he was only a few inches from Izzy's face. He stared into her eyes with so much anger even Izzy couldn't understand what he was feeling. "I'm just trying to figure out if you're a slut or not."

          Before Izzy could even react, JJ reached out and shoved Rafe's chest. Rafe stumbled back, clearly surprised by the boy's actions. Izzy watched in confusion as JJ stepped in front of her and glared at Rafe. "Calling your girlfriend a slut? That's a new low."

          Rafe scoffed. "Shut up, Pogue."

          "Stop calling her a slut and I will," JJ calmly said, but his voice was dark, angry.

          "Or what?" Rafe spat through clenched teeth as he charged toward JJ with his hands clenched into fists at his sides. He was going in for a punch, but Izzy was quicker.

          Izzy shoved JJ behind her and put a hand on Rafe's chest to stop him from giving JJ a black eye. "Rafe, don't," she warned. She knew his father would have it out for him if he punched a sixteen-year-old kid because he couldn't control his anger.

          "Fuck off, Iz," Rafe spat, but he didn't look at her. His eyes were locked on JJ. "Pogues need to learn that sometimes dogs are better off being put down."

          It was those words that set off JJ as he stepped forward, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. He wanted to inflict pain onto Rafe, and Izzy couldn't blame him, but she was too tired and irritated to have to deal with cleaning up Rafe's face if she let the two boys have a go at each other. She was tired of blood. She hated it.

          Just as JJ was about to swing, Izzy pushed his chest and sent him a look. That was all it took to stop JJ from following through with his actions. He continued to stare at her face for a few seconds before he gave up entirely and averted his gaze to Rafe's face. "You're a piece of shit, Rafe," was all he said before he began to retreat from the two rich kids. But before he disappeared into the crowd, he turned around and nodded his head at Izzy. "Oh, and white looks good on you, Princess." A smirk lifted onto his face as he dragged his eyes across her shocked face. And then he was gone.

          Izzy felt a laugh bubble in her chest, but she didn't let it leave her lips. However, a smile managed to sneak past her consciousness and it lifted onto her face. She was confused as to how JJ and his stupidity had managed to make her smile let alone almost laugh for the first time in what felt like forever.

          "A Pogue? Really?" Rafe spewed, tearing Izzy from her thoughts and bringing her back to reality. She felt the smile drop from her face and the void return.

          Izzy turned to look at him and shrugged. "I didn't do anything. I would never do anything," she stated, her words full of truth. "I would never cheat on you. You don't have to walk around acting like I belong to you like some insecure little bitch. I'm your girlfriend, not your property."

          "Yeah, you're something all right," Rafe spat before he took off.

          Izzy scoffed. "Excuse you? What's that supposed to mean?" she yelled at him, following after him.

          Rafe whipped around. "It means I can't fucking trust you, Iz," he claimed, his voice full of frustration. "You and Sarah and every girl are exactly the same. You want attention and you'll turn to anyone to get it."

          Izzy's heart dropped to the pit of her stomach. It hurt. It really hurt to hear those words come from Rafe's lips. It hurt to remember a time when he would call her beautiful and confess that she was the best person in his life. It hurt to remember that he wasn't always fueled with anger and hatred. But perhaps it hurt the most when she realized the boy who would open the car door for her wasn't there anymore. That boy had been replaced by this sorry excuse of a man who called her derogatory names and expected her to just stand by his side like some kind of puppet on a string.

          Tears pricked her eyes but she reminded herself he'd only get more angry if she let them spill over her cheeks. She reminded herself pretty girls didn't and couldn't cry. And then she opened her mouth, but before she could say anything to him, a quarrel broke out a couple feet away from them, making her lose her train of thought.

          Izzy turned her head just in time to see Topper whack a cup of beer out of JJ's hand, smacking it at the boy's face. JJ wiped the beer from his face and scoffed. Sarah and John B, who were standing around the two boys, stared in shock at the scene in front of them. Sarah stepped forward and wrapped a hand around Topper's forearm, trying to pull him away, but he shoved her off and lightly smacked JJ's face a few times in an attempt to rile him up.

          It was then JJ lost it. "You're so funny, man," he yelled, shoving Topper's chest.

          John B stepped between the two boys, holding off JJ from punching Topper. "Hey," he muttered, trying to gain JJ's gaze so he could calm him down and they could walk away without any bruises.

