BESTFRIEND .ᐟ dohoon x GN .ᐟ reader     GENRE .ᐟ pining, fluff     TW .ᐟ none     WORD COUNT .ᐟ 1.5k

There was no doubt that Dohoon was deeply, madly, in love with you.

He's always had his suspicions about it, seeing as: “Why does my heart start to hurt when I look at my best friend?” didn't show up as any sort of medical condition as he looked it up on Google. They could've just been his palpitations, really, with how much coffee he consumes, to your displeasure, he wouldn't be surprised if they were, but the feeling, almost like his chest was squeezing against his heart, was different from palpitations. It didn't take a search engine to figure it out: he'd fallen in love with you.

He didn't even know how it happened. One day, you were just you to him, and then the next, you weren't. Well, technically, you were, but there was something different about the way that you talked, the way you you replaced his order with an iced tea if he decided to up his caffeine, the way you laughed at jokes he didn't even realize he'd been making, the way you wrapped him in your arms, saying that you missed him, even though you saw each other every day. One day, you were just someone he'd held close because you'd never leave in the first place, and then the next, you were… he couldn't even describe it, but you were different to him. It was a good difference, he'd decided, but different all the same.

“Dohoon, aren't you going to go home?”

Dohoon lifted his head up from his desk and was surprised to see that the sun had been setting. He didn't need to see it to know it. The classroom, with all of its monotony, was drowning in the colors of it happening. If anyone were to ask him how to describe it, all he could say was that it was beautiful, just like everything else that people had an eye for, but with you, locking eyes with you in that moment as he realized that you'd been inches away from him, inches too close, as the rays hit you in a way that brought the brownness of your eyes, he had nothing to say.

Translation: you'd made him speechless, and the slight tug of your lips as you managed to get him up wasn't helping either. He could already feel it, the way his heart pounded against his ribs, like it didn't have the space to breathe, and he wondered if you could manage to hear it from how empty the classroom had been. He wondered if you even realized you had that kind of effect on him. Eitherway, you were here, and you were starting to make his heart hurt, again.

“It's late, why are you still here?” You leaned back against the chair that you pulled to sit next to him. “I was going to go home, you know, but I caught up with Youngjae and he told me you were still here. Told me you were out of it.”

“Not really. I kind of just told him I'd be staying behind. Think it made him upset.”

That was a lie. Well, part of it. Youngjae did get upset at him for it, seeing as they always walked home together. But he really was out of it earlier. He blamed it on his coffee, or the lack of it, actually. His day has never been complete without it but he had a hypothesis to test and you were proving every statement of the problem that he had to ask.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” you explained, “I thought you were sleeping so I gave you a moment, but then the sun was setting so I had to wake you. You were sleeping, weren't you?”

“Do you want me to be honest?”

“Were you planning not to?”

“I wasn't sleeping, actually. I was thinking.”

“So you were out of it.”

“I don't know what being out of it means, but if it means not being able to drink coffee since yesterday then, yeah, I am out of it. I feel like I'm going through a withdrawal. It's that serious.”

Another lie. How long would it take for you to notice?

“Why didn't you just say so?” You lean forward and Dohoon felt his breath against his throat as he tried to hide how red he's been getting. “Come on, let's go home. I know a place that just opened that serves the best Iced Americano ever, which is, to be honest, a stretch, because how can you mess that up? Now, get up, let's go.”

Despite wanting to refuse, Dohoon was up. He had no choice, eitherway. Before he had a chance to say no, you were already grabbing his backpack and walking out of there. He didn't even have a moment to wonder what it meant for the both of you when the two left the campus, heading right over to the place that you mentioned as you bought yourself an Iced Americano and a Salted Caramel Latte for him (no coffee, you thought that it was safer for him), before continuing down the road to go home, as the both of you promised to. “What are we?” Dohoon would've loved to ask as he drank what was given to him, the cold not helping his nerves, but he already knew the answer to that, at least, he decided on your answer to that; he's never actually asked, he didn't want to risk it.

As always, he was a coward. Right there, walking with you, shoulders touching each other as neither of you knew how to walk without bumping one or the other, Dohoon pressed his fingers against the flesh right above where his heart was and felt it, the pain, like he'd just consumed an entire week’s worth of shots. It could be the sugar, really, because sugar was just as bad for him as coffee had been, but he was just telling himself that.

“You really are out of it.”

“Am I?”

“Yeah.” You took a sip out of your coffee. “You keep zoning out. I mean, that's pretty normal for you, but it looks like you're actually thinking about something. Do you want to talk about it?”

Do you want to talk about yourself?

“It's nothing serious. It's just something that's been on my mind for a while. I can't help but feel like I'm overthinking it.”

“What is it about?”

“Just…” Dohoon paused. What should he say? That he was thinking about you while you were there? He's already got enough of a loser image no thanks to Youngjae’s stories of him, he didn't want to stay true to that plot, not when it had something to do with you. “Something personal. I don't really know to explain it… it's a realization? Took me long enough to figure out.”

“Sounds like a lot. How are you holding up?”

“Not that good.”

The first truth he's ever answered to any of your questions. You seemed to acknowledge this, finishing the last of your drink before all that was left were ice cubes. You didn't mind, though, continuing to drink through the melted ice. “If it's a realization, I don't know how anyone can help you with it, but I do know that they can probably help you make sense of it, I guess? I'm not saying you should talk to me about it but, hey, I am here. You can talk to me about it if you want.”

What followed was a second of silence. Or not. Instead of answering, Dohoon chewed on his straw as he thought of what to tell you. For you, maybe, it was silence. For him, it was as it always was with you beside him, all beating and breathing, all his to blame.

“Or not.” The two of you were now in front of your house. Dohoon wished you could stay for a while, but he knew that he'd have nothing to say if you did. “But talk about it to someone, alright? Unless you want to stay the night at school then, hey, go for it.”

Dohoon held your gaze and there it was again, that feeling. “Thank you for walking with me and for… you know.” He shrugged. “Waking me up. Think I would've fallen asleep there if it weren't for you. Imagine having that on your record.”

You laughed and Dohoon understood why he was having those feelings. If not him, then who? Dohoon didn't like to entertain that question. But the way you said goodbye to him, not before hugging him, as you always did, made sense of it. Dohoon sighed, fingers rubbing against his uniform as he tried to listen to the way his heart jumped at even the thought of your name, but it was softer, this time, almost like the admittance was calming him. It did, really. Not everyone was brave enough to admit that they were into their best friend. Not everyone was brave enough to admit that they were into you.

Just like that, his heart sped up again, and it would take him a walk home and a shower to finally get it to calm down.

NOTE .ᐟ this is literally so unpolished but take this as an introductory to my writing because it's been a while since i got back into writing so these first few chapters are going to sound... awkward, which is an understatement.