Imagine that you are very comfortable, and are just about to drift off to sleep. Your eyes have closed, and your thoughts whirl away, leaving only wisps and whispers of dreams that are beginning to form.

"Cream. Cream. Cream." "You've said that ten times," you hear from dreamland.

Your eyes open in confusion. You squint quizzically at the ceiling. Okay, that was weird. What in the world was that dream going to be about?

You must be tired. In fact, tired enough to, over the course of a few weeks, accumulate this list of weird drifting-off-to-sleep sentences that were random enough to wake you up. (So counterproductive.)

"Streeetch the earth in the middle."

"Blackboards, wet wipes, and Willy Wonka, waiting for your response."

"Always always always ALWAYS walk them down the hill. There'll be bites, big bites..."

"From morning to sheep because sheep are odd composed..."

"Agrarian revolution..."

"And cars way bigger than we imagined..."

"...Which encouraged the young shoemaker from Dunlap to find his brother and seek revenge..."

"He used this advice to rule with an iron fish. Because he wasn't Richard the Lion-Hearted, he was Richard the Eel-Hearted."

"Nick Charge, you're N. Charge."

updates:

"This brand is from Red Lobster."
"Yeah?"
"And it is fluorescent..."

"Fine, I'll find something better to rub my skin flakes on"

"Just one more lava cake..."

"Where are we?"
"See, these are the egg whipped cream."

"Punch it."
"Orange."
"And now I'm yawning."

"People were already affected."
"Yeah, the sheep were acting really strange."

"What does he want?"
"The moon?"

"A frozen, winterized cake that will leave you hungry for more."

"I will the raccoon but I really don't think he'll enjoy the night vision?"

"All the dogs and the frogs and the rams and the lambs and the concrete pavement—"

"With advertising like this, no one will come!"

"Cranberry green, Snabapple Trail..."

"He was ridiculous incarnate, eaten by a wild boar."

"I stole the final clue—and they're just in there eating raisins."

(and yes, I do occasionally lie there half-asleep and write down these every time I'm just about to drift off.)

(And one time there weren't any weird sentences? It was just... birds chirping. To the tune of The Hall of the Mountain King. For like an entire minute straight. it was so weird.)