          Topper laughed at that. "Dirty Pogues!" he yelled.

          That was all it took before John B let himself unravel and then he was charging toward Topper and shoving his chest. Topper stumbled backward in shock as Sarah took a step forward to calm him down.

        Pope stepped out from the crowd and steadied JJ. "We're supposed to be incognito, remember?" he snapped, scolding the two boys who were in over their heads.

          Topper moved Sarah out of his way and charged toward John B, punching him across the face. Sarah yelled at him to stop, but he ignored her and punched the boy again. This time, the impact of his fist made John B stumble backward and fall into the water. JJ tried to get around Pope to get revenge on Topper, but the Heyward boy stopped him from advancing further. Topper shook his head at their obvious distress and kicked John B over onto his side, the saltwater splashing against his body.

          People crowded around the quarrel, chanting at the top of their lungs for the boys to fight. It was then Rafe took off to join Kelce in the crowd with Izzy following after him. Izzy caught sight of Scarlet in the crowd, but she couldn't find Jennifer (she figured she had left). But she didn't care to stand beside the girl in the crowd, she was too focused on the scene in front of her. Fear pumped through her veins as she heard Sarah yelling at the top of her lungs, trying to get Topper to retire from the stupid fight. But the chants from the crowd only fueled Topper's motivation.

          A small smirk lifted onto Topper's face. "Hey, John B, don't make me drown you like your old man, all right?" he taunted, slurring his words together as he kicked John B again.

        John B struggled to stand to his feet, which amused Topper. Before anyone could process what was going on, John B stood to his feet and tackled Topper to the ground. Water crashed around them as the two of them threw punches at each other. Izzy glanced to see Sarah step forward to stop the fight, but before she could get involved Izzy raced toward her and pulled her away from the fight. Sarah protested, but Izzy held her back, knowing Sarah would only get hurt if she tried to interfere.

          "Come on, Topper!" Rafe yelled, fueling the fight along with the others in the crowd. Izzy shook her head at him. "Let's go! Come on!"

          The two boys throwing punches at each other, moved further up the beach and tore apart. They readied themselves into fighting stances with their fists out in front of them. Topper threw the first punch, knocking John B to the ground. John B quickly stabilized himself and dodged the fist coming toward his face. He grabbed onto Topper's waist and began punching his ribcage. He swung Topper around and punched him in the face, knocking him to the ground.

          "Come on, guys! Stop! This is stupid!" Kiara yelled from the sidelines. Her hands were tangled in her hair as she stared at the two boys with anxiety-ridden eyes.

          Topper lifted himself from the ground and charged at John B, knocking him to the ground. He kicked him into the water, crouching down beside him as he grasped onto John B's hair and dunked his head under the water. Izzy heart rate sped up as Sarah yelled at her to get out of the way. Topper was in over his head.

          "He's drowning him!" Kie yelled. She looked at the two girls. "Do something about your friend!"

          Izzy glanced from the girl back to Topper. And then things were moving too fast. Everything faded together and Izzy felt like she couldn't breathe. John B was drowning. If no one did anything, they'd all watch someone die. Izzy would have to experience death for the second time in her life and she didn't know how to deal with that. It was that thought that made Izzy's grip on Sarah loosen, allowing the girl enough room to escape her and approach the scene. But before anyone else could move or scream, JJ dug through his backpack and pulled out a gun. The crowd fell silent as JJ approached the boys and held the gun to the back of Topper's head, clicking the safety off.

         "Yeah, you know what that is," JJ spat out, not faltering his grip on Topper's shirt. "Your move broski."

          Topper released his grip on John B and held his hands up in the air as a sign of surrender. "Chill, dude," he sputtered out.

          It was then, Izzy was brought back to reality. Someone could die. That was something that could happen. First it was John B, now it was going to be Topper. Izzy couldn't take it. She hated death. "JJ, put the gun down," Izzy yelled before she could stop herself. She just couldn't watch someone die. It was too much.

          "Did you say somethin', Princess?" JJ called back, his tone mocking.

          "We're good. We're good," Topper stuttered as he slowly rose to his feet.

          "Put the gun down!" Sarah yelled.

          A scoff left JJ's lips before he shook his head and removed the gun from Topper's skull. He shoved Topper, the impact making him stumble, but Sarah caught him. Sarah whipped her head to glare at Kiara. "Kie, can you check your psycho friend, please?" she yelled, despite that the problem had seemingly already been dissolved. Kie only looked between the boys in shock as the crowd dispersed.

          And just as everything seemed to be coming to an end, Rafe decided to stir the pot. He stepped forward and yelled at JJ, "Jesus Christ, you really are just as pathetic as your old man."

          JJ pointed the gun at Rafe. "What'd you say?"

          Rafe shook his head. He didn't seem to think JJ would fire the gun. "Hey, wrong move, man."

          JJ shoved the gun at him. "No, go on. Say it again!" he yelled, his voice filled with fury as the veins in his neck protruded.

          It was then Izzy swallowed the fear bubbling in her throat and stepped in front of Rafe. He may have been an asshole, but he had been one of the only people to be there for her after her mother's death and she just couldn't watch him die because JJ was drunk and angry. She didn't know if JJ would actually pull the trigger but she couldn't risk it. She didn't know him anymore. She couldn't anticipate what he would do. "JJ, just put the gun down," she said in a calm voice, although she felt like she was about to explode. Tears pricked her eyes as she remembered her mother's death and all the blood. There was so much blood. She couldn't see that again. "It's—He's not worth it.

          Anger poured out of JJ. "Get out of the way, Princess," he spat.

          "I will when you put down the gun," Izzy said. Her voice was shaking now.

          JJ tore his gaze from her face and faced all the eyes staring at him. "Okay, everyone! Listen up! Get the hell off our side of the island!" he yelled before he pointed the gun at the sky and fired two bullets into the darkness.

          Izzy covered her ears, her heart pounding out of her chest. She hated loud noises. "What the fuck? Are you fucking psychotic?" she screamed.

          Pope reached for JJ and grabbed his arms, shaking him. "Are you crazy?" he yelled. "You idiot! Why would you do that?"

          Kie shoved the blond boy's chest. "It's not worth it!"

          "I'm saving his life, okay?" JJ yelled back, but he didn't meet their eyes. He was too busy burning holes into Izzy's green eyes as she stared back at him in horror.

          "Izzy, come on," Sarah pleaded as she grabbed her friend's arm and tried tugging her way from the scene but Izzy wouldn't budge. "Let's get out of here! Izzy!"

          "You Pogues are fucking insane!" Rafe yelled before he grabbed Topper and took off down the beach after Kelce, who was almost at the exit. Kelce waved the rest of the group over and the boys followed. Scarlet was hot on their heels, but Izzy wouldn't move and Sarah wouldn't leave without her.

          "Yeah, go on! Go back to your mansions!" JJ yelled after them but his eyes still stayed on Izzy, almost as if he was telling her to leave. He wanted her to prove to him that Kooks and Pogues didn't mix; that they were meant to hate each other. "You don't belong here! You don't fucking belong here!

          Izzy swallowed her fear as she tried to process what had just happened. Deep down she knew JJ would have never fired the gun at another person, but a part of her wondered if maybe he would have had things been a little different. If Rafe had said something else, maybe JJ would have shot. It made her realize the Pogue and Kook rivalry went beyond the superficial. They were natural-born enemies, and JJ had just proven that by threatening to shoot two of them. That made her hate JJ Maybank all the more.

          And with that hatred coursing through her veins, Izzy clenched her jaw and tore her gaze from JJ's face. She gripped onto Sarah's hand and took off after their group. But at the last second before she turned away from JJ, she caught his gaze and saw something flash in his eyes. His eyes seemed to call to her, and for a second she felt at ease. But she quickly shook her head of those thoughts and turned away from him, continuing to run across the beach. She couldn't sympathize with him. She had to hate him, because she did, obviously. She hated him two years ago, and she hated him now. There would be nothing but hatred in her heart when she thought of JJ Maybank. She was sure of that.

a/n: ahh i love them! ik, they're hella slow-burn but it'll be worth it i promise! also yes seaweed brain is from pjo because i'm annoying and obsessed!

also i'm putting this in every chapter that rafe is in: so i don't know who needs to hear this, but rafe IS a toxic person. he's a toxic person in the show and he's a toxic person in this fic. i wrote him like this because it's canon to the show. his and izzy's relationship should NOT be romanticized. i am not romanticizing them, and you shouldn't either. so please don't romanticize them. it's not cute. it's not romantic. it's wrong.

thanks for reading!