epilogue
hope is the thing with feathers

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MONTHS LATER
THE BEACH,
OUTER BANKS

          Isadora Windsor (or rather Isadora Davenport now) used to like to believe she didn't need anyone. It was an old state of mind which she adopted when she was young, but it stuck with her throughout her teenage years. She had since abandoned that notion since the start of the summer, and replaced it with a new one, one that brought her comfort instead of pain.

         Pain, of course, was still everpresent.

         After the events of the storm, there had been no sign of Sarah Cameron and John B Routledge. Everyone was left to think they had died in the eye of the storm. But not Izzy.

         Izzy held on to hope.

         It was all she had left, and she wouldn't let fear take that from her. Even now, on one of the many weekends that she had driven up to the Outer Banks to visit JJ and the others, she still had hope. Everything would be okay. She tried to remind JJ of that too, but he was a little harder to get to, especially with his dwindling theories of where John B and Sarah had ended up. Izzy was beginning to think he'd given up hope, so she tried to keep his mind off it as much as possible.

         And today? Izzy had planned a beach date for the two of them. It worked every time. As soon as JJ was in the water, he was at peace.

         Currently, the pair were wrapped in each other's arms, just floating in the water without a thought on their minds. Now . . . yes, Izzy used to be terrified of water. Used to.

          Izzy Davenport had never been afraid of the water. She had been afraid of death. But now . . . she had conquered her fear, and the water had never felt so cool. It was like finally being able to breath again.

          It was bliss.

         Izzy smiled into JJ's kiss as these thoughts revisited her. It was bliss. No, no, this was. He was.

          "You taste like sweet tea," he whispered against her lips, slowly pulling back.

         "Because I was just drinking sweet tea."

          "Oh well, fuck me, excuse me for not knowing, your highness."

          Izzy laughed, her eyes crinkling at the ends. "Always with the jokes, JJ," she mused as she quickly kisses his cheek. "Don't you get tired of hearing yourself speak?"

         "No, no, never," he hummed as he shook his head. "I find myself pretty hilarious."

          "You're so annoying."

          "I try."

          "Well, don't make it a habit," she jokingly warned, poking his chest as she tried to act serious, but it didn't end in her favor. She ended up beaming up at him anyway, a wide grin on her face.

         JJ couldn't help but grin back. "Wouldn't dream of it."

          Izzy kissed him once more then before she wrapped her arms tighter around his neck as she rested her cheek on his shoulder. This was bliss, she confirmed as she closed her eyes, allowing herself to feel the water lap up against her body.

          The silence consumed them then, but it was no longer filled with distress. It was no longer painful. The silence, now, had become bliss, too.

          And then . . .

           "You really believe they're out there?" JJ questioned, his voice weak . . . almost silent.

         But still, Izzy had hope. "I do," she confirmed this hope with her words as her eyes slowly fluttered open. "I just . . . feel it." Her eyes stayed on the ocean, peering into the distance.

          "How do you know for sure?"

          How did she know that? Izzy didn't have all the answers. No one ever did. But she just knew they were out there. They had to be, and that was enough for her.

          Hope was enough for her.

          Why, you might ask.

          Well . . .

          "There's a poem by Emily Dickinson called Hope is the Thing with Feathers and it's a kind of hymn of praise," Izzy began, her voice quiet. "It was written to honor the human capacity for hope, how humans allow themselves to hope because it gives them a purpose, makes them feel alright."

          JJ stayed silent.

           And Izzy took this as her sign to continue.

           "The poem . . . it uh . . . it portrays hope as this kind of bird that lives within the human soul," Izzy went on, her eyes still trained on the distant ocean. "This bird sings through it all; through rain and storm or shine, through good times or bad. It's essentially a metaphor for how powerful human hope can be . . . "

          The sound of JJ's heart beating just a little faster answered her in response. It was almost as if a bolt of this hope she spoke so highly of had spread through him at that moment, his heart responding to its call.

          Izzy knew that feeling well.

          It had followed her to Charleston, and it had yet to leave. She hoped it never will.

          Izzy felt herself smile at that. "When I lose hope . . . I look up and there's something that shows me the way. Just like when I had that hallucination of my mom . . . there was a butterfly. It showed me the way; told me to fight," she explained, her voice still quiet but steady. "To Dickinson hope was a thing with feathers . . . to me . . . it's a thing with wings."

          A beat of silence.

          Izzy welcomed it, and then she spoke.

          "When I lose hope . . . there's always a butterfly just around the corner," she hummed. "And every time . . . it flies toward the ocean. It's like it's telling me they're still out there; that they survived."

         JJ audibly swallowed before he hoarsely whispered, "And you believe that?"

           Only then did Izzy finally look up to meet his eyes. His were slightly reddened now, and Izzy, she met this with a nimble touch. Izzy wiped away the fallen tears with a warm smile before she whispered back, "I do. I really do."

          JJ could only nod. "Huh," he remarked with a small, sad smile on his face. "Hope is a thing with wings."

          "Feathers, but you got the gist."

         A laugh bubbled from his throat at that. "Smartass."

          "Dumbass."

          JJ pecked her cheek. "You love me."

         And Izzy stilled at those words, but not because she was afraid. No . . . because . . . "You know . . . hope isn't the only thing those pesky butterflies have given me," she mumbled before she could let her thoughts consume her.

          "I'll humor you. What else have they given you?"

          She only smiled. "Love."

           In shock, JJ blinked. "Iz—"

          "It's silly, isn't it? To believe in that," she laughed, shaking her head. "But I cant help it . . . because . . . well . . . I really do fucking love you."

         Fuck.

          I love you.

          Fuck.

          She'd really said it. And the truth was . . . she really did. She was sure she always had, she had just been too scared to admit it back then. She had been too scared to lose him, to love him, to have him and let him love her right back.

          But . . .

          . . . Izzy wasn't scared anymore.

          That very thought made her grin grow wider. "I love you, JJ," she said again.

          "Iz . . . " JJ trialed off, shock evident on his face. "I was joking. You don't have to say that shit."

          "No," Izzy simply said with a shake of her head, "just—just let it be for a second."

           And JJ did. She wasn't sure if he could even speak, let alone refute her claims.

           That was okay.

           Really it was.

         Because Izzy spoke the truth, and she knew this now. She was sure a part of her always did.

          With that warm smile still on her face, Izzy cupped her hands over JJ's cheeks. "I love you," she whispered just for his ears. It really always had been just for him. Always for him. "I love you. Truly. I think you're a special person, JJ. You have this . . . this heart, and—and this mind. You're amazing. You make me believe in things again."

         "Do I now?" JJ remarked with a laugh in disbelief. "Like what?"

          "You," Izzy simply said. "I believe in you."

           And that was it.

          JJ couldn't believe it. He couldn't. He didn't even know what to do. He just—

         He kissed her.

         That was all he could do—kiss her.

         And Izzy kissed him right back.

         "Do you mean it? Really mean it?" he breathed out against her lips. "About me? About . . . love . . . loving me?"

          Izzy only kissed him one last time before she cradled his face again and mumbled, "I don't think love is easy. I think it's honestly really fucking hard which is why you don't see it often. And if it's that rare, if it's that hard to find them it's gotta' live up to its name otherwise what's the point? Love should conquer all even if it requires a little help."

          "Well . . . " JJ trailed off as he searched her eyes, finding exactly what he was looking for, "you've conquered me . . . many times."

          Shaking her head, Izzy only laughed as she fixed a loose strand of his blond hair. "I'm not much of a conqueror, Seaweed Brain."

          "I'll be the judge of that," JJ hummed as he brought her in for a hug, wrapping his arms tightly around her body with his head buried in the crook of her neck. "I love you, too, Princess." He pressed one final kiss against her shoulder, and it was like they were finally both at peace. Maybe not forever, maybe not even tomorrow, but for that moment, the two troubled teens were at peace.

         They could only hope this sliver of peace they were given would outweigh all odds. And perhaps it really would.

        Because, in the end, all anyone ever has is hope. Even if you have nothing, you still have hope. She had it. JJ did too. And Izzy . . . Izzy had finally learned how to let the cut heal without picking the scab. Sure, there was a small scar where the cut used to be, but it served as a reminder that she was truly, deeply, finally human. She was made of flesh and bone, the plastic had melted away. There was no dollhouse to maintain, to live in, and fake a smile for. There was just . . . peace. Finally.

          Izzy Davenport was a cut that had finally learned how to heal. The scab was gone, replaced with a small scar, and she had never felt more real. She was human. She was made of flesh and bone, and her heart pumped with blood. There was no sign of a void plaguing the organ. She was just a girl wrapped in the arms of a boy—the only boy she had ever loved, and she had never felt more at home.

         This was bliss. This was how she held onto her hope; her love. This was how Izzy Davenport finally let herself live.

a/n: if you notice in the gif izzy's hair is different. i do be doing that on purpose to symbolize her growth/change. Hehe anyways, thank you all for joining me on this long journey. I love you all so much and wish you the best mwah!

Thank you for reading, my loves! <